50. Thea
50
Thea
B ack in Italy, when I was 16, I’d planned how I wanted to lose my virginity. In my fertile imagination, heavily influenced by the Twilight movies, it involved a soft bed, scented candles, and maybe some romantic music.
I definitely hadn’t pictured kneeling in the snow, in sub-zero temperatures, with a deranged Russian slamming his huge cock into my desperate cunt.
Yet here we were.
Dar was supposed to be my first. We’d spent months leading up to it. Stolen kisses and touches when he managed to sneak onto the estate. Heated messages on the burner phone he’d gifted me.
I’d wanted it to be him. I’d trusted him. He was my best friend. The boy who’d made life more bearable when all I knew was darkness. Yet he’d disappeared, leaving only a shitty note, and all my dreams turned to ashes in an instant.
The last time I’d seen him, he promised me the moon and stars, but his promises turned out to be lies.
It was time I took control of my story. I refused to let a man dictate when and how I lost my V-card. Kyril might think he was in charge here, but if I said no, he would stop.
Kyril was a lot of things - aggressive, violent, and protective - but he wasn’t a rapist.
He surged into me, and I yelped. Extensive Google searches had informed me the first time often hurt, but I was beginning to wish I’d chosen some guy with a small pencil dick for my first.
“Relax, kotenok,” he purred in my ear as he leaned over me. The heat of his body warmed mine, blocking the cold air and falling snow. When his fingers found my clit again, I moaned. Pain turned to pleasure as my body accepted his. “Good girl,” he said. “I have to make this quick, kotenok, we don’t have long.”
I tried to offer some kind of sassy comeback, but my brain had long since melted. With every slow drag of his cock in and out of my stretched pussy, the pleasure grew.
Why had I waited this long?
Why had I let my father’s threats control my decisions about my body?
It was like I’d finally burst into life after years of stasis. Every cell lit up with pleasure. Even though Kyril had already coaxed an orgasm from me with his fingers, I was on the edge yet again.
Being stuffed full of his cock just made the pleasure sweeter, more intense. He seemed to know exactly what I wanted, his cold fingers rubbing my overheated clit in time with each powerful thrust.
He pulled me upright against his chest, his breathing ragged in my ear. “Please,” I moaned, desperate for a release. The snow fell faster, icy flakes melting the minute they touched my heated cheeks. “Harder!”
One, then two more savage thrusts, and I fell apart, soaring so high it felt like I was flying. Everything faded as I came floating back to earth like burning embers from a fire.
Kyril groaned in my ear and heat bloomed inside. It was only then I remembered we hadn’t used a condom.
Horror vanquished sated bliss as he pulled me against his chest, murmuring nonsense in Russian, still buried inside me. The aggression had faded. My rabid bear had turned into a cute little puppy.
It would have been hilarious and sweet if not for the fact his cum was leaking down my thighs and he’d fucked me bare without protection.
“You asshole!” I screamed, pulling away from him and yanking up my jeans. Who knew where my panties were. Some jogger would no doubt spot them hanging in a bush tomorrow. Gross.
“What’s wrong?” Kyril looked at me confused, and dare I say it, a bit hurt?
Some of my anger disappeared at his wounded expression, but he wasn’t getting off lightly. He should have asked the question. It was at least 50% his fault I was now potentially knocked-up.
“We didn’t use a condom!” I poked his chest with my finger, and then the penny dropped. His face morphed from confusion into regret.
“Fuck.”
Landon burst into view, read the situation immediately, and glared at Kyril. “What have you done?”
My emotions hung on a knife-edge. The lock I usually kept on my feelings gone. It lay shattered in the snow, irrevocably broken. Was this what sex did to women? If so, I was never having sex again.
I couldn’t handle the emotional shit. It scared me.
“No condom,” I muttered, keeping my gaze averted from Landon in case he looked at me like I was the world’s biggest slut. I wasn’t. But it didn’t stop the little voice in my head laughing and pointing a finger.
“You stupid asshole!” Landon threw a punch at Kyril, who ducked. “You should have asked if she was on birth control!” He turned to me. “Are you on the pill?” I shook my head.
As if my father would have let me see a doctor about contraception. Not a chance in hell.
Kyril hung his head. The scary predator who’d chased me through the woods was long gone. Part of me wanted to admit that it was just as much my fault we were in this mess, but I didn’t have the emotional bandwidth.
The high of two amazing orgasms had long since gone. My body felt sore and cold. I wanted to take a hot shower and sink into bed. There was nothing I could do about the unprotected sex thing right now.
A trip to visit the campus nurse in the morning and get a Plan B, or whatever the equivalent was in this country, was in my future. Hopefully, she didn’t judge me for my poor decision-making. She didn’t need to, frankly. I was way too busy judging myself.
I zipped up my jacket while Landon and Kyril argued, and then I walked away. Before I’d even made it five feet, Milo appeared. He scanned my face, looking worried.
“You’re not OK? Has he hurt you?”
“Not now, Milo.” I didn’t want to talk about it. He’d find out from the other two what had happened. “Let me go.”
“No, it’s late. I’ll walk you back to your room.”
“Fine. Whatever.” Too tired and emotional to argue, I shrugged and let him lead the way. If Kyril tried to follow me, I’d punch him in the dick again. The last thing I needed was him going all alpha on my ass again.
We were closer to the campus than I’d realized. Twenty minutes later, I ended up outside my bedroom door. “Please go, Milo. I just want to be alone.” He’d followed me up here, not making any attempt to touch me, which I appreciated.
“Message me if you need anything,” he said. “I put my number on your phone.”
He had? I must have missed that. And also, how did he crack the password? But that was a question for another day.
I nodded and unlocked the door. When I closed it, the last thing I saw was him watching me, concern written all over his face. Since I didn’t trust him not to break into my room later, I wedged the desk chair under the door handle.
Then I took a long hot shower, and when I had finished scrubbing all traces of Kyril from my skin, I crawled into bed and fell asleep the minute my head touched the pillow.
Five thousand unread messages sat waiting on my burner phone the next morning. OK, so maybe that was a slight exaggeration, but there was far more than normal.
Most of them were from Eden asking if I was OK after I disappeared last night. She’d tried calling too, which I felt bad about, but I knew if I called her back, she would want to come over, so I sent a quick proof of life message saying I was fine and I’d catch her later.
The girl staring back at me from the bathroom mirror looked far better than I expected, given the late night I’d had. My skin glowed in the harsh LED lights, and although my eyes were slightly puffy, with some bruising still showing, they were brighter than normal.
Ugh . Eden was typically observant. One look and she’d know something had happened. Not that it would take an FBI profiler to figure that out after Kyril’s antics last night. I had a feeling the whole college was gossiping about us this morning.
My body sure knew something had happened. I felt sore and achy between my thighs, and when I’d showered last night, I’d spotted a nice collection of fingerprint bruises all over my hips and thighs.
Shit, I needed to visit the nurse. It couldn’t wait. From what I’d read, the efficacy of morning-after pills lessened with each hour that passed. The sooner I took it, the better. Getting knocked up was not on my to-do list.
I scraped my hair into a ponytail, brushed my teeth, and dragged some clothes on. Outside, more snow had fallen, which meant extra layers. Once I had finished getting dressed, I reached for my favorite knife and then cursed.
For fuck’s sake. I’d dropped it last night while fighting with Kyril. Yet another thing to blame him for. There was zero chance of me finding it now. Not with all this snow. Although, if I spotted my missing panties, the knife would be nearby.
When I finally opened my door, Kyril was sitting outside. He handed me a paper bag containing a morning-after pill.
My anger had already faded since last night, and Kyril’s thoughtfulness tipped the balance even further.
It told me he regretted not thinking about contraception in the heat of the moment. It reassured me he wasn’t a complete asshole.
“Thank you.” Manners cost nothing, and he’d gone out of his way to help. Even if a potential pregnancy was 50% his problem, he had saved me an embarrassing trip to the nurse, who would likely have lectured me on my morals. Or lack thereof.
He passed me a small bottle of water. “Take it now. You might feel nauseous and get a headache,” he said.
I broke the seal on the water, popped the pill, and swallowed it down while he watched, his face inscrutable.
“Come,” he said. “You need to eat.” He grabbed the empty pill packaging from me and shoved it in his rucksack. Then he took my hand and led me downstairs. I was so surprised by this caring side to him, it didn’t occur to me to argue.