15. Tucker
15
TUCKER
M other. Fucker.
I’m halfway across the cafeteria by the time I have to pull up short, sure I must be seeing things. No way is Maya sitting at our usual table with Wren, Briggs, and even Carter. Since when? Why didn’t anybody warn me?
Then again, why would they have to? They don’t have the first fucking clue what went down with us. What’s still going down.
But she does, obviously. She has to know she’s the last person I’d want to see. The sight of her makes me recoil. Didn’t I do enough to her in her bedroom? What’s it going to take to get her out of my life forever?
Irritation prickles my skin, and a cold, sick feeling washes over me while my thoughts race. I thought she didn’t want anything to do with Wren anymore—at least, that’s how it was the last time I was with Wren at that party, before I went up to the bathroom with Tiana and made a big mistake. She was all worried and upset about Maya while snuggling with Briggs. What changed?
And why did it have to?
And why the fuck didn’t anybody tell me?
None of my questions are going to get answered when all I can do is stand here and stare like an asshole. As it is, a pair of girls walk past and giggle when they notice the way I’m stuck in place, probably with my mouth hanging open in surprise. It’s like the whole fucking universe is fucking with me. Making my life as miserable as possible.
Briggs finally manages to peel his gaze away from Wren long enough to notice me standing a few tables away with my tray in my hands. “Hey!” He lifts a hand over his head as if I don’t see him. Like I’m not standing here staring openly. “What are you waiting for?”
His question gets the attention of the rest of the people at the table, including the girl who threatened to ruin my life. She might not have come out and accused me like she said she would, but she’s been ruining my life a little bit at a time ever since. What do I have to do to get rid of her?
One thing is for damn sure. I’m not going to let her push me away from my own friends. By the time I continue crossing the cafeteria, I’m more determined, with my teeth gritted and my eyes narrowed like I’m going into battle. We’ll see which one of us belongs, and which one needs to find new friends.
Dropping into place, I slap my tray on the table hard enough to make Maya jump a little. “Did somebody’s food go bad? It stinks at this table.” Because fuck her. If she doesn’t feel like hearing what I have to say, she needs to find somewhere else to sit. What was wrong with avoiding us the way she has been? Sure, Wren probably insisted she sit with us, but she didn’t have to say yes. She knows damn well she’s not welcome.
Maya doesn’t say anything, avoiding my gaze as she picks at her salad. It’s Wren who surprises me by giving me a meaningful look full of… what is it? Disapproval? What the hell does she know about anything? She doesn’t, that’s the problem. She might think she does, but she doesn’t have the first clue.
Carter laughs it off before gesturing between the girls with a French fry. “Looks like our buddy Briggs is going to be way outnumbered at home now.”
“What does that mean?” At least looking at Briggs for an answer is better than having to look at that strawberry blonde bitch who doesn’t know better than to steer clear of me.
“We’re opening up one of the spare rooms for a new housemate.” He nods toward Maya while Wren puts an arm around her and squeezes.
“What?” I blurt out before I can get a hold of myself. And I thought it was bad finding her sitting at the table? “When did that happen?”
“We talked about it yesterday,” Wren explains. The way she’s talking to me kind of reminds me of the way I’ve heard Briggs talk to his little sister. Like she’s being extra patient. I’m not a fucking child. Why is she talking to me like I am?
“Maya needs a little help right now, and I’m lucky to have enough extra room to be generous.” Briggs’s eyes narrow just a little, like he’s warning me. Since when does he have any right to warn me? Like he didn’t practically invent new ways to bully Wren. I was there, and it wasn’t all that long ago. Where does he get off being self-righteous?
This is what I’m letting her do to me. I’m letting her poison me against my best friend. I need to remember I have power in this situation. But it’s practically impossible when she’s sitting there across from me, reminding me of everything I thought was possible and everything she truly took away from me. I haven’t been able to trust a girl since that threat she gave me. Ever since, it’s been critical that I am the one in control. I call the shots, and I don’t let feelings get in the way.
Still, as I start eating and do everything I can to ignore the conversation going on, I can’t help but wonder if there’s any place I can go now where she won’t be hanging around. I can’t even go to my best friend’s house without running the risk of seeing her and losing my appetite. I was actually hungry before I sat down. Now I can only pick at my food, seething silently.
“Whoops!”
My head snaps up from my food in time to watch Maya’s horrified reaction to having yogurt splashed on her shoulder and down her back by a smirking Tiana. “Sorry. I’m so clumsy,” she says loudly before sighing, shaking her head, and clicking her tongue in mock sorrow. “I hope I didn’t ruin whatever it is you’re wearing.”
She can’t stop there, of course. She has to glare at me to make sure I know she doesn’t regret doing it. Like she’s making sure I know I can’t tell her what to do.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Wren whispers, looking stricken as she grabs every napkin she can reach and starts wiping Maya’s bare shoulder. At least she’s wearing a pale blue tank top, so most of it only hit her bare skin, but still. I can imagine how nasty it would feel to have that dry on me.
Good. Let her be uncomfortable, let her feel nasty. It’s not like I’m going to congratulate Tiana for doing it, but I’m not going to give her shit, either.
“I’m going to try to clean myself up.” Maya stands, shaking her head when Wren offers to help her. “No, it’s okay. You’ll be late for class. I’ll be fine.”
“If you’re sure?” Wren grazes her lip with her teeth, her brows drawing together. “Call me later, and we’ll make more plans.” She follows Maya’s progress, frowning in concern.
“I better get moving, too,” I announce, shoving fries into my mouth without tasting them, then getting up and gathering my shit. “I’ll see you guys later.” I catch Briggs’s curious look out of the corner of my eye, but pretend otherwise.
Of course, I don’t go straight out of the cafeteria. Instead, I wander over to the bathrooms like I’m not in any hurry, keeping an eye on everyone around me to make sure they’re not watching too closely. When it looks like the coast is clear, I go straight into the girls room to find Maya wiping her arm and shoulder with wet paper towels.
As soon as she catches my reflection in the mirror, she growls. “Don’t even start with me,” she whispers fiercely as color blooms on her cheeks. “The least you can do is keep her the hell away from me. You don’t have to encourage her shit.”
Folding my arms, I remind her, “I didn’t encourage a goddamn thing.”
“You didn’t tell her what a bitch she is, either. Did you?”
Somebody has grown claws—or she remembered she has them. Either way, I don’t appreciate the attitude she’s giving me. Hasn’t she learned it won’t get her anywhere? What do I have to do to make it clear that I won’t accept this?
“Let’s get this straight. We’re not friends,” I remind her, my back to the door so nobody can come in and disturb us. I hear a couple of girls out there, having a conversation as they draw closer, but their voices go quiet when they nudge the door, and it doesn’t move. There’s a million bathrooms on campus. They can use one of them. This one is occupied.
“No kidding,” Maya grits through her teeth as she continues cleaning herself up. While I watch, she slides her arms free of the tank top straps, then turns the top around so she can see the back. Her nose wrinkles when she finds the stain the yogurt left behind. “What is in this for her?” I don’t think she’s even speaking to me. It’s a rhetorical question.
I kind of wish I knew the answer to that. I already made it clear Tiana was not to do this, but here we are. It’s almost enough to make me wonder if I have control over anything in my life. Like it doesn’t matter what I say or what I think. Everybody’s going to do exactly whatever the fuck they want, anyway.
“You know, this is all your fault,” I tell her, watching her eyes narrow at her own reflection. She won’t look at me. I should be glad, but all it does is infuriate me. Like I’m nothing—I’m nobody.
Just like she treated me before. After I thought we really shared something special. All she did was use me for a good time, then turn her back. And I’m supposed to feel sorry for her now?
“I can’t wait to hear this one,” she whispers, the corners of her mouth tugging into a smirk. “Please, enlighten me. What did I do to deserve this?”
“Pretty simple. You know Tiana doesn’t want you anywhere near me, yet what did I find when I walked into the cafeteria? You and Wren are just as close as ever, giggling and making your big plans to move in. Is there anybody’s life you won’t sink your claws into and find a way to ruin somehow?”
“I’m not ruining anything,” she mutters, her eyes meeting mine for a brief moment before returning to her stained clothes. “That’s all in your head.”
“Tell yourself that all you want. All I’m saying is, you want Tiana to leave you alone? Then you need to leave me alone. Find someplace else to have lunch—you did before you girls made up from your fight or whatever it was. Do it again if you know what’s good for you.”
“You know something?” Balling up the paper towels, she pitches them into the trash, then washes her hands briskly. “I’m sick of you deciding what’s good for me and what isn’t. I’ll handle things on my own, thank you very much.”
“You’re feeling pretty fucking independent for somebody who needs to run to Briggs for protection.”
“That’s my business, not yours.” Turning off the water, she snorts softly. “What, are you worried it won’t be so easy for you to climb in my bedroom window when I’m living with him and Wren?”
Bitch. Everything around me goes red. I can’t find my voice. I’m too busy trying to convince myself not to kill her.
In a moment of almost desperate self-preservation, I leave the room without another word, knowing it’s either that or doing something I might end up regretting.