Chapter 43 #2
I run a hand down my face, desperately trying to think of a way out of this for her, even though I already know there isn’t one. If there were, the guys would’ve found it already. They’ve been sorting through all this shit for the last week at least, but still, I couldn’t stop myself from trying.
“What the hell are you doing?” I reach out to snag the drink from Jade’s hand right before it reaches her lips. She doesn’t let it go, but she lets me pull the drink away, if only enough to ensure she doesn’t drink any of the shit my father spiked it with.
“I have to drink it, Jake. If I don’t, he’ll know, and then all of this will fall apart.” Her voice is stern, making me feel like I’m a child. Like she’s explaining something that should be simple to understand, but there's nothing simple about this, about her.
“Fuck that!” I shout, my anger getting the best of me before I remember where we are.
I glance around to see if anyone noticed, but from where we stand, we're out of the way of most people. Some look our way, but it appears they are looking with curiosity, not concern, so I don’t think they heard me.
I guide her hand back to the table, and she lets the drink go, setting it down even as she raises a brow at me in question.
“I can’t let you do this, Jade,” I say, breathing a sigh of frustration. “I know this was the plan, but I can’t do it. I can’t watch you take whatever the fuck that is and let you go willingly to that monster. I won’t.”
“Jacob,” Jade says my name with so much emotion that I know I’m not going to like whatever she’s about to say.
Nobody calls me Jacob except my father, and I’ve always hated it, but with her, it doesn’t feel the same.
She steps into my space until we’re almost chest-to-chest, and I have to look down to meet her gaze.
Her big green eyes look up at me, stealing the air from my lungs, and not for the first time I wish life wasn’t so cruel.
To give someone like her so much to endure—it’s not right. Yet she does it, and somehow is still a better person than myself, hell, than anyone I’ve ever met before.
I want to save her, even more than I’ve ever wanted to save myself. I would deal with my father and his twisted games for the rest of my life if it meant sparing her.
But that’s not how life works. It doesn’t give a shit about fair.
I see the determination shining in her eyes.
I won’t be able to talk her out of this, no matter how badly I want to.
“All I’ve ever wanted my whole life is somewhere to belong, people who care about me.
” She holds my gaze, and I can see the pain in her eyes as she looks up at me, begging me to understand.
“I thought I was in the rings because there was something wrong with me when I was a child, that I was unlovable. I helped the girls not only for them but so that I could be worthy of something. It’s been the only thing that’s kept me going. ”
I can’t make myself look away even though her words pull at my chest. I want to scream, but I also want to shelter her, and I can do neither as I stand here.
“Being out, being free with the guys these last few weeks, has shown me that I might not be unworthy, the world might just be unfair, and I don’t…
” Her voice breaks, and I see tears pool in her eyes even though she doesn’t let them fall.
Shaking her head, she continues, “I don’t want to give that up, but I have to do this. It needs to be done so that I can protect the people who mean the most to me. I can’t let this keep happening. I won’t be the reason someone gets hurt. Never again.”
There's so much pain in her words, on her face, and in her eyes. I’ve never seen her this open before, not even when she spoke of some of what my father put her through.
I’m too busy in my head and thoughts to catch on quickly enough to stop her.
She turns from me, grabs her spiked drink off the table, and downs a good half of it before I can react.
I curse, reaching out and snagging the glass.
There’s not a whole lot left, but I have to believe that any advantage is a good one.
If I can’t talk her out of this, maybe I can at least make it not so bad.
I put the glass to my own lips and drink what’s left in a single gulp as she attempts to snatch it back from me.
When I’ve finished it, I slam the glass down on the table with more force than necessary, and the bottom glass chips against the hard marble top.
“Are you out of your mind?” she shrieks, no longer concerned with who hears us, but I can’t answer her.
Whatever’s in that drink is not only strong but fast-acting, and the world tilts before my eyes.
I blink a few times, and my vision clears, but I can still feel the effects as the drug worms its way into my system.
How she’s still standing says so much about not only her but the shit she’s been through.
Her dose had to be at least double what I just had.
By all rights, she should be unconscious on the floor already.
“No,” I tell her, or attempt to. That single word slurs, and I take a second to collect myself before I try again.
“No, I’m not. But now it’s gone, and you don’t have to deal with the full effect.
He’ll never know, and maybe this can help you.
” I explain as she continues looking at me like I’m out of my mind, and maybe I am.
“Even just a little bit.” I reach out, cupping her face in my hand, my thumb brushing the soft skin of her cheek and jaw.
I’m so fucked, and it has nothing to do with the drink or whatever my father did.
“I…thank you.” She stumbles over her words as she continues watching me as if she’s concerned I might fall over at any moment.
It’s a valid concern with how I’m feeling right now, but I keep my gaze on her, fighting against the feeling.
A small smile lights up her face, and for just a second, it’s just like earlier, like I mean something to her, but this time I might actually deserve it.