Chapter 5 Nightmares and Nocturnal Adventures
Nightmares and Nocturnal Adventures
I jolt awake, my shirt sweat-soaked and my heart pounding furiously.
Blinking into the dark room, I gasp for air and fight to separate reality from the cloying nightmare that’s trying to pull me back in.
Fuck. It’s been decades since I’ve had one.
Not since I was a young boy, new to the Guild.
Lots of us had them, and for me, the frequency wasn’t as bad as it was for some of the others.
Unfortunately, it seems with my return to Amagi, the nightmares have come back as well, no doubt stirred up by old feelings.
Fucking hells, there are days I’m tired of it all.
Why couldn’t I just let it go, stay on Earth with Val, and pretend to be ordinary?
There was a peacefulness in being mundane.
Or at least in pretending to be. In not being owned by the Shabah or expected to carry out assassinations at their behest. The edges of the nightmare try to take hold again.
I see Kas’s beautiful face and hear his laughter echoing in my ears.
Even after five years, the pain of his loss cuts through my heart like the dagger that stopped his.
I take several calming breaths, carefully sheathing the bare blades gripped tightly in my hands. Wiping the sweat from my face, I kick the blankets aside and swing my legs around to sit on the edge of the bed.
Being in this room isn’t helping. Kas had been the one to find the place.
We’d used it when we needed somewhere private, away from the Guild, so we could plan or be together.
It doesn’t have much to distinguish it from any other inn.
It’s truly unremarkable in every way—the Earth equivalent of a roadside motel that’s one step above a rent-by-the-hour place.
What limited food it offers is average, and the clientele are mostly hard-working merchants and travelers with enough money to avoid seedier accommodations but not enough to stay in the less run-down areas closer to the city center.
The innkeeper is a bit of a prick, but that’s nothing new.
He pays his tithe to the government on time and doesn’t call attention to himself or his establishment.
And he doesn’t put up with troublemakers.
On the whole, the place is bland and forgettable, which was exactly what we needed then and exactly what I need now.
That settles a whole new layer of guilt on my shoulders.
Here I am, safely hidden from the Guild’s notice because of Kas’s foresight, when he’s dead because of me.
Damn, is it any wonder I’m having nightmares?
With a flick of my fingers, I light the bedside lamp, then stand, raising my arms above my head.
I stretch, focusing on easing tight muscles and not on the disturbing images clawing at the edges of my mind.
“Regrets do nothing but cause pain and hinder focus.” It was one of the first lessons we learned as Shadows.
Right after “Win your fight or die trying.” That one we understood almost immediately.
With the Shabah, you learn from your mistakes or die.
It’s brutal but effective training and still serves me well.
Even after Kas’s death. Perhaps especially after that.
When I realized what I’d done, I could have given up, ended my own life, the two of us together even in that useless act.
Instead, I chose to live and make things right. Or die trying.
I drop my arms to my sides and sigh. “Fucking hells.” My voice is loud in the quiet room.
“This is unproductive.” I yank off my sweaty nightclothes and toss them onto the lone chair, my feet barely making noise on the smooth wooden planks of the floor as I cross the small space.
I will avenge Kas’s death by making those truly responsible pay with their lives.
When I’m done, the very foundation of the Shabah will be decimated.
I step into the closet of a bathroom, run water into the shallow porcelain basin, and stare at myself in the mirror.
My short black hair is damp with sweat, my dark olive skin, usually glowing with health, is pale, and my dark brown eyes are tired.
No surprise there. I am tired. Leaning over the basin, I gently splash my face with water, clearing the last vestiges of the nightmare.
The sliver of sky I can see through the room’s small window is black.
Dawn is still a few hours off, but I’m too awake to go back to sleep.
And I don’t want to risk another nightmare.
So I clean my teeth, turn on the shower, and step under the spray.
The soap is scented with lavender and rosemary, and I work the bar into a lather, washing and rinsing my hair before using a cloth to scrub away the sweat and stickiness still clinging to my body.
The lavender is calming, and the rough square of fabric is invigorating, leaving my skin tingling and my mind focused.
I rinse and dry myself with a thin towel, then dress in a fresh shirt and pants.
As I sit at the table to pull on my boots, the small, leather-encased mirror in my pocket warms. I extract it and stare into the glass, activating the magic.
The face of Kenji Nishiyama, infamous spymaster Uguisu, appears.
“Good day, friend.” Kenji’s dark eyes sparkle with laughter, knowing the time difference and what hour it must be here.
“It’s nighttime here, and I was asleep.”
They grin unrepentantly. “And now you are awake.”
Just to be contrary, I frown at them. “A true friend would have waited for a more reasonable hour to reach out. To what do I owe this middle-of-the-night contact?”
Kenji sobers. “I have information.”
“One moment.” I cast Silence to block any eavesdroppers. “Okay. Go ahead.”
“Your plan will be more dangerous than anticipated. There are more guilds involved, and the treachery goes higher than we thought. It is all I am comfortable saying when we are not in person. Find verification. You know where.” Their shoulders sag and a lock of their black hair slips over their silk-clad shoulder to hang loosely down their chest. “And I am sorry, but I cannot help you with that, no matter how much I wish I could.”
Fucking hells. That’s not the news I was hoping for. “Understood. It’ll mean a delay, but it can’t be helped.” I smile, even though the news only adds to my weariness. “Thank you, my friend. I appreciate the warning.”
“Take care, Zayd. You are willingly throwing yourself into the viper pit. Please stay alert. I will help where I can.”
They don’t wait to say goodbye, and the mirror goes dark. Their message is disappointing but not unexpected. Not with the rot spreading through the Guild. And based on what Kenji said, it goes even higher than that.
Disgusted, I shove the mirror into my pocket.
I’d suspected that more than the guild masters were involved, but Kenji’s confirmation helps.
And I do know where I’ll find the proof.
The Vault of the Shabah is where the Guild keeps their dirty little secrets—signed contracts, deadly poison recipes, blackmail files, secret histories, and their most powerful onyx gemstones.
If it still exists, the contract for Kas’s death will be there, with the names and signatures of everyone involved.
I groan inwardly, thinking of the planning it will take to make this happen.
The Vault is an actual Shabah fortress, protected by a variety of magical and mundane traps designed to kill intruders in the most painful ways.
I’d hoped that, in their capacity as Uguisu, Kenji could have found the details I need so I wouldn’t have to break in. Now it’s time for a change in plans.
There are one or two relatively safe places I can hunt for more information, even at this early hour.
Glancing at the rumpled bed, I push to my feet.
Anything is preferable to finding myself in the middle of another nightmare.
If I can’t get useful information from my sources, maybe I can find a warm, willing body to help keep the bad dreams at bay.
I’d like to avoid reliving the worst moment of my admittedly violent thirty-seven years if I can help it.
Grabbing my cloak, I settle it around my shoulders and extinguish the light as I leave the room, careful to securely close and ward the door behind me.
Maybe it’s out of habit learned on Earth, where my magic was significantly diminished, or maybe I’m being overly cautious, but I take the time to wedge small markers inconspicuously around the door.
If anyone tries to enter my room while I’m out, and they make it past the wards, the small markers will slip to the floor.
It’ll be enough warning that someone was in my room, and could possibly help me avoid a trap, magical or otherwise.
I step back, check my handiwork, making sure nothing looks out of place, then slip down the hall to the rear staircase and exit the inn through a back door.