Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ansel
Have I mentioned how exhausting it is to have an actual schedule?
” Audrey said as she crawled into our nest. She flopped down beside me, her blonde hair falling over my face.
When I didn’t respond right away, she looked up and laughed, brushing it out of my face and pushing my own hair away from my eyes.
She might’ve been exhausted, but the change in her was obvious. Her eyes weren’t dull anymore. They were bright and full of laughter. She teased us constantly and laughed more than ever.
Even now our bond was open. She was content with me, happy. The feeling was mutual.
It was strange to have Ledger’s bite on me, but I was grateful for it. Out of all the alphas, he and I had grown the closest. Things were shifting more, though. Our pack was closer than ever. You couldn’t go through losing your mate, even temporarily, and a heat without forming some sort of bond.
Audrey pulled one of our soft blankets over her and snuggled into my side. After a long day, this was quickly becoming my favorite way to unwind. Just me, my mate, and the nest we built together.
“How was therapy today?” she asked. “Does Alice like the progress you’ve made with your daily portraits?”
“It wasn’t too bad. She’s happy I’ve taken the leap and didn’t shy away from it,” I admitted. “I really like Alice. I think it’s good for me that she isn’t afraid to challenge what I think. She doesn’t let me stick to what’s safe.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” Audrey groaned dramatically. I guess I wasn’t the only one Alice pushed.
It went beyond just the portrait she had me doing now.
Over the last week or two it had blown up.
After drawing Charlie, there was always someone sitting at our table with us, courtesy of Ledger if I had to guess.
Each one became a little less awkward as it fell into a routine.
I was able to smile and greet them without wanting to close in on myself, which was a huge step for me.
“I’m so excited about us potentially having our own place and being out of ARC,” I said. “But can I admit something?”
“Always,” Audrey said. Just like that, I had her full attention. She had a way of making it feel like the rest of the world didn’t matter. Like her attention was unshakable.
“I’ve realized over the last few weeks that I don’t really know who I am.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, not quite following.
“The person I was before I was thrown into that ring is gone,” I said quietly.
“That was something else Alice and I talked about. I’m not just going to magically become that person again as I heal.
I’ve been through too much, seen too much, for that to happen.
Which means I’m starting over, and I don’t really have a personality. ”
“What?” Audrey argued. “Of course you do. You’re sweet and kind and gentle. There’s so much more to you than your trauma, Ansel.”
“No, I know that,” I said, wishing I could explain it better. “It’s more that I don’t feel like a whole person anymore. I never got to experience my formative years. I was taken almost as soon as I designated.”
“I understand that,” she said softly.
“I just... I don’t have a favorite color, or a favorite band. I don’t even know what music I like. The things others find exciting, I’m terrified of. I know I’m working on that, but... I want to experience life, Audrey.”
“The reality is that those things come with time,” she said gently.
She moved closer so we were practically nose to nose, offering comfort through touch as I worked through my thoughts.
“You’re not broken because you experience life differently than other people.
We don’t need to be typical, we just need to be ourselves. ”
“There’s just so much anger there,” I said, stumbling over the words. “I promise that I’m not trying to use you as a therapist, I talked to Alice about this, too. She thought you might have a unique perspective.”
“We’re pack,” she said. “You’re allowed to talk to me about how you feel.”
“I’m mad that my life was stolen from me,” I said, the words tumbling out.
“Angry that I was used for entertainment like I didn’t have my own feelings or life before them.
They probably got slapped with some kind of fine and just moved on like it was nothing.
To them, it wasn’t a big deal. They get to absolve the guilt and blame it on instincts.
On my scent. Yet, here I am, fucked up for life. ”
“We’re going to get our chance to experience life,” she said gently, running her hand over my arms. “We’re not so fucked up that we have to stay in this state forever. That’s why we’re going to therapy and growing and changing.”
“I know,” I sighed. “I just that we didn’t get to appreciate the small, simple moments in life. Like learning to drive. Getting our first job or apartment, decorating however we want. Finding our independence.”
“You know I understand,” she whispered. “I’ve always wanted to dance in the rain. To go explore new cities.”
“A tattoo,” I added on. “Hell, would I even like one?”
“I’m not sure I do,” she laughed. “I’ve had my share of needles.” We both shuddered.
“Tattoos are different,” I said, though it was a weak argument. “And Rydell would be the one doing it.”
We fell silent again, her fingers tracing carefully over my skin.
“Wait.” I perked up, glancing toward the window. It was covered, but I scrambled out of the pile of blankets and pillows, pulling the curtains aside and peeking through. A grin broke across my face when I saw the downpour was still ongoing. “We could knock one of those off right now. It’s raining.”
Her eyes lit up. She untangled herself from the nest, both of us hurrying toward the door, not bothering with shoes.
“What are you two up to?” Larissa asked as we approached the door.
“We’re going to dance in the rain,” Audrey said defiantly.
Larissa just shook her head, but she was smiling. She started to stand up like she was going to follow, but a deep voice had her pausing.
“Don’t worry. I’ll go with them,” Rydell told her. Of course, we didn’t make it far without one of the alphas noticing.
We were no longer considered a flight risk, so as long as we had someone to watch us, they seemed fine with us having free rein of the grounds.
“For the record,” he said as soon as we stepped into the main hall. “I think you’re both nuts.”
I laughed, not arguing. It was cold enough that we’d regret it later, but it was going to be cathartic. This was one of those defining moments.
A few guards watched from a distance, and I even heard one of them report that we were heading outside. Eyes were everywhere, but at least they’d have a bit of a show tonight.
Rydell opened the door for us, holding it but not following out into the torrents of rain.
“Go dance in the rain, you crazy omegas,” he said with a grin.
Audrey leaned up to press her lips to his before grabbing my hand, both of us running out into the thick grass. Our feet nearly slipped out from under us, but we kept each other upright until we were standing right in the open, under the downpour.
Audrey threw her hands wide and spun in a circle, her head tipped back as the rain washed over her.
I did the same, pure joy filling my chest and spilling through the bond. I could feel her emotions echoing back at me, a confirmation that this was exactly what we both needed.
She took my hands and we spun together, icy rain plastering our hair to our faces. Our clothes grew heavy, clinging to us as we laughed breathlessly.
When the dance turned to shivers, Rydell couldn’t take it anymore.
“Get your asses to the shower. I’ll send for clothes,” he barked, though there was a playful edge to it.
“Alphas always have to be such spoilsports,” Audrey teased, even as she obeyed, pulling me inside.
We didn’t have our own private bathroom, but Audrey and I slipped into the women’s restroom after she made sure it was empty. She pulled me into one of the stalls and turned on the water, heating it until it steamed.
The shivering took away from the moment. They lingered until we were under the spray for several minutes, letting the warm water calm them until we could pull our heavy clothes off of ourselves.
Audrey turned around, tipping her head back and letting the warm water wash through her tangled hair.
It just pushed her chest up, and I couldn’t resist dipping down and capturing one peaked nipple into my mouth.
I flicked my tongue over it before sucking hard and making her gasp.
My other hand trailed down her body. She spread her stance giving me access.
“You smell so good,” I husked, breathing in that sweet and spiced scent of hers as I slid two fingers into her core, gently teasing her clit with my thumb.
My movements weren’t well-practiced, but my girl loved every second. Her soft moans filled the air and her slick coated my fingers with every pump of my hand.
I trailed teasing kisses from one breast to the other. I teased my teeth over the sensitive buds this time, a hint of pain that had her crying out.
Audrey didn’t bother to fight her orgasm as she came on my fingers. I pumped them into her, keeping pressure on her clit, prolonging that sensation as long as I could.
Her body relaxed as she came down from that high, a sweet smile on her lips as her eyes were a bit dazed.
“Now, it’s my turn,” she said, kissing me before lathering her hands with soap. My eyes drifted closed as she massaged my shoulders and then slowly moved down my chest and abdomen, her eyes burning for me as she moved lower.
Audrey was never shy or subtle when it came to sex. She gripped my cock in a firm fist. Needing to kiss her, I backed her against the wall, my hands holding her head steady, tilting it just slightly before slanting my lips over hers.
Kissing Audrey always grounded me. Right now, it did the opposite, making me feel like I was burning from the inside out. This gorgeous omega was my world and I wanted to live in this moment forever.
She continued to stroke me, knowing just how I liked it, twisting her hand at the end and keeping her fingers tight. Our tongues danced against each other as she stroked me.
My body tensed, orgasm building low and rising more as she kissed me back. Audrey’s grip stayed strong, stroking me until I was burying my head in her neck, moaning as I spilled over her hands.
We slumped against the wall, breathing each other in for a moment before she stepped away.
“Now, hands to yourself,” she teased with a fake glare. “I need to clean my hair.”
Somehow, I managed to follow her orders as we washed the rain and sex off of ourselves. The water was starting to cool by the time we stepped out of the shower. There were towels and fresh clothes waiting on the bench outside of the showers.
We dried off and dressed quickly. Rydell was waiting on the other side of the door, smirking, but saying nothing as he silently led us back toward the wing. I didn’t care if he knew what we did in there.
I had no regrets when it came to Audrey.
“Actually,” I said, stopping mid-hall, “I have a question for you, Rydell.”
The alpha turned, waiting. He was a man of few words.
“You mentioned a time or two that you used to do tattoos. Do you think you’d give me one someday?”
“Really?” he asked, caught off guard by the request.
“Yes,” I said. “I’m not shy about pain. How could I be, with the life I’ve lived? But I think I’d like to commemorate moments like tonight. Dancing in the rain, or even the flowers from the conservatory. Petals and violins to represent Audrey... things like that.”
Rydell’s lips curved slightly. “Actually,” he said, “let me show you what I’ve been working on.”
He led us to the desk in the corner of our wing where he kept his sketchbooks. They used to be in his room, but most of our desks were out here now.
He grabbed a sketchbook, flipping it open, and turning the page toward me.
“I was thinking the same thing,” he said. “I could make a version of this for you in a style that fits you more. I prefer my tattoos dark, but you might want a more delicate approach.”
The sketch was gorgeous. The background was dark, making the flowers pop. Vibrant teals, pinks, blues, and greens wound together in vines around a violin.
“This is amazing,” I told him, honestly. “You’re going to have clients lining up once you open up a shop.”
“I’m not exactly the customer service type,” Rydell hedged.
“Nooo,” Audrey teased. The alpha gave her a look but I forged on, too focused on the future now.
“If we can pool our funds together, maybe we can open a multipurpose building. We’ll have the payout from this nightmare to add to it.
One side can be Kane’s tea shop, Audrey can have a sound studio, I can have a painting room, and you can have your tattoo parlor.
We could hire someone to run the front or even do it ourselves. ”
“You’d help run the front desk?” he asked, eyes narrowed just slightly. There wasn’t doubt in his tone, more like a challenge.
“I’m a professional now, thanks to Alice. Plus, with online scheduling, I doubt we’d need someone there all the time. If nothing else, one of us will always be around.”
“Plus, this way we’d all be together,” Audrey added, grinning. “Just picture it. I could record a song or two, and when I need a break, I’ll go visit Kane for tea. Swing by and grab you two for lunch, maybe.”
“Exactly. And at the end of the day, we’d all go home together,” I added.
“A quiet life, huh?” he said, looking away, his expression softening as if he could see it already. He must have liked what he saw, because he grabbed his sketchbook and pencil, giving us one last look.
“I guess I have some pack tattoos to catch up on, don’t I?”
“And we have a nest to warm,” Audrey said, pulling me back toward the blankets.