17. Deke
It was hot. No, he was hot, burning up from the inside like his blood was made of fire. His muscles ached. His bones ached. His head pounded and his mouth was desert dry, his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth, his throat raw. Even his teeth hurt. A restlessness ran just under his skin...this instinct telling him to move, to run. Was he dying?
Death seemed preferable to whatever this was.
He needed to open his eyes, look around, scream for help, maybe. But no matter how he tried, his body wouldn’t cooperate. There was only darkness. His breathing grew shallow, his heart racing. Was this sleep paralysis? A coma? Some kind of symptom brought on by a fever?
He faded in and out of a fitful sleep, hoping with each moment of waking that this would be the time he could force his eyes open. It felt like days before he finally drifted to consciousness, forcing open weighted eyelids, wincing at the knife-sharp spike of sunlight searing his retina, blinding him for a few precious seconds. He was still so hot. He blinked sweat from his eyes, struggling to put the pieces of his memory together.
He remembered curling up on the theater couch to watch Ollie run the meeting. He must have dozed off at some point. Maybe he was sick. The flu maybe? It fit his symptoms—his clammy skin, fatigued muscles, sluggish movements. He took in the room, desperate for any context clues.
He was in Ollie’s bed, lying on now sweat-soaked sheets. What time was it? Had Ollie left? Had he missed his chance to say goodbye? Somehow, that thought was more painful than the blinding headache. Deke had spent his whole morning wallowing in his sadness. And now, Ollie was gone.
He tried to push himself up, but his body rebelled, the world spinning. He dropped back onto the mattress, taking a few deep breaths before he slowly rolled over. He sucked in a sharp breath. Ollie. He lay on his side, one hand beneath his cheek, the other splayed on the bed before him, sleeping peacefully. He was naked but for a thin sheet tangled around his legs, revealing a flat tummy and the jut of one hip bone.
Deke swallowed the lump in his throat, his gaze drifting from Ollie’s messy brown hair and sculpted brows to almond-shaped eyes framed by long pale lashes. He had pretty skin and pretty lips, and Deke just wanted to taste them, taste Ollie. All of him.
He hesitated before letting his eyes drop lower. Despite sleeping together for days, Deke had only caught glimpses of Ollie’s body. A bit of his back as he pulled on a shirt, a hint of abs when he raised his arms. But now, he could look his fill. So, he did. Ollie was fit, lean, his arms thicker than one might imagine, chest and belly toned, the deep vee of his hips prominent, but not overly so. Deke wanted to run his tongue along those grooves, wanted to follow the trail of reddish hair that started just beneath his belly button and disappeared under the low slung sheet.
He blamed his mystery illness for how long it took him to ask the obvious question. Why was Ollie naked? Why was Deke only in his black boxer briefs? Why was he almost naked? If he felt better, maybe the pieces would have snapped together to form some type of picture, but nothing made sense in his muddled brain. One item did stand out, though. The bottle on Ollie’s nightstand.
Was that…lube?
Had something happened between them? He didn’t feel like anything had happened. Besides, Ollie was the consent king. He would never, even if Deke wanted him to. And he did, so badly. A whine slipped from his lips at the thought of having Ollie all to himself. He covered his mouth, studying his serene expression, making sure he hadn’t woken him. Not yet.
How long had Deke been unconscious? A few hours, at most. It was still daylight outside. Unless he’d been sleeping for days. Had Ollie missed his flight? Why did he feel like deep-fried garbage? Where was everyone else? He wanted answers, but not enough to attempt to sit up again. He opted to watch Ollie instead.
He was so pretty, all laid out for him like an offering. It would be so easy for Deke to close the distance, to lick his way inside Ollie’s mouth, swallow down his moans as he used him, ruined him. Deke was already hard. Had he woken up that way? He couldn’t even remember.
Do it. Take him, a voice nagged.
He frowned at the dark thought, already so loud in his head. The more he watched Ollie, the louder it grew, drowning out his own rational thoughts, replacing them with its own. He tried to hold onto that piece of himself that wasn’t a monster, but it was like a radio signal he just couldn’t quite tune, his sensible self fading in and out, leaving only a stranger’s voice that whispered disturbing thoughts into his head. Thoughts about Ollie.
He’s yours.
Take him.
He’s given himself to you.
Laid bare.
All for you.
The longer he listened, the more sensible the voice seemed. Ollie was right there, sleeping so soundly, lying naked beside him, and the lube was within reach. Deke was painfully hard now, his underwear uncomfortably tight as he watched Ollie with intent. He was so soft, so vulnerable.
So fuckable.
Deke didn’t realize he’d moved closer until Ollie’s hand was in his, until he’d pressed his nose to Ollie’s scent gland at his wrist, inhaling deeply. Ollie’s scent was incredible, like fresh ink on new paper, reminding Deke of used bookstores and freshly printed newspaper.
He watched, almost like an outsider, as he ran his palm along Ollie’s sheet-clad thigh, pleased when the beta shifted, his body rotating, opening himself up a little wider like he knew… He knew he was Deke’s.
See? He’s yours. Take him.
Deke forced his hand to a stop at the crease where leg met hip, nostrils flaring, cock throbbing as he pictured burying his face right there, inhaling Ollie’s scent where it was strongest. He bit off a groan as his fevered brain supplied image after image. Deke licking the salt from the beta’s skin, swallowing his cum as it flooded his mouth, the satisfying feeling of his teeth sinking into the flesh of Ollie’s thigh, making him scream as blood exploded on his tongue.
A low snarl left him, earning a distressed whine from a still-sleeping Ollie. The sound went straight to Deke’s leaking dick. What other sounds could he drag from the stoic beta? Would Ollie cry for him? Would he cry as he choked on his cock? He’d look so hot on his knees for Deke, those soft pink lips stretched obscenely around him, hot tears rolling down hollowed cheeks as Deke used his mouth.
Would Ollie let him knot his throat? Would he be good for him? Submit to him? Ollie was so reserved, so…dignified. Deke wanted to break him, wanted Ollie to submit completely.
To him.
Just him.
Betas could resist the call of an alpha if they tried, but Deke could overpower him, could hold him down and make him take what he was given. He’d look so pretty presenting for him, back arched, legs spread, head down, waiting to be bred. Deke needed it, needed him. Now.
It would be so easy.
He could slip off the sheet, put him on all fours, pin him down and force him onto his knot, put his pups into him. The snarl that left his lips this time dragged him from his stupor. Whatever this sickness was, it was eating at Deke’s sense of reality. Ollie was a beta, not an omega. And Deke was nothing.
Unpresented.
What the fuck was wrong with him? He shook his head, trying to wrestle control of his thoughts back from whatever virus had overtaken him. He needed to snap out of it. Maybe an icy shower would penetrate this bizarre fog of lust and power clouding his brain. He couldn’t think with this heat.
Ollie. He would know what to do.
“Ollie?” he rasped, parched. He reached out and gave him a gentle shake. “Ollie, wake up.” Was his voice shaking?
The beta blinked away his sleepiness, eyes clear, brows knitted together as he studied him. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Fuck, you look so flushed. Is it starting?”
Is it starting?
Is what starting?
Ollie didn’t wait for Deke’s answer; he just pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, then his cheeks. Deke couldn’t stop the low moan that escaped. Ollie’s hands were ice cold against his overheated skin. “Christ. You’re still burning up.”
He came up on his forearm, twisting to grab a water bottle from the same side table where Deke had seen the lube.
He cracked the top, then picked up a smaller amber-colored bottle, shaking four small pills into his hand. “Drink this. All of it. Swallow these, too.”
Deke nodded weakly, allowing Ollie to help him sit up enough to do as he’d asked. Once he’d drained the bottle and swallowed the meds, Ollie took it back, tossing it to the side, before helping Deke settle against the pillow.
“What’s happening to me? I don’t feel right.”
Ollie pushed wet bangs off Deke’s forehead. “You’re presenting…as an alpha.”
Hearing Ollie say it out loud made it seem obvious. But he shook his head, rejecting the idea. “No. No way. This can’t be pre-rut. I’ve seen my brothers go into rut before. Hundreds of times. Pre. During. Post. It’s nothing like this. Not even when they presented. Something’s wrong, Ollie. Something’s wrong with me. I’m…defective.”
Ollie gave him that patient look, the one San said he saved only for Deke.
“Shh,” he said, dragging Deke into his arms and tucking him beneath his chin. “You are not. Don’t say that.”
Deke winced. How could Ollie stand hugging him when he was like this? It must feel like hugging the sun. “Don’t,” he protested weakly. “I’m all gross. I’ll make you all gross, too.”
“I’m pretty sure we’re going to have to burn these sheets when this is over anyway,” Ollie said, amused.
Why was he taking this so…casually?
Because he doesn’t know the twisted thoughts running rampant in your head.If he did, he’d bolt from the room and never look back.
“Wait. Why are you still here?” he asked, the knife-sharp pain of rejection piercing a little too deep. “D-Did the others change their mind? A-About helping me? Did you get stuck with me?”
Cool lips pressed against Deke’s forehead. “Don’t be stupid. I chose to stay.”
Deke’s eyelids fluttered, hyper-focused on Ollie’s hand now tracing soothing patterns onto the bare skin of his hip. “Why?”
Ollie laughed softly. “I thought you wanted me to stay?” he asked, tone teasing.
Deke ignored the question. Ollie had to know he would always be Deke’s first choice. In anything. “But what about your flight? You wanted to go home. To your…plants and y-your job,” Deke said, hating how sulky and childish he sounded.
He wasn’t the only one displeased. That voice in his head—his inner alpha, he supposed—hated the civility of their conversation. He was tired of the niceties. He only cared about getting inside Ollie.
“You’re more important,” the beta said, so sincerely Deke wanted to cry.
Shame settled over him, thick and heavy. Had he gone into rut to keep Ollie close as some sort of subconscious manipulation tactic? How embarrassing. This was all so humiliating. His body was so dramatic.
“You stayed for me?” Deke asked, blood rushing in his ears as he nosed his way to Ollie’s scent gland, inhaling deeply, shuddering as the pain and cloudiness melted away. “You stayed for me,” he said again, just needing to hear it once more.
“Yeah,” Ollie murmured, fingers still sweeping soothingly over his hip. “I stayed for you.”
Claim him. Mate him. Breed him. He’s yours. He’s ours. Make him submit. Pin him down, sink your teeth into his neck, fuck him until his insides mold themselves around your knot, until he knows nobody else but you.
Deke tried to drown out the voice. His inner alpha was a douchebag. A rapey douchebag. Presenting was nothing like he’d thought it would be. He didn’t want to take Ollie by force. He’d read about ruts before, had heard his brothers slamming into walls and screaming from the other side of the door. He’d heard the snarling and growling as they fucked into their fist or a toy or whatever girl they’d brought home. But he’d never imagined it would be like this. This felt violent. Violating. What if he hurt him?
“I don’t like this…” Deke said faintly, lips moving against Ollie’s throat, every bit of their age difference obvious in that moment. His father would be humiliated by such a display. Presenting as an alpha while sniveling like a needy mess. If he hadn’t disowned him before, he would have now. “I’m sorry.”
Ollie’s fingers threaded through his hair, his other hand toying absently with the elastic band of his underwear. “Why are you apologizing? You definitely have it worse than any newly presenting alpha I’ve ever seen. We think maybe it’s the late presentation. Your body decided to give you five days of pre-rut all at once. But once your rut officially starts, all the bad stuff will shake off. Then you’ll be…”
“An uncontrollable sex monster who is rock hard thinking about how you’d look crying as I impale you on my knot?” Deke muttered, dick twitching with interest. “That sounds way better.”
Ollie’s chest bounced beneath him in a quiet laugh. “I wouldn’t be here if I thought I couldn’t handle it. It honestly sounds pretty hot. Also, I woke up a little earlier and uh…prepped.”
“Prepped?” Deke echoed, distracted as he rubbed his face all over Ollie’s scent gland.
“Uh, yeah. You know…fingered myself?” Ollie said, a hint of embarrassment creeping into his voice.
Deke made a needy sound, attaching his lips to Ollie’s skin, sucking hard enough to leave an angry welt when he pulled back. “That’s hot.”
Ollie chuckled again. “No matter how out of control you get, you’re not going to permanently injure me.”
“I don’t want to injure you at all,” Deke said, clinging tighter to Ollie.
His skin was an icy balm on Deke’s overheated body. He couldn’t stop clinging to him. His alpha wasn’t happy about his display of vulnerability either. It was like an animal paced inside him, agitated at Deke’s hesitancy to do what he was born to do.
“You’re not going to hurt me. I won’t let you,” Ollie promised.
Deke wanted to believe him. He did. But an alpha in rut could hurt anyone. They’d hurt omegas and they were designed to take an alpha’s knot. Oh, god. This sucked. This sucked so bad. Was he having a panic attack? Maybe he should find his phone and ask Seth?
He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, willing himself not to cry. What kind of alpha cried during sex? How did the universe think he was an alpha? Why couldn’t he have one thing that was normal? He’d spent years praying he’d finally present, hoping maybe that might make his dad and brothers like him. Well, not like him but…tolerate him?
Now, he’d gotten what he wanted and it sucked. Why had he thought being an alpha would be better? His family was hot garbage. He didn’t want this anymore. Return to sender. Make him a beta. Or an omega, like Seth and Fenny. They were so nice. And still badass. Or a beta like Ollie. Then he wouldn’t have to worry about hurting him. He couldn’t live with himself if he hurt Ollie.
“I’m serious, Deke. I’m not some delicate flower. You’re not going to hurt me.”
Deke shook his head. “You can’t promise something like that. Maybe it’s selfish to ask this of you.”
Ollie shook his head. “You didn’t ask. I volunteered. Besides”—he dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper—“don’t let this go to your head or anything, but your rut is so powerful, it’s got the others very worked up.”
Deke’s eyes went wide. “Really?”
Ollie nodded. “It’s best you stick with me. When I imagined your rut, I pictured it building up over a few days, giving the others a chance to adjust. I never thought your body would shoot straight to the main event. It’s got the others...”
“Horny?” Deke supplied.
“Times a thousand,” Ollie confirmed.
Deke shook his head. “But if the alphas are agitated, I wouldn’t be able to hurt them. That’s what you said. So, isn’t it better for Loch or Saint to do it?”
“Not if you trigger their ruts. Your first time would turn into a battle for dominance. They might hurt you. They’re older and stronger.”
“But what if you get hurt?” Deke said again.
Ollie’s chin pressed against Deke’s hair each time he spoke, voice borderline seductive as he teased, “I hate to burst your bubble…alpha, but you’re not the first knot I’ve taken.”
Deke snarled at that, teeth latching onto Ollie’s throat hard enough to drag a moan out of him, but not hard enough to break the skin—not hard enough to bond them for life. Much to his batshit crazy alpha’s dismay.
“Sorry,” he said, licking over the indentations carefully, the salty tang on Ollie’s skin making him squirm as he was now acutely aware of the strange sensation at the base of his dick. Some fragile part of himself hoped his body did what it needed to without any help from him. It would be super embarrassing if he didn’t know how to knot someone properly.
“Don’t apologize,” Ollie said, blunt nails dragging over his scalp. “Try to remember, I’m beta-o. I still have those omega traits lying dormant. Hot alphas biting me is kind of a kink deeply, deeply embedded in my DNA.”
On a surface level, Deke understood that. He did. He’d taken the anatomy classes. Betas had vestigial sex organs for alphas or omegas, but they lacked the genetic trigger that made them active instead of dormant.
Deke pulled back to search his face. “Really?”
Ollie gave him a patient look. “Do I ever lie to you?”
Deke flushed. “No.”
Betas had many other similar traits to the other secondary genders, only not as strong. Deke’s sex ed teacher had likened it to listening to the world with earplugs in. Their scent, their pull to command or obey, still existed, it was just…dampened.
It was why Ollie was able to stand up to Loch and the others. He wasn’t designed, by nature, to submit to their true alpha voice like Seth or Fenny. When an alpha confronted him, he wouldn’t need to cower or obey. Something unknotted in Deke. He couldn’t psychically manipulate the beta. He’d still have the capacity to resist, to refuse…to run if necessary.
“Then…believe me.”
Ollie dipped his head and bit the tip of Deke’s nose. It was nothing, the barest grazing of teeth over skin, but Deke’s alpha came closer to the surface, making him shiver.
“Okay.” Deke rested his head on the pillow beside Ollie’s, drinking him in. The beta seemed to do the same, getting so lost that he startled when Deke asked, “Am I going to be…me…when this hits? Will I still—I don’t know—have control? Because I’m in pre-rut right now and I’m barely holding on.”
Ollie brushed his thumb over Deke’s cheekbone, stroking it back and forth until Deke’s lashes fluttered. “I’ve never experienced heat or rut before, but from what I’ve witnessed, it just erases all the bullshit.”
“What do you mean?”
“All the fear, all the doubt, all the embarrassment of wanting the things you want. When your alpha takes over, you’ll only care about one thing: breeding me.” Ollie grinned. “And you will say or do whatever is necessary for you to put a baby in me.”
“Oh, God.” Deke groaned, fighting the urge to bury his face in Ollie’s neck as his cock thickened further at the thought of him carrying his babies. “Why are you laughing? That’s so embarrassing. I might actually die.”
“Think of it as temporary insanity. Once he’s got the wheel, he will be all about that one goal, but if it’s anything like what I’ve seen, you won’t lose yourself entirely.”
“Oh, good. I’ll be self-aware enough of my behavior to remember everything when this is over. Neat.”
Ollie shook his head, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth as his thumb floated down to stroke over Deke’s lower lip. “You’re ridiculous. Try to remember that, no matter how cringy what you say is, I’m hard-wired to find it hot. And whatever you say will probably trigger me to say equally embarrassing and cringy things.”
Deke scoffed. “Right.”
“I’m serious,” Ollie said, still playing with Deke’s bottom lip in a way that made him want to open his mouth for him. “We can wallow about it later together.” When Deke said nothing, Ollie added, “Hey, you know me. There’s nothing I hate more than being…vulnerable with people. But I’m willing to be vulnerable for you. So, you have to trust me, okay?”
Something about Ollie’s admission made Deke’s chest tight and his heartbeat stutter wildly, stealing his breath. He was willing to let him see him like this. “I thought you’d been with alphas in rut?”
Ollie shook his head. “No, I said I’ve taken an alpha’s knot.”
Deke frowned. “You said ‘from what I’ve seen’ a minute ago. How have you seen an alpha’s rut but never experienced it?”
Ollie flushed prettily, his face radiant as he gave Deke a bashful smile. “Well, I guess the openness starts here. I’ve never experienced an alpha in rut, but I have partaken in some sketchy porn consumption. And that’s all I’m telling you about that…for now.”
Deke’s stomach did somersaults at the ‘for now.’ It implied there would be a later. He wanted a later with Ollie. “You promise you won’t get mad that my alpha is basically trying to…knock you up?” Deke said, blushing despite his lava-hot skin.
“I promise.” Ollie pulled Deke in, adjusting them so his leg was firmly between Ollie’s. Deke gave a broken gasp as he felt Ollie’s hard length against his bare thigh. “Do I seem mad?”
Deke had fooled around with people before, but he’d never had this level of…intimacy with someone. He’d never laid in bed, nose to nose with a person, their naked body molded to his. In the past, the idea of it made him recoil. The few people he’d fooled around with had been nice enough, but they’d both known it was killing time. But this—whatever this was—carried weight. It meant something.
But when his rut took over, he might not care about this feeling at all. What if he didn’t remember his first time due to some accident of hormones and genetics? He didn’t want to forget being inside Ollie, even if he said cringy shit. Even if he embarrassed himself by sucking in bed or whatever.
“Can I kiss you?” Deke blurted.
“I mean, I figured you would. You don’t have to or anything, but kissing and sex kind of go hand in hand. It’s up to you,” Ollie said, always so pragmatic.
“Now,” Deke clarified. “Can I…can I kiss you now? Like…before I lose myself to this. Just so I know? So I remember?”
Ollie blinked rapidly, as if trying to process this information. “Yeah. Of course.”
Deke didn’t waste any time, surging forward, crashing their lips together. Ollie’s lips were soft and wet, and they yielded instantly, letting Deke lick inside his open mouth, tongue teasing over his.
Ollie melted into it, giving himself over to Deke, submitting in every way as they found a rhythm. Fuck, he tasted good. He felt…good. Ollie rocked against Deke’s thigh, kissing Deke like they had all the time in the world. Every time their lips parted, they’d lock eyes and come together once more. Deke couldn’t stop. He was addicted to it all. Ollie’s soft lips, the heat of his skin, the sounds he made, the wet smack of their lips in the otherwise silent room. He could kiss Ollie for hours and never get bored.
He wanted to do this forever.
Deke’s hand slipped beneath the sheet, gliding over Ollie’s naked hip, his palm curving over his ass cheek, squeezing until Ollie made another little helpless sound at the back of his throat. Deke swallowed it down, the alpha in him fighting to take over, to get things going.
Deke didn’t let him. Instead, he used his grip on Ollie’s ass to drag him against his thigh again, a low rumble escaping as Ollie’s cock leaked precum all over him. Soon, the only scent clinging to their skin would be each other’s. The wetness only helped improve the slide. Ollie began to rut mindlessly against Deke’s leg, eyes closed, lips parted, breaths panting against Deke’s lips like he was in heat.
“Good?” Deke asked.
“So fucking good,” Ollie said. “I’m making a mess all over your leg.”
Deke dug blunt nails into his ass cheek. He was making a mess. Because of Deke.
“Can you come like this?” Deke whispered, teeth grazing his jaw, his ear, before dropping his head to suck another purple bruise right in the middle of his scent gland where nobody would miss it.
“Yeah,” Ollie said, voice one step above a whisper.
“Do it,” Deke demanded, biting down just below where a mating mark would go, teeth sinking deep enough for him to taste blood. Ollie’s blunt nails dug into his shoulders as he hissed in pain. But when Deke pulled back, the beta’s pupils were blown wide, eyes almost black, and when he pressed his forehead to Deke’s, riding his thigh, he got to hear the breathy little uh uh uhs that made him crazy.
He needed to see it, needed to watch Ollie fall apart because of him. He let the hand on the beta’s ass slip lower, fingers dipping into the cleft between his cheeks, one finger circling his sticky lube-slick rim. He stared, riveted, Ollie gorgeous even from this close.
“Come on,” he whispered, massaging over his hole. “I want to feel you make a mess on my thigh, please.”
Ollie groaned. “Bite me…alpha.”
Was it not enough? Before he could ponder what to do to help, his alpha crashed to the surface, growling, “I said come. Now,” then sank his teeth deep, locking his jaw hard enough to make Ollie cry out, the wet heat of his release spilling over Deke’s thigh and underwear.
Deke’s mouth fell open. What had just happened?
Ollie fell onto his back, breathing hard as he stared at the ceiling, a strange look on his face. Deke allowed himself a moment to drink in his naked body, gaze stuttering on Ollie’s spent cock resting against the nest of brown curls. Even his dick was pretty. Of course, it was.
He needed to taste it. He needed to know what his cum tasted like on his tongue. He took Ollie by the base, sinking his mouth down over him.
Ollie cried out in surprise, his hand latching onto Deke’s hair as if to pull him off. “Hurts.”
Deke pulled off.
“You can take it,” he said, then sank back down, eyes rolling as Ollie’s release coated his tongue. So fucking good. His mate. His mate who squirmed beneath him helplessly, whining, hoping Deke might have some sympathy for his plight.
He didn’t. He couldn’t. His nose was buried against his mate’s skin, his scent driving Deke’s instincts, telling him to flip him over, yank his hips up and drive into him, force his body to make room for him.
But not yet.
Finally, he pulled off, and Ollie sagged, seemingly relieved. Deke curled up against Ollie once more, sated, warm, no longer in pain.
“We should probably go to sleep,” Ollie said around a jaw-cracking yawn. “In a few hours, it will no longer be an option.”
Deke nodded, pressing his face into Ollie’s neck once more. “Can I sleep here?”
“You can do anything you want, alpha.”
Deke groaned, but sleep was already pulling him under. “You’re going to be good for me, right?” he heard himself ask.
Lips brushed his hair. “I’m going to be so good for you.”
He was out before he could ponder whether he’d imagined that or not.