Chapter 14 Secrets Shared
Secrets Shared
With practice, I keep my heart rate steady and my breathing even, but beneath the surface, I’m waging a battle between habits that have kept me safe most of my life and taking a step closer to the person I think I might want to be.
Someone more open and honest, free of the past and the taint of the corrupt Shabah.
A detached calm settles over me, as if I’m standing on the opposite side of the balcony, watching things unfold rather than trying to carefully choose my words.
“I used to be part of a Shabah unit. They’re not common; we usually work alone.
Kas and I trained together, ate together, shared assignments.
” I pause and stare out over the peaceful garden, remembering Kas, every beautiful detail painfully clear.
His light brown curls and warm olive skin.
The easy way we worked in tandem, fighting or fucking, like we were one person, not two.
The soft caress of his lips, the firm grip of his hand, how our bodies fit perfectly even with our height difference.
My chest aches with the memory, but my voice remains steady, almost flat.
“No one could touch us. We were invincible. Or we thought we were.” My mind helpfully shows me Kas’s wide-eyed shock and disbelief, the flash of betrayal, and then understanding and acceptance, all milliseconds apart.
“Very powerful people wanted to ensure that their associates came to power.” Rage consumes me as I think about the reasons Kas is dead and how little it matters to anyone but me.
“Those same people still want that. We were given an assignment. Told it had to be ours. No one else could complete the contract. We followed through unquestioningly, as we always did. As we’d been trained to do.
” I dig my nails into my palm. “After”—I struggle for words—“much later, I found out that we’d been sent into a trap.
I watched my best friend, my love, die because of greed and ambition.
” I remember Kas’s soft smile as he looked up at me.
The light fading from his eyes as he died in my arms. “He accepted his death. Like he had any choice. His sacrifice was required solely to further the political gain of people who only see us as tools.” I press Nico’s hand to my chest, reminding him of the mark.
“Kas is the beautiful, intricate, pristine dagger. And I’m the dark blade, devoid of beauty, dripping with innocent blood. ”
“What did you do?”
“I ran. I left Amagi. Everything I thought I knew was in question. Our Guild had targeted us, something I’d never imagined happening, something that went against the very foundation of our code. I was shaken to my core, Kas was dead, and it was my fault.”
Nico’s brows draw down. “How was it your fault?”
“I should have known it was a trap. My gut told me something was off. The assignment was too easy. Any Shade could have accomplished it, so there was no reason to give it to us. It was also pointless. A political contract taken against a coven leader who had already announced they were stepping back, leaving government life. I had all the pieces but couldn’t make them fit because I never imagined the Guild would betray us.
Not when we’d always done everything they’d asked without question. They were family.”
With his free hand, Nico strokes his thumb over my cheek, and I lean into it, grateful for the grounding touch. “What happened?”
I furrow my brow, recalling that horrible moment in a Panah City back alley.
“Something wasn’t sitting right with me, and I shared my worries with Kas.
We decided to go to ground and think the situation through—see what we could uncover on our own.
When the Guild didn’t hear from us, and the target was still alive, they sent a Specter to track us.
If he found us, he was to bring us back for punishment.
If we refused, he had orders to kill us.
” I smile ruefully, remembering Leonardo’s taunts.
“We declined to return, and he eagerly attacked. It was odd because he focused on Kas. He would only attack me if I attacked him, and I was very much trying to do that. But it was clear he meant to take Kas out first.” I pause, skipping over the brutal details of the fight.
It’s not anything Nico needs to know, and nothing I want to relive. “Unfortunately, he succeeded.”
Nico frowns. “You have no idea why they targeted him?”
Do I tell him what I learned from my visit to the Vault? What if knowing Kasimir was his cousin changes things between us? When did I start thinking of an ‘us’? And why doesn’t that disturb me as much as it should? “Not at the time.”
“But you do now.”
It’s not a question, but I nod anyway. “Kasimir Novak was the unrecognized son of Lorenzo Medina.” Nico’s eyes widen. “And since Lorenzo has no other children that we know of—recognized or not—it would have made Kas his heir.” I wait for the pieces to fall into place, and it doesn’t take long.
“His heir. Which would have made me—”
I watch him warily, not sure what reaction to anticipate. “Not the heir any longer.”
He shakes his head. “No. It would make me free. I would no longer have different political groups pressuring me to leave the Ruby Guild and follow my uncle into politics.” His gaze grows sad but my gut tightens.
Pressuring him. Present tense. “I might have had a friend. Family. Someone blood-related who cared for me.”
“Oh, Nico.” A brilliant stab of pain flares in my chest. I grip the back of his neck, bringing our foreheads together.
“For what it’s worth, I believe you would have loved each other.
” In small ways, they’re very much alike.
And where once that would have brought me pain, now it’s an incredible comfort.
He gently presses his forehead against mine before pulling back. “But why kill him?”
“I wondered about that, so I contacted a friend who deals in this kind of information.” After giving them the details, Kenji was able to tap into their network of spies and gather the missing pieces.
“According to the contract taken out on him, Kas supposedly had developed political ambitions and allied himself with one of the politically inclined covens.” Over the past few years, several of the local covens have been very vocal about fighting for more support for the common witch.
“You know, protections for the non-magical, and better access to guild and coven training for all citizens, regardless of ancestry or socio-economic conditions.”
Nico snorts. “So the opposite of everything my uncle wants.”
“Exactly. But that wasn’t Kas. I mean, he believed in all those things, but he had no more political ambition than you do.
Maybe less. What my friend discovered is that this coven learned who Kas was and wanted him to openly oppose his father.
As far as I know, they never contacted him.
But Lorenzo learned about it and had Kas eliminated as a threat to his plans. ”
Nico wipes his hand down his face and shakes his head. “Founder. What a mess.” It’s a gross understatement but true enough. “So if they sent an assassin for both of you, how did you escape?”
“Truthfully, I’m not sure. Instinct or years of training?
Somehow, even through my grief, I managed to cobble together a plan.
I led Leonardo further onto the docks, near the water, and let him get under my guard.
When he stabbed me, I turned enough that the wound wasn’t fatal.
But he couldn’t be sure. I fell backward into the lake, casting a spell to make it sound like I’d hit my head on the edge of a boat before disappearing under the surface.
I held my breath and swam until my lungs burned and I couldn’t go any further.
After that, hiding was easy, but I knew that without a body to show, they’d continue to hunt for me. ”
I squeeze my eyes closed and experience the gut-wrenching grief all over again.
“We walked into a trap that I should have seen, and because I didn’t, Kas died.
And I desperately wanted to follow him.” Nico’s hand tightens on mine.
“Instead, I left his body, staged my own death, and stowed away in an extraction caravan headed to Earth. When they discovered me—who I was, what I was—some of them wanted to kill me. They thought I was a spy for the Shabah.” I shake my head.
“Then, by some miracle, an old friend showed up. He wouldn’t let them touch me.
He saw my condition—how broken I was.” There was such anger in Val’s eyes.
“He’d been in the Guild with us, and we’d come through the ranks together.
But where Kas and I stayed with the assassins, Val worked with the extraction missions, and we lost contact.
Honestly, I thought he’d died years before.
I told him everything, and he offered me a safe place to recover.
“ I’m still a bit awed by the trust he showed me.
“I went there to die and instead found freedom, purpose, and some extraordinary friends. They helped me heal and gave me a way to use my skills for a better objective.”
I finally look into Nico’s silver-gray eyes, fully expecting to see pity or contempt. Instead, there’s compassion and empathy. Nico’s soothing voice anchors me, pulling me out of those dark memories. “May I ask you something?”
“You mean something more? You’ve already been asking questions.” I attempt a smile. “Ask, though I might not answer.”
“Understandable.” I try not to show how much I’m dreading his next words.
“Lorenzo is my uncle, but I swear I have no bureaucratic aspirations. I am a member of the Ruby Guild, not the Diamond Guild, and do not plan to pursue politics for my House. I have no ambition other than to make my own fortune in business.” I listen intently as my heart pounds.
“I tell you this so we are clear on my intentions and how I come by what information I may have.” Though I’ve loosened my grip, Nico hasn’t moved his hand.
It’s still resting over my heart, and I find it oddly comforting.
“I overheard a conversation between my uncle and my father. Well, it was an argument. After what you’ve told me, I believe it was after Kas was killed.
My father was furious, and there was shouting. ”
I steer the conversation to the original topic. “You said you had a question.”
Nico catches and holds my gaze. “Bello, are you Zayd al-Qadir?”
And there it is. Nico is too smart and well connected for his own good, or mine, and it might get us both killed.
“Careful, Nico. Speaking that name out loud has consequences, even for someone as well connected as a Medina. If the Shabah believe I’m still alive, they won’t rest until there is proof of my death. ”
His steely gaze snaps to mine, and his voice holds complete conviction. “Then we give them no reason to question the history they already believe.”
“I don’t want to drag you into this. It has nothing to do with you.”
He shakes his head firmly. “It has everything to do with me. Or almost everything. My uncle. My cousin. My family. And I would bet my last coin that you are not working from a sanctioned contract. You are on your own and taking on some very powerful people. And from what I now know, they deserve their fate. I have the resources to help you, and I want to. Please, Bello, let me do this.”
And what do I say to that? He knows almost all of my secrets. There’s no judgement in his gaze, no recriminations or castigations. I gently cup his face, lightly brushing my fingertips across his cheek and lips, nodding almost imperceptibly.
He takes my hand, his eyes glowing, and softly kisses my palm. “Is that a yes?”
“Founder help me. Yes.”