Chapter 34 #2
“I took his words to heart. Making him proud and remaining at the top of the business world and in my circles was paramount. Nothing else mattered as much, except for my wife. I loved Renata and never hurt her, at least, not physically. I was not a very good husband otherwise. I’ve committed all the sins.
I coveted my brother’s love and stole her.
I allowed greed and pride to rule my hand, and when embarrassed, allowed wrath to take over. ”
He looked down at his hands, and I believed what he said. All the stories, rumors, or not, had bits of truth. Now, by his own words, he had been that tyrant, maybe still was.
“I’m sure that when I die, I will not be seeing my sweet Renata in heaven. Do you know that is how you got your middle name? Yuliana named you Lilya Ren after her favorite flower and your grandmother.”
I didn’t know that, and it was the first thing he’d said that tugged at my chest.
“Your grandmother was an amazing woman, and she died furious with me. She was so angry and hurt that I had single-handedly destroyed our family. Renata never forgave me. As many times as I begged for her forgiveness, she refused. She said that she would always love me, but she couldn’t forgive my actions that drove our only child away.
On her death bed the only thing she wanted was to be able to see Yuliana one more time, but I had no idea where you two were.
” He sat back and cleared his throat. “The guilt over not being able to do that one thing for her has haunted me. With all the money and power I’d accumulated and I couldn’t grant my beautiful wife her one wish. That kind of thing will break a man.”
A single tear rolled down his face.
“I held her hand in those final moments and she repeated those words. She loved me, but she could never forgive me. So many lost years with my daughter and with you. It was only when everything I loved was gone that my pride fell, revealing what I really had. My world has crumbled. I am an old man with more money than I can spend in my lifetime, and yet, I have no one other than those I pay to sit with me. Nothing in this world wakes you up to the reality of what you’ve done and lost, as much as that. ”
I fought the urge to comfort. His actions were unforgivable, and I hated that he had found a way to get under my skin. He had done this to himself and maybe losing my grandmother really had changed him, but right now it felt like he was using her memory to find my weakness.
“I’m not sure what you want me to say,” I said, and noticed that Nash’s hand had dropped to my shoulder for added support, but he didn’t jump in.
“I’m not sure. Maybe I was hoping for forgiveness.”
“You don’t need my forgiveness.”
His brow furrowed.
“Tell me something, Vadin. Why did you betray my father? What did he and my mother do that was so terrible that you waited until the day of their betrothal announcement—my mother’s birthday—to crush them? Have you always been so cruel in your need to make the Mikhailov name great?”
“I was very angry with your father for a long time, but the truth is…I didn’t hate him when I betrayed him. On paper, he was the best candidate to marry my daughter, except for one thing: he was not Russian.”
“Let me get this straight. You tore them apart because Edmundo is Italian?”
I narrowed my eyes at him, disgusted. What a horrible and despicable reason.
“You have to understand, Lilya, I was brought up in a different time. My views on family and legacy were ingrained in me at a young age, and I followed them to the letter. It wouldn’t have mattered if your father were from any other country.
Edmundo is not from our homeland, and it meant everything to me to have my family remain close. ”
His xenophobia had wiped away the little bit of the sentimental goodwill he’d managed to create.
“The night Edmundo came to me, and I accepted his proposal, I fully intended for them to wed. But while he sat in my office, I received a call.”
“Let me guess, from Christov?”
“No, from his father. Mr. Ivankov Sr. was aware that his son was having a torrid affair with a woman he deemed undesirable. He also knew that Edmundo had come forward with an offer. He could not match what the young Genovese brought to the table, but he did possess important government connections across the country. He had pull and the ears of many of the oligarchs. What he offered was unlimited access to everyone and everything I desired to ensure that the Mikhailov name remained both feared and respected throughout Russia. No, it wasn’t as lucrative, but marrying Yuliana to Christov gave the Mikhailovs immediate power. ”
“And Christov was Russian,” I said, mockingly. “I am Edmundo Genovese’s daughter, the man you betrayed, and yet here you are, sitting at this table, wanting to reconnect? It’s a little…ironic, don’t you think?”
“I regret my decision, Lilya. I have never regretted anything before that night. I was blinded by the possibilities and allowed my pride to reign. Sadly…what Yuliana wanted no longer mattered.”
“What about Sabastian,” I asked, curious if he had figured it out yet.
“What about him?”
“Do you know that he is not your grandson?”
Vadin’s nostrils flared slightly.
“You lie.”
“He’s here in the school if you want to confirm it with him. But he’s not my mother’s son. Have you been in touch with Christov?”
“Not in sometime,” he said, but there was a slight inflection to his tone that told me he was lying.
It was the only lie I’d picked up on so far, but I sensed it like a bloodhound. Liam was rubbing off on me.
“Did you know Christov was abusing my mother,” I asked, not letting him out of the hot seat. “And don’t lie to me,” I said, the knot in my stomach made me feel sick.
“I did.”
“And you forced her to stay with him?”
He looked down. “Yes.”
“How? How could you do that?” I stood, fists clenched, my anger at a boiling point. “She trusted you and loved you, and you were supposed to protect her, protect us, and you chose power instead. How can you even ask me to forgive that?”
Nash stood with me, his hand going to my waist. A gentle reminder to keep calm. I was trying, but it was so hard. Liam was right. Picking scabs on old wounds did nothing but harm.
“I can’t go back in time, Lilya, but I would, if I could. I would make so many different choices, starting with allowing your mother and Edmundo to marry,” he said.
His eyes pleaded with me to forgive him, but I couldn’t.
“You can’t go back in time, none of us can, and we have to live with the choices we make. Did you send men to kill my mother?”
His face twisted.
“I sent no one. I did not know where you were.”
“You swear to me?”
Vadin stood and placed his hand on my shoulder, but I stepped back away from his touch. His hand dropped.
“Yes, I swear to you that I didn’t try to kill Yuliana.”
“Or me last summer?”
“No. Definitely, not. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I nodded and took a steadying breath.
“As I said earlier, it’s not my forgiveness you need if you want us to have a relationship.”
“What do you mean?”
“This started with my father, and it ends with him. I’ll speak to him about our meeting and have him contact you. But if you truly want my forgiveness…then you need his first. Your actions have haunted him and deprived me of my father for fourteen years.”
Myles opened the door, and I turned to leave, but Vadin spoke, stopping me.
“What if he won’t forgive me, or kills me?”
I looked up at Nash and then over my shoulder at the man who had the nerve to call himself my grandfather.
“I am not the weak link in this chain. You can’t break me after what I have endured.
You set all of this in motion, and you will face the consequences.
If Edmundo Genovese, with all the pain you’ve caused him, can find it in himself to forgive you…
then I’ll entertain it. But I will not beg for you.
And if he kills you…then he does. Don’t show up unannounced again, or I’ll make sure Dean Henry places you on the banned list.”
I walked out with my head held high, despite the tremors rolling through my body.
“That was fucking incredible, Princess,” Nash said, softly, guiding me toward the cafeteria.
“Aye, that was…hot as fuck,” Myles said.
But even his teasing couldn’t wash away the sour taste in my mouth.
Some things in this life were unforgiveable. I was great at putting myself in others’ shoes, and as much as I could understand where he was coming from…this…I just couldn’t forgive.
On top of it all, I didn’t know what was worse—what my grandfather had done to my parents or that he hadn’t sent assassins to kill my mum and then me. At least when I thought it was him, I knew who my enemies were, but now…I was back to square one and looking at everyone like a suspect.
As we sat down at our table, I spotted Sabastian in the entryway, talking with Vadin. They looked far too casual to not have seen one another for years.
Christov had just become my top suspect.