21. Emily
21
EMILY
A bolt of lightning and the accompanying rumble of thunder jolts me from my sleep. For a single terrifying moment, I think that I’m alone and Alla is standing over me like she had on that terrible night. By the time my heart calms down, I realize that it’s something else.
The light is coming from my phone on the nightstand by our bed, and as the screen lights up, the phone rumbles loudly against the wooden surface.
I look over at Konstantin. He shifts a little, makes some incomprehensible sounds softly, and remains soundly asleep. I feel a little jealous, and roll back onto my side.
The phone lights up and rumbles again.
Whoever it is, they must really want to talk.
It’s probably Nadia, I think guiltily.
I’ve never messaged her back about getting dinner since the last time I’ve called her all those weeks ago, and I’ve been woefully absent in my duties as maid—well, matron—of honor. Even though I know Nadia will have done a great job with all the small details, there’s the inevitable rehearsal dinner that’ll be coming up .
Sighing loudly, I sit up and pick up the phone just in time as another message rolls in.
My heart jumps to my throat when I see that it’s not Nadia who’s been texting, but my mom.
In fact, she’s been texting practically non-stop, and there’s even a missed call in there.
Scrolling to the top of the chain, I open the text with trembling fingers.
MOM: Dad and I got a letter from that junkie’s life insurance company.
MOM: The letter said YOU’RE the designated beneficiary.
MOM: Not sure why she chose you and not us, but call us. We need to talk.
MOM: Emily, answer me! This is important!
MOM: Call me when you have the chance!
MOM: Emily! You need to call us.
MOM: Why aren’t you picking up? This is important!
MOM: Is there something you’re not telling us, sweetie?
MOM: Are you ignoring me? What’s going on?
MOM: If you don’t call me back, we’ll just have to drive to you in the morning and talk about this in person, young lady .
Panic washes over me as I read that final message. They still have no idea about my expulsion. And from the way they’re texting me, it doesn’t seem like they’ve bothered to reach out to Phil, who would’ve sold me out in an instant to them.
Thank God for small miracles, I guess.
I look back at Konstantin and the warmth of our bed one more time, and decide that this is something that can’t wait. Swinging my legs over the edge, I rise up and gingerly walk out of the bedroom into the hallway.
The guard outside gives me a nod. “Emily Samovna.”
“I need a moment alone for a personal call, please.”
“Of course.” He inclines his head and walks away. Not necessarily out of eyesight, but far enough away that I don’t think he’ll be able to spy on me.
Not that it matters at this point.
Scrolling to my mom’s number, I sigh and hit the call button.
She picks up almost immediately. “Finally, Emily!” She sounds exasperated. “I was starting to worry.”
Somehow, I doubt that very much.
Apart from the first time they called me to tell me of Olivia’s death, the only other time they’ve even bothered to reach out was to demand why I haven’t forwarded them any information about her life insurance.
If they were really worried, they would’ve reached out. They would’ve asked how I was doing now that my sister— their daughter—is dead.
“This is something we expected from that junkie,” Mom continues. “Not you.”
I close my eyes in anger.
There it is .
Even as they’re getting ready to loot Olivia’s grave, they have to throw in just another dig at her.
But I don’t say a word to rebuke Mom. Instead, I keep my voice as calm as possible and ask, “What do you mean I’m the designated beneficiary?”
“That’s what I’m wondering as well,” Mom says. “Dad and I are confused that she would designate you . It just doesn’t make sense.”
Maybe it’s because you never bothered to show her that you might’ve actually gave a shit about her … I think angrily. But again, I keep that to myself.
It’s nothing that I haven’t tried to tell them time and time again. And each time, they’ve shut it down.
“Anyways,” Mom says. “But Dad and I really want to talk to you about this. Have you gotten any money in your account yet?”
“To be honest,” I say. “I haven’t even checked. I’m …” I pause, wondering if I can even tell them the truth.
If I do, it’ll just invite another barrage of questions.
So, I choose the convenient lie instead.
“I’m still in New York.”
“What?” Mom exclaims. “Why? Don’t you have exams?”
“Exams are done, I’m just waiting on results,” I keep lying. “So I’m just sticking around New York for Nadia’s wedding. I’m her mat—” I stop myself just in time. “Maid of honor. I can’t just leave.”
“Nadia …” Mom draws the name out. “Who’s Nadia again, sweetie?”
Anger stabs at my side. It takes a miracle for me to not start yelling. “She’s my best friend, Mom. From college. She came to visit me summer of my sophomore year.”
“Oh,” she says. “I guess I must’ve forgotten. Anyways, maybe we can come to New York. I know, it’s a long drive, but I was thinking that maybe Dad and I can book a flight. And then you can reimburse us with that junkie’s money when we arrive. Maybe even go to a fancy restaurant while we’re there.”
My mouth falls open in shock. I don’t know what I expected, but it isn’t this.
The callousness of how my mom is talking about Olivia’s money—money that was made on her death—without nary a word on how she died … It’s beyond anything that I’ve ever experienced.
“We thought that maybe she’d show us a little gratitude,” Mom barrels on, oblivious to my own silence, “for all the years of putting a roof over her head while she did everything possible to ruin us. I get that you’re the beneficiary, but it should be us, you know?”
I rub my eyes; all hopes of sleep have now been chased away. “Mom, it’s late. Can’t this wait until morning?”
“Late?” she asks. “Emily, it’s only seven PM. Well, eight for you, I suppose.”
“We’ve been busy all day with wedding preparations,” I say, silently kicking myself for not remembering there’s a much bigger time difference between Wisconsin and Croatia. “Look, it’s been exhausting on my end, and I know you want to talk about Olivia’s life insurance and the money, but … Mom, please.”
“Okay, okay.” She sighs and I can hear her eyes rolling. “I get it, I’m being a burden to you right now. But the money is important. Your dad and I could really use that cash right now. And I just thought that you might understand that.”
“I do, mom, but … I have other people who need me right now.”
“Why are you being so selfish? Can’t you see how important this is to us? ”
Those words cleave at me and I find myself leaning against the wall, blinking fiercely as tears rush to my eyes. I’m being selfish? I want to scream at her.
“Is it because you want to keep this money for yourself?” she asks accusingly. “If you do, just say so, sweetie.”
“N-no,” I stammer. “No, I don’t want to keep this money.”
“Then don’t you see how much useful it would be for me and Dad to have it?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, sighing. “I do.”
“That’s all I want to hear, sweetie,” she says. “Look, if you’re tired, we can pick this up tomorrow morning. Or better yet, Dad and I can book the flight for tomorrow. Who knows, maybe there’s enough money in that junkie’s payout that we could fly first class. Just to see what that feels like.”
My eyes fly open. “No!”
“You’re right,” she says. “First class is a ridiculous idea. We can fly economy.”
“No, I mean, don’t come tomorrow. I’m going to be busy.”
“With what? What else do you need to do with this wedding?”
“Nadia needs me, okay?” I push myself off the wall. “She’s more stressed than I am and as her maid of honor, I need to help her make sure that everything goes smoothly! So, if you can do me just this one single tiny little favor. Please, please, please don’t fly in tomorrow!”
From the corner of my eyes, I see the guard down the hallway snap his attention towards me, and realize that I’m speaking at full volume now.
Shit … I glance back at the bedroom door. Did I wake Konstantin?
“When is the wedding?”
The question catches me off guard. I quickly try and run through my head just what date it is, but time seems to have lost all meaning since Konstantin saved me in Olivia’s apartment. Pulling my phone away from my ear, I quickly bring up the calendar app and my eyes widen when I realize how close it is.
“It’s in four days.”
“Alright then,” Mom says. “We can come to New York. And it’ll be quick, Emily, I promise. We can come in, see you, talk about the money, and then you can go help Natalia?—”
“Nadia.” I correct her.
“Yes, yes, Nadia,” Mom says dismissively. “You can help her with the rest of the wedding. In fact, I’ll book the flights now, and we’ll see you soon, sweetie!”
“No, you don’t need?—”
“Oh, don’t worry about the cost, sweetie,” Mom interrupts me. “You can pay us back later when we see you.”
“That’s not what I mean!”
“Look, take care of yourself, and obviously do your best to help Natalia.”
“Nadia!”
“Sorry, Nadia,” she says. “But it’s good to finally hear back from you, and I’m so glad that you’re in agreement with us about the money. Rest up, sweetie. We’ll see you soon!”
Before I can say anything, she hangs up the phone. I stare at the screen, blinking as my jaw hangs open.
My parents are coming to New York.
But the mere thought of New York suddenly reminds me of a different conversation, one I had with Konstantin told me when I first brought up the issue of Nadia’s wedding to him.
Konstantin told me that he can’t go to New York due to protocol … And if Domenico is still out there, I think, th ere’s no way I’ll be allowed to travel to New York alone.
Especially now that we’ve both confirmed that I’m pregnant.
Suddenly, reality starts closing in. All of the problems that I had temporarily shoved away when Konstantin took me away have returned with a vengeance.
My head starts spinning, and I find myself slumping down the wall.
Nadia …
I run my hand along my face, and stare up at the ceiling. I need to call her. I need to apologize.
Most importantly, I need to tell her the truth.
About everything.
Like Mom, Nadia picks up on the first ring.
“Hey Nadia …” I say softly before she even says hello.
“Emily.” Concern instantly slips into her voice. “Is something wrong?”
“I …” I look up at the ceiling again, blinking fiercely as I consider what I’m about to say. “There’s something you need to know …”
“Of course,” she says. “Anything.”
“Nadia.” My nose stings from the tears. “I don’t think I can make it to your wedding.”
Her silence is damning, and a moment later, she asks softly. “Why not?”
I look down, no longer able to stop the tears from falling, and start slowly explaining to everything that has happened since our paths separated in Italy:
Everything, from the moment I first walked into Olivia’s apartment, to how Konstantin rescued me from a man that tried to kill me, and all the way to the fake marriage that has become all too real.
I don’t tell her some of the other details, like the truth of what happened to Olivia, the money, or why Konstantin found me in her apartment. I certainly don’t tell her anything about my ordeals on Capri, or of the sadistic torture I suffered at the hands of Alla.
And then, I tell her the final bombshell. “I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what? ” Nadia screams on the other end of the phone.
Pulling the phone away from my own ear for just a moment, I put it back against my ear after she’s done screaming. Whether from shock or from happiness, I can’t tell. Maybe both.
“But … that still doesn’t answer the question of why you can’t come to the wedding,” she says once she calms down. “Pregnant women can still fly until they’re around seven months or so, don’t they?”
“Yes, but I don’t know if I can tell this next part to you.”
“Why not?”
“I …” I finally look up, and my heart leaps to my throat when I see Konstantin standing at the door looking down at me.
How long has he been there?
He hurries over when he sees the way I look at him and kneels down when he gets close, concern swimming in his eyes.
I mouth Nadia to him silently, and he nods.
“Emily?” Nadia asks. “Are you still there.”
“I am,” I say. Then, hesitantly as I look at him, I add, “I’m not sure if I can tell you why I can’t come.”
Konstantin takes my free hand and laces his fingers into mine. Without breaking eye-contact with me, he gives me a small nod and whispers. “She deserves to know, Kitty Cat.”
My lower lips tremble, and I realize that he trusts me with the entire fiber of his being. I also know that if I tell Nadia the truth, she has the power to bring down the relentless force of the law on his head.
Giving him a nod, I start speaking again. “Because Konstantin isn’t just an ordinary man, Nadia.”
“How so?”
“He’s …” I start, but the I feel my tongue gluing itself to the roof of my mouth as I look back into his eyes. They’re still ice-blue, but there’s no coldness in them right now.
Instead, all I see is an endless warmth radiating from the depth of his soul for me.
“Go ahead,” he urges me, whispering. “Tell her.”
“He’s a pakhan,” I say. “Of a Russian bratva.”
“I don’t know what any of those words mean, Em.”
“It means that he’s a crime boss, Nadia,” I explain. “That’s why he can’t go to New York.”
Finally saying it out loud like this feels like lifting a thousand tons from my shoulders. I feel lighter than ever as I speak.
Nadia stays silent on the other end. All I hear is my own heart pounding in my chest. Does she hate me for keeping this from her? Does she hate me that I’m forcing this huge change in her plans at the last minute? Is this the end of our friendship?
“But he came to New York once already, didn’t he?” she asks softly. “And I still don’t understand how does that stop you from coming?”
“He already violated protocol when he showed up last time trying to save his sister from a rival crime boss.” I close my eyes, and the tears stream down my face. Konstantin reaches up and wipes it away, but more take their place. “And now all of the other bosses in New York are watching his every move. I’m sorry, Nadia. I really wish I can change things.”
“You don’t have to apologize to me, Emily,” she replies. “But can you tell me something? Just so that I’m clear.”
“Anything.”
“Does he love you?” she asks.
Konstantin’s hand is still cradling my face, and his thumb still gently wiping away every new tear falling from my eyes.
“He does,” I say.
“And do you love him?”
“I do.”
“Then that’s the only thing I need to know.” Nadia’s smile can be heard through the phone. “You’re pregnant with his baby, Em. There’s no way he can just let you go to New York without him to keep you safe. I totally get it. Don’t worry about it. I can bully Carla or Meghan to do the speech on your behalf.”
“I’m sorry for doing this to you, Nadia, I’ve been a terrible friend.”
“Emily, stop it!” she says. “What did I tell you back in Italy?”
“You told me a lot of things back in Italy,” I say. “You’re going to have to remind me.”
“I told you,” she says. “To be selfish, for once in your life. And I’m telling you that again.”
“But—”
“No buts!” Her voice hardens. “You’ve been through so much in the last few weeks, far more than most people will have ever gone through in their whole lifetimes! Yet in spite of all that, you are still thinking about taking care of everyone else before yourself. I won’t lie and tell you I’m not sad that you won’t be here. But if this is what it takes for you to stay safe, then I’ll accept that. And if I can, so can you!”
“Nadia, I?—”
“Don’t try and apologize again, Emily,” she says.
“I’m not.” I muster a weak smile. “I just want to tell you that I love you.”
“Love you too.” Her voice softens. “I’ll remember to send you a disgusting number of pictures.”
“You better.” I tell her. “Take care of yourself, Nadia.”
“You too, Emily.”
When I hang up the phone, Konstantin immediately pulls me into his warm embrace.
That’s when I finally start bawling—deep choking sobs that wrack my body—while he strokes my hair.
“She told me to be selfish,” I stammer when I finally gather myself and pull back from his embrace. “But what if the selfish thing I want is to go to New York? Because it’s not just Nadia …” I say. “It’s also my parents. They’re also coming to New York, and I have to see them.”
He nods. “If you need to go to New York,” he says with conviction. “Then we’ll go.”
“But …” I say. “What about the Bratva? What about protocol?”
“What’s the point of being an all-powerful pakhan,” he tells me, “if I can’t break some silly protocol to support my wife?”