Chapter 34
Training has become the highlight of my days.
The guys have shit to handle outside of the house, and while they don’t flat-out leave me alone, I’m quickly becoming bored out of my mind.
I know leaving is dumb. We need every advantage going into this, and Randall proved that you never know who you can trust.
Logically, sitting around the house is the best choice, something I should have no problem with.
I spent so much of my life in the rings, abandoned buildings, small rooms packed full of girls and very little else.
But at least there, I had a goal. I had the girls to take care of and comfort while training and planning.
Now, this eight-thousand-square-foot literal mansion feels like its walls are closing in on me.
The guys do their best to distract me. Rick cooks with me and shows me how he keeps the books for the clubs.
The books don’t keep my attention, though, and as much as I love Vengeance, numbers aren’t my favorite.
To make things even worse, my concept of money still isn’t fantastic.
In the end, we spend most of our time in the gym, the kitchen, or his study, where I read while he works.
Trent bakes with me, and we spend time in the library, reading and talking about Hazel.
As he bounces back and forth between staying with us and at home.
At first, hearing about Hazel was hard, but I know it won’t be like this forever, and I look forward to when I can see her again.
I texted her a few nights ago. I know I shouldn't have, and I don’t dare tell the guys, but I couldn’t let her think I was gone.
That I’d abandoned her. It was a moment of weakness on my part, and I’ve gotten no less than fifty messages back from her since then, but it put a part of me at ease.
Kratos is busy with Jake and training him with the new club.
He’s doing great, but we both already knew he would.
He might have been an ass before to most people, but we never questioned his ability to do what we needed, just his loyalty.
Kratos stays at the house most nights when he isn’t needed at the club.
It’s almost funny watching him with the guys now.
Everyone is much more comfortable together, and it’s hard to imagine a time when Kratos used to be someone they feared.
Don’t get me wrong, they were right, too.
Kratos isn’t exactly a small man, but knowing him better seems to have helped them understand why he’s so guarded.
I’m sure fucking me with him has helped as well.
I’m not sure how you can do something like that and not be a little comfortable with someone.
Jake, on the other hand, seems like a nervous wreck.
I can see how worried he is about letting us down, which kills me.
Randall was my monster for years, but he was Jake’s for his whole life, and those scars run deep.
Even just these last two weeks are enough to see a difference as he gets comfortable with the guys and his new role.
Tonight, we head down to the gym to train, and he reaches out, lacing our fingers together.
I can’t help the smile that tugs at my lips as he continues his conversation with Trent, as if reaching for me was natural.
After our talk in his room, he was still skittish about touching me in front of the guys, worried they would be upset.
I knew they wouldn’t be. I didn’t even have to ask to know that, but I did anyway, if only to put him at ease.
None of them seemed the least bit shocked by my question.
If anything, they actually seemed to think we were already together.
But still, I didn’t want to push him, and I didn’t have to, it would seem.
Baby steps are still movement, and every day, his father’s scars seem to heal, and I’ll be here every step of the way. We all will.
Leo and Dom are already waiting for us in the gym when we get down there.
They stand by the benches, talking, and I have to fight the urge to turn around and leave.
Being around them is so confusing. I know they were right.
I needed their help to train the guys if I wanted them to have their best chance, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Honestly, I hate it.
I hate seeing them so fucking often. Hate how much they are helping them.
Watching them get along makes my chest hurt, wishing life were so easy, while knowing I can’t and won’t trust them, despite them being everything I ever hoped for.
It’s confusing, to say the least, but while we train, I do my best to push those thoughts aside.
This is simply business, time spent together based on necessity, not leisure.
Dom looks up, and like a homing device, his eyes lock on mine. I force myself to hold his gaze, unwilling to back down, no matter how uncomfortable this might be.
Whatever he was looking for, he doesn’t find, and I see the disappointment written on his face before he looks away. It shouldn’t matter to me, but my stomach still ties itself into a knot, knowing I'm the cause of it.
“Alright, so what do you think about doing sparring practice today, Jay-Jay?” Leo asks with a smile, and I roll my eyes.
Zander barks a laugh as he walks past him, clapping him on the shoulder. “You need to work on your nicknames, man. That was terrible.”
“No, it wasn’t. Jady was terrible. I rather like Jay-Jay,” he says with a fake pout before he shoves Zander. They both laugh as they continue giving one another a hard time and play-fighting, looking like they’ve been friends their whole lives.
Zander could get along with anyone. That's just who he is, but he could just as easily stab that person in the next moment. Times like this make me wish he wasn’t such a people person.
They make it look so easy.
“Sparring is probably the best bet. That way, we can gauge each person's skill one-on-one and see what else we need to work on,” Dom says, and I give a nod, keeping my eyes on Leo and Zan as they continue to wrestle. A firm squeeze of my hand centers me again, and I look up to find Jake watching me. He has that knowing look in his eyes that tells me I’m not hiding my feelings very well right now.
It’s pathetic. My whole life, I’ve hidden everything, but somehow to these guys, I’m an open fucking book, whether I like it or not. Jake doesn’t say anything, simply offering me the comfort of his presence. At least he isn’t going to call me out for my shit right now.
With a deep breath, I turn back to Dom. “How do you think we should pair off?” I ask him.
It might bug me, but he knows what he’s doing and will make the best calls.
I might be able to handle myself, but I’ve never trained anyone before.
Could I figure it out without them? Probably, but why do that and waste time? We don’t have enough as it is.
“Let’s start with Leo and Rick and go from there.”
I look to Rick at Dom’s suggestion to see if he’s okay with it. He nods his approval before heading to the mat as Leo skips to join him.
I have a feeling it’s going to be a long day.
Rick fights Leo, and Leo wins, but it’s close as hell.
A lot closer than it would have been before we started training them.
After that, Dom faces Jake. Dom pretty much kills him, but considering Jake’s complete lack of skill when we started, his growth is still solid.
I face Trent, and surprisingly, he puts up a lot more resistance than I thought he would.
Of course, I still put him on his ass, but it wasn’t as quick as I thought it would be.
Spencer and Leo’s spar takes a lot longer than anyone else’s.
Spencer is all about information, which makes him quick to watch and understand, and with these last few weeks of training, he’s been paying attention.
For a second, I thought he might actually win, but just as quickly as Spencer had the upper hand, Leo turned the tables.
I see Spencer’s frustration, and I know the feeling, but considering the fact that Leo and Dom were raised in this life, he did great.
I don’t bother telling him, though. I know he won’t believe me, thinking I’m trying to spare his feelings.
He’ll see soon enough. It won’t take long before he fights Leo and wins.
“Zander,” Dom calls to him as he heads to the mats, and Zander’s face falls into a pout.
“Aww, I wanted to fight Doll,” he whines as he walks, dragging his feet toward Dom, and I shake my head.
Even in the most serious situations, he finds a way to have fun.
I know it drives the others crazy sometimes, but honestly, it’s one of my favorite things about him.
It’s so refreshing to be able to laugh and enjoy things when everything in our lives is so serious.
Kratos’s hand closes over his shoulder as he walks past, stopping him. I worry he’s going to give him shit at first until I see the way his eyes are laser-focused on Dom.
Shit.
“I’d like to see you verse Jade as well.
You’re both quick and small, so that will be your best bet to see how you fare.
I’ll take Dom,” he says, raising a brow as he turns to Dom in challenge, as if daring him to say otherwise.
Zander stands frozen for a moment, looking between the two of them, unsure what to do before he turns to me for answers.
This has been coming for a while now. I’m genuinely surprised Kratos was able to let it go for as long as he did, but this really is the perfect time.
A way for him to get to Dom without fucking everything up.
If I stop this now, it will just be worse later.
No, it’s better to let them do it now while we’re around in hopes that if something goes wrong, we can step in.