41. Emily
41
EMILY
I am so fucked in the head.
That’s the only thing I can think as I stare out the window, recalling the words I screamed at Konstantin in the vineyard.
But more importantly, I think about how I told him I was a whore.
And he did nothing to chase that thought from my mind.
I’ve never said anything like that to anyone before. Yet in the aftermath of my own terrifying encounter with Alla, and with the grapevines all around us, those words had come so naturally.
Just thinking about what we did sends a fresh shiver running through my spine. Wetness collects between my legs and I squeeze my thighs together.
I hate that he can still cause this reaction out of me, even as he proves again and again that he doesn’t care about me.
He’s just trying to put a baby inside of you to get that signet ring from Alla , I tell myself.
I close my eyes, recalling the way his eyes had drilled into mine as he fucked me in the vineyard, and how his cum flooded me. I told him to fuck me again when we came home, and he did. And then one more time in the morning.
Each time, I held him close and let his cum flood my womb.
Each time, I clung to him to keep him inside, not daring to let a single drop spill out.
Because I know the consequence that awaits me if Alla were to find out that I did anything other than that.
My fingers fumble at the hem of my dress, tugging at it until the threads start coming loose.
You agreed to this, remember? I tell myself. You agreed for him to use you. You agreed without realizing just what it fucking meant.
I close my eyes as the cool night breeze kisses my brow.
Babies …
My voice starts to change in my head until it sounds nothing like me anymore, and more like Alla.
That’s all you’re good for, you stupid little whore.
The door creaks open, saving me from my own spiraling thoughts. I turn and catch sight of Konstantin. There’s a slight smile on his face. He’s standing up just a little straighter and taller than he usually does, and his wide shoulders are squared.
He looks absolutely beautiful and perfect. But the words I heard him say through the door the other day refuse to leave my head. I have to remind myself that beauty is clearly something only skin deep even as my heart threatens to soften at the sight of him.
Silently, I touch the ring on my finger.
Just because I’m wearing this ring, doesn’t make me one of them.
“He’s found her,” Konstantin says as soon as he closes the door. “Sima knows where Alisa is!”
“That’s wonderful,” I say, my voice flat and emotionless. “Is she alright?”
“I don’t know yet. But it’s going to be over soon, Kitty Cat.” He approaches me and takes me into his arms, overwhelming me in his scent of soap and aftershave as he kisses me. As his tongue sweeps into my mouth, I smell something else. Something oddly familiar. A light scent of honeysuckle and brown sugar.
It’s only when we break apart that I realize that I was tasting myself on his lips.
This is it, Emily … I think to myself. This is the part where he’ll finally break your heart.
“So …” I ask. “What happens next? Are you going to rescue her?”
“Yes.” He nods. “And after I rescue her, we can go back to the States. Together.”
A shiver runs down my body. “What happened to you not being allowed to go?”
“That won’t matter anymore.” He doesn’t let me go. “I plan on killing Domenico and every man of the Ferrata Mafia when I rescue Alisa. I’m going to break their power. Once that’s done, it means I can negotiate with everyone in New York to allow me to go. Then I will give you what I promised”
Ah yes… what I want. Does that even matter anymore?
“We can avenge Olivia, together,” he says.
His enthusiasm is almost believable. And for a reckless moment, I almost believe him.
“And what happens after that?” I ask softly.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean us.” I continue. “What happens after you avenge her for me?”
“I …” he hesitates as he searches my eyes. “I don’t understand. We stay with each other, you and I. We’re married, remember? You’re my wife, Emily.”
Wife …
I can’t hold it back anymore. I have to tell him. If I don’t, it’s going to just eat me up alive.
“What if I don’t want to be your wife anymore.” I tell him.
“What?” he asks harshly. “Why?”
“I heard you,” I say before I can stop myself. “Through the door of your office that morning after Sima called you away.”
His face suddenly blanches. “What did you hear?”
“I heard you tell the truth to him,” I snap. “What did you say? The only way my grandmother will release my inheritance is after I put a baby in Emily’s belly? That’s why you asked me to be your wife, isn’t it? So you won’t feel guilty after you finally knock me up!”
“Emily, it’s not what you think!” He rakes his fingers through his hair as he grows more agitated.
“Don’t fucking lie to me!” I shout as the tears well in my eyes. “This was what you wanted for me from the very start! You and that grandmother of yours!”
“What?” His hand stops moving.
And that’s the part that scares me the most.
His sudden calmness tells me that I just crossed a line.
He approaches me, like a predator stalking his prey, until he becomes the only thing that I can see. His icy blue eyes drill into mine, and suddenly, I feel my knees buckling. But he won’t let me go, and I know that no matter how hard I fight him, I can’t break free.
“You were conspiring with your psycho grandmother from the very beginning.” I square up and tell him. “That’s why you never answered my questions about babies when I first asked. This whole thing was just a good cop, bad cop routine that the two of you played to perfection.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he snarls, and I realize I’ve said too much.
I can’t take back those words. But I also can’t tell him everything.
I can’t tell him of how Alla’s guards stripped me before her and held me still while she looked me over like a horse on auction.
I can’t tell him of her threat to kill me if I don’t get pregnant.
So, I settle on telling him just enough.
“She caught me listening outside your door,” I snap, as I fight back the tears threatening to leak from the corners of my eyes. “And she made me confess that I heard. As once I did, she ordered me to march back in your bed, spread my legs like a good little whore, and keep them spread until I’m pregnant with your baby. Because that’s all I am to you, right?”
“Is that why you were acting the way you have been for the last few days?” His grip relaxes just enough for me to wrench my jaw away. “Because of her?”
“Don’t pretend like you didn’t like it.” I hug myself, and angrily wipe at my eyes. “Don’t pretend like that wasn’t what you wanted from the very beginning.”
“Emily, that’s not true!” He bellows, and I flinch from the intensity of his roar.
“LIAR!” I scream. “Stop lying to me, Konstantin, and just admit it! You never cared about me! The only thing you care about is that stupid ring and the stupid bratva! So why don’t you just drop the bullshit and tell me the truth!”
His eyes darken as anger, betrayal, and pain swirls in his eyes. He takes a step closer to me.
“Get the fuck away from me …”
“Do you really think that I don’t care about you?” He clutches my chin again; his eyes look dark and dangerous.
“That’s exactly what I think.” I glare at him. “So you can stop pretending and show me just who and what you really are.”
A foreboding look spreads across Konstantin’s handsome face. There’s no smile as he closes the distance. His powerful arms trap me between the wall and himself until there’s nowhere left for me to go.
And shamefully, I feel my pussy starting to grow wet.
“And what exactly am I, Kitty Cat?” he growls darkly. “Be honest.”
“A monster.” I breathe.
His hand moves along my thighs.
“And how are you so certain of that?”
Dread, excitement, and heartbreak mix inside of me until it comes alive in the form of a twisted creature that coils its tentacle around the entirety of my being.
I should be scared of what I’m about to say, any normal person would.
I can still stop this. I can still step back from the edge of insanity that I’m about to throw myself over.
But I don’t.
“Because you have no problem hurting me to get what you want.” I breathe.
A thick finger runs under the hem of my skirt, and moves over the soaked front of my panties. I shiver, hating at how easily I’m reacting to his touch.
“Do you really think I can hurt you?”
“Yes.”
His palm cups my dripping hole, kneading my clit trembling with desire. The pupil of his eyes dilate until his icy-blue eyes are black as night while his hand continues to play with my swollen lips.
“Do you want me to hurt you?”
The answer comes easily and unexpectedly. “Yes.”
He rewards my words by quickening the way he massages my soaked pussy until my knees buckle against him. Leaning in so close that his face blocks out all source of light behind him until he looks like a demon snarling in my face, he asks.
“And how do you want me to hurt you?”
With an impulsiveness that can only exist because of my shattered heart, I move my hand down his chest, past the ridged muscles of his abdomen into his pants, and cup his massive cock, already hard and throbbing angrily in my hand.
“With this.”
He takes my hand in his and begins walking down the hall. His shoes brush lightly over the floor, silent as a bird’s wing.
He isn’t in any hurry. If anything, he seems to be walking slower than normal.
“Where are we going?” I ask as a heady mixture of doubt, panic, and excitement war for dominance in my head.
He stares straight ahead, his voice strained as he speaks. “You’ll see.”
The tension between us is thick enough to cut with a knife. His hand holds mine tightly, and I realize that he’s leading me into a section of the castle I haven’t been to before. He pauses to unlock a heavy wooden door with iron framing, waving me through into another hall. This one is darker, the lamps on the wall creating strange shadows that dance on the weathered stone.
We’re going down, I notice with a start. The floor slopes before becoming a stairwell. I begin to ask him where we’re going, but the words die in my throat.
It doesn’t matter where we’re going, I decide.
The air grows colder all around us. This whole area has an unsettling air to it. With every downward step, I can’t help but feel like I’m walking slowly toward the gates of hell.
Finally, we come to a stop. The door here is rectangular, the wood is faded, and missing the touch of care imbued into the rest of the castle. I have a feeling nobody comes down here much, if ever.
A shiver of dread rushes through me, followed by the most intense arousal I’ve ever felt.
Once upon a time, I asked him about dragging me down to a torture chamber and stringing me up until I do whatever he wants.
And just like my question about babies, he never gave me a real answer.
Something tells me he’s about to do both .
Silently, he unlocks the door with an ancient-looking key, and looks at me expectantly.
Rubbing my arms in anticipation, I step inside. When I see what’s hanging on the walls, I gasp.
Long leather strips dangle from wrapped handles tucked into wall mounts. A shelf with various angular and square blades laid out like doctor’s tools turns my stomach. The space is big, but there are no windows and shadows lurk at every corner. The only light comes from an old industrial lamp dangling over a lone chair in the center of the room.
“Last chance, Kitty Cat,” he whispers against my ear. “Once I close the door, there’s no turning back.” His large hands settle around my shoulder and his cock throbs against the small of my back. “Tell me again that this is what you want. Tell me again that you want me to hurt you.”
My hands close into fists by my hips. He’s giving you a way out. You can still say no .
“I don’t want you to hurt me,” I admit.
He stands up taller and starts to move. But instead, my own recklessness compels me to reach for his hand.
“I want you to destroy me.”