Chapter 42
Death didn’t feel much different from living, and wasn’t that a bitch?
Dying still hurt, especially my eyes when they opened onto a blinding light. A familiar light, like the habitat. Either I wasn’t dead or death was a continuation of life because I was fairly certain I was attached to a series of equipment in the med bay.
My abdomen ached, similar to having done far too many crunches and then getting the shit kicked out of me. First, my toes wiggled, then my fingers, some of that because a warmth encased my right hand, waking the limbs from a stupor.
Roys slept at an absurdly uncomfortable angle. He sat in a chair with his torso angled over the bed, a hand clinging to mine while his arm draped over my thighs. His eyes were swollen regardless of his bruising being gone.
“You’re awake.” Maddy swept around the privacy sheet encasing the bed.
She had an exoskin on and a blaster in her hand.
She didn’t miss my noticing them. “The pirates are locked up. Mance found the jammer. He says it will be about an hour before he can get our emergency beacon working. Until then, the habitat is on standby.” She smiled at Roys. “Most of us are, anyway.”
My throat was too dry to speak. Maddy grabbed a pitcher on the bedside table to pour a glass.
“Don’t sit up.” She tipped the water into my mouth. Never had water tasted so good. “We put you in the cradle three times over the last two days. You… it was bad. We weren’t sure…” Frowning, she sat the glass aside. Tears lined her eyes. “Only idiots get shot."
My voice came out cracked. “Gee, thanks."
I wasn’t the type to get shot. I ran. I hid.
I cowered. Cowards lived longer, and if this didn’t prove that, then I wasn’t sure what would.
But I didn’t regret what I did. If it had been Maddy instead, the guilt she told me to let go of would never have left.
I’d be more broken than I had been, and somehow, after getting shot, I felt more whole than ever.
Maddy settled on the side of the bed. Roys grumbled in his sleep. I squeezed his hand, and he settled. Dark bags surrounded his eyes and I wondered how long he had been awake, if he had been at my bedside the entire time worrying.
Was it fucked up that the thought of him worrying so much made me happy?
“The one who,” she licked her lips, “He was the one who placed the jammer. He was on his way back when we attacked. That’s how I missed him.”
“We missed him.”
“Thank you for…” She took my other hand and held it over her heart before leaning in to kiss my knuckles. Tears followed the curves of her cheeks. “Never do that again.”
“Let’s stay out of situations where we can get shot, and I won’t.”
She released a weak laugh that I tried to mirror, but my aching abdomen wouldn’t allow it. Roys shifted in his sleep.
“He hasn’t slept since. I haven’t either.” Her attention fell to my abdomen, hidden beneath the covers. Bandages hugged my torso, and an itching pain throbbed, no doubt dulled by the drugs that kept my mind loopy and body slow.
Roys hummed and rubbed at his eyes.
“I’ll get Tareik. He’ll want to look you over.” Maddy kissed my forehead. The action happened so swiftly that I couldn’t react. She stood, heading for the privacy screen.
“Give us a bit?” I coughed.
She nodded as Roys sat up. He squeezed my hand, frowning as if he thought nothing had changed.
Then his eyes, bloodshot and swollen, caught mine.
He looked an utter mess, exhausted, with a beard hugging his chin.
But he still made my breath catch, and if I had the energy, I would be kissing him senseless.
Instead, I managed to brush a shaking finger along the scruff of his jaw. “Have I mentioned how hot the beard is?”
Roys laughed, a broken yet thrilled sound.
He launched over the bed to take my cheeks, bringing his lips to mine when I couldn’t imagine it was pleasant.
I had been unconscious for two days. But Roys kept me there, as I had done to him, kissing and running his fingers through my hair as if he hadn’t felt me in years.
He tasted of cherries again, sweeter than ever.
As pleasant as it was to have his undivided attention, he was leaning on me, and my body shrieked.
“Heavy,” I said against his mouth.
Flinching, Roys leaned back, letting me take a deep breath. “Sorry, I,” he cradled my neck. The other hand balanced on the pillow. His forehead fell against mine. “I got carried away. We weren’t sure if you’d…”
Wake up. Survive. I shouldn’t have. My exoskin had taken damage, and that pirate got me in the abdomen. We were far from the habitat. The cradle had to be working overtime, and so did I, which had to be why I felt like such shit.
“I thought you were supposed to be the cowardly type.” Roys shut his eyes, where the tears collected on his lashes. All my body could do was reach for his waist where my fingers curled in his belt loops.
He wasn’t wrong. I always had been, maybe I still was in my way, but maybe I had changed, or it was all the drugs in my system, but I didn’t want to risk letting Roys go on without knowing the truth.
“I love you, and I guess that makes me want to be brave,” I whispered.
Those eyes opened onto a rich sea of otherworldly beauty. “You’re utterly maddening, do you know that?”
“It might have been brought up once or twice.”
“I love you.” He breathed in a jagged breath. “I love you so much, Ethin, and if you keep this up, I am going to require extreme dental work.”
“Oh?”
He tugged a handful of wrappers from his pants pockets. “There’s even more on the floor.”
I laughed, and with it came pain. Roys laid a hand over my chest while I struggled not to clutch my wound.
“I can’t lose you,” he cried and I kissed him.
“I’m not going anywhere. I fear you’re stuck with me forever, Captain.”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“You sure about that? I’m kind of annoying, a bit of a dick, and I will keep you up more nights than not.”
Roys laughed and I traced the smile lines on his face. He took my hand to kiss every knuckle, whispering against them, “I love you that way, and I love the idea of staying up all night with you.”
“I hear our patient is finally awake!” Tareik came around the sheet, and I wanted to punt the gooey bastard into another universe for ruining our moment.
Roys gave me another kiss, far too short for my liking, before standing up.
Tareik brushed by him, carrying a body scanner to rove over me.
“Good morning, Private Katlan. How are we feeling? Give me every detail and, Captain, please step back. You may stay if Private Katlan is okay with that, but I need space.”
“Right. Sorry.” Roys shuffled away from the bed, looking like a scolded child twiddling his thumbs. I wanted to drag him back onto the bed and kiss him senseless.
Tareik asked a series of questions and used a plethora of equipment to determine that another round in the cradle would be best in a few hours.
The cradle used our energy too, and Tareik wanted me to attempt eating proper food.
Tareik offered more painkillers before sitting the bed up.
The pain was little more than a dull throb, then I received a warning.
“I fear you will not be eating alone,” Tareik said and, upon his departure, a stampede emerged.
“Lucky, you… lucky jerk! You scared us!” Lilea threw herself at me. Roys caught her, much to the relief of my abdomen that may have exploded on impact.
“Let’s keep the hugging to a minimum and gentle,” said Roys.
“Ah, yes, only the captain may embrace him with passion and gusto,” Ryker teased, earning a sharp warning glare from Roys. Ryker, perfectly alright based on his teasing grin, raised his hands defensively. “Joking, sir.”
One by one, the group came in, Arana included.
She kissed my cheek where she whispered thanks into my ear before crying against Iylene’s shoulder.
Even Iylene had a wet sheen to their eyes.
Zavir had a box of tissues that he used to blow his nose and offered to anyone who needed them.
I would never say out loud how sweet that was because I would rather die than hear their teasing.
“We were worried, and I believe I can speak for everyone in requesting that you ensure nothing like this ever happens again. You’re not allowed to die on us,” Iylene said.
“Good to know because I have no intention to die any time soon.” Or eating, apparently, because I struggled to take more than two bites. Tareik assured us I could handle it, just take my time.
Drugged up or not, this was getting too emotional for my liking. I had a limit, and we were crossing it.
“Anyone want to catch me up on everything?” I asked. “Maddy said I was out for two days, that our beacon can’t launch yet and that the surviving pirates are here. Is that all?”
“Is that all?” Ryker repeated, having lost all the joy in his eyes. He, and the others, glanced toward the exit before he blurted out five words I never expected to hear: “An ambassador’s daughter is here.”
Good thing I wasn’t eating, or I would have choked on it. “Fuck off,” came out instead.
“Those shitheads were seeking one hit after the other. That’s why they grabbed me.
They thought my mom’s would pay good money to save me, or someone would pay good money to,” Ryker ran a finger over his throat.
“But the craziest part is that there were three other hostages with us, one of them being Kayleigh fucking Layne.”
My attention shifted between everyone before landing on Ryker. “Am I meant to recognize that name?”
Roys sighed. Maddy face-palmed. Lilea shook her head. Iylene took a note from Roys’ book because their eye twitched. Zavir snorted into a tissue, maybe a laugh or more crying while Arana hacked on her laughter.
“Fuck, Lucky, yes!” Ryker threw his arms in the air. “I know you have shit for brains, but Layne is the Ambassador of Donova, the head of the fucking Alliance territories!”
“Oh.”