Chapter 62
Ren
Eddie stormed past me, barking orders as he grabbed the gun and hauled Mum out of the room by her arm. At any other time, I would’ve been angered by the blunt and aggressive treatment of my mother, but not today.
I felt nothing and everything.
Warm hands gripped me, and I turned my head to see Nash talking to me, but his words made no sense. I squinted at him. He mouthed one word, but it took three tries before I understood. Nash pointed to the chair and helped me sit down.
He kneeled in front of me, and suddenly all the guys were there, even Myles holding Lip as he cried.
They wore the same concerned expression while a torrent of emotions and memories assaulted me.
Each one brought with it something more painful than the one before, like they were testing how much I could take before I broke.
The noise of the room crept back in stages. Everything was there, but muffled. The clink of a glass made me jump. I turned my head when I heard a loud laugh. A moment later, it all came crashing back.
Dimitri was laughing and pounding the table as he pointed at Vadin, whose face was red and angry, fists balled.
“She was going to blow your head off. What were you saying about family loyalty?”
Ethan approached us and whispered something to Myles. He nodded and handed Lip over to him. If Ethan was in any pain, it never showed on his face. He marched for the door with Lip’s face buried in the side of his neck.
“This was an epic dinner. I’m so happy I came,” Ronan said to Romeo with a smile. “I thought your family had great parties, but this one just took all the awards for fucked up family drama.”
“I don’t know. I would’ve liked to have seen someone get spanked on the table,” Romeo asked, and I shook my head.
Who the fuck does that?
“Good point.” Ronan laughed.
“Princess, say something. Are you okay,” Nash asked.
I nodded, but my voice wouldn’t work. I glanced around the table again, and my eyes fell on Dean Henry. He sat still as a statue, but his eyes were fixed on me. I swallowed hard.
“You…knew?”
He didn’t say anything, didn’t nod, didn’t look away. There was just a cool mask of stone, but his eyes were filled with sadness.
“Answer me! Did you know this whole time that my mother was alive?”
The room quieted, all attention focused on his response.
Dean Henry slowly stood and buttoned his suit jacket.
“I think you already know the answer to that. You don’t need me to confirm or deny.”
That was close to a yes as I was going to get, and stupidly, the tears spilled over then.
“I trusted you.”
His expression softened, but there was no guilt.
“You did, and you should continue to do so,” he said.
“How can I trust someone who lied to my face?”
“I’ve never lied to you. If you’re looking for someone to blame, then by all means, be angry with me. I’ll take the knock on the chin for you. But I have a duty to protect you, Wayward, and the Curators. You have always known that, and I’m not the one who set this ball rolling.”
He stared at me like he was trying to convey yet another message that he wasn’t allowed to divulge.
“In time, I hope you’ll understand that it doesn’t matter what I know, or even what I wish I could share, only what I’m allowed to say. I’ll see myself out.”
“Curators, they have their nose in everything,” Dimitri said. “How have you not gotten yourself shot by one of them yet with all the slimy shit you’ve done,” he asked Vadin.
“I should be asking you that question. How did you weasel your way out of the investigation that they had against you?” Vadin held up his finger. “Don’t bother denying it, I have my sources, too.”
Dimitri shifted uneasily in his seat.
“How do you know about that?”
Vadin smirked.
“Did you set me up?” Dimitri burst to his feet. “Is that how you know? Are you so petty that you’d frame your brother? I shouldn’t be surprised.”
Vicky suddenly burst to her feet and slammed a plate on the table.
“Get out. All of you get out of my house, right now. I’m sick of your overinflated egos,” Vicky growled, glaring at Vadin and then Dimitri.
No one moved until she flung the plate across the room like a frisbee and it shattered against the wall.
“Get out!”
That did it. One after the other, they scampered from the room.
Grown men who pretended to be so tough were terrified of Vicky hurling a plate.
It struck me as ironic from their conversation earlier in the meal.
Dimitri, Vadin, Romeo, Saul, Ronan, and even Emmett and Bridget, who’d been quiet, raced for the exit.
Vicky marched over to me and held out her hand.
“You guys are useless. Why are you all just staring like a bunch of buffoons? Can’t you see she’s overwhelmed? Come on, let’s get you out of here.”
I didn’t know who was more shocked, me or the guys.
Their faces, including Liam’s, looked like they’d jumped into an alternate universe.
I slipped my hand into hers. Vicky didn’t help me stand, but she kept me steady.
We walked out into the hall and then up to my bedroom, the guys following in our wake.
Reaching the door, I didn’t let Vicky go. For this singular moment, we were more than family, we were women and sisters who understood pain caused by a parent who claimed to love us unconditionally.
Turning to her, I pulled her into a hug.
Vicky cleared her throat and stepped back.
“Let’s not get all sappy, we’re not besties or anything. Men are simply useless in an emotional crisis.” The look in her eyes softened a little. “If you need me or whatever, I’ll be in my room.”
“Thank you,” I called out to her back.
“Uh-huh, whatever,” she said, but there was no venom attached. I watched her until she disappeared at the end of the hallway.
“I think hell has frozen over,” Myles said, guiding me into my room and closing the door.
“I’m good here,” I said, gripping his arm and getting rid of the heels.
“Look, I need to get this out before anyone says anything, and I don’t mean this to be insensitive, but—fuck, does no one stay dead anymore?”
I looked up at Myles.
“Not that I want yer ma to be dead, and if there was a way to bring Ella back, I would. But…we thought Christov was shot dead, and he showed up in California. Then we thought Mya was dead, and she sprang up out of the ground like a fucking crazy daisy. Now, yer ma? Who’s next?
I’m startin’ to think I need to go check where I buried Owen just ta make sure the fucker’s still there. ”
He crossed his arms, and I snickered. Then, I broke into laugher so hard I couldn’t catch a breath, and my stomach hurt.
At first, I was the only one who seemed to think the question was hilarious, but soon everyone joined. The room was reduced to hysterical laughter that could only come from the darkest of pain.
Tears ran down my face from not only the humor of the ridiculous moment but also the reality of the situation.
Sobering, I wiped my eyes and looked around at the guys who were all standing close but still gave me space.
I appreciated that. I needed to stand on my own, not be coddled or consoled right now.
I slowly shook my head in disbelief.
“I don’t even know what to say, to ask, or where to start. She lied. All this time…she hid, and no one knew but Dean Henry. I get that he has to keep things secret, but…my mother being alive…I don’t get how he can keep that to himself. How could he look me in the eye and act like that was normal?”
Nash raised his hand like Lip had downstairs, and we all turned toward him. If he said he knew all this time, I was going to Superman leap across the room and beat him to death.
“I’m coming clean.” He cleared his throat, and my hands balled. “I didn’t know the whole time, but…I had a feeling that she was.”
“What the fuck, man?” Myles growled. My thought exactly. “Fuck, I hate it when you keep shit to yourself. It’s gettin’ real old.”
“Fuck off, Myles!” Nash glared at him. “You can’t have it both ways. You say you don’t want to keep secrets from Ren, but I couldn’t tell her yet because I had no fucking proof. Are you saying you wanted me to tell you, and then force you to hide it? You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”
He held up his finger as he continued, the sarcasm dripping from his words.
“Oh no, wait. How about you do tell her, and then her mother is actually dead, and you have to backtrack. Oops, sorry, I thought the mother you wanted to be alive more than anything might be, but I’ll take that back now. Go ahead and grieve again,” Nash said with a snarl.
“Don’t fucking judge me. I saved you from having to go through that. But don’t worry, your perfect retriever image is still intact.”
“Go feck yerself,” Myles grumbled, crossing his arms.
“Enough! I don’t need you two fighting,” I said sharply, drawing everyone’s attention back to me. “Nash, tell me what you know.”
He stepped closer, his eyes pleading with me to understand.
“Something happened that baffled your father. Without getting into a ton of specifics, some of his bank accounts showed money going out and then mysteriously coming back in. Transactions he hadn’t made.
He spoke to me about it one night when we were here for your speech therapy session.
And trust me, his first thought wasn’t that your mother was actually alive.
He believed he was being set up for money laundering or another form of fraud. But…yes, it came up as an option.”
He ran his hand through his hair and yanked his tie off, tossing it across the room.
“Fuck…”
“Just tell me what happened,” I said, softer this time.
“Your father asked me not to say anything until he had concrete answers. And before you decide to hate me, I agreed because honestly…” He lifted his hands toward me.
“This. This moment right here. How the hell do I tell you that there is a tiny chance your mother is alive? How do I see the pain in your eyes over what that means, and then in the next breath yank that rug out from under you if it’s not true?
Trust me, I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t hurt you like that.
I’m sorry if that makes me an overprotective asshole.
And I am so sorry that you were blindsided tonight. None of this is right.”
“How long,” I asked, softly, torn between feeling betrayed and understanding. I was walking a very thin ledge.
“Not long, I swear. That was why Edmundo left on business for the week. He went looking for proof but couldn’t find what he was after.
He said he had a few more leads to run and asked me to stay quiet a little longer.
He was just as concerned as I was about what this would do to you if we made such a large claim and couldn’t back it up.
I know what it’s like to want to chase a ghost.” Nash said.
Without saying a word, I walked over to the closet to get my warm, fuzzy pajamas. I wore them when I was sad or hurt. As I turned back, I noticed the guys watching me like they were waiting for me to break, and I hated it.
It would be so easy to cry my eyes out and feel sorry for myself. To curl up in a ball and hide from the reality that my mother abandoned me. I choked back a sob as the night she died—no—staged her death flashed through my mind.
Covering my mouth, I took a moment and then composed myself before clutching the soft clothes to my chest like a comforting shield.
“Nash…I’m not angry.”
His eyebrow raised.
“I’m serious. I understand, and I would do the same thing,” I said, knowing that if I thought North was alive, but had no proof, I’d keep it from him until I was sure. “But I don’t like it, and it doesn’t mean that I want secrets to become a habit all over again.”
He nodded.
Liam stepped up to me and placed his hand on my shoulder, sharing his quiet strength.
“What do you need us to do,” he asked.
My heart hurt, but I didn’t know where to begin.
“I want to talk about it with all of you. But first, I need a shower and a few minutes alone.”
“We’ll be here when you get out,” he said, and they all nodded.
“Myles, is Lip okay?”
“Thanks to you, Snowflake, he’s gonna be fine.”
“Ronan was right,” I said, and my lip twitched. “We have the most fucked up dinners. I don’t think any of your families will ever come back.”
The guys chuckled.
Taking a deep breath, I walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I’d meant what I said and wanted to talk to them about what happened and how I felt. But ultimately, only one person could give me the answers I needed.
After so many nights of wishing for just one more day with my mother, I never thought the day would come that I didn’t want to see her.