Chapter 33
Theo
The road into town stretched ahead of us in a soft blur of headlights and frost. It was the kind of quiet drive that should’ve settled me, but it made every thought press harder against my skull.
When I needed to calm my mind I’d normally take, Polly, out for a ride, but the roads were in no condition to go for a rip.
Ren sat beside me in the truck, her fingers brushing mine, and somehow that tiny bit of contact did more to steady me than anything had in months.
Mom was gone, Dad was alive but hollowed out, and home didn’t feel like home. Everything was wrong, and I had no answers for the people I loved.
I didn’t want Ren to see how scattered I actually was, but sitting next to her in the low glow of the dashboard made it harder to hide. She had a way of making me want to open up with just a loving glance. She and Liam had a lot in common that way.
“What’s going on,” Ren asked softly. “You’ve barely said two words the entire drive.”
Taking a deep breath, I spoke the words that I hadn’t said out loud yet, because saying them made it real.
“I’m not going to Harvard.”
She turned in her seat and looked at me.
“What?”
“I can’t go. I was already having reservations before my mom was killed, but now…I can’t leave.”
She sat quietly and didn’t argue, but my heart still hammered in my chest. I’d done it.
The words were out in the universe and couldn’t be taken back.
It felt like releasing a part of my soul.
I hadn’t spent a single day in Cambridge, but it was my dream, and every goal had been set and completed with Harvard in mind.
“Are you okay,” she asked, linking our fingers, and I gripped her hand tight.
“Honestly…I don’t know.”
“I’m here for you, whatever you need,” she said.
“I know.”
Snowflakes melted on the windshield, not enough to warrant the wipers, but I had to clear the glass every few minutes. Some upbeat dance music that didn’t fit my mood was playing through the stereo.
“Do you know where you want to apply, or are you taking a gap year?”
“No, gap. I’m thinking Stanford. It’s close enough that I can drive home on weekends. And I can probably work my schedule to have Fridays or Mondays off. They have a top-tier business program, courses geared toward my specialization goal, and the SPLS is widely respected.”
“SPLS?”
“It’s the Stanford Pre-Law Society, an organization on campus that works closely with the law school. They offer mentorships, resources, and even test prep.”
“Have you spoken to Dean Henry yet?”
I shook my head.
“You’re the first to know my final decision.”
She squeezed my hand.
“I’m sorry, Theo. I know how much Harvard meant to you.”
“I just need to wrap my head around the change. Our lives are so different from what they were a year ago. Even if I still went, I wouldn’t be able to focus properly,” I said as we pulled into the Grillie’s parking lot. It was our new favorite take-out spot.
We had ten minutes to kill before our order was ready, so we just sat in the truck, staring out at the snow. People left, laughing and obviously satisfied with their meal and company, while others pulled in and parked.
“How do you do it,” I finally asked the question that had been driving me insane. “How do you just roll with the punches and act like it will all be okay?”
I looked at Ren, marvelling at her ability to face everything thrown at her head-on. We competed in everything, and for the most part, we were so similar that it was neck-and-neck as to who was better. But when it came to this, Ren was the champion, hands down.
Her lips pressed together, and her nose scrunched up. She was as cute as she was stunning, and it drove me crazy.
“I think you need to start treating the rest of your life a little more like you do when you race.”
Ren’s words felt like a smack to the back of the head with reality.
“When you’re on your bike, you go with the flow. You travel, you race, you take what the competition, the road, and the weather bring. You have ridden away from shoot-outs, left a cadre of cops and assassins, who were tailing us, in the dust, and chased down a psycho who nearly killed me.”
I knew what she was trying to do, but reminding me of everything that had happened to us in the last year made my head spin.
“Up until recently, you have kept the rest of your world in perfect order. But it’s not that simple anymore.
My life was turned upside down the day Neil brought me to Wayward.
I know now that he was trying to protect me.
He brought me to someplace where I could finish school, make allies, and meet Dean Henry, who was a friend of my dad.
For so long, I thought he didn’t care about Mum or me, but he sacrificed everything to keep me safe.
That doesn’t change the fact that I’ve had to relearn how to be me.
You know how to roll with the punches the same way I have. You just need to tap into Murk.”
I smirked, then laughed, and before I knew it, tears were rolling down my cheeks. Picking up Ren’s hand, I kissed her knuckles.
“Thank you, that actually makes a ton of sense.”
“Pfft, did you expect…any…any…” Her smile faltered as she swore under her breath. “Anything less?”
“Rolling with the punches, remember,” I said, and she rolled her eyes, making me laugh again.
“Yeah, yeah. Come on, dinner should be ready,” Ren said, hopping out of the truck.
Getting out and going round the front, I stopped her before she could escape. I cupped her cheeks and lost myself in her silvery eyes before touching my lips to hers.
“I love you.”
“And I love you. I’m always here, whatever you need. I mean it.”
“I know.”
I kissed her again and let her sweetness seep into my bones. Taking her hand, we walked across the parking lot.
“Did Liam mention a weekend getaway?”
“He did, and I’m very excited,” Ren said.
“Same. You haven’t experienced a Liam vacation, but when he plans, he goes all out.”
Ren looked up at me as I pulled open Grillie’s door, and we were immediately assaulted with the scent of rich barbecue.
“How did we get so lucky?”
Smiling, I shrugged.
“Don’t know, but he’s one of a kind.”
The restaurant had two lines. One for pick-up and take-out orders to the right, and sit down to the left.
We went to the right and got in line. Ren suddenly grabbed my hand, and I looked up to see a group of bikers coming inside.
Right in the front was Merlin, sucking face with a girl who was definitely not Nora.
Ren pulled out her phone and took a photo, then turned her back on them.
“What do you plan on doing with that?”
She shrugged, then whispered, “Don’t know yet.”
We stepped up to the counter, grabbed our eight bags of food, and walked right past the asshole making out without being seen.
“I’m not sure you should tell Liam,” I said when we got in the truck.
“Why?”
“He’s not going to take it well.”
Ren rubbed her forehead.
“Shit…if I were Nora, I’d want to know.” She looked at me. “Maybe we skip the middleman.”
“What do you mean?”
“Take me to the gym, she’ll still be there,” Ren said, and I cringed.
“You really want to get involved in this?”
“Not really, but Nora’s not only my friend. She’ll be our sister-in-law one day. I can’t know something this big and not tell her. What she chooses to do with the information is her business. If it comes from Liam, she really won’t take it well. I’m the best messenger.”
“Okay.”
Starting the truck, we pulled out of the parking lot and drove straight to the gym. This was not going to end well. I could feel it.