16
Ilona
Waking up to the smell of bacon was the only thing that made me not smash my alarm clock into pieces. The thought of Larz being the one cooking it downstairs was the only thing that coaxed me out of bed.
I may not have understood what she was, or how it worked, but something in my bones knew she was the one for me.
The aching pull I’d felt in my chest since the moment I got to Cutwood only got worse and worse until there was no space left between me and her.
When I was in Larz’s arms, the pull morphed into a protective warmth, and I knew I was where I was meant to be.
Going to work and listening to Bev talk was the last thing I wanted to do, but I also didn’t want to change up my routine.
I believed Larz when she told me I had nothing to worry about regarding what happened with Stellan, but I wanted to do my part to make everything seem normal and not bring any extra attention to myself.
I reluctantly slid out of bed and down the stairs.
Even fresh out of bed, Larz looked fucking amazing.
Her hair was up in a messy bun on top of her head and she wore nothing but a sports bra and boxers.
I wanted to drop to my knees and taste her again.
The idea of calling out sick was looking better and better.
“Good morning, beautiful.” I wrapped my arms around her waist, rubbing my lips over the rippling muscles of her back as she plated our breakfast. I could feel her skin heat, her cheeks tinting pink.
“Good morning, sleepy.” She turned to kiss my forehead before placing our food on the kitchen table.
I examined the smooth wood, completely free and clear from the blood Larz had spilled the night before. It was almost like it didn’t even happen. If Larz wasn’t standing in my kitchen with the shiny, puckering skin of a forming scar, I would’ve believed it was all just a dream.
Larz pulled me gently onto her lap, knocking the traumatic thoughts of the night before from my mind.
Everything felt instantly better in her arms. She kissed my shoulders between bites and fed me bits of her bacon, which was much crispier than mine, and successfully melted all the worries from my body.
She walked me all the way to work and promised to pick me up right after. With a few more forehead kisses and parting affirmations, I was feeling confident to take on the day. Until I decided to follow my routine and get some afternoon coffee.
I knew Stellan wouldn’t be there, and I needed a pick-me-up after my late night. But the second I stepped foot inside Roasterz, my heart stopped beating in my chest when I spotted two cops at the register.
I sucked in a breath, trying not to freak out. I couldn’t freak out. I walked slowly, taking my time to stand in line behind them. I stopped just a few feet back, far enough to be unnoticed, but close enough to hear what they were discussing.
“No,” one of the baristas said as they punched in the order, “she didn’t call in. But, I don’t think she was supposed to work today anyway.”
“Hmm,” the larger cop grunted, “well, she didn’t come home last night. Didn’t call. It’s not like her.”
What the fuck? Was this cop her father?
“Sorry, Deputy James, but we will have her call you if she comes in or if we hear anything. She probably just had a long night,” the barista winked and slid across the floor to the espresso machines.
The officers turned around, the one who I assumed was her father looked me up and down before flashing a surprisingly warm smile.
“I’m sorry to bother you, ma’am, but have you seen this girl anywhere?” He pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of Stellan. My stomach twisted in knots as I looked down at her smiling face. She looked so much younger and so happy. “She’s my daughter, works here most days.”
“Oh,” I choked out, “no, sir. I’m so sorry. I recognize her, but I haven’t seen her since the last time I was here at the cafe.”
His shoulders dropped as he replaced the phone in his pocket. “That’s alright. Would you mind giving me a call if you do?” He handed me a business card with his information.
“Of course,” I took it with shaky fingers, fighting with everything in me not to overexplain, a bad habit I’d had since childhood.
He nodded with another warm smile and both cops walked away to wait for their coffee.
I ordered and fled with my drink, praying the rest of the day would go by faster.
The equilibrium I’d created with Larz had all faded and transformed into panic again.
I needed her with me. I needed her to ground me.
As if she had felt my distress, Larz came waltzing through the bookstore door about an hour after I returned. Her presence immediately soothed me.
“So, I see the date went well?” Bev’s bony elbow stabbed into my ribs, her eyebrows wriggling suggestively.
I gave her a shy smile, opening my mouth to respond, but Larz was in front of me in an instant.
“What’s wrong, baby?” She rounded the desk and took me in her arms. Bev backed away, disappearing into her office, respecting privacy for the first time in her life.
“How did you know?” I sighed into her.
“It's the pull, when something is bothering you, I just know. Something told me I had to be here.”
With my face pressed into her chest, I told her about the encounter I had with Stellan’s cop father in the cafe. She listened intently, never once interrupting me or scolding me for being worried for nothing. It was such a refreshing change to be listened to and understood for once.
She stroked my hair, planting kisses into my curls. “Tell you what, after you’re off, I’ll tell you more about what I mentioned last night. It might be a lot to take in, kinda like,” she gestured to her body, “all this. But I promise you it will make sense, and make you feel a lot better.”
I nodded, “Okay, I trust you.”