Chapter 57
Spencer carries me down the hall pressed tight to his chest, and I let myself relax into him, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
Who would have thought we would end up here?
Not me, that’s for sure. No, I would have put money on us fucking and him going right back to his usual dickhead self.
At the time, I thought I was okay with that, or at least I told myself I was.
I was wrong, though. Every one of my guys gives me something different, and I don’t know how to explain it, but without one of them, I’d be incomplete.
Some might call it greedy, but I have no intention of losing a single one of them.
I need them. No matter how much I never wanted to need anyone, I know it’s true.
The rest of the guys follow as Spencer takes a set of stairs I missed earlier down to what I expect to be a basement.
I should have known better after what I’d seen in the rest of the house, though.
The stairs end, opening into a huge room with pools, a waterfall, and a few tables and chairs scattered around.
It looks like a resort more than a house's lower level, and not for the first time, I find myself wondering just how much money my parents must have.
A number I can’t even fathom, I’m sure.
Spencer turns down a hallway tucked past the stairs.
It’s lined with doors that remind me of the rooms upstairs.
Each room has large windows built into the wall, letting me peer in as we pass.
One has large chairs with tiny tubs at the foot of them, while another has wooden benches running the length of each wall.
Every single one of them is empty, though.
I hear the beeping before we reach the door at the end of the hall. The sound rings in my ears, loud and familiar. Not long ago, I’d been hooked up to machines that sounded the same, and I know Dom sits on the other side of the door.
Anticipation and worry run through me. Threatening to choke the air from my lungs as I wait, frozen in Spencer's arms, to see my brother.
I wanted to hate him. I’d spent the last few months convincing myself that nothing he could do would change how I felt about him. Nothing could erase the betrayal I felt when he told me he was the family I’d always dreamed of having.
I was lying.
Tubes run from monitors to Dom’s hand, chest, and nose, disappearing under the sheet.
The blanket that covers him stops just below his shoulders, but even without a shirt on, most of him is covered in gauze.
His face is peaceful in a way I’ve never really seen it, and a pang of guilt sours my stomach knowing I’m so much of his stress.
He spent so much time looking for me, only to find me, and have me decide I wanted nothing to do with him.
“Svet…Jade.” A woman says the moment Spencer opens the door. Her voice rings with the hint of an accent, but I guess that makes sense, considering where we are.
She’d been seated next to Dom’s bed a moment ago, but as soon as her eyes fell to mine, she stood, pushing out of her chair so fast that she stumbled before catching herself. If the slip of the name wasn’t enough to tell me who she is, the fact that I look just like her does it.
“How is he?” I ask, unable to worry about anything else until I know.
“Oh, um. He’s stable now, but the doctor wants to keep him out at least until the end of the week. The bullet hit his shoulder and went right through his scapula before exiting. It was a clean shot through and through.”
Something about the way she says it doesn’t sound like good news, though.
“His scapula splintered from the impact. It wasn’t a break, though, so it went unnoticed.
The bullet nicked an artery on entry, and he’d lost a lot of blood.
Once both of you were stable, we flew you hom—here.
We flew you here for our doctors to keep an eye on you.
Sometime during that transfer, the splinter shifted and punctured his lung. ”
“How long have we been here?”
“Three days. The doctor will be here soon to take the tube from his chest, but he will remain induced until the end of the week to give him time to heal properly.”
The way she looks at me tells me she has more to say, but she doesn’t voice it. That’s probably for the best right now. I’m not sure what else I can handle at the moment.
“Where’s Leo?” I ask
“Leonid is out with…” She hesitates a moment, watching me as if unsure how to answer. “Your father. They had some things to handle now with Ivan’s death. They should be back later tonight.”
Her hesitation makes sense the second she says, Father. I guess there’s not much else she could call him, but it’s definitely weird.
Does she know that I killed Ivan? Does she know what Ivan had done?
I can’t be sure. She doesn’t look at me for long, her eyes jumping around the room, to the guys, and her emotions seem to vary based on that.
When she looks at the guys, her eyes are hard; when she looks down, she almost looks uncomfortable; and when she looks at me…
I’m not sure what the emotion in her eyes is, but she doesn’t look at me like I’m a monster.
“If you're hungry, I can have one of the chefs make something.” Her face looks so hopeful that I almost agree, but Rick has other plans.
“I’ll cook for her,” he says, and I watch her eyes harden as she turns her attention to him. The smile still sits on her lips, but now it looks forced.
Huh, I guess she doesn’t like Rick.
“Nonsense. Svetl—Jade needs balanced meals to regain her strength. Our chefs are the best of the best and…” I hold up my hand, and her words trail off.
“I appreciate that, but I’d rather not eat food from a stranger right now.”
Or ever again.
I look at Rick, who stands back by the door. “Besides, I’m not sure anyone can cook better than Roderick,” I say, winking at him over Spencer's shoulder and watching as his eyes smile even as his face remains blank, and he shakes his head at me.
It’s not a lie, though. His cooking is fantastic, and I really don’t trust anyone else right now. Not even my parents and their fancy chefs.
No, the guys, Dom and Leo, are the only ones who have earned that.
“Oh, of course. Help yourself to whatever you need. Should you need anything that isn’t here, let me know, and I'll have it delivered,” she tells me with a smile, but it’s a lie. Her eyes are sad as she watches me before she looks back down at Dom.
I can’t imagine what she must be going through.
To lose both of her children, only to have them both near death once they return.
I’d dreamed of a family until the day that dream turned bitter, and I learned to save myself, but life isn’t black and white the way I thought it was.
My parents didn't give me up or sell me off.
I was taken from them, and from everything Leo and Dom have told me, it tore them apart.
Once upon a time, we had all been happy. It’s hard to imagine now, but I know it’s true. I see the deep sadness on her face, the same way I saw it on Dom’s and eventually Leo’s.
“Thank you, Mother,” I say, forcing the words out past the lump in my throat. The word is foreign and leaves a weird taste in my mouth, and I feel Spencer's fingers dig into my thigh in concern, but I shake him off.
Her head snaps up so fast it looks as though it might have been painful, but the smile on her face is bright as she stares back at me with open, honest eyes.
“It’s good to have you home, my dear,” she says, her voice wobbling as tears fill her eyes, but she doesn’t let them fall. Instead, she takes a deep breath to compose herself.
“Go, go. You must be starved, and we have plenty of time to catch up later,” she says, waving us off as she once again sits in the chair next to Dom’s bed, reaching out to hold his hand.
Spencer stands waiting as I look down at him, unwilling to take orders from my mother, no matter who she is, and I almost laugh at his show of loyalty. To stand against the queen of the Bratva isn’t a joke, but I appreciate it all the same.
I turn to Spencer, opening my mouth to ask him something, but no words come out, and I’m forced to close it once again. My emotions are all over the place right now, and I can feel my control slowly slipping.
Thankfully, he seems to understand what I need, even without my being able to explain it. Taking a step forward, he leans down so that I’m close to the head of Dom’s bed. Hesitantly, I reach out, but I freeze just before I touch him, my hand hovering in the air between us, unsure what to do or say.
“You two were always so close. I knew that if anyone could bring you home, it would be him, but it was hard to watch him go. I wasn’t sure if he would ever return, and after we lost you…
” I don’t need to look up to know emotions clog her throat.
I hear them in every word. “I should have believed in him more, the same way he always believed in you,” she says with a sniffle as I keep my eyes carefully on Dom.
My vision blurs, and when I blink to clear it, I can feel the tears that escape, rolling down my cheek, but I make no move to wipe them away.
Dom didn’t deserve this. Didn’t deserve to have a sister who wanted to blame him for everything that went wrong in our lives.
But he wanted me anyway and was willing to live and die to save me.
He deserves so much better than me, then this. I can’t change that, but I can change us. I can let him in.
It seems a small price to pay compared to what he gave up. And so I let my tears fall, mourning the loss of the years we could have had, the life we could have lived, and all the shit we had to deal with getting here.
To a place where we can heal and grow. With my tears, I let the hate I was desperate to hold on to finally slip away.
“Get better, большой брат.” It’s not what I want to say, but he should probably be awake for that because I’m not sure I’ll be able to say it twice.