Chapter 64
Nash
The hardest thing to get used to in this relationship was not being able to help when it was all I wanted to do.
I wandered down the stairs, and all I could think about was the look on Ren’s face when she came out of the bathroom. It was more than just sad. She looked haunted, and it cut deeper than I would’ve thought possible.
The house was quiet, but it wasn’t asleep. When you lived this life, there were always people awake. Guards patrolling, watchful, and waiting for the moment they were needed and hoping that they never were.
At the entrance to the kitchen, I stopped cold. A shadow sat at the breakfast nook, and even in the dim illumination from the appliances and the moonlight, I knew it was Edmundo. Head in his hands, elbows on the table, a gun and a bottle of something strong were in front of him.
“Hey,” I said, and his head came up. “I was going to get a drink. Do you want anything?”
His movements were slow as he reached for the bottle and lifted it to his mouth.
“I’m good,” he said far too calmly before taking a swig.
This was a side of Edmundo I’d never seen.
He had always possessed an air of nonchalance.
I couldn’t even imagine what he was dealing with tonight.
What happened with Mya paled in comparison.
Walking to the cupboard, I snooped around until I found the mint hot chocolate mix, then put on the kettle.
It had become my new secret obsession thanks to Princess.
Neither of us spoke while I fixed my drink, and when it was done, I decided to take a chance and sat down across from him.
Edmundo stared back, but it felt like he was looking through me.
“You going to be okay,” I asked, glancing at the gun. “Or should I take that away?”
He smirked and ran a hand down his face.
“I’m not going to shoot myself.”
“I was thinking you might shoot someone else,” I said, half-teasing.
“The only one I want to shoot is already dead.” I lifted an eyebrow in question. “Your father,” he growled.
“Yes, he had that effect on people. He’s like a disease that just keeps on giving. Am I correct in assuming that Yulianna did all of this because of him?”
He nodded but didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t want to push. Anything to do with my father wasn’t good, and I knew the horrible things he’d done to get his way. I’d lived through them.
“How’s my daughter?”
I lifted a shoulder and let it drop.
“About as good as you’d expect, I guess. Angry, sad, confused, but mostly…I think she’s hurt.”
“I understand all of that,” Edmundo said as I sipped my hot chocolate.
“I told her that we suspected Yuliana was alive, but didn’t have proof,” I said, and he snorted.
“I’d just gotten proof and had planned on talking to Ren tomorrow, well, I suppose now it’s today. Of course, Ana had plans of her own. I don’t think there was any good way for Ren to find out. But I’m glad you told her. I didn’t like keeping this from her.”
We sat together in silence while I finished my drink. After awhile I decided to leave him with his thoughts and stood to go.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “About my father. I have so many regrets.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. A year ago, you were not ready to take over. Despite Lawrence’s tactics, he kept order, and opening a door like that would’ve most likely gotten you and your guys killed.”
It made me feel better that I’d made the right decision not to kill him then, but at the same time…it didn’t. His actions would cause a ripple effect for years to come.
“What has happened…it is on me. I chose not to kill your father years ago for almost the same reasons. I didn’t have the backing at the time, and when I did, he was married with a child.
I wanted to rule differently. I didn’t want to be the leader who destroyed families out of spite. I wanted to be…better.”
He picked up the bottle and took a sip.
“I war with my decisions every day. If I could go back and kill him before he ever made that call to Christov, rooking him into his plan…could I do it, knowing that you would not exist? Knowing…that my daughter would never have the chance to love you. Knowing…that you would not be like a son to me. The irony of the situation is not lost on me. Fate has a sick sense of humor.”
Edmundo looked up, and the emotion in his eyes choked me. When I was younger, I’d wished that my father would look at me like this, but he never did.
“I have come to the realization that I wouldn’t change a thing, and the guilt and sorrow I carry are difficult to reconcile.”
I swallowed hard, soaking in his words. He would choose a lifetime of pain for Ren and me to be together. There was nothing I could say that would express how much that meant.
“Get some sleep. I don’t think tomorrow will be any easier,” Edmundo said, and I nodded.
“Goodnight, Edmundo, and for whatever it’s worth…I would choose you for my father every time.”
I walked out before I fucking cried in front of him.
A stray tear rolled down my face, and I swiped it away.
I’d always known that Edmundo had a reputation often attributed to great kings.
He was a noble leader who gave as much as he demanded and built loyalty in a way that provided armor against his enemies.
But I hadn’t fully understood it until now.
When I’d arrived in Italy directionless and with only a vague suggestion from Dean Henry, I could never have imagined that less than a year later, I would lay down my life for this man.
He’d given me everything in all the ways that money never could.
Trust, loyalty, love, and the most precious person in his life.
Edmundo did so without threatening me or demanding I be better.
He made the decision based solely on mutual respect.
I could never understand that until I lived it.
It also showed me the leader that I wanted to be.
Jogging up the stairs, I slipped back into the bedroom and took a moment to glance around the room. Liam and Theo were cuddled on the couch, while Myles and Blake surrounded Ren. I felt like a king watching over his people as I stood there. For better or worse, they were all mine.
I sank into the large leather chair, pulled out the footrest, and got comfortable. Just as I’d started to doze off, Ren made a noise. She was twitching and restless, and I’d bet money that I knew what she was dreaming about.
Ren sucked in a deep breath, and with the moonlight shining in through the window, I saw that she’d woken up and was staring at the ceiling. I watched her for a few minutes to see if she settled back to sleep, but she didn’t.
Grabbing my phone, I sent her a text.
N: You good over there, Princess?
Ren looked at the nightstand, and at first, I didn’t think she was going to pick it up.
Then she slowly sat up and leaned over Myles.
I smirked, watching her try not to wake him up as her fingers brushed the phone, attempting to drag it closer.
She finally got a grip on it and leaned back.
When she looked at the screen and saw who was texting her, her eyes darted up to me in the chair.
Princess: It’s weird that you can function at all with how little you sleep.
N: Well, now you know why I want to steal you every night. I only rest when you’re with me.
Princess: I’m pretty sure that is not the reason, considering we get very little rest.
I smirked.
N: I sleep like a baby in between rounds of ravishing you.
She smiled and shook her head at me.
Princess: You always have an answer, don’t you?
N: That tracks. I’ve got options on demand.
Princess: Okay, hotshot, give me an answer then. Why did my mother do this?
Ouch.
N: Okay, I don’t have an answer for that, but I can make a hypothesis based on the evidence collected to date.
I smiled at my sentence, loving how her brow furrowed before she looked up at me.
Princess: Are you trying to impress me with your big words again, Collier?”
N: I have to impress you with something other than my sexual prowess.
She snickered and covered her mouth, making me smile.
Princess: Okay…fine. Give it to me. Why do you think, based on the facts collected, that she did this?
I took a moment to compose my thoughts and ran through all we now knew. I searched my brain for timelines and flight logs from my father’s jet. I’d memorized everything the moment we started looking into the mysterious Ren Davies.
N: Are you sure you want to know?
Princess: I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t.
N: I don’t think it’s going to help you sleep any better.
Princess: I was having nothing but nightmares anyway.
I sighed.
N: I think my father found your mother. He did something to make her believe that her only escape, and the only way to protect you, was to make it look like she was dead.
She made sure that you came to Wayward and were protected by the Curators.
I think Lawrence’s initial plan was to wait until you graduated and then force you to marry him. We ruined that.
Ren nibbled her lip. The glow of her phone illuminated her face, and I could see the worry etched into her beautiful features.
Princess: But why not just go to my father? You’ve seen how powerful he is, how many alliances he has. I’m sure he would’ve helped.
N: I’m afraid only your mother can answer that. But…
Princess: What? Don’t I have the right to ask?
N: You do, but I don’t know if you should. Look, whatever happened had to be bad. If it has anything to do with my father, maybe it’s better we don’t know.
She closed her eyes and rested her head back on the headboard. I waited and let her process what I’d said.
Princess: I’m scared.
N: I don’t think she’s here to hurt you or your father.
Princess: No, I mean, I’m scared she is going to disappear again.
She stormed in yesterday to kill Vadin. What if she takes off to complete her mission, and I never see her again?
Will she go back into hiding, or will she die trying to kill him once he has time to regroup and protect himself?
And I don’t know if I want her to kill him until we find out why he’s here.
N: I think the reason he is here is obvious. He knew your mother was coming after him. Vadin is here to use you as a shield. And as far as I’m concerned…the fact that he knew and didn’t say anything makes him shady as fuck.
Ren looked up from her phone, her eyes locking with mine.
N: I could be wrong, but the timing is too coincidental.
Buttering you up with one of your mother’s paintings, humanizing himself with a sob story.
Maybe I’m wrong, maybe there is more to it, but I really don’t think so.
Then again, I was born skeptical. Ask Liam when he wakes up. He’s better with that sort of thing.
Princess: I hate to think that is the only reason he’s here, but I’ve always been the type to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
N: That’s because you’re a good person and want to see the good in others, but sometimes there’s simply no good to be found.
N: Okay, enough of this deep, emotional talk. Time to go to sleep or come over here.
I held back the smile as she scowled at me from across the room.
N: You did say whenever and wherever, but I wasn’t going to bug you since your mother resurrected herself tonight. I thought that warranted a pass. But…if you insist on remaining awake, we may as well make better use of our time.
She shook her head at me, and the annoyance in her eyes was sexy as fuck. I ran my lip through my teeth, and she cocked her eyebrow in an elegant arch.
Princess: You’re the worst. I swear.
I smiled wide.
N: But you love it.
Princess: Do I?
N: Sure do. It’s why you chose to stay married to me.
Princess: Pretty sure your sexual stamina was not the reason.
N: Really? Huh. I could’ve sworn you were just hot for my cock.
She grabbed the pillow behind her and whipped it at me, but it landed six feet short. I laughed as I looked at it, where it had harmlessly fallen, and then up to her. Ren had her arms crossed and was muttering to herself, but I was pretty sure she was plotting my death.
N: Looks like you dropped something.
Princess: ASSHOLE!
N: Maybe, but I bet you feel better.
She rolled her eyes but didn’t deny it.
Getting up, I grabbed the pillow and walked to the end of the bed. I was tempted to crawl up there and push Blake and Myles out of the way. The idea of them hitting the floor, all confused, held a certain appeal, but I decided to behave myself—just this once.
“It’s going to be okay, Princess. No matter what happens, you have us, your dad, and friends who love you. You’ve built an entire life here. Whatever your mother tells you won’t change that,” I whispered.
Ren dropped her eyes to her hands.
“Hey?”
When she looked up again, I tossed the pillow at her. She caught it and held it to her chest.
“I’m serious. There is nothing she can say that will derail you.”
“How can you be so sure?”
I smiled at her.
“Because I’m Nash Fucking Collier. I know everything.”
“You’re making me want to throw this pillow at you again.”
“Love you, too, Princess. Now go to sleep, we’ve got you.”
Turning, I headed back to my chair.
“Nash?” I glanced over my shoulder. “Thank you.”
I winked at her.
“Anytime.”
Ren settled down under the covers and closed her eyes as I sat watching her. I made sure that she was sound asleep before I grabbed my gun and leaned my head back, watching the door. Nothing and no one was getting in here.
In my heart, I truly believed that Yuliana was not here to harm Ren, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t try to take her. That—would only happen over my dead body.