The Assassin
Rarely did I feel like strangling Maria. But, walking in and seeing Simone sitting beside her with her nose deep in a book made the thought cross my mind.
When I’d stepped out to grab dinner, this was the last thing I expected to come back to.
Simone didn’t even glance up at the sound of my footsteps in the hall. Her eyes remained trained on the words on the page.
Maria did though, a smirk tugging at her lips.
“Kitchen,” I hissed. “Now.”
Maria slid her laptop off her lap and hopped up off the couch. She grabbed the takeout bag out of my hands as she passed and led me into the kitchen.
“Didn’t I tell you not to let her out,” I scolded once we were out of Simone’s earshot.
Sorry, I missed the part where you’re the boss of me, she signed after setting the food down on the counter. She opened the bag and started rummaging through the white boxes inside.
“She could’ve ran.”
She plucked out the ones labeled with her usual order. But she didn’t. And I saved you from getting clocked in the head with a lamp. Be grateful.
I shook my head. “Is she okay?”
She gathered her containers underneath an arm so she could still use her hands. Talk to her and find out. She pressed her index finger against my chest as she passed. And be nice this time.
With that, she walked out the kitchen and made a beeline for her room.
Sighing, I headed back into the living room.
Leaning my shoulder against the doorway, I watched Simone for a few moments.
She looked so at ease on our couch. Her legs curled up under her and her elbow on the armrest like she used to sit at her old home.
It wasn’t much, but it was a little sign that maybe she could see this - us - as her new home.
“I brought your favorites,” I told her. “Sesame chicken, shrimp egg roll and pork fried rice.”
“I’m not hungry,” she muttered, her eyes still fixed on her book.
“We’ve talked about this, Simone. You’ve gotta eat.”
“And I will. After I finish this chapter.”
I clenched my jaw, pressing down on the rumbling lid holding my patience. “Simone-“
“Can you just leave me alone?” She said, finally raising her eyes. A light layer of moisture coated them. She quickly looked back down so I wouldn’t notice. “Please.”
I straightened up to walk towards her. Stopping in front of her, I lowered to my haunches and set a hand on her book. I gently pushed it down while my other hand grasped her chin and pulled her head up. “I’m sorry,” I said. “About earlier. I shouldn’t have locked you away like that.”
Her brows twitched, threatening to turn upwards. But she didn’t respond. She stayed quiet, waiting for me to continue.
“Its just…you’re…you’re a ghost now. You can’t go making reckless decisions and exposing yourself - or worse: actually dying. I…I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if anything were to happen to you.”
“Why?” She croaked. “Why do you care so much?”
“Jesus, Simone,” I said, rising up. “Stop asking me shit you already know.”
“But I don’t!” She retorted, standing as well. “Not unless you tell me.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I don’t…I can’t…talk about my emotions.”
She lay her hands on my face, cupping it. “Try,” she encouraged. Her brown eyes softened as the walls shielding them lowered. Bouncing between mine, they reached into my soul, blindly searching for the treasure hidden in the depths of it.
I wanted to grab handfuls and shower her in it. But the diamonds have gone dull and the gold coins have lost their shine. It’d be like throwing rocks instead of riches at her. She deserved so much better than that.
Leaning in, I kissed her as a substitute for the words I couldn’t give her. Through my lips, I tried to show my passion, my devotion - my unwavering affection for her. Hoped she’d feel the heat of it rushing through her veins as our bodies flushed together and our tongues collided.
For a moment, she melted against me, and it seemed like she did. She clutched onto me as if someone were trying to drag me away, looping her arms around my shoulders and digging her nails into my neck.
But only for a moment.
Her body froze the second she realized what I was doing - realized she may never get the words she was looking for. A frown was plastered on her lips when she pulled away. Her brows pinched as she took me in, finally seeing the broken mess that I was.
I’d prefer pity over the veil of empathy that covered her face. If she felt bad, there was a stronger chance she’d leave this alone. But since she was trying to understand, I knew she was never going to let this go.
“Eat dinner with me,” I told her. “We can eat in bed, watch mindless reality television, maybe fool around a little. What do you say?”
A tiny smile appeared on her lips as she nodded. “Thank you,” she said.
“For…?”
“For trying.” She rose on her toes to peck a kiss on my lips. “Now, come on. I’m actually starving.”
Heat bloomed in my chest, like a flower sprouting in the middle of the desert, as she started tugging me into the kitchen.
My first instinct was to stomp on it until the fire went out, but another part of me - the one trapped deep inside - reached through the bars of its prison and welcomed the warmth.