Chapter 17 Elodie
ELODIE
“Can you believe they made us continue the day with this feeling?” I grumble, rubbing my clenched knuckles against my chest for what feels like the millionth time today.
It’s as if the warmth inside of me is determined to keep me locked in time, wrapped in Thorne’s arms. That seems like the only moment it eased off enough to breathe, but being so close to him is not for the faint-hearted.
Especially since my body has been calling for me to go to him all day, and he hasn’t even been able to look in my direction.
The concern from him this morning, regarding Jude’s text message, has gone.
Hell, I’ve even seen his back stiffen when I walk into a room.
It could be nothing, and maybe I’m overreacting, but my gut tells me otherwise.
The second we completed the challenge, he made sure I could balance on my own before he hightailed it out of there without a word.
Stupidly, I expected more. Surely this sensation rippling through every inch of my body when it comes to him isn’t all one-sided, but it’s clear it must be, or he’s fighting it a hell of a lot better than I am.
It doesn’t make sense. Nothing seems to make sense in this place anymore.
The only constants I actually have are Ocean and Rion. The psychotic bestie I never knew I needed or wanted, and the golden retriever who seems determined to wrap his glow around me at all costs.
“I don’t even know what you’re talking about. I don’t feel any different,” Ocean murmurs, tucking a loose blonde curl behind her ear as she offers me a concerned smile, and I shake my head.
If she doesn’t know what I’m talking about, then what is it I’m feeling? “Did your whole body not feel like it was on fire when your bracelet matched with Kaiden?” I ask, referring to the guy from Institute Eleven that she was paired with, and she shrugs.
“No. My wrist was on fire, sure, but otherwise, I was fine, and I was definitely okay the second the trial was over,” she explains as we head out of the main academy building, but instead of heading toward Institute Thirteen like usual, she turns to the left, making me frown.
“Are we not heading back to Institute Thirteen?” I ask, and she twists her hands together nervously as she shakes her head.
“I thought you might prefer more of a distraction. So we could maybe search the library again if you feel like it?” she offers, worrying her bottom lip, and I tilt my head as I stare at her.
“What for?” I ask, sensing an awkwardness in the air that wasn’t there before.
The last time we went to the library, all we managed to successfully find were books on the institute games, but it’s been a dead end on the other topics that matter.
There’s no harm in looking again, but it feels doubtful.
When she doesn’t answer, the energy becomes clearer, and I cock a brow at her. “Ocean?”
She clears her throat, but her gaze doesn’t manage to find mine. “Rion told me about your parents while you were gone, and I wanted to help you find more about your past.”
I gape at her in surprise. My silence must panic her, because her gaze quickly meets mine as her eyes widen. “Don’t be mad, he—”
“I’m not mad,” I interject before she can get herself all worked up, and her shoulders relax as I wrap my arms around her in an awkward hug.
“Thank you,” I murmur, even though I’m unsure where we’re supposed to look, but she’s right; I need the distraction, and what better way to combat that than with something actually productive.
The alternative I have is something that’s been playing on my mind since the second Thorne saved me from Jude, but for now, I put it on the back burner as I let her link her arm through mine and drag me toward the library.
A shiver runs down my spine, a flicker of excitement as we step inside, but it does nothing to subdue the warmth that still permanently lives in my chest.
“I don’t even know where to begin this time,” I mumble, eyeing the librarian behind the desk. It’s the same girl as last time, who wasn’t much help, so it feels pointless to ask again.
“I was thinking I could try to use my magic,” Ocean states, and I turn to her, confusion drawing my eyebrows together.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I admit, aware of how dumb I always sound when it comes to her abilities, but if she thinks the same, she doesn’t show it as she offers me a broad but nervous smile.
“Come with me,” she whispers, dragging me toward the right. I go willingly, but the second we move behind a few rows of books, my heart stutters as I recall the exact spot Rion found me last time, and what we got up to among the books.
My thighs clench at the thought, but I force myself to shake the desire off and focus on the present.
Ocean comes to a stop at the closest table, out of view from everyone else.
She places her hands on her hips and takes a deep breath before she speaks.
“I was thinking I could channel my magic and try to seek out the books we want instead of trawling through them one by one. That’s what I planned on doing last time, but by the time I got back with the coffees, you were gone,” she explains, and I nod along, even though I don’t really understand what she plans to do.
She must sense my uncertainty because she chuckles as she waves me off.
“You stand there and look fabulous like always, and I’ll just…
get on with it,” she murmurs, shaking her shoulders out as she stands tall and closes her eyes.
I rub my lips together nervously as she gets comfortable.
Her lips move, but I can’t hear a single word she says.
Seconds drift into minutes, and I’m on the brink of telling her not to worry about it when she suddenly turns on the spot.
I opt to keep my mouth shut as she starts slowly walking through the rows of books with her eyes still closed, following closely behind her.
We bypass a few other students, but they don’t seem to acknowledge our existence as they go about their day while I blindly follow my magic-using friend around the library. Younger me would have laughed in my face.
I’m not prepared when she comes to an abrupt stop, almost colliding with her as she presses her hand against the wall and opens her eyes. Her eyebrows pinch immediately as she casts her gaze over the bare wall.
“Huh,” she mutters, flicking her hair over her shoulder.
“What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing, I just… my magic sensed something here, but maybe it just means in this area,” she explains, waving her hand around the two rows of books that stand on either side of the wall.
“Actually, I don’t even think I’ve looked over here, so this is a good start,” I offer, wrapping my arm around her shoulders in a half-hug. “Thank you,” I whisper, excitement threatening to get the better of me once again.
Something dances in her eyes, making them glisten, but I can’t place it, and I’m too eager to start looking to ask about it, so I do just that, taking off down the first row of books, scanning up and down each shelf as I pass.
“We need caffeine for this,” she declares, igniting the sudden desperation for coffee on my tongue, and I nod eagerly.
“I can go,” I offer, aware that she has been the coffee and pastry runner more than enough times, but she shakes her head.
“No, I’m calling in reinforcements,” she insists, making my eyebrows rise, but she doesn’t say another word as she pulls her cell phone out. A second later, her gaze finds mine again and she smiles. “All sorted. Now, where shall we begin while we wait for our order?”
“I’ll carry on on this side if you don’t mind taking the other,” I offer, and she nods before doing just that.
We fall into a comfortable silence as we trail up and down the bookcase. I take the same path three times, collecting a total of four books, but nothing immediately stands out as having high potential.
“Anything over there?” I ask, and she grimaces.
“Maybe these two. It’s a place to start, at least,” she replies, and I hum in agreement.
Offering one final glance over the books, I turn toward the closest table at the same time that Thorne appears around the corner carrying a tray of coffee cups and what looks like a bag of pastries.
What the hell is going on right now?
My heart skips a beat as I gulp, blinking at him as a half smile spreads across his face.
“I believe someone ordered coffee,” he states, slightly lifting the goodies. I’m unable to stop myself from taking in every inch of him.
Someone so good shouldn’t hate me so much.
Maybe hate is a strong word, but if what he says is true, if scythes truly killed his family that he loved so dearly, then he should.
That doesn’t stop the way I’m drawn to his dark eyes, almost shielded by his deep, loose curls that fall over his eyebrows.
It doesn’t stop the way my chest tightens and the burning intensifies, while I know that if I just take a step closer to him, everything will be okay.
I’m so screwed.
My lips part, but instead of responding to the unlawfully handsome shadow fae, I turn my attention to Ocean while not lifting my gaze from the man in question.
“I thought you messaged Rion,” I murmur, acutely aware that I didn’t question it; I had just assumed, but look where that got me.
“I did,” Ocean says with a shrug, like Thorne’s presence isn’t an issue.
My lack of breathing ability while in his close proximity means I can’t say the same thing.
Unaware of my struggles, Ocean moves toward Thorne and his delicious offerings, taking two of the three coffee cups with a mumbled thanks.
The warmth of the cardboard presses against my palm a moment later as she offers me one, and I silently wish I had requested my favorite hot chocolate instead.
I don’t think I need the buzz from the caffeine anymore.