41. Milo
41
Milo
T hea was supposed to be asleep. I usually listened outside her door to make sure, but I’d missed her, and the need to be with her was overpowering.
She was my new obsession. A drug I couldn’t live without. I probably should have been concerned, but I wasn’t. Cassian had figured out Thea was my latest obsession and expressed concern. He didn’t want my father to send me away again.
Dad had warned me if I got caught stalking any more girls, he’d lock me up and throw away the key.
I wasn’t sure why my parents even had a baby. They weren’t maternal in the slightest. Dad’s work came first. He rarely acknowledged my presence unless I did something bad enough to provoke his anger.
Mom was the same, which was why she’d handed me over to a nanny the day after she gave birth. I didn’t even realize Mom was my mother until I was five and someone remarked I looked just like her.
These days, I never saw them unless it was a special occasion. They mostly left me to my own devices, which I preferred. Still, Dad’s threat was real.
Thea tugged the quilt higher up her body. The room felt cool, but not cold enough to bother me. I was used to lying on top of her covers, next to her sleeping form. Like always, I wore black sweatpants and a thick sweater, well aware of the need to avoid being caught sneaking around campus in the middle of the night.
There were usually two security guards on patrol, but I knew their routines and how to avoid them. Both were lazy bastards who couldn’t catch a criminal if he threw himself at their feet.
Thea’s breathing evened out as she slipped back into a deep sleep. I’d been right when I said she slept better with me there. She helped me sleep better, too.
Alone in my bed, I struggled to switch my brain off. Here, with her, I had no trouble sleeping.
When I next opened my eyes, the room had lightened. Thea’s body curled against mine, her cheek resting on my chest. For a moment, I froze, fighting the instinctive urge to pull away. But the more I examined how it felt to have her small hand clutching my sweater and her cute little snores vibrating through me, the more I realized I liked it.
Loved it, in fact.
It wasn’t the first time I’d woken with her wrapped around me like a koala, but it was the first time I hadn’t eased out of her clutches and left. She was still deeply asleep, so moving probably wouldn’t disturb her. I could have crept away, leaving her to wake up alone.
No doubt Landon would appear soon. He’d taken to calling in when he woke, making sure she was alright. Kyril would have shown up, too. Only his father had summoned him for a few days.
Thea’s smaller body fit mine like God had made her for me. My perfect little doll. Only this doll was real. My odd mannerisms didn’t faze her. Nor the fact I hated to be touched.
She saw me. The real me.
And I liked it.
When I looked down again, Thea was staring up at me, her eyes wide with anxiety. Almost immediately, she tried to pull back.
“Milo… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”
I blinked in confusion. “What’s wrong?”
“I know you hate being touched,” she explained, attempting to disentangle her arms, but I held on tight, refusing to let her go. It was only when she inhaled sharply that I realized I was hurting her.
“I don’t hate it when you touch me,” I admitted, but let her go anyway. The camisole top she wore barely covered her tits, the bruising across her torso visible, although the lurid purple splotches had now faded to green.
“Why?” she asked, curious, settling back on to the pillow, her mouth close enough that I could lean forward and kiss her if I wanted.
“Being touched makes me uncomfortable. My parents were - are - never physically affectionate, so nobody noticed my aversion when I was little. As I got older, it made me anxious when adults tried to touch me. I’ve learned to cope and now I can tolerate some things, like shaking a person’s hand or when Landon thinks it’s hilarious to hug me. But I’ve never…” My voice trailed off in embarrassment.
Admitting that I’d never been intimate with anyone was hard. I didn’t want her to think less of me. I wasn’t like the other guys who bedded girls all the time, like it meant nothing.
“Milo, it’s OK. You don’t need to explain anything.”
“No. I want to tell you.” She waited patiently as I gathered my thoughts. If I was honest with her, maybe she’d trust me enough to explain why she’d been at the ball when she shouldn’t have been anywhere near Blackwood Manor. I still hadn’t told the guys about what I’d seen. Cassian would lose his shit for sure.
“I’ve never been intimate with a girl. You’re the first girl I’ve kissed.”
Her eyes widened. “I was your first kiss?”
“Yeah.” I felt stupid. Like, really fucking stupid. What must she be thinking?
She scooted forward and touched her lips to mine. I could feel the softness of her breasts against my chest, the heat of her skin burning me through my sweater. The room had warmed up now by a few degrees since the ancient radiator under the window burst into life, but it was still pretty cool, and my hands ached to touch the hard peaks of her nipples.
I relaxed into her kiss, letting her lead. Her tongue flicked out, teasing me, making me picture what else that tongue could do if I let her.
My dick throbbed in my pants, straining toward her curvy little body. If I was Landon, I’d have her on her back by now, be tearing her shorts off, ready to sink into her hot, wet pussy. But I wasn’t like Landon.
I had no clue what I was doing. She’d be disappointed if I messed it up. The thought of disappointing Thea killed the moment. I pulled away. Thea’s face fell before she rolled on to her back and stared at the ceiling.
“I’ve not, um, you know, done that either,” she whispered after a long, uncomfortable silence.
“Kissed?” Surely not. Thea was a smoke show. Besides, I knew for a fact she’d kissed Landon and also Kyril. More, from what Landon had hinted at after he took her to his family estate. We’d all seen his smug-as-fuck grin when he walked in later that day.
“No, not kissed. I’ve kissed a few people. More than kissed.” She closed her eyes and huffed. “I’ve not had sex with anyone, though.”
When I said nothing, mostly because my brain was struggling to process this unexpected confession - thank God I wasn’t the only virgin on campus - she cracked open one eye and glared at me.
“What? So it’s OK for you to be a virgin but not me?” I tried to read her expression but failed miserably. No sooner had I kind of figured out what she was thinking than it changed. Was she pissed with me? Disappointed I wasn’t more experienced? Angry that I’d stopped kissing her?
This was one of those times when I needed Landon here to translate for me. He was good at reading girls. He always knew what to say to them.
“No! I’m just…surprised!” I lay on my back, deciding it was safer not to look at her. Having this conversation with a massive erection was proving awkward. “I assumed you’d be like every other girl on campus.”
“A ho, you mean?” I caught the trace of laughter in her voice and turned toward her.
“No, I meant more experienced.” Why was it so hard to talk to girls? Or anyone, for that matter. This was why I avoided people. It was as if I had something missing in my brain. A vital communication chip. I felt like punching myself in the face.
Writing code was so much easier than having a conversation. It was no wonder I was still a virgin. Even if I didn’t have an aversion to physical touch, what girl would want me when I couldn’t even talk to them like a normal guy?
“Maybe if my father wasn’t such a controlling cunt, I’d have lost my V-card by now,” Thea confessed, interrupting my thoughts. “He plans to marry me off to some old pervert, so I’m not allowed to have sex with anyone.”
Shock barreled through me. “Who is your father, Thea?” The scant information I’d discovered about her was clearly bullshit. Only the less progressive mafia families forced daughters into arranged marriages. Was Thea a mafia princess? Was that why she was here under an assumed name?
My brain worked to put the pieces together, make sense of what little I knew about this intriguing girl who had my head spinning and my body feeling things I’d never felt before.
“You know I can’t tell you that, Milo.” Thea half-smiled. “I’d have to kill you if you knew.” I had a feeling she wasn’t joking.
“OK, so tell me this. Are you safe?”
She snorted. “Define safe, Milo.”
“Are you safe here on campus?”
“What do you think?” she asked, gesturing at the fading bruises on her face.
No, she wasn’t safe. Whoever this man was, the one who’d hurt her despite her skills, he had a long reach.
It was just as well I had a friend who was equally dangerous. I knew Kyril was equally enamored with Thea, just like Landon. Cassian was the only one of us who had stayed away from her.
And it wasn’t because he didn’t find her attractive. He did. He just refused to admit it. Not that I blamed him. With all the bullshit Cassian was currently dealing with, he didn’t have time for any additional complications. Managing his father’s expectations and also the Troll was a full-time job. It was a wonder he found the time to attend classes and submit his work.
“You’re not alone, Thea. We’ll protect you.” From the way she scoffed, she thought I was full of shit.
“It’s not me I’m worried about,” she said.