Chapter 24 Elodie
ELODIE
Despite the carnage that I’m forever drowning in, sleep claimed me better than I thought it would last night. As my mind awakens, the tendrils still linger across my limbs as I try to sink deeper into my pillow, but I’m alert; there’s no going back.
Daring to blink my eyelids open, I stretch out, silently groaning as my muscles flex.
Ocean lies beside me, right where I left her last night.
In the time it took me to stumble in on Rion and his unwanted guest, say my piece to the bitch, grab myself some clothes to last twenty-four hours, and return, she had rearranged the room.
Girls’ night was in full effect with the beds pushed together, romance movies merging into one another on the television, and an embarrassing amount of snacks being consumed.
Not that she cried or needed cheering up, I guess she just needed the comfort that comes with it.
The truth of last night weighs heavily on me, but as I stare at my friend's sleeping form, I can't help but feel a sense of relief that Nathaniel is no longer an issue.
He seemed like a ten out of ten kind of guy with her, but the fact that he had the audacity to work with Jude confirms exactly the type of person he truly was, and that's not who I want around my friend.
Rolling onto my back, I look up at the ceiling and breathe out a heavy exhale. Despite the madness in which I find myself embroiled, last night was eye-opening, and I get the feeling there’s no going back.
I can’t continue to simply survive.
Keeping my head above water is not enough. I need to thrive, and to do that, I need to be in control. Not just of my situation or the scenarios I find myself in, but of myself and my powers.
The determination switch has been flipped, taking root deep in my soul. Maybe it is fueled by my dreams last night, which were twisted with obstacles and challenges, and in each one I was laden in warrior garments, a sword in hand, and victory on the tip of my tongue.
Maybe it was an insight into what my future could hold. A reminder that the cause of all of this is my magic, so it's about time I get a hold of it before I let somebody else have a go at controlling me.
Jude. The Sanctum. Nathaniel. And any other being who works for these power-hungry assholes who seem to have a plan for me.
I don't have a plan for myself, I never have, and that changes today.
My gut clenches with concern as Kael comes to mind, but despite the warranted feeling, I squash it for now, refusing to let it impact my tower of determination. He’s a fully grown man, with Thorne and Rion taking care of him; he doesn’t need me, not yet, not when I’m not strong enough.
As quietly as I can, I shuffle upright, my back pressed against the headboard, and grab my cell phone to check the time.
It's earlier than I anticipated.
I feel like that could work in my favor, though, if I want a little bit of peace and quiet while I focus. I don’t even remember what it’s like not to be distracted. My mind is constantly scattered, pinging from one thing to another.
There are no further text messages from Rion, Thorne, or Kael with regard to the Nathaniel situation, not since Rion confirmed it was taken care of last night, but there is a notification on the surveillance app that causes a stir in my gut as I press the notification.
The screen comes to life as I hold my breath. As predicted, two seconds into the clip, a figure steps into the frame, dressed head to toe in black.
Since my bed is moved and the camera is still in its usual place, I'm not entirely in the frame, but there's enough of a visual to see the figure slip into bed beside me with ease. I don’t startle awake. As usual, I snuggle back into their embrace as they stroke a finger down my cheek.
I remain blissfully unaware.
A shiver runs down my spine.
Why am I not afraid of this person?
Why am I not trying harder to push them away?
I don't know, but it's almost as if a sense of safety and calmness, with a pinch of curiosity, keeps me wanting more.
Shaking my head, I discard my cell phone and sneak into the walk-in closet, quickly changing into a pair of yoga pants and a tank top Rion didn’t actually take from my room.
Thank God for small mercies.
Slipping my feet into a pair of socks and sneakers, I grab my hefty sword, which seems to be my chosen weapon during a rebellion attack, and offer my friend one final glance before I step from the room.
It's eerily calm throughout the Institute as I head down the stairs and slip outside into the early morning air.
The chill makes me shudder, but once it worms its way through my body, the freshness seems to put an extra spring in my step as I race down the path toward The Vale, only to take the next turn off the path, darting into Institute Twelve as quietly as I can.
Not that I'm going to wake anybody up, but I'd rather not get caught.
I just want some space to work and focus without any interruptions, and this is precisely the place to do it.
Thankfully, the gate sits ajar, so I don't have to climb the awful fence again. Making my way around to the back, I quickly find a spot I’m happy with, perfectly splayed out along the edge of the tree line with the institute building a few yards behind me.
I grunt as I swing the sword into the earth, watching as it glistens under the intensity of the sun. I consider leaving it for later, eager to focus on this magic of mine, but it's a little difficult to do alone, especially when I need to channel it.
My power seems to draw strength from others, fueling abilities foreign to my limbs, and since I’m here alone, I need to branch out first, learn the core properties of my energy before I start trying to use them on demand.
Planting my hands on my hips, my thoughts drift between the sword and my abilities, when a thought drifts to mind. My feet shuffle apart as I ground myself.
“Keep your feet grounded, connect with the earth beneath you. No matter what it is you have to offer him, it’s at your command. Breathe it in, but breathe it back out.”
There was something about the way that woman spoke to me back in Jude’s solitary realm of fuckery that he created.
I didn’t even get her name, or that of the man beside her, but those words, they mean something.
They have to. The way she talked about connecting with the earth felt profound in that moment.
Before I can think any better of it, I kick my sneakers off along with my socks and press my bare feet into the soft blades of grass.
It's a little dry in patches, nothing like the lush green lawns that surround Institute One or Two, but it's better than the options at Thirteen since it’s just dirt. It’s enough for me to take a deep, calming breath that resonates in my soul.
How can I take energy from something here and give it to myself, when all I take is power? Surely, that's not all I'm good for.
My eyes close as I take a deep breath before prying my eyelids open, and my gaze lands on the sword. I consider whether it would be a better option to just swing that thing around for a while, but instead, I crouch before it, pressing my palms into my thighs as I take another deep breath.
I need to think clearly, which doesn't help organize my own thoughts as they whirl in my mind at one hundred miles an hour, twenty-four hours a day, every day of the week.
Another deep breath, and I try to center myself, searching for the magic inside me as if it's a real thing. Others sense their magic, their shift, their abilities, I should have something too, maybe I just need to look deeper.
All that greets me at first is darkness—endless darkness so deep I almost give up—but as my legs continue to sink into the grass and my breathing remains melodically calm, a flicker of something brightens on the back of my eyelids.
I'm uncertain at first, sure it’s a figment of my imagination. Yet, as I take another deep breath, I feel it in my stomach before it flashes on the back of my eyelids like a rich purple orb.
The color is ironic as hell given my hair, but the visual vanishes as my eyelids ping open and excitement courses through my veins.
Clearing my throat, I quickly downplay the moment and tell myself I'm crazy instead of trusting in myself.
With a heavy sigh, I flop onto my butt, crossing my legs in front of me as defeat clings to me, my shoulders arching forward, leaving me distracted.
I run my fingers over the blades of grass around me, some dark green, some almost yellow, dried out from the sun with no care or water.
It’s so different to see them side by side, but the representation connects with a part of my soul. It's almost as if they were never the same thing to begin with.
I rub both blades between my fingertips, feeling the difference in texture, from silky and soft to dry and flaky.
It makes me think of people, beings, institutes, and everything in between. It makes me consider how two things can grow in the exact same environment, side by side, yet be so different, not just in themselves, but in their souls.
I'm definitely the yellowed blade of grass. Never would I be blessed to live in such a green and lush place.
As the thought enters my mind, I feel it inside, the words illuminating in my thoughts with the same rich purple hue, making it glow.
It's enthralling and strange all at once as it blurs my vision, but when I regain my focus, I blink in disbelief at my hands, where I see two green blades of grass. My hands tremble as I gape at them. It’s not as rich as the first one was, but both stand as the same perfect mid-shade of green.
My heart hammers in my chest, confusion clouding my judgment as I release them quickly just to repeat the process with another two blades of glass.
One rich and green, one yellowed and dry.
Connecting my thoughts to the small blades, I feel that same flutter of rich purple deep in my soul and watch in slow motion as the darker blade grows lighter, and the paler shade grows darker until they are perfectly the same.
Rushing to my feet, I sway on the spot.
How did I do that?
Why did it do that?
Usually, my magic works against a person, and I'm able to take their powers for myself, not purposely or intentionally.
It usually comes with rage and anger, intense emotions.
Whereas this time, it's filled with an inkling of sadness, as well as an understanding and acknowledgement of who I am as a person.
Did I just take life from one thing and give it to another?
My chest clenches at the idea as hope blossoms in my gut.
I need to talk to somebody about it, but I don't want to be wrong, and I don't want to make things worse for myself if the wrong person finds out. Fear spikes in my veins and I glance over my shoulder, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end, leaving me riddled with worry.
The panic that someone is watching me is quickly subdued when I find I’m still alone, but I don’t care to hang around and double-check.
As quickly as I can, I put my socks and sneakers back on and grab my sword. Maybe I should take this back to Institute Thirteen, head to the gym, and focus on that first. I want to exhaust my body before I come back here and try again. Maybe then I'll have the courage to tell someone.
I grin, unable to stop myself. Maybe, just maybe, I'm more than just the deadly weapon they all believe I am.