65. Thea
65
Thea
M y heart seized in my chest…and then I relaxed.
What was Milo doing here? After not seeing him for a few days, I’d wondered if he was alright, but it didn’t seem appropriate to ask the guys.
I shouldn’t care at all. Milo was nobody to me.
Only I did care.
I hadn’t forgotten his kindness when he found me half-dead in the tower. Or the way he put aside his aversion to physical touch and soothed me when I had nightmares.
Milo was odd, but he was sweet and thoughtful, and I liked him.
He kicked the door closed and pushed a small keycard into his pocket. When his eyes raked over me and lingered on my naked breasts, I blushed a fiery shade of red. Not all of it was down to embarrassment. A small part of me reveled in the idea he’d seen my tits, and judging by the bulge in his pants, it turned him on.
It was confusing. Of all the guys, he seemed almost asexual. He didn’t flirt like Landon, or openly touch me like Kyril. Cassian kept his attraction well hidden, but it was there. I wasn’t blind. I’d caught him staring at me numerous times. Heated glances when my tits brushed his bicep in class or I wore a tight top.
Yep, Cassian Forsyth wasn’t immune to my charms, even if he liked to pretend otherwise.
Milo was different. Apart from the time we’d kissed in my bedroom, he hadn’t crossed the line again. He seemed happier watching me from a distance, apart from when he crawled into my bed on the nights he entered my locked room.
I still hadn’t figured out how he could breach the door security. When I’d asked him, he refused to tell me.
“How did you know where we were?” Kyril asked as I quickly pulled my sports bra back on. I noted how he stood in front of me, effectively blocking Milo’s view. Yet another reminder that the deranged Russian was a cuddly kitty cat beneath his psycho mask.
I almost snorted at the thought of telling him so. No doubt he’d deny it until he was blue in the face.
“Cass said you’d gone to the gym, so I checked the security cams.” From the way he rolled his eyes, Milo obviously thought Kyril’s question was dumb.
“And you saw all three of us enter this room,” Landon surmised with a smirk. He turned to me. “Milo has a voyeuristic kink. He was probably hoping to catch us in the act.”
Milo blushed and looked down. I gritted my teeth and glared at Landon. “Don’t be an asshole. You got off on watching me and Kyril, so don’t shame him for enjoying the same thing!”
Landon threw his hands in the air. “Hey, I wasn’t kink-shaming him!”
“No, but you were trying to make him feel uncomfortable. Not cool!” I threw him another scowl and stomped towards the door, exchanging a small smile with Milo on the way past.
“Missed you,” I murmured. I wasn’t sure who was more surprised by that confession: him or me. Before my cheeks ignited in another fiery blaze, I shot out of the physio room. The guys could clean up our mess. It was their fault the table was a black light crime scene.
Totally nothing to do with me.
That was a hill I was willing to die on.
Eden took a seat opposite me as I sipped coffee and reflected on the shitshow that was my life. There were a few unopened messages on my official phone from Dad, but I didn’t dare look at them. Hopefully, he thought I was in a lecture or something.
I didn’t always reply to their messages immediately. Mostly because it was one of the few things I could control.
“You look…tired,” observed Eden as she bit into a bacon roll. “We need a girl’s night out. Away from all the men who flock around you like dogs chasing a bitch in heat.”
I glared at her. “You have a way with words. Ever considered becoming a poet?”
Eden snorted and gobbled down more bacon smothered in tomato ketchup. Around us, students chattered and stared at their phones.
The snow around campus had turned into slush, thanks to a sudden rise in temperatures. The grounds keepers kept the pathways between the various buildings clear, but several large snowmen still adorned the grassy areas. I laughed when I noticed one of them had a pink dildo sticking out of its crotch area.
Eden followed my amused gaze and laughed. “I heard on the grapevine that’s Landon’s work.” I rolled my eyes. “He posted a photo on his Instagram and then it got picked up by the tabloids. No doubt his father was thrilled.” She sniggered some more before gazing over my shoulder and smirking.
“Oh look. If it isn’t your future husband heading this way,” she told me gleefully.
My skin heated as I tried really hard not to blush. Even though my coffee was still too hot to drink, I swallowed it down anyway, wincing when it burned my tongue.
I couldn’t sit here. The minute Landon joined us, Eden would know exactly what we got up to earlier. She seemed to have a sixth sense about these things. After my last little outing to Landon’s house, she’d taken one look at me the morning after and rolled her eyes knowingly.
“A night out sounds good,” I told her as I grabbed my jacket. “Message me.”
“Will do!”
Landon saw me leaving, but he got caught behind a group of girls batting their eyelashes at him, hoping he might notice them.
It irritated me no end that girls threw themselves in his path all the time, but I reminded myself he wasn’t mine. Sure, we’d fooled around some, this morning being a case in point, but they were only casual hookups, no matter what spin he tried to put on them.
Landon would marry some well-bred young woman from an aristocratic family. A woman his father approved of.
There was no Landon and me. And there never would be.
The sooner we both understood that the better.
The sound of my door opening woke me up. Acting on instinct, I reached for the knife I always kept under my pillow, but a whiff of fresh pine and lemon told me it was Milo.
I rolled onto my back and stared up at him as moonlight painted the sharp angles of his face silver.
“Where did you go this week?” I rasped, still half-asleep.
He shook his head and briefly rubbed the bridge of his nose, not saying a word. OK, so he wasn’t in a chatty mood. Fine. It was the middle of the night and I was tired, so I curled up on my side and closed my eyes. The bed dipped behind me, but like always, he maintained some distance between us.
It should have been easy to fall asleep. Milo’s presence usually helped soothe me, which helped me sleep better. Only this time, sleep remained elusive.
I couldn’t help but remember how he looked at my breasts before Kyril blocked his view. Did he find me attractive?
It was hard to tell with Milo. He wasn’t physically demonstrative like Kyril or charming like Landon. Maybe he needed me to make the first move.
It was probably a dumb idea, but the fear of rejection wasn’t enough to stop me from trying. Sure, I knew he liked me, but did he like me sexually? Or was it more of a friendship kind of thing?
We could just be friends, but in truth, I wanted more from him.
Like I did with all of them.
Apart from Dar.
That stronzo had made it more than clear he hated me, so I had no choice but to respect his wish that I stayed well away from him.
His loss.
The more I thought about it, the more riled up I got. I needed to know where I stood with Milo. So I rolled over around to face him.
He lay on his side, still dressed, glasses on, staring at me. There was enough light in my room for me to see the outline of his face, but not enough to make out his expression. Did Milo not sleep? Was he a vampire?
That thought made me snort with amusement.
“Something funny?” he asked in his customary low, melodic voice.
“Not really. I was just wondering if you were a vampire.”
“Huh?” He sounded confused, which made me smile even more.
“You don’t seem to sleep much,” I explained.
He hummed in response and then spoke. “I do have trouble sleeping, but it’s usually easier for me to sleep during the day, so I often nap while the guys are in class.”
“What about your classes?” Surely he had to study too?
“I don’t really need to attend. I’m only here so I can be with my friends. If I took my final exams tomorrow, I’d pass easily.”
“So why don’t you take them early?”
“Because then I’d have to leave. And I’d rather stay for now.”
I’m sure to Milo it made sense, but if I was clever enough to earn a degree two years early, I wouldn’t be sticking around. But whatever. This wasn’t the conversation I wanted to have with him.
“Do you like me, Milo?” I asked carefully.
He tensed up but made no attempt to leave.
“Yes,” he replied in a voice so faint I had to strain to hear him.
“As a friend?” If he friend-zoned me, it would be fine. I already had Landon and Kyril. Juggling more than two guys was just plain greedy.
“No.”
Oh . Well, at least he was being honest. He probably saw me as a pity project. Or a curiosity.
Given the shit he’d witnessed so far, it was a fair assumption.
“Totally get it,” I muttered, squirming with embarrassment, grateful it was too dark for him to see my face.
“No,” he blurted. “I meant I see you as more than a friend!”
“Um, what? Like very good friend? Friend with benefits?” OK, so that was a stretch, given his issues around touching.
“More than that.”
He shuffled a bit closer. Not quite close enough that he was touching me, but close enough that I could smell the shower gel he liked to use and know he’d drunk coffee recently.
“How much more?” I felt bad pushing him, but my emotions were all over the place and I wanted to know where I stood.
He leaned forward, eliminating the remaining distance between us, brushing his lips across mine. Sparks flew and the chemistry that had been simmering for weeks exploded.
My lips parted for him. He hesitated, and I wondered for one awful moment if he’d flee my room in panic. But he rallied and pressed against me, deepening the kiss.
Our mouths moved in sync, exploring, testing the waters. Neither of us took charge. Milo wasn’t like Kyril, who needed to dominate every sexual encounter we had, or like Landon, who loved to tease me.
When we broke apart, Milo was almost as breathless as me. We lay side by side in the dark, staring at each other in wonderment. My heart pounded in my chest, and when I rested my palm on his chest, I could feel his heart thumping just as hard.
“I’ve never liked anyone as much as I like you,” he whispered. “I like you enough to want to touch you.”
“Then touch me.” I reached down to grasp his hand and placed it on my breast. He groaned. “I saw how you looked at me this morning,” I told him. “Did you want to touch me then?”
“Yes. So much.” He squeezed my breast though the thin fabric, testing the weight of it, brushing his fingers across my hard nipple. “You’re so perfect,” he said reverently, like I was the most exquisite woman in the whole universe. “Can I see your tits again?”
I almost laughed at the polite, hesitant way he asked, knowing full well that both Landon and Kyril wouldn’t have bothered asking. But this was Milo, and he was different in every way.
So I shifted and quickly pulled my tee off, throwing it aside. Then I lay back so he could see me better in the light from the window.
The air in my bedroom was chilly, but knowing Milo was looking at me made me heat up from the inside.
The area between my legs pulsed as Milo propped himself up on one elbow and stared at my chest like it held the secrets of the universe. He’d edged back slightly, so the only point of contact was his hand on my boob.
I didn’t mind; I understood his need to take small steps. He could take all the time in the world as far as I was concerned. Even if we never progressed beyond second base, that was OK.
We’d do this at his pace.