Chapter Twenty-Three #2
I rolled my forehead on the glass to look in the other direction. The deli was three doors down. I’d called in the sandwiches before I’d left the store, figuring it would just take a minute to drop off the application. I didn’t think I’d be here so long. I should probably…
“Caitlin?”
My heart, my breath, my everything froze at the sound of Alex’s voice in the doorway. I whirled around, expecting it to be all in my head, and for there to be nobody at the door.
But there he was, leaning against the doorjamb, looking better than anything my imagination could conjure up.
“What…What the hell are you doing here?” I never responded well to surprise when it came to Alex.
He just raised his eyebrows, a small smile playing around his mouth. “I live here.”
“Here?” I pointed to the floor. “No, you don’t. It’s vacant. The lady downstairs told me…”
“Not here.” He crossed his arms over his chest and jerked his head to the left. “Next door. I just signed the lease yesterday.”
“You took the last one-bedroom?” That came out much more accusatory than I meant it to.
“Yeah, and I’m glad I did now.” He took a step inside, taking in the entirety of this studio apartment with one long look. “This place isn’t much bigger than my van.”
“Hey,” I said defensively. “Maybe I like the minimalist life.”
That made him laugh, if you could call a small smile and huff of breath a laugh. Silence stretched between us, and I thought about ice and ivy.
“What are you doing here?” I asked again. “When did you come back?” Maybe that was the better question to ask.
“I never left,” he said, and my mind went blank in confusion.
“Never left? So you’ve been, what, living in your van all around town for the past couple weeks?” Wouldn’t I have noticed a serial killer van lurking around the streets?
He shook his head. “Simon and Emily have a very nice guest room.”
“They…” I couldn’t believe this. I’d been mourning someone who’d been out of my life, when all this time he’d been here, at my aunt’s house.
How had I not known? Okay, I’d all but forbidden Emily from speaking Alex’s name at the bookstore, so maybe that was on me.
But between her and my mom, the both of them hustling me over here…
suddenly running into him here didn’t seem like an accident. “I’m gonna kill them,” I finally said.
“Don’t,” Alex said, as though it were an actual threat. “I swore them to secrecy.”
I had to laugh at that. Emily and secrets were not compatible. The past couple weeks must have been torture for her. But this still wasn’t sitting right with me. “Why secrecy? Were you hiding from me?”
“Not…really?” But it came out a question. “I wanted to wait till everything was set, and I had a plan. You like plans,” he reminded me.
I had to admit he was right. “Okay, then. What’s the plan?”
“Well…” He stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans, rocking on his heels. “Simon told me about this drama teacher job at the high school.”
“He did?” Did people really pinch themselves to make sure they weren’t dreaming? Because I was about to roll up my sleeve. “But you don’t want to be here. Remember? The whole nine-to-five that you hate so much? You said that kind of life was boring, and you didn’t want that.” You didn’t want me.
He nodded. “I did say that. But you didn’t say that the nine-to-five would come with you.”
“I tried to!” The words exploded out of my mouth as remembered frustration bubbled to the surface. “On the way home from Crownsville. I’d just decided to stay here and work for Emily, and I was going to tell you about the drama teacher job. But you didn’t want to listen. You said I was—”
“An office drone.” He closed his eyes, pain washing over his face. “I said that, didn’t I.” It wasn’t a question, but I nodded anyway. “That was a shitty thing to say.”
“Super shitty.”
“Super shitty,” he repeated with a firm nod. “I don’t have an excuse for that night. The day had been perfect, and then suddenly I felt like I was in the bottom of a pit, and I didn’t have any way out. I should have known. I should have listened to you, Caitlin. Because you’re right.”
“About what?” I narrowed my eyes; I wasn’t going to let him back in just like that.
“A life with you. That’s what I want. I can’t imagine a life you wouldn’t make better.
” The words fell between us, lingering in the air, and I forgot to keep squinting at him.
I forgot everything I was going to say. Alex took another step into the apartment, and I took a step toward him.
This place was small; it wouldn’t take much for us to meet in the middle.
“And you want to be a teacher?” It seemed too good to be true; I needed to be sure. He needed to say it.