Chapter 2
Ren
“Blake.”
I ran to catch him as his long strides ate up the ground. He flew out the front doors, leaving people staring as he passed.
“Blake,” I called again as I made it outside. He didn’t slow. Dammit. He was already halfway to the parking lot before I was able to grab his arm.
“Blake…wait.”
He stopped and glared at me.
“Don’t try and tell me he’s a great guy and it’s all just one big misunderstanding that will get smoothed over if I just give him a chance,” he growled.
I’d never seen Blake this angry, at least not in a long time, and never at me.
“I wasn’t going to,” I said, letting go of his arm.
“Good, because I don’t care who that guy is to you. I’ll never trust him, like him, or forgive him. He could’ve told us where Lawrence was so many times. He didn’t tell us out of spite, and now my mother…”
Blake stopped and took a step back. The emotion was so raw in his eyes that I felt the pain in my chest all over again, as fresh as the day we stood at her grave.
He pointed toward the school.
“Don’t ever try to make me think otherwise. I’m done being there when people need me, but then they ghost me when I need them.”
“Who are you talking about now?”
He got quiet, and then it hit me.
“Me?”
“You tell me, Ren. You’ve only come over to the house once since my mother was killed. You dropped off flowers and cookies, but didn’t even speak to me. Then, after we moved in yesterday, you didn’t even come by to see us.”
My mouth dropped open to protest, but he just turned and started to walk away.
“Blake, I…it’s not like that,” I called after him.
“Oh yeah, then tell me how it is. Did you show up, and I wasn’t there? I doubt that, since I never left the house. And where the hell were you yesterday?”
“When I…um…when I came over the one day. Theo answered the door and said that you were all grieving and that you had other family members arriving soon. I got the feeling he meant you wanted time and space to be with each other. I didn’t mean to make you feel abandoned.”
He held up his hands. “Wait…you talked to Theo?”
I licked my lips, suddenly feeling like I had done something wrong when I’d thought that I was being respectful.
“Just for a few minutes. I’m not blaming Theo, like I said, he…
well, he said your dad wasn’t doing well, and you were sitting with him,” I said, reaching for his hand, but he stepped away.
“Reading between the lines, I felt like your dad couldn’t handle seeing me or anyone else.
I didn’t purposely ignore or forget about you. ”
“Well, that makes it all better. Why didn’t you at least ask to see me?”
Hurt and sarcasm were woven into every word. He moved closer, his green eyes snapping with anger.
“I was the one who killed someone for the first time. I lost my mother, too,” he growled in a low whisper that made the hair stand on the back of my neck. “And after everything we’ve been through, you couldn’t be bothered to talk to me for five minutes, even if you chose not to stay.”
“Blake, I’m so sorry. I swear I would’ve, but I…I thought that—”
“Oh, I know what you thought. But maybe if you’d asked me what I needed for a change, then you would’ve known that all I wanted was you, and you were nowhere to be found,” he snarled, and tears stung my eyes.
I knew he was in pain, and that could turn people into someone you didn’t recognize. But it didn’t stop his words from hurting or making me second-guess everything I’d said and done in the last week.
“And don’t bother explaining where you were yesterday. I already know you were with Nash. Now that you have the king, you don’t need the rest of us. Was that your goal this whole time? Did you just want to fuck Nash Collier like all the other girls?”
His words burned like venom. And then, I did something I never thought I would and slapped Blake so hard that he looked as shocked as I felt.
“Don’t…don’t…you dare. I know you’re grieving, and I’m…I’m genuinely sorry.” I tried and failed to steady myself and stop the stuttering. “I, of all people, know what…what that pain feels like. I’ve stared at it…it in the mirror more than once.”
Blake crossed his arms and looked down at his shoes. My body trembled from the hurt and anger.
“I lost the father that…that raised me on the same night that you lost your mother. I’ve watched both my parents die, and my aunt, so yeah, I…I know what you are going through.”
“Sorry,” he said, still not looking at me.
I took a deep breath. “No, I need to finish this. When I came here, I didn’t want any of you. You pursued me. Made me a game. The punchline of your jokes. Who can fuck the new girl first, remember?”
He looked up, and his eyes had softened ever so slightly.
“I love you, Blake, and I loved Ella. My heart breaks for you and Theo. And I’m genuinely sorry if you feel that I haven’t been there when you needed me.
That was never my intention. But don’t act like I’m the enemy.
Don’t you dare accuse me of being just some girl who strategically swooped in to steal the King of Kings and play all of you. You know me better than that.”
Blake stuffed his hands into his pockets before he finally spoke.
“All I know, Ren, is that you’re the one person I want to see. I wanted to hold your hand and cry with you, but you weren’t there. To me…you are part of my family, and it feels like you’re too busy playing house with Nash to give a shit about anything else,” he said before turning and walking off.
I wanted to call after him, but it was better to let him go for now. We both needed to cool down, and I had to think about how to handle this.
My hands were shaking, and my palm still stung from where I’d hit him.
It felt wrong losing my temper with Blake.
He was the last person on this earth that I ever wanted to hurt.
Blake’s soul was so beautiful and kind. He was in pain, and it didn’t matter why I wasn’t there every day, only that my absence upset him.
Watching him march off into the woods alone broke my heart into a million little pieces.
“Snowflake?” I jumped at the sound of Myles’s voice and turned to face him. “What’s wrong?”
“He’s so angry, and honestly, I get most of it.”
Myles placed his hands on my shoulders, and the warmth reminded me that we were standing outside, without jackets, and it was snowing.
“He’ll be fine,” Myles said. “It’s only been a week for him to process.”
“I know, but…do you feel that I’ve abandoned all of you for Nash? Is that how everyone really feels?”
Myles looked genuinely surprised at my comment.
“What? Did Blake say that?”
I nodded.
“Nah, Snowflake.” He shrugged. “Would I like to keep ya all to myself all da time? Aye, I cannie deny that.”
“Blake feels like I abandoned him when he needed me. That…I…” A tear trickled down my cheek, and I quickly swiped it away.
“I thought I was doing what the family wanted, what he, Theo, and their father needed. I didn’t mean to hurt him.
I sent him multiple texts, and he never said anything when he answered.
I should’ve known. I should’ve felt that he needed me more… right?”
“Stop.” He cupped my face, and I shivered as another tear fell. “Blake has never been good with change. And everythin’ in his life has been upended all at once. He’s processing, but he’ll be okay. I promise. I’m keepin’ an eye on him.”
“But you have so much on your plate, too. You just got Lip back to school, and we know he’s not okay and may never be. And…and…I slapped him. I slapped Blake.” Myles pulled me into a hug. “I never should’ve done that.”
He rubbed my back, and I closed my eyes, soaking up his warmth. We stood there as my mind raced.
“I feel like everyone is expecting me to be perfect. To know what to do all the time. To be a queen now that we all know who my father really is. My marriage to Nash has somehow added even more pressure, but I just feel as lost today as the day that I arrived here. How am I supposed to be this figure…this paragon of leadership when I can’t control my emotions when one of you needs me? ”
“Yer smarter, kinder, and there for us more than ya give yerself credit for, Snowflake. Just be you, don’t try to be someone else, and all will be fine.
Blake loves ya, we all do, and it will work out.
Honestly, he needed a target and yer the only one that ran after him to give him someone to shoot at. ”
God, how I wished that I had Myles’s optimism.
I’d never understood how he remained so positive despite the darkest things happening to him.
I envied that about him. If he worried, it rarely showed, and he always had a smile on his face, a teasing comment to make me smile, or a raspberry muffin in hand.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you. I love you, Myles. And if I have, even for a moment, made you think that my feelings have changed with Nash involved…”
Pulling back, I looked up into his amber eyes. With everything that had taken place over the last year and a half, it felt like forever and a day ago that we’d met, and yet when I looked into his eyes, my heart pounded like it was still the first time.
“They haven’t, not even a little. If anything, they’ve grown stronger.” He opened his mouth, but I placed my finger on his lips. “I know you know. I just wanted you to hear it from me, right now in this moment, that I love you.”
Myles kissed my finger.
“I love ya too, Snowflake.” He kissed the tip of my nose with a smile. “Now lets get ya inside before ya catch a cold.”