Chapter 22
TWENTY-TWO
LILITH
Dear Diary,
Do you think if I drank away the pain and confusion, it would all disappear?
Why won’t you answer me?
You’re a dirty slut, Diary.
xox
I’m sitting in the same bar I sat in over a year ago, where I used to come to watch him, drinking the same vodka. It feels like déjà vu. Except this time, I didn’t just quit my job and catch my husband cheating on me.
I hate my current job, but it serves a purpose right now, and that one purpose is earning money.
And even better, my husband is finally out of my life.
Although you could say I’m doing well on my own, I still think about Reon.
How can I not?
It’s been a week since I saw him last, and I haven’t stopped thinking about him. He’s like an insect that crawls inside your brain and burrows deep, making a home and not wanting to leave.
Pouring myself another drink from the bottle on the bar, I feel someone come up behind me. “I think you’ve had enough, don’t you?”
I close my eyes as my heart jumps and my thighs clench.
Did I manifest him into appearing?
Surely, I must have because that can be the only explanation as to why I’m hearing Reon’s voice right now.
He pulls out the same chair he sat in the last time we were here and taps his fingers on the counter.
“Apple crumble,” he tells the bartender, and I smile.
“I know you don’t like the espresso martini, so this one should taste good when you kiss me.
” I laugh and turn in my seat to face him. “How much have you had to drink?”
“Enough to think you aren’t real,” I answer, then lift my drink and take another sip. He reaches for my other hand, takes it, and moves it between his legs. I feel his hardness immediately.
“Is this real enough for you?” he asks huskily.
I squeeze his cock through his black trousers and nod, not bothering to move my hand even though several people are sitting nearby.
“I’m sure this is classed as cheating,” I say, eyeing him. Even through blurry eyes, he is delicious.
“Delicious?” he asks, smirking as the bartender brings his drink over. “Can’t say I’ve had a woman call me that before.” I pull my hand back, realizing I said that out loud, and he simply laughs before taking a sip of his drink.
“How did you know I was here?” I ask.
“Earl told me he saw you.”
“Earl?” I say, surprised.
“Yes, he works for me. And he remembers you.” His hand clasps around the glass, and I can’t help but remember how those hands clasped me so perfectly.
“So, you weren’t spying on me?”
He puts his glass down as I lift mine to my lips.
“Would you like it if I said yes?”
I shrug and say, “Maybe.”
He shakes his head and purses his lips. I want to taste his mouth.
“You can taste it. Just lean in,” he says.
“I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I seem to be making a habit of it.”
“You did, and it’s okay, Caterpillar.”
“I’m drunk.” I huff.
He removes the glass from my hand and places it on the counter. He then calls the bartender over for a glass of water before he studies me. “Why are you drinking?” he asks.
“Because I’m getting in touch with my emotions and all that shit,” I say with a sigh.
“How?”
I meet his eyes and ask, “Do you really care? Where is your pretty little blonde?”
“I’m not with her anymore.”
I don’t show my shock at his words, but my stomach clenches in response. “Did that hurt you?”
“No, it did not. It’s not her I want.”
My pulse beats loudly, and I wonder if he can hear it. “You don’t really want me. You want the version of me that was broken and fucked you all night.” Someone coughs at my words, but neither of us cares.
“Not that I don’t appreciate making you come three times in one night”—he places his finger under my chin and raises my face to his—“but it’s you I want. The way you fuck, the way you talk, the little bit of crazy you hold in your heart. I want all of that.”
“What about my bad thoughts?”
“I’ll take them and eat them up.” His finger drops from my chin.
“Well, I don’t want you,” I state, turning around in my seat. “It’s not healthy to want you. Wanting you will set me back.”
“Did Arlo tell you that?” he growls.
I scoff. “I like Arlo. Why are you so mean to him?”
“Because Arlo always has a reason for everything he does. I just haven’t worked out this one yet.”
“I’m his client,” I remind him.
“You couldn’t afford him, and he doesn’t do pro bono.”
I gasp. “Are you saying I’m broke?”
“You are, Caterpillar. You took nothing from that divorce.”
I smile, thinking about all that money my father left me. “It was all his anyway. I hated that house, so why would I fight for it? I kept my piece of shit car. That’s all I went in with, and that’s what I left with…” I pause. “Actually, I’ve been thinking of doing something new.”
“New?”
“Yes, it’s a subscription service where I earn money from subscribers.
” I look at him and smile. “Basically, people pay to watch me fuck or play with myself on camera.” I watch as his face morphs from confused to angry, his lips thinning and his brows pinching together.
I couldn’t do the waitressing work walking around naked, but I think taking the power and doing it where I feel comfortable will be completely different.
“I’ll pay you not to do that,” he growls. I brush him off. “I’ll pay you whatever they will.”
“I’ve already set it up. I need to work on my first video.”
“You’ve clearly had too much to drink,” he says, standing. “Let’s go.”
“You could be in a video with me. You could wear a mask and fuck me. The people would love watching you fuck,” I say with a smirk, reaching out and laying my hand on his chest. “Do you want to fuck me, Reon?”
“While wearing a mask?” He sounds confused but slightly interested, and his tone is tinged with curiosity.
“Yes, while I record it,” I explain, hoping to pique his interest.
“I’ll think about it…” he responds, his voice trailing off.
I hold out my hand and indicate for him to give me his cell. He raises a brow at me.
“Give me your phone,” I tell him.
He doesn’t question it and hands it to me.
I like that he is confident enough to do that.
Deven never let me touch his phone. I take his cell and walk into the women’s bathroom.
Going into the stall, I lock it in case he decides to come in.
Removing my top, I press record and prop it on the toilet paper dispenser.
I sit on the toilet and slide my hand down my neck and onto my bare breasts, pinching and rolling my nipples as I throw my head back.
I lick my fingers, sucking them into my mouth, and then I do the same thing again, moving one hand down to my nipple and pinching hard while my other hand massages the other breast.
I hear the door open, and footsteps echo off the tiles, but it doesn’t stop me from what I’m doing.
Instead, I trail my hand down to my skirt, stopping where the camera cuts off.
Smirking, I move closer to the camera so that only my face is in the shot and whisper, “How much would you pay to see the ending?” Then I press end, put my top back on quickly, and open the door to a lady washing her hands.
She eyes me but says nothing as I walk back out to find him sitting in his seat at the bar.
When I hand him back his cell, he looks at it, confused.
“What did you do?”
“Nothing,” I reply with a sly grin. “Care to take me home?”
He stands and offers me his hand. I don’t take it; instead I grab my bag and slide the strap over my shoulder.
I find his Porsche easily. It’s hard to miss, considering it’s parked next to my old, beat-up, piece-of-shit ride.
My car looks sad next to his. I grumble something as he opens the Porsche’s passenger door and ushers me inside.
When I’m seated, he leans down, buckles me in, pausing when the lock clicks, and looks directly into my eyes.
“Where is Maya?” I ask.
“Probably with her brother,” he replies, focusing on my lips.
“Why are you here, Reon?”
“For the simple fact that you are, of course.” He moves in to kiss me, but I manage to lift my hand in time to place a finger on his lips.
“I—” He cuts me off by biting my finger, taking it into his mouth before he sucks it.
His tongue does lazy circles around it before he pulls back.
“I had that finger on my nipples as I rolled them between my fingers and pinched them.” His eyes go hard as he stares at me.
“What are you and Maya now?” I question.
“Maya and I are nothing. We have never been anything. I only want you.”
“She seemed to think otherwise,” I say, remembering what she said when she saw me.
“It’s done. It’s ended. Now, your place or mine?” There’s a hint of urgency. He’s eager to move past the conversation stage and onto more important things.
“Mine.” I rattle off my address, my mind focused on what comes next.
He drives fast, and it isn’t long until we reach my new apartment. It’s not as flashy as my house with Deven, but it’s all mine. “Did you already know where I live?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“Hmm…” I get out before he can open my door. He walks over to me and stands right near me. I fish my keys from my bag before I spin around to face him. “You aren’t invited in, just so you’re aware.”
He licks his lips, and I want to let him in. Oh, God, do I. I want to let him in to play with me. Make me come three times in one night again. Fuck, that would be so good.
But I can’t.
I have to think rationally.
And fucking Reon is far from any rational thought process I might be having.
Even if my body craves him.
He reaches for me, and I step back.
“How long ago did you end it?”
“It never really started. I never fucked her, Caterpillar.”
“Have you fucked anyone since me?” I ask.
“No. I tried, though. I touched one woman, but when she touched me, I had to make it stop. It seems I enjoy the pleasure of your company above all others.” His jaw tics at his words.
“Good, keep it that way.” I turn to walk to the door, and as I do, he reaches for my hip and spins me back around, bringing me to him so our bodies are touching. He lifts his hand to my mouth, and his thumb pulls at my bottom lip. “When can I see you again?”
“Soon,” I say breathily.
“Give me a better answer,” he demands, his lust-filled gaze on my lips.
“A date. Tomorrow night.”
“Done.” He pulls away and strides to his car. When he reaches it, he turns and looks back. “Get inside, Caterpillar.”
I do as he says, opening the door and entering the building. When I shut the door, I fall against it.
I want that man.
What I had with Deven is nothing compared to how I feel for Reon. And I knew Deven a lot better. Granted, I didn’t think he would cheat on me. That one came as a surprise from left field.
Could Reon be the same?
I’m so close to falling for Reon, but I’m holding back, keeping a little piece of myself tucked away and hidden. What if he fucked around on me the way my ex-husband had?
I survived Deven just fine.
But something tells me I may not survive Reon.
I hate that those thoughts are even entering my head.
I hate that I even consider them.
Maybe I should let Reon kill Deven for all the thoughts he makes me have.
Just as I close my apartment door behind me, a knock sounds on it, making me jump.
“Hold on.”
Managing a smile, I wonder what Reon plans to say now.
Will I let him in this time? Possibly.
Pulling open the door, I’m not met with a stare that makes my heart miss a beat. No, I’m met with an animalistic, almost ferocious flare.
“Lilith?”
“Yes?” I say, looking at Soren. He hands me a letter, then turns and heads down the hallway. “What’s this?” I call after him.
“Don’t tell Reon. Let’s keep it a secret.” He isn’t asking; no, it’s more of a threat.
After shutting the door and locking it, I open the envelope.
Lilith,
You are cordially invited to an exclusive event.
Wear a red dress. And comfortable shoes.
It will be a pleasure for the Society to host you.
On your arrival, you will receive a down payment of fifty thousand dollars.
We look forward to seeing you.
The Creed of the Forsaken Society
.
A shiver makes its way down my spine as I see the date and time listed below.
And the feeling is not good.