Chapter 19 Kael #2
Clearing my throat, I test the weight of my voice. “She’s gone, isn’t she?” I murmur, hearing a slight shuffle from across the room.
“No.”
My eyes dart open, following the sound of that sweet melodic voice to find the woman in question leaning against the door as she assesses me. I can sense her nerves as she rubs her lips together, uncertainty fluttering her heartbeat.
“Are you okay?” I ask, my voice gravely as I sit straighter, my strength coming back to me faster now that I’m sitting in front of her.
She scoffs, tucking a loose curl of purple hair behind her ear. “Don’t ask me that. You’re the one I should be asking that question to,” she states, and I shake my head.
“Never. Don’t ask me that,” I bite, a little harsher than necessary, but she doesn’t let it affect her as she snickers at me.
“You might technically be my guardian asshole, but you really need to stop trying to control me. That includes telling me what I can and cannot ask.” She gives me a pointed look, but I’m too caught up in what she called me to fully absorb the rest.
“Guardian asshole?” I repeat, and she shrugs.
“Well, you’re no angel.”
I laugh, the sound surprising even me as it ripples from my chest and vibrates in my throat.
She’s telling the truth there. It takes a second for me to compose myself, but when I do, bringing my gaze back to hers, I find a somber look in her eyes.
One blue, one fractured, a blur of red tinging the blue, making it almost purple.
Her scarred eye makes my heart ache. I know it was him, but acknowledging it only confirms the pain he’s caused her. She doesn’t need my reminder too.
“Did you mean what you said?” she breathes, her heartbeat lurching at the question.
“Which part?”
“That you wanted to die?”
I grimace as soon as she says it, but I answer her honestly.
“If the only alternative is harming you, then yes. I don’t want to die, but I would if it meant protecting you,” I clarify, making sure she understands, and her jaw falls slack.
“But don’t let it go to your head,” I add, desperate to ease the tension in the room, and to my surprise, it works.
“Too late,” she says with a smile, standing taller as she continues to use the door to prop her up.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur, my next breath easier to manage now I’ve said those two words again.
“You said that already,” she states, a small smile ghosting her lips as she clears her throat. “How long?”
“How long what?” I ask for clarification because fuck knows what she’s referring to.
“How long has he been doing this to you?”
My chest tightens as my fingers curl into my sheets at my sides. I can’t hold her gaze, so I stare at her shoes instead. “I don’t know. I guess I’ve never fought against it before.”
“What made you realize something was going on?” she pushes, desperate to understand the details, but it churns me up inside. For her, though, it’s worth it.
“When I couldn’t stop myself from hunting you down despite how much I know you didn’t want to see me.
I was fighting with myself forever, locking the gym door only to find it open a few minutes later with no recollection of what I’d been doing.
The more I tried to leave the room, the more desperate I was to stay, and the more the loop continued, the further my mind pushed for more.
I don’t know what the fuck I was doing in The Institute Games, but even when you were taken, I was convincing myself that it was okay when I knew deep down it wasn’t.
And that girl…” My voice trails off as I sigh, wiping my hand down my face in an attempt to gain some composure, but failing miserably.
“I’ve killed before, but that girl… she didn’t deserve it.
I don’t have any recollection of it, just the consequences. ”
My words weigh heavily in the room, like a submarine delving deep beneath the surface, stabilizing an inch off the seabed.
I wouldn’t be shocked if she didn’t believe me. I wouldn’t believe me either. Despite the defeat that clings to my limbs, I chance a glance in her direction to find her waiting patiently for me.
“That feels like the most real you’ve ever been,” she admits, and my eyebrows furrow in confusion.
“I was real when I said I’m sorry,” I retort, my defenses rising, but she waves me off.
“I know, but seeing you vulnerable is a sight to behold,” she states, making my heartbeat pound.
“You’re mocking me,” I grumble with a sigh.
“I’m not, and you know I’m not. You just don’t know how to handle being vulnerable in front of someone. Now, how can we make sure he doesn’t get to you again?” she asks, folding her arms over her chest, confirming I’m not the only one with rising defenses.
“I don’t know,” I admit, downtrodden.
“But you’re okay right now?” she clarifies, and I nod.
“As good as I can be,” I offer, and in a flash, she’s sauntering toward me.
Every step is slow and measured, as if she’s approaching a beast that could jump on the attack at any second, and she’s not wrong.
I don’t know whose heart beats faster, mine or hers, but they fall in sync, a high-frequency thrum as she eliminates the distance between us.
She doesn’t stop in front of me as I expect. Instead, she plants her knees on either side of my thighs and climbs into my lap.
“Elodie,” I rasp, her name a prayer on my tongue as she curls her fingers around my neck, my cock stiffening beneath her. “Elodie,” I repeat, but she brings one of her slender fingers to my lips, shushing me as she leans in closer, her eyes glued to mine as she speaks.
“If we only have tonight, then I’d rather make the most of it.”
She steals my next breath with her lips against mine.
I pull her in closer, wrapping my arms around her middle, and the kiss deepens, taking everything from me, but before it can go too far, I lean back, pulling my lips from hers.
The confusion in her eyes cuts me deeper than I can express, but I know I’m doing the right thing.
“Elodie, the next time I’m with you, and there will be a next time,” I state, cupping her cheek.
“There is going to be no uncertainty between us. I don’t get to have a taste of you again until I know you’re safe in my presence.
Fuck knows what else my brother has been up to.
Regardless, you will not pay the price for that. ”
She sighs in disappointment, but the slight sparkle in the corner of her pretty eyes gives me hope. “Okay,” she whispers, attempting to shuffle out of my hold, but I bring my lips to hers one last time for a searing kiss that leaves me forever at her mercy.
“What now?” I dare to ask as she climbs out of my lap, adjusting her clothes as she looks at me with far too much sadness in her eyes.
“Now, I have to stay the hell away from you until we figure this out.”