Chapter 7 #3
I’m almost to the gate when the sound of a car door closing rings out. I expect it to be Trent meeting me at the gate because that seems like the kind of thing he’d do. So when a hand wraps around my biceps and spins me back around, it takes me entirely by surprise, and I freeze.
I never freeze.
Letting your panic get the best of you can mean death. It’s why I’ve always acted in the now instead of letting people get the jump on me. It’s part of what makes me lethal. Never let them get the chance to question what you can do.
I’m spun around and come face to face with Spencer. I’m not sure why, but I expected him to drive away as soon as I was out of the car, and that was the problem.
His grip on my arm is firm, almost bruising, as he pulls me into his space and away from the keypad that opens the gate.
He leans forward, bringing us eye to eye, and all I can do is stare back at him.
“Don’t be dumb. You might be a lot of things, but I know you're smart.” He all but spits the words in my face, his eyes angry as he stares at me.
“I followed you because I don’t trust you not to make stupid choices.
So I’m telling you not to,” he says, again with that same demanding tone he used in the car, and it’s enough to snap me out of whatever the fuck had me frozen.
Yanking my arm from his grasp, I plant both of my hands on his chest and shove him away.
He doesn’t go far, and I mentally curse myself for not putting more strength into it.
He staggers back a step, and at least that's something.
“I don’t need your warnings, Spencer,” I say as we continue to stare each other down. I hear a car door from beyond the gate and know it’s Trent, but I can’t bring myself to look at him just yet.
“I’ve been doing just fine all these years on my own. I know what I’m doing.” I hiss, letting my anger match the tone he had with me.
He runs his hand through his hair in a clear sign of frustration before he steps back into my space. This time he doesn’t bend to match my height, and I have to crane my head back to hold his gaze, which is fine. I’d rather break my damn neck than back down from this asshole and his bullshit.
“That’s the fucking problem with you, Jade!
You're not alone anymore, so stop acting like you are.” His words are quieter.
He’s no longer shouting, but they're no less harsh, and for some reason, they make me pause. His response was not what I was expecting. As I stare up at him, I feel like I’ve missed something.
Yes, he’s angry, but looking at him now, I realize it’s more than that, even if I can’t tell exactly what it is.
“What?” I say on a breath. I didn’t even mean to, but I’m so damn confused now. I thought he was upset because he doesn’t trust me. Hell, until two seconds ago, I would have bet my life that he still wanted me gone, but his words just completely threw that whole idea out the window.
Somehow, he gets impossibly closer, and I have to fight against the urge to shrink away. Not out of fear for my safety, but out of fear for what he’s about to say. I know I’m not going to like it.
“I don’t trust you not to go out there and throw this all away on some stupid notion that you're doing what you have to. You aren’t alone anymore, and you need to act like it.”
He’s so close I can smell him now. He smells like clove cigarettes and leather, and while the idea of those two scents doesn’t sound appealing, they’re very much Spencer. They both make sense and distract the fuck out of me.
“It would destroy Zander if something happened to you. Fuck, Kratos might actually kill us all, and what about Charlotte? How do you think she would feel if she lost you?” He fires off the questions one after another, not even giving me a chance to respond before he keeps pushing.
“So you need to get your head out of your ass and remember that you are not alone out here. You might not need us to keep you safe, but you need to stop putting yourself in the line of fire just because you've survived this long. You’re not indestructible. You have resources.” He throws his arms wide in a gesture at the space around him, but I can’t look away.
“For fuck's sake, you run the whole damn city, so start acting like it and let people help you.” His words increase in volume until he’s once again shouting.
I reel back before I can stop myself, as his words really sink in.
The urge to bite back at him is there, to say something that throws him off the same way he just did to me, but I can’t think of anything.
Before I get the chance, he turns away, heading back to his car.
I stand speechless as he slams the door and throws the car into reverse before swinging it around and disappearing back down the path, driving much faster than he did when I was just in the car with him.
“Jade!” Trent’s voice carries to me from beyond the gate, forcing me to pull my eyes from the spot where Spencer’s car vanished before I once again make my way to the keypad.
The second the gate swings open, Trent rushes toward me, gathering me up in his arms. I don’t even have time to panic, not that I think I would have.
For some reason I don’t understand myself, Trent’s touch doesn’t bother me.
He pulls back but doesn’t let me go completely, his hands moving up to grip my shoulders as he stares down at me.
“What the fuck was that about?” He looks me over from head to toe as if assessing me for damage, and I can’t fight the smile that pulls at my lips. “Did he hurt you?” he asks, anger evident in his tone at the idea.
Like I said, Trent’s just a nice guy all the way around.
When I shake my head, his shoulders drop, and he breathes a sigh of relief.
Trent is everything I’m not, and for some reason, it’s alluring. It makes me want to be around him, even though I know it’s a bad idea.
My smile melts off my face.
I can’t put him in danger just because I’m selfish. But that’s exactly what I’m doing, not only with him, but with Hazel, too.
Fuck.
The point of all of this was to keep people safe, but if I have to put them in danger to accomplish that, is it really worth it?
No, it can’t be.
I pull back slightly. Second-guessing every choice I’ve made tonight as endless possibilities of what my decisions could cause rush through my brain so fast and loud it’s overwhelming.
“Let’s get out of here; Hazel’s waiting,” Trent says, oblivious to my internal meltdown as he heads back toward his truck.
I look back down the driveway before turning back to watch Trent as he walks away, struggling to decide what to do.
I should go back to the house. This could put them in danger. But I also want to be around them. They make me feel normal and seen and somehow don’t send me into a panic when they touch me. I’ve never had that before with anyone outside of the girls, and–.
No, stop it. Don't go there, Jade.
“You coming?” Trent calls to me with a smile, and I’m moving to follow him before I even make the choice because, for once, I want to be selfish.
Just for this one night, that’s all. I’ll be normal and have friends.
We hop up into his truck, and he smiles at me before he puts it in reverse, pulling away from the gate and turning back onto the road. I smile back, but it’s weak. Thankfully, he’s distracted enough that he doesn’t seem to notice.
I should never have gotten close to any of them.
Trent and Hazel are like a breath of fresh air that I know I don’t deserve, and Spencer wasn’t wrong about Kratos and Zander.
Kratos and I have had each other's backs for as long as I can remember. Zander is the closest thing I’ve ever had to a real friend who’s my friend for the sake of having a friend. No fucked up pasts tying us together. No need to stick together to survive.
But I can’t back down now. I’m so close, and while Charlotte might miss me if I’m gone, I’d never forgive myself if something happened to her because I chose to play it safe.
This is how it has to be, how it was always supposed to be.
Taking a deep breath, I let my resolve in the matter wash over me.
I was never supposed to care, but somehow I didn’t realize that having others care about me was the real danger. I can get hurt. I’m used to it, but I never wanted to hurt anyone else.
One thing is for sure; no matter what happens, tomorrow is going to suck.