Chapter 18 – VENOM
Chapter
Eighteen
VENOM
“Well, alright then.” I lean forward, forearms braced on my thighs, hands clenched so tight my knuckles begin to ache. “My mother was a hateful, wretched woman. She beat me for anything. For nothing. Just to bleed her rage out on me.”
I risk a glance at Ivy. She drops her gaze, pushes her copper hair behind her ear like she can tuck away her guilt.
“Ben got less.” My lip curls. “Always less. I used to wonder why. What was so wrong with me? Later I learned. Different fathers. Mine was a disgusting nobody, renting out a hole for the night. Ben’s?
Maybe she cared for him. Maybe not. Doesn’t matter now.
” I let out a low laugh, more breath than humor.
“Pain became a friend of mine early on. As did the creatures in the yard and the books I stole for my closet. I would spend my days reading, escaping to faraway places. Anywhere but there. Wizards. Giants. Wardrobes.”
The corner of my mouth curves up at the memories, at the comfort those stories brought me.
“That was my escape from the hell I was living.” My smile falters and jaw flexes.
“As I got older, the stories darkened. Same as my life. My mother started regularly selling herself for cash. Men came and went like smoke. Some patted my head. Some just smiled that sick smile on their way out. I used to think my mother was beautiful. Turns out she was vile and greedy. Greedy for money. For power. For more than she ever deserved.”
I stand and walk over to the small bar cart and pour myself a drink before taking a seat again in front of Ivy.
The whiskey burns as it goes down.
Doesn’t quiet the memories.
“When I was seventeen, she told me I was a man now. I didn’t know what the fuck that meant until Caroline walked in.
Sophisticated. Older. Not ugly but certainly not my type.
” I raise a brow at Ivy, and she presses her lips together.
I grin and continue, “She took me to Ben’s room.
Talked for a bit. Then she started touching me, touching me in ways I had never been touched before. ”
The glass sweats in my hand. I don’t look at Ivy.
“She kept telling me to relax, that I would enjoy it and how she was so thrilled to be my first. She told me how young and beautiful my body was as she removed my shirt and stroked her long-painted nails over me. When she pushed me completely down on the bed and undid my pants, I tried to stop her.”
I set my glass down and dig my fingers into my palms and swallow the lump in my throat.
I stare off at the bookshelves as I recall that night.
“I grabbed her wrist, firmly. She only seemed to enjoy that further.
With her free hand she began stroking me again over my boxers.
I couldn't control how my body felt. It was confusing. I just wanted to get out of there, get away from her and get back to my closet and escape into my books. I felt nauseous... yet parts of me were reacting as if I enjoyed her touch.”
I glance back to Ivy to see her reaction. Her lips are pressed tightly together, and her eyes are brimmed with tears. I close my eyes and take a calming breath.
“Eventually I let go of her wrist and she removed the rest of my clothes as well as hers. She used her mouth on me first.” I shrug.
“Sure, I had seen magazines and videos online that Ben had shown me over the years, but the farthest I had ever gotten with a girl was a kiss. My mother never allowed me enough freedom for anything more. I’m lucky she even allowed me to attend school. ”
Another bitter laugh escapes me. “So that woman, Caroline, she was my first. I had covered my face nearly the whole time her mouth was on me, trying not to feel, trying to think of anything else. It didn’t work.”
I tightly close my eyes, as the memories try to overwhelm me. I open them again to meet Ivy’s comforting green eyes. They settle something within me. She shifts, eyes glossy.
Ivy then stands, placing a hand to her mouth then to her forehead. “God, Venom. Was it over after that?”
“No. I thought we were done, but she wanted more. She wanted… everything.” I pause.
“And she got it. She climbed on top of me and took what my body gave her. When it was done, Caroline paid my mother as she told her what an amazing young man I was and promised she’d be back.
My mother looked so damn pleased.” I curl my lip in disgust.
“Once Caroline left, my mother told me to shower and get back to my room. It was my birthday, but Caroline got what she wanted, my mother got her money. And me? I got what little there was left of myself stripped away. And that was just the start. More women came. My mother’s pockets fattened. My anger did too.”
“Where was Ben? He was your older brother; he should have protected you!” Ivy says with clenched fists as she paces back and forth.
I stare at the shelves, but I see Ben’s back instead.
“He left when he turned eighteen. I begged him not to. Begged him to take me with him. He told me he couldn’t.
Called it kidnapping. Said he didn’t even know where he was going.
At least I had a roof over my head, he said.
I should be grateful.” The word tastes like rot.
“He promised he’d come back for me when I turned eighteen. He never did.”
“He left you there? He should have taken you with him! He knew what your mother was going to do with you next, what she was already doing to you! What an asshole! How could he leave his younger brother like that?!”
“Calm down and sit, beast. We’re letting the past go, right?”
She rolls her eyes, huffs out a breath and plops back down on the couch. “Why didn’t you just leave at eighteen too?”
Sighing, I say, “Truthfully, I’m not sure, darlin’.
I had barely seen the world outside of school.
I think I was more afraid of being alone in the outside world than alone in my closet with my books or in the basement with the critters I collected.
I was comfortable with what I was familiar with. If that makes sense.”
“It does.” She gives me a sad look. “So, what happened? You obviously got out at some point.”
I nod and stand, placing my hands in my pockets. “I was used for three years. During that time, something in me changed. Not only did my anger grow but so did my knowledge of the world, people and the effects of… poison.”
I shoot Ivy a wink. “The women were always so chatty.
I used it as an opportunity to learn things.
I asked questions. I had meaningful conversations.
It didn't take long before I was the one seducing and manipulating. They took from me, but I took so much more from them.” My grin is cold.
“One of them bought me a laptop. My first secret.
I did so much research, devouring everything I could.
I was addicted to knowledge. I planned, waited.
And when I was twenty, I killed my mother.
Ivy’s jaw drops.
“You can’t be that surprised, darlin’.” I grin.
“Oleander. Pretty flower and poisonous as hell. It was easy to find in Louisiana.” I shrug.
“And dear ol’ mother just so happened to have some shoved down her throat while I had her tied up one night.
I could have done it in a more discreet way, but I wanted her to know who was killing her.
I wanted her to feel powerless and scared.
” I circle Ivy, her eyes tracking me. “Over the years, I grew bigger and stronger, but she always seemed to still view me as a weak and scared little boy. Well imagine her surprise when I finally used my strength and overpowered her.”
Grinning wide at the memory, I continue, “I watched her die an agonizing, and quite disgusting death. Honestly, she might have choked on her own vomit before her heart stopped. Once she was dead, I untied her and carried her to her bed, tucked her in and placed more Oleander in a small vase on her bedside table as well as in her hand. And then I left and never looked back.” I wipe off some lint on my shoulder and meet Ivy’s wide eyes.
“The coroner called it suicide. I called it justice.”
“So, after that, you continued… killing… women?”
“I did. I made a list. Every woman who came through during those three years. They kept talking and I kept listening, taking notes. Names. Faces. Jobs. One by one, I hunted them down.”
“Did you get all of them?”
“All but one.” I stop, let the silence stretch, then lean in with a grin. “That’s enough for tonight.”