Chapter 3
Chapter
Three
September 1 st
10:26 P.M.
Never in his life had thirteen hours felt like a lifetime.
There had been times when Cade had thought he was going to die. Being a pararescueman was not a job for the faint-hearted, and his life had been on the line many more times than he’d admitted to his wife.
There had also been a time when he’d been forced to sit beside his ill wife’s bedside as he watched her fade away a little more each day.
In all those instances, it felt as though time was dragging, that seconds felt like hours, hours felt like days, and days felt like weeks.
But it had never felt like this.
Putting his life on the line had been his choice. Knowing the dangers his job would entail he’d taken them on because he believed what he was doing was important. Same thing when he’d gone to work for Prey. What he did saved lives, and it was worth the risk.
As hard as watching Gretel waste away from cancer had been, they had decided together when they found out she had cancer just three weeks after learning she was pregnant, that she would put off treatment and try to carry their baby to term. It wasn't a decision he would force on other people, but it had been right for them. Even though they had known that with an aggressive form of cancer, it was unlikely Gretel would survive, he would never regret having his daughter, even as he missed his wife with a pain that had dulled over the years but would never leave him.
Now, with his precious little girl in the hands of men who wouldn't hesitate to hurt her even though she was only four years old and was completely innocent, every second felt like an eternity.
One eternity on top of another until it felt like he was losing his mind.
Cade sat in his empty house, alone, staring into space, with barely enough energy to breathe let alone do anything. While his family had been worried about him and hadn't wanted to leave him alone, he’d insisted that he needed some time to himself to try to decompress, get his head on straight, and figure out how to get his daughter back alive.
In the thirteen hours since the abduction, he and his brothers had talked to every witness who had been there at the time. They’d gone through every piece of security footage they could recover. No matter how horrific it had been watching his tiny daughter being kidnapped and stuffed into the back of an SUV, he’d watched it over and over again, trying to see something that would tell him the identities of the men who had taken Essie from him.
They had a detailed picture of what had happened, but in the end, they didn't know anything that mattered.
There were no names and no location.
This meant his daughter was lost out there, scared, and he wasn't there to comfort her, to make everything better.
That was his job, and he was failing at it.
Already he’d failed his wife and hadn't been able to save her even though his logical mind knew her cancer was just too aggressive and that even if she hadn't carried her pregnancy to term, it was unlikely she would have survived. Now he was failing their daughter. His final words to Gretel had been telling her how much he loved her and promising to raise a daughter she would be proud of.
Anger, grief, and fear warred inside him.
The grief was the worst because he felt like it was a betrayal of Essie. Thinking about her being gone when she was still alive, imagining how empty his life would be without her when there was still a chance he could get her back.
The fear was almost paralyzing. All he wanted to do was scream and rage at the universe for taking from him all he had left.
The anger wound up adding shame to the list. It wasn't Gabriella’s fault that Essie had been in the car. Just because she’d convinced him to let her take Essie to the pool didn't negate the fact that he’d agreed. Blaming her in any way was unfair especially given he’d seen how she’d tried to protect his child.
Feeling like he was moments away from spinning out of control, Cade threw the glass in his hand across the room, getting a tiny sliver of release when it exploded and shattered into hundreds of pieces, littering the floor of the room that was too full of Essie. While Gabriella always kept their home clean and tidy, there were signs of his almost kindergartener everywhere. Her toys were packed neatly away in her toy box and on the shelves that lined one living room wall. Her artwork covered the refrigerator, a pile of her clean laundry sat on the kitchen table, waiting to be taken upstairs and put away, a half-started craft project sat on the counter, ready to be finished after lunch.
It was too much.
He couldn’t be in this room a second longer.
Snatching up Essie’s favorite teddy bear, one he and Gretel had picked out when they found out she was expecting but before the diagnosis, he headed for the stairs. Despite being five years old, the toy was in good condition, its light brown fur still soft, its eyes and nose still intact, Essie loved Winkie-Bear and took such good care of it.
If it had been any other day other than swimming lesson day, the stuffed animal would have been with Essie. She rarely went anywhere without it, but Gabriella had convinced her that pool days were days Winkie-Bear would be happier at home.
Clutching the teddy in his hands, Cade fought against the idea that this might be all he would have left of his daughter. This teddy bear and a bunch of other toys and clothes that all smelled like his child and reminded him of her and the times they’d shared together, but were such a pale comparison to the real thing.
When he reached the second floor, heading for Essie’s bedroom, he found himself pausing in the open doorway to Gabriella’s room. Because he could be gone for days or weeks at a time it had made sense for the nanny to live with them to make it easier and less disruptive for Essie. This room was smaller than the master, but it had its own bathroom which meant Gabriella had her own space. Now as he stood in the doorway looking around it, he was overcome with the sweet honey scent that was so intrinsically Gabby.
Like how she kept the house, her room was neat and tidy, a huge four poster bed piled high with fluffy pillows and a lacy white bedspread that matched the curtains. There was an antique roll-top desk and a bookcase with a rocking chair beside it. Butter yellow was her favorite color, and accents of it around the room made it seem even more like her.
Sitting in the middle of the bed was an old ragdoll. She’d told him once that it was the only thing she still had left from her biological mom, and she’d taken that doll with her to every foster home she’d lived in, then to college, and then to the home she’d shared with her ex. Now, it sat alone on the bed, and he was struck for the first time by how truly lonely Gabriella’s childhood must have been.
No matter what had gone on in his life, he’d always had an amazing family at his back.
Gabriella had no one.
Well, she used to have no one. But now she had him and his family.
Before he even realized what he was doing, his feet carried him over to the bed and he snatched up the ragdoll and held it and Essie’s teddy against his chest as he headed back into the hall.
There were so many things he wished he’d said to Gabriella when he had the chance. Had he ever made sure she knew how much he valued her and what she brought to Essie’s life? Had he ever actually said the words to her rather than assuming she knew? Had he made sure that she understood she wasn't just his employee, she was a part of his family, and his daughter loved her like a mother?
Had he ever let on that the feelings he knew she had for him but never let on that he was aware of weren't as unreciprocated as he allowed her to believe?
That one he knew the answer to.
He hadn't.
He’d always been content to let her think that it was one-sided, that he wasn't even aware that she was infatuated with him, because if he acknowledged it aloud, he might have to give into his feelings.
That was something he couldn’t allow himself to do.
He’d already lost one woman he loved, and he had a little girl, letting himself get involved with someone else wasn't on the table.
Not even the woman he’d fallen asleep thinking about more nights than he should, who’d starred in more dreams than he could count, who loved his daughter like her own.
It made him a jerk, but it also kept him safe.
Safe, but as he held Gabriella’s doll beside his daughter’s teddy, he knew he’d also cost both of them a chance at happiness.
September 2 nd
5:06 A.M.
Literally, the only reason she wasn't panicking was because of the little girl sleeping restlessly in her arms.
Without Essie’s presence and her desire to do her best to keep the child as calm as possible, Gabriella was under no doubt that she would be a sobbing, hysterical mess.
But she couldn’t fall apart.
Because if she fell apart then Essie would follow.
Yesterday, after Essie’s trip to the bathroom, they’d been locked up in an empty room. There were no windows, no furniture, nothing for them to do but sit and wait. For what she wasn't sure yet. They’d been taken for a reason. Well, Essie had, she’d been taken more than likely to provide a little entertainment for the men who had abducted them, but so far, no one had asked anything of her.
No food had been delivered, and she would have been tempted to think they’d been left alone and all the men had gone, only when Essie next decided she needed the bathroom, she’d hammered on the door and called out, just to see what would happen. Her calls had been answered, and she’d been allowed to take the little girl to the toilet again.
This time, she’d gone as well, and they’d both drunk some water from the sink because she wasn't sure if the men were going to feed them. It turned out to be a good idea because no one had dropped off any food or water for them.
Since she was wearing her watch, Gabriella knew they were approaching the twenty-hour mark of when they’d been taken. Honestly, she’d expected something more to have happened by now.
Wasn't the point of kidnapping his daughter supposed to send Cade crazy and make him compliable?
Cade.
Her heart ached for him.
He’d already lost so much and now his little girl was in danger.
It was her fault. She should have listened when he said it was too dangerous for Essie to be out and about. She’d been too focused on trying to make sure Essie didn't realize what was going on and didn't develop fears and anxieties because of being locked away.
What she should have done was trust Cade.
This was what he did, and it was his daughter.
“I’m sorry, cuddle bug,” she whispered as she smoothed a sleeping Essie’s braids.
Because there was no furniture, nowhere comfortable for them to sleep, and no coverings in the chilled room, she’d stripped off the light jacket she’d been wearing, and the sundress she’d thrown on over her swimsuit, and used them as bedding for the child. It left her chilled but at least she had Essie’s warm body snuggled in her arms.
Safe.
“I’ll try to keep her safe for you, Cade. I promise I’ll do my best.”
While she did her best not to make it obvious, she was hopelessly in love with Cade Charleston. Watching how he was with his daughter was like watching the sunshine come out on a cloudy day. That gruff expression he usually wore disappeared, and he wasn't embarrassed to get dressed up like a fairy princess, have makeup parties, or pretend to be a unicorn that Essie could ride.
He was loyal and protective of those he loved. The way he’d stepped up to help care for his younger siblings after their parents’ deaths, the way he fought to get justice for his mom, even how he was with her. Although he could be a grumpypants, he paid her well, didn't treat her like the help, and was respectful even when all she wanted him to do was haul her into his arms and kiss her like she’d dreamed about so many times.
But he could never be hers.
Not really.
And one day he wouldn't need help with Essie anymore.
Already the little girl would be starting school, and soon, she would be old enough to take care of herself. Cade would still travel sometimes for Prey and Essie would need to be looked after during that time, but three of Cade’s brothers had fallen in love and would no doubt be looking to start families. That meant there would be plenty of people who could take her in when her dad was away.
No matter how badly she wished it wasn't true, the reality was that she wasn't a part of the Charleston Holloway family.
Time was running out for her as much as she’d been pretending it wasn't, and she didn't know what her life was going to look like without Essie and Cade in it.
“Gabby?” Essie’s sleepy voice focused her thoughts on the little girl depending on her.
“Right here, cuddle bug,” she said, touching a kiss to Essie’s forehead, so very glad the men had taken her, too, so this little girl wasn't all alone.
“I'm hungry,” Essie complained, opening her big, gray eyes. “And I miss Daddy, and Winkie-Bear.”
“I know you do.” She wished so desperately that there was something she could do, but unfortunately, she couldn’t fix any of those problems. She had no food and no way of getting the child back home where she belonged.
“Maybe we can play a game, distract you from that grumbly tumbly,” she teased, pasting on a smile, and tickling Essie’s tummy, managing to get a giggle out of her. At least she’d been able to keep the little girl occupied the day before by playing game after game. They also sang songs, and Gabriella had weaved stories for the child. When it reached Essie’s bedtime, she’d sung the girl to sleep just like she usually did.
Sometimes, when she was sitting on the edge of Essie’s bed, singing to her Cade would come and stand in the doorway, listening. When they put her to bed together, he’d always sit back after he’d read his daughter a story and waited for her to sing.
At first, she used to get self-conscious. She was an okay singer but nothing special, still the way he looked at her … she could have sworn the love she felt for him wasn't quite as unrequited as she believed.
“Can we do thumb wars?” Essie asked, perking up, her rumbling tummy forgotten as she held out her hand.
“Course we can.” Gabriella sat up, too, crossing her legs as she faced the little girl, but before they could start, the door to their room was opened, and two of the men she recognized from the abduction stood there eyeing her up like she was a piece of meat.
“Morning,” one of them drawled, his heated gaze roaming her barely covered body. Since she was dressed in only her swimsuit and it was cold in there, she knew her nipples were pebbled. Both men stared at her chest, and the one who hadn't spoken ran his tongue along his bottom lip.
“Thought you might want to come and get some breakfast,” tongue man spoke.
While his words sounded innocent enough, his expression had nausea churning in her stomach. But she had to get food for Essie and take care of the child. It was her job, but more than that, she loved the little girl.
Slowly she stood, fighting against the fear that urged her to grab Essie and run. That wasn't going to work though, so she locked her knees together, forced a smile to her lips, and faced Essie. “I’ll be right back, okay?”
“I don’t want you to go,” Essie said, her fear evident.
“It’s going to be okay, cuddle bug. I’m just going to get us some breakfast.” Infusing confidence and calm into her tone worked, and Essie gave her a nod, her fingers clutching at the jacket she’d used as a blanket.
“Pinkie swear?” Essie asked.
Leaning down she held up her pinkie. “Pinkie swear.”
Following the men out of the room, they locked the door behind them and led her into a larger room where the rest were waiting for them, plus a sixth who hadn't been in the car the day before. There were piles of food strewn about, not anything she’d usually make for breakfast, but there was some fruit, and a couple of loaves of bread, enough for her to feed her little charge.
“Bet the kid is hungry,” one said, shooting her a smarmy smile.
“What are you willing to do to feed her?” another asked, grabbing his crotch and squeezing.
Gabriella gulped, and her voice shook when she answered. “Anything.”
“Down on your knees,” the man who had sat before her in the vehicles yesterday said as he stalked toward her.
Her entire body shook and she wanted to scream at these disgusting men that she wasn't going to do what they wanted. But she couldn’t. Because the little girl she loved was sitting in a room waiting for her to bring back food for her. It had been almost twenty-four hours since they’d last eaten, and her stomach was cramping badly, she knew Essie’s would be the same.
There was no other choice.
No way out.
Fighting back a sob she dropped down to her knees. Chuckles and hollers sounded around her, but she couldn’t look at the men or she’d lose her nerve. Instead, she stared at the floor.
Watched as a pair of boots appeared before her.
The sound of a zipper opening had her lifting her head to find a penis right in front of her.
Try as she might, she couldn’t make her lips part to take it inside.
When she didn't move, rough hands tangled in her long red hair, and gripped her face hard enough to squeeze her cheeks and her mouth popped open.
As he stuffed his length inside it, making her gag, tears trickled down her cheeks. Gabriella felt like she was selling her soul to the devil but so long as what she was buying was food and protection for Essie, she would pay whatever price was asked.