Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Audrey
While I was being held captive, all I could think about was my pack. Now that we were reunited and I’d settled back in at ARC, all I could think about was playing music.
As soon as dinner was over, I snatched up my violin and hurried to the greenhouse. I couldn’t get what my pack had said out of my head. The thought of making my own music wouldn’t let me go.
Singing was in my blood, but until now, it had only been songs I’d learned through violin classes or ones I’d self-taught because I liked their sound.
Now was my chance to put my experiences into a song. One that conveyed all the feelings I couldn’t bring myself to say out loud. All the fears that had lingered, and the worry that someone would take my pack and safety net away from me.
A melody formed in my head, timid and lilting. It started slow and soft, like footsteps from a ghost, imperceptible to most until someone truly saw through the veil.
Then hopeful notes joined the song. They weren’t overly cheerful, still holding onto that first feeling of wanting to be invisible. Then it slowly shifted in a change that was so subtle it was unexpected.
I felt myself smiling softly as the song took shape.
The notes at the end swelled in a lively way, turning it into something closer to a love ballad, though it wasn’t just aimed at my pack. It was inward, too. A recognition of the strength that had gotten me through all those years, and through this latest capture.
The sound swelled to a new height before slowly returning to a happier version of that early shyness.
If I had the ability and other musicians at my disposal, this was the point where I’d overlay other instruments for a bit of an added punch.
Maybe if I ever did put these songs out on social media for the world to hear, someone else could fill in the blanks.
As I rested my violin back in its case, I could feel them. My entire pack was nearby, even though Ansel was the only one within view.
His presence was so constant that when I lost myself in my music, I was never surprised to find him there, drawing as he listened and offering silent company.
Existing together in quiet companionship.
“That was one of your own, wasn’t it?” Rydell asked as he walked closer and sat at my feet. His tattooed fingers found mine as I bit my bottom lip and nodded.
“It was beautiful,” he said. “Every time you play, I feel like you’re telling me a story. This one... I think this one was my favorite.”
“Sometimes it’s easier to put my feelings into a song,” I admitted.
“That makes sense,” Ansel said. “I do the same with art.”
“I got all of these for the same reason,” the alpha said, gesturing to the intricate art that lined his arms and hands. His muscles flexed and I had to catch myself before I doused this conservatory in my needy scent.
“Speaking of art,” I said, turning to Rydell. “Have you thought over the tattoo shop more?”
He glanced down at his tattooed hands, flexing them for a moment.
“I have and I think I’d like to give it a chance.
I just worry that I’ll scare off every customer.
People don’t like dominant alphas enough to trust us with something so delicate.
If nothing else, I like being able to do it for myself or for you guys if you want any.
Maybe it’s silly, but it feels like a dream from a past life now. ”
“Just because our lives have become more complicated doesn’t mean you should give up on what brings you happiness,” I said gently. “I’m not discouraging you, I just want to make sure you’re choosing for yourself, not just for the pack or what you think is right.”
He sat down beside me and pulled me close, not exactly answering, just giving me a reassuring squeeze.
“You know, before you came here, I used to have nightmares all the time.”
“Really?” I asked. “You’ve never mentioned that before.”
“Back then I still wasn’t sure what to make of this whole pack life thing. I always assumed I’d be alone, that no omega would want an alpha with a dominant gene.”
“You didn’t hear any complaints from me during my heat, now did you?” I teased.
He huffed out a laugh. “No, those were definitely screams of approval.”
I laughed softly. “So, what were the nightmares about? Tell me about them,” I suggested, crawling into his lap and settling back against his chest.
“My dads, mainly. Them yelling at me like they did in real life. They were always disappointed about something. As much pressure as society put on me, they were so much worse. It was always the same. I couldn’t do anything right, wasn’t strong enough, looked at an omega.
They were miserable bastards who wanted everyone else to be miserable, too.
When they couldn’t force me to care about their opinions anymore, they sent me off. ”
“What was the school like?” I asked. I was officially invested now. This was a deeper glimpse into what turned Rydell into the alpha I knew.
His hands brushed over my arm, caressing it gently and covering me in his scent. I breathed it in, the plum, dark floral, leather, and ink were fitting for the alpha.
“At first it seemed fine there. My dad’s name held weight, so people left me alone and it was a chance to get away from them… until the other alphas decided I should be taken down a few pegs.”
“What changed?”
“They banded together, eager to prove they were stronger than I’d ever be. Funny that the only way they could do that was by grouping together. Logic wasn’t their strong suit.”
“I don’t know if you know this about yourself,” I said with a smirk, “but you are a complete unit of an alpha.”
He chuckled. “Well, they didn’t stand a chance the first few times.”
“What was the rest of the school like?” Ansel asked as his pencil scratched gently over the paper. It was a fresh piece now, his eyes drifting from us to the paper.
“The teachers weren’t so bad. Like I said at the house, the cook there was nice.
She’d let me hide out when I needed to, helped me keep sight of what was important.
Sometimes she’d make comments about my future pack, and I’d shrug it off.
She’d never let me get away with that, though.
She teased me about the omega I’d find someday, said she’d be smart-mouthed and would refuse to let me give up on myself. ”
“Look at that, she was psychic,” I teased.
“I think she might’ve been,” he agreed, giving me a gentle squeeze. “She’d be horrified to know what became of me, but would adore you.”
“Did they kick you out before you could graduate?” Ansel asked as he settled back against the glass wall of the conservatory. He was comfortable around our alphas now more than ever.
“I’m not even sure,” Rydell admitted. “I was kicked out before graduation so I’m sure they didn’t bother to count the classes I’d aced.”
“I never considered the fact that I didn’t get a chance to attend or even think about college. Thank god I at least have my high school diploma, because that’s about all I’ve got going for me.”
“What were your plans before everything happened?” Rydell asked.
“There was a music school,” I said. “Not exactly famous, but the woman who ran it was an incredible violinist. She didn’t just play classical music, she played everything. Anyone who wanted to study music wanted to learn from her.”
“Were you accepted?” he asked.
“I was,” I admitted. “But even if I wasn’t kidnapped, I wouldn’t have been able to go. My parents put a stop to it. It was an ‘unnecessary expense,’ in my mother’s words. Because of course, it was. How could she control me if I was thousands of miles away?”
“Have I mentioned how much I hate them?” he asked with a sigh.
“A time or two,” I said with a small laugh. “Now that I know they were involved in that place, I hate them even more.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Ansel muttered in disgust. “Maybe we should ask Ledger about some of his good old-fashioned karma.” There wasn’t a single hint of amusement in his voice.
“I thought you were the sweet omega,” I joked.
He rolled his eyes. “That was until they messed with my mate.”
“Aren’t we supposed to be convincing the world that we’re all sane here?” Ares said, stepping out from behind a row of plants that had been hiding him.
“You guys know we’re bonded, right?” I said with a laugh. “I can feel you all here, watching me. Just come out and sit with us.”
Caspian chuckled as he stepped out. “We were trying to give our omega some privacy, then you guys started having a serious conversation before we could move. I didn’t want to interrupt that, either.”
“Can we just establish that there’s no wrong way to handle pack life?” I said. “You guys can interrupt if you need to. Being close isn’t an interruption. I want you close. If I need space, I’ll tell you.”
“And you’ll take that space while being careful,” Ledger said firmly. “I’m not losing you again.”
“I will,” I agreed.
Every single one of them nodded in agreement.
“You guys are insufferable,” I complained, but it was only half-hearted. The idea of being away from them had anxiety welling up in my chest.
I was sure our therapist would say something about being codependent, but trauma bonding was real, and in our case, unavoidable.
“Come on, let’s get back to our wing,” Ares said. “You guys need to sleep. Tomorrow starts therapy with your new therapist and getting back into the ARC routine, which means early wake-ups.”
“I can’t wait to sleep in every day when we have our own place,” I yawned, already tired.
Kane’s tea helped, but my body still felt like it was in recovery mode.
After everyone showered and changed into comfortable clothes for the night, we headed for the nest Ansel and I rebuilt instead of the bedrooms.
It might have been a tight squeeze, but with the warm lights twinkling overhead and the comfortable mattress beneath us, I was cozy and comfortable.
One by one, my pack fell asleep, soft snores filling the air.