Chapter 38
THIRTY-EIGHT
LILITH
He’s lurking in front of my aunt’s house. Linda is standing next to me, her hand covering her mouth as we stare at him through the window.
Reon is pacing back and forth on the sidewalk.
“I think you should talk to him,” she says.
“I don’t want to,” I tell her, shaking my head.
“Your father said he doesn’t blame him, so why do you?”
“He should blame him. He wouldn’t be where he is if it weren’t for Reon.”
“No, Reon followed orders, and that’s why he was involved.
Your father took a life, and he deserved to pay the price, so he is.
Don’t go blaming that man. If you can’t forgive, then it’s best you tell him, then leave all of this behind.
” She nods to Reon, who still hasn’t seen us.
My stomach feels empty at the thought of not seeing him ever again.
I spoke to my father and told him about Reon. At first, he was silent. Would he hate me for seeing the man who put him where he is? Just as we started to grow our own relationship?
I would hate that.
I have family now, and I’m growing as a person—more so than I ever did when I was married to Deven.
Deven said that when I married him, he was my life.
He said many things.
Many things that turned out to be lies.
But Reon tries to give me things, do things for me, not fill me with lies.
There is a big difference between the two, and I shouldn’t be comparing them. But it’s really damn hard not to.
“It looks like he pulled those roses from my bushes,” Linda comments, looking at her garden. “Oh, gosh, I think he did. Please, get him out of here before he picks more.” She gives me a pleading look. “I love you, but get rid of him.”
I sigh and reach for the door handle, but my hand feels unsteady as I turn it. The door creaks when I open it, and his head turns toward the sound. I step out and down the porch stairs, my bare feet hitting the cold grass as I tentatively walk toward him.
“Caterpillar,” he breathes out, and I just stare at him, not acknowledging his pet name for me.
“I went and saw your father today. I wanted to apologize to him for what I did, ask for forgiveness, and explain to the man I would do everything in my power to protect and love you for the rest of my godforsaken life.” My heart skips a beat at his words.
“I’m sorry I took that life away from you. I’m sorry I took him away from you.”
“I…” I shake my head. He steps forward, offering me the roses. When I don’t take them, he lifts is other hand. In it is a dead butterfly encased in a square of glass.
“I want to keep you, Caterpillar. I want to keep you so badly my head hurts, but I won’t keep you if you don’t want to be kept.”
The roses fall from his hand as he lifts the butterfly higher. I see blood on his palms from the thorns, but it does nothing to stop him.
“I want to give you something.” He looks up from the butterfly and reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a simple gold ring, then just stares at it, not handing it to me. “The stone is a ruby… It’s red, your favorite color,” he says quietly.
“Reon—” I start, but he shakes his head, silencing me.
“I want to spend my life on the Hunt with you. I want you to want me, Caterpillar.” He drops down to one knee. In one hand, he holds the butterfly, and in the other, the ring. All I can do is hug myself and stare at him.
“I fucked up, majorly. And I want to mate with you for our entire life, like butterflies.” He pauses, then adds, “If you tell anyone I did this, I’ll kill them.”
“Don’t you mean you’ll kill me?” I ask, and then he stands and lifts my chin with a gentle finger.
“No, never,” he insists. Then he spins in a circle, faces me once again, and grabs my hand, spinning me away from him and then back. I feel the ring between our palms.
“What are you doing?” I ask as he pulls me to him, holding the butterfly now at my back in his other hand.
“Female butterflies require the male to do a dance before they let him near them,” he explains, reminding me of what I told him.
“You’ve been inside of me, Reon.”
He rocks our hips as he leans forward. “And I plan to be again, but I’m making sure we do it right this time.”
“You think we can make things right?” I ask.
He drops to one knee again, leaving me standing here, not sure what to do. “Yes. You may already be my wife, but I would like to see you in a red dress as you walk down the aisle to me.”
“Red?” I lift a questioning brow.
“Yes, red. And I plan to let you fly with me, sit on my lap in the cockpit, and fuck me however you like it. I plan to pull your hair, smack your ass, and tell you what a good girl you are if that’s what you need. Caterpillar, tell me you want the same thing.”
“I…”
“Do I need to dance more? I’m terrible at it, but for you, I will.”
I can’t help but laugh. “I mean, you did give me my ex-husband as prey for the Hunt. I think that was one of the best gifts I have ever received.”
“I hated him,” he growls. “But I think I fell in love with you when you first spoke to me in that bar. And I’ve loved you ever since then, even though it’s been over a year. Even when you hated me, I loved you.”
“Love is a big word,” I say, staring down into his eyes. I give him my hand, and he looks at it, confused, before he takes it and kisses my knuckles. He then slides the ring onto my finger. It fits perfectly.
Standing, he wraps his arms around me and brings me closer, locking his eyes on mine.
“You’re coming home with me,” he states before his mouth descends on mine with a venomous kiss that I know will haunt me for the rest of my life.
That’s what happens when you let a man you love kiss you.
His love feels good. He feels good. He loves me, and I’m pretty sure I love him too.
No, I am sure.
No matter how hard I try to tell myself otherwise, I’m sure I love him.
* * *
“Change it,” he says, carrying my bags into his room. “Change it,” he repeats as I stare at an ugly painting hanging on the wall that looks like someone spewed on it, my expression giving away my thoughts.
“What?”
“You’re standing there with your nose scrunched up in disgust. You hate the painting, so change it.” His voice leaves no room for argument.
“Is it important to you?”
“You are important to me.”
I turn away from the painting to see him removing his shirt.
“Look, even though I know we’re married, I hate marriage,” I tell him. His back is to me, and all his muscles bunch, making his tattoos shift with the movement.
“Yes, I’m well aware of that,” he says, facing me as he removes his pants.
“We don’t have an ordinary marriage, Caterpillar.
We have one that will push boundaries and break the rules.
If you need to let off steam…” Naked, he steps closer and reaches for me as his hand brushes my chin and gently clasps around my neck, squeezing a little before I feel him even closer.
“I’ll get on my hands and knees and make you come.
And if that’s not enough, I’ll find a man so you can Hunt or a woman if that’s what you want.
I will do anything you want. Your last marriage was all about him, and while I hope you think about me while I’m inside of you, my fucking life is all about you.
I was bored before I found you, and I was getting sick of this thing called life. ”
His fingers leave my neck and go to the buttons of my shirt.
When he has the shirt unbuttoned, he slips it off and does the same with my skirt, letting it drop to the floor.
He tears at my underwear, then lifts me and carries me to the bed, throwing me on my back.
I bounce on the mattress before he climbs on and covers me with his body.
“Hello, wife.” He grins down at me, and the slight stubble of his jaw makes me think of how it will drag all over my body.
With one hand, he brushes my hair from my face and touches the necklace he gave me.
“Do you forgive me?” he asks as he leans down and bites my neck.
Then he peppers slow kisses above my breast, not yet touching where I want him to, always fucking teasing me.
“I’ll have to think on it,” I manage to say.
He moves his mouth lower, kissing around my breasts but not once touching my nipples. Having him so close and teasing is painful.
“How long?” he asks as he licks slow and steady circles around my nipple. I try to lift my hips because I feel him hard and ready between them. He holds me still with one hand on my hip, stopping me from grinding on him.
It’s torturous. And it’s hellishly unfair.
“How long, Caterpillar?” he asks again, and this time he lifts up, all contact with his mouth gone. My hands have been squeezing the sheets while he plays his little game.
“Fuck me now, Reon,” I demand.
“Is that what my wife wants?” He smirks as he says it and shifts his hips between my legs. He reaches down, and as he does, he grips one of my nipples in his fingers and pinches it, almost to the point of pain, and I love it.
“It is. Now, move.”
Wrapping my legs around his ass, he lifts, and his hand disappears from my nipple. When I feel him at my entrance, I lift up and take him inside.
“Needy,” he says, leaning down and biting my nipple.
I groan. I can’t help it. I love it when he’s rough with me. I love it when he fucks me, shows me exactly why I’m his. And he knows exactly how to do it.
I keep my legs locked around him as he thrusts his hips, his cock moving in and out of me.
“Tell me you forgive me,” he says on a deep thrust, his mouth leaving my breasts so he can bite my bottom lip. One of his hands comes to my throat, squeezing and making me lose myself in him.
I’m ashamed to think about how fast this man can make me come. How good his cock moves when it’s inside me. How his pelvis hits all the right spots on my clit when he pumps inside of me and squeezes my neck, which I know will be beautifully bruised the next day.
“Tell me, Caterpillar.”
“I forgive you,” I breathe out, and he wastes no time slamming our lips together before he fucks me into submission. And when I come, I can’t contain the scream that rips through my throat.
I’ve never felt so content or more seen in my life than I do with him. He sees all the bad in me, along with the good, and still comes back. Actually, he feeds it and lets it flourish.
It’s why I know once he fully has my heart… I’ll never get it back.
And I think I’m actually okay with that.