107. Levi #2
Like a cord being plucked, vibration pours through me. It sends an electrical current spiraling through me and suddenly I am yanked into the confines of what I can only describe as clay.
Flesh.
Even as that electricity continues to pour through me, coupled with the intense cosmic knowing and multiversal love, I look down to find tattoo covered hands. Even as I am filled with overwhelm.
A single droplet of water splatters the back of one hand.
Followed by another.
Tears.
I look beyond my hands.
To abs, a dick, legs, feet, and the wet stone beneath.
Oh, god.
Gross.
Why am I in a meat-suit?
“Feels strange, I know.”
I straighten, and shift towards the familiar voice.
The handsome face that greets me sends an onslaught of memories pouring into me, and it’s too much to bear at once.
I feel like my brain is being pierced through with a dull blade.
I stumble and sway on my feet as dizziness and pain consume me, but strong hands grasp me; steady me.
“Easy there, princess.”
My eyes pop open and all at once clarity returns. The pain and dizziness lifts like it was never there in the first place. Azrael’s mouth tilts in a soft grin. That signature look of mischief twinkling in his eyes.
My mind is still reeling, still hovering between the only reality I’ve ever known, or could remember, until now, and the new reality that has been thrust upon me. Like the two hemispheres of a brain trying to reconcile the existence of the other.
And the fact that I now have to speak aloud to communicate...
“It feels primitive that I have to speak through... a fleshy hole in order to communicate.”
Azrael’s head tips back with laughter.
“I quite like your fleshy holes.”
I am stunned by the words, briefly, before laughter erupts from my chest. As our mutual laughter wanes, my mind returns to its attempt at trying to process what I am certain no human mind could ever possibly grasp, or effectively put into words, but could only be understood by experience alone.
Somehow, I intuitively know the answer, before I finish speaking the words.
“Where are we?”
“My mind. I guided you through my mental barrier.”
Holy.
Fuck.
“That was your mental barrier? I feel like I just fucking died.”
He shrugs.
“You did. Sort of. I’m a god of death. Why would you expect anything less?”
“And the purpose of this was... ?”
“You need to absorb my memories. So you can better wield and understand your magic, and mine, if there’s any of it left to give when we exchange blood.”
I shake my head in awe.
“Azrael, I don’t think you understand. My psyche, my entire being is forever changed.”
He gives me an obvious look. “That was entirely the plan, darling..."
He shifts, tipping his head towards a jutting cliff edge, and a crystalline sea stretching beyond the horizon—both of which I swear weren’t there a moment ago.
“How do you feel about going for a swim?”
My eyes narrow. “Why do I feel like I’m going to die again?”
He gives me a sympathetic smile.
I heave a sigh. “Fuck, is that really necessary?”
“I’m not sure how else you expect our souls and memories to merge with this fleshy barrier between us.”
His hand grasps mine and we’re suddenly standing at the edge of the cliff.
I’ve done enough HALO and HAHO jumps that heights no longer give me vertigo.
My gaze slides to the expanse of sea. Its waves are calm against the subtle breeze.
My focus sharpens when I see movement on the water and I realize there are subtle images filtering across its surface, shifting and changing with each ripple against the wind and the sunlight reflecting off the water.
“The easier you let go, the less painful it is.”
Already, I feel like my soul is being tugged towards the depths of the sea. The same panic from before trickles in, but this time I don’t resist. Like any HALO jump, you don’t overthink it. You just leap.
“Meet me on the other side?”
Azrael’s lips tilt in a soft grin as his eyes seem to devour me–not with lust, but an affection and reverence I’ve never experienced. “Always.”
He leans in for a kiss.
A grin splits my face as I tip backwards off the edge of the cliff. A bark of surprised laughter escapes him as I let out a whooping cry before twisting mid-air to dive into the sea that swallows me in one icy gulp.
In the same moment, time and space bleed away, replaced by the male that is one-third of my soul, and all of his memories.
Eons of them, etching themselves into the very molecules of my being; carving rivers of joy, suffering, hope, anguish, and power through my mind, my spirit as I am both the observer and bearer of that which no human mind can perceive.
My form folds in and out of being, leading countless lives that blossom into and wither out of existence, all while my soul persists and stretches beyond time and space like a multiversal blanket of love and yearning—just one of an infinite many that forms this unfathomable cosmic existence.
With every breath, my heart bleeds as everyone I know and love dies in one form to continue without me in another, and I am helpless to stop it.
All while eons of knowledge floods my mind like a dam bursting, pulverizing my former self and forming someone—something—new.