Chapter 71
Yuliana
My fingers tapped atop my knee as we drove down a road that I honestly never thought I’d see again.
I’d memorized the route to Wayward years ago, but even though it mostly looked the same, it was also completely different. Different signs, taller trees, and new houses all announced the passing of time, but the mountain still looked as beautiful and intimidating as ever.
Everything I saw said twenty years had come and gone, and I was no longer the sheltered, naive teen who had arrived with huge hopes and unrealistic dreams. That was before I knew the bitter taste of betrayal or the sourness of hate.
“You sure this is a good idea,” Vlad asked, pulling me out of my reverie.
“Ren said she wanted some time, but I can’t let it go any longer,” I said.
“You do remember how much your daughter is like you, don’t you,” Mylo asked this time, and I took a deep breath.
“Yes…well, then hopefully she will understand why I need to see her. Why I couldn’t wait anymore.”
They looked at each other before glancing back at me like I was an idiot, and I wanted to knock their heads together.
We pulled up to the massive gates, and I smiled as I stared at the golden WA built into the middle of the otherwise black, imposing structure.
“State your name and business,” the guard said as he approached the SUV.
I put my window down.
“Yuliana Mikhailov and I have an appointment with Dean Henry.”
That was completely untrue, but I was going to see him first, so why not use it to my advantage? The guard relayed the information, and with a nod, the gates opened. Good old Paul, he always came through, even when he was reluctant.
We drove down the winding road to the front of the school and stopped. Vlad turned to look at me.
“No,” I said before he could ask. “I’m not changing my mind.”
“Okay, it’s your funeral,” he said, and I shook my head at him. “We’ll wait in the parking lot.”
Grumbling, I got out. There was no point in telling them off. We’d been together longer than most relationships lasted. The two of them sure as hell loved to remind me of the fact that they were more like family than bodyguards.
Standing in front of these doors was surreal.
If I had been given a choice, I wouldn’t have left unless it was to move in with Eddie.
This place was everything I’d ever wanted.
It might not seem like freedom to many, but for me…
coming here had been like escaping a prison.
I had finally been able to live a normal life, have friends, and experience everything I had been denied.
I couldn’t stop smiling as I walked inside, and everything looked the same. Refreshed, repaired in places, but ultimately the same. It still had the strange, homey smell that made no sense. But mixed with the wood, stone, and marble, there was something completely nostalgic about it.
The secretaries were gone when I stepped into the main office, but Paul was leaning against his doorframe with two drinks in hand. Even though his face gave nothing away, his eyes were filled with happiness that I’d grown to count on and love.
“Hello, stranger. I didn’t get to greet you properly at dinner, and I thought I’d better swing by,” I said.
He smiled before sipping his drink.
“Liar, you’re here to see your daughter. But I’ll take the visit and your thanks since I’m still waiting for the card in the mail,” he teased.
I nodded to the drink.
“Have I driven you to double-fisting, now, or is one of those for me?”
With a very typical Paul smirk, he held out the glass. Taking it, I hugged him before he could escape.
“I’ve missed you,” I said.
Paul didn’t really hug me back. He never did. For as long as I’d known him, it was always a one-armed, awkward gesture. I’d grown so used to it that it was now just part of his charm.
As I pulled away, I kissed his cheek.
“Thank you for everything. You’ve been a real friend, and I can never repay you.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve been keeping a tab, and I’ll call in the favors at some point.”
I laughed. “Now that I believe.”
We stepped into his office, and he closed the door. Even this room hadn’t changed, except for the pictures on the walls.
“God, I remember the first time I was in here. It’s like strolling through all these old memories being here. I feel all sentimental,” I said, taking a sip of the very expensive brandy. I swirled the glass and looked at the dark shade of amber. “Wow, this is good.”
“Should be, I spent a fortune on it,” Paul said, unbuttoning his suit jacket before sitting and leaning back in his chair. It was the most he ever relaxed. “And you should feel special. I haven’t even offered Eddie a glass. Mind you, the last time he was here, I was pretty pissed at him.”
“It’s our secret,” I said, and took a deep breath. “How are you, Paul? All these years you’ve helped me and looked after my family, and I never get to ask about you.”
He shrugged. “Not much to tell.”
“Do you ever regret it? Taking on the school, the responsibility, being keeper of secrets?”
He removed his glasses and set them on his desk.
“All the time,” he said, his voice sad, and I hated that for him.
I loved him like a best friend, and he’d been there for Eddie and me over and over again throughout the years. I so hoped that he would say he was married or at least happy.
“You still haven’t met Mrs. Right? Do you not go out? Date? I’m sure I can find you fifty ladies who would snap you up. Just say the word, and I’ll make it happen.”
Paul chuckled and shook his head.
“No, it’s not in the cards for me. But I do feel fulfilled, and I have to say it’s been really great having Eddie around. Family meals have never been so much fun.”
“I heard about Thanksgiving,” I said with a laugh. But it wasn’t all that funny. “And now here I am making a scene at Eddie’s birthday. I really fucked up. I’ve chased Vadin around the world and back, and I still let my emotions get the better of me.”
“You and Eddie are too much alike. Did he tell you what happened here?”
I nodded and groaned.
“So, you both made the same mistake when he was served on a silver platter, not once, but twice.”
“Oh sure, rub it in.” I leaned forward and put my arms on the desk. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Putting you in the position to have to lie to my daughter. I now realize that wasn’t fair, and she will have a hard time trusting you again. That is my fault, and I hate that I did that to you and her,” I said.
“Yuli…this life is not an easy one, and it is filled with choices every day that affect an outcome we never see coming. We turn left at a stop sign and avoid a fatal collision at the next set of lights. We didn’t know it could have been our last day on earth.
We all think that we’re in control, but we’re not. ”
“You mean the butterfly effect or the Curators?”
He smirked. “Bit of both. The point is that, lie or no lie, my directive remained the same. Protect. I did the best I could and saved Ren from dozens of mishaps she doesn’t even know about, but life…
is just life. The only incident I regret, and sadly didn’t see coming, was Axel.
So, you see…even me, with all my secrets and knowledge, I make mistakes. ”
My nostrils flared as I sat back. When Ella had texted me from the hospital, I almost flew here that night. If it hadn’t been for Ella urging me to continue and swearing to look after Ren, I would’ve.
I trusted her to protect my child so I could dismantle some of the most corrupt and evil organizations that had done nothing but harm innocent people.
Three of the men funding my father’s business were child traffickers.
Their empires were destroyed, they were tortured and then shot by my hand, and the children were freed.
In my long line of mistakes, those wins had to help balance the scales…at least, I hoped they did.
God, how I missed Ella and our weekly catch-up texts about life and Ren. Just another reason to despise Lawrence Collier.
“I miss Ella,” I suddenly said, my voice cracking.
“We all do,” Paul said, and then he cleared his throat as he might actually let me see him emotional. “If you ever want company to go to her grave, I visit her from time to time and pay my respects.”
Of course, Paul would. He had a heart of gold, and yet no one ever got to see it. He might be the most misunderstood person in this entire place.
“I’d really like that,” I said.
“I’ll let you know when I’m going next,” he said, and we fell silent, each lost in our own thoughts.
I’d always secretly thought that Paul was in love with Ella.
He’d never said a word to me, but it was the way his eyes lingered when she wasn’t looking and how he smiled a little brighter when she was around.
It had made me believe that one day I would hear they were dating, but it never happened.
Then Ella met Ethan, and the rest was history.
“Paul, I keep asking everyone this question, so I feel like I have to ask you, too.”
“You want to know if what you did was worth it,” Paul said, reading my mind. He’d always been able to do that.
“Yuli, there is literally nothing I can say, good or bad, that you will find satisfactory, because what you’re looking for can only be answered by you and your daughter.”
I ran my finger along the smooth edge of the glass as I stared into the brandy, wishing for simple answers that would never come.
“How is it that you’ve always been so smart?”
“I don’t know about that, but I can tell you this…I wouldn’t be sitting in this chair right now if it weren’t for you,” Paul said, and I looked up into his eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“Your friendship gave me the confidence to become more than just the quiet kid living in Ed’s shadow, or the loser bullied by Lawrence, or even the nerd who knew everything in class.
You made me feel seen. You made it okay for me to be me.
I wouldn’t have been here to help Ren if you hadn’t helped me years earlier. ”
“I…I never knew that,” I said, wiping a tear from the corner of my eye.
“I know. You couldn’t have known in that moment that treating me like a friend and not a freak would turn into this friendship that has spanned so many years. And you certainly cannot expect to know every outcome of what you’ve done.”
“That’s not terrifying at all,” I said, and Paul smirked. “Have you seen her since the dinner?”
“I’ve seen her, but she has not seen me. She’s doing okay. Ren is tough, but I’m not surprised with you and Eddie as her parents.”
“You do know that you sound like a creepy stalker, right?” I smiled as he burst out laughing.
This felt good. It felt right. It reminded me that my past wasn’t just filled with sadness and pain.
“Technically, I am a creepy stalker. It’s in my job description…minus the creepy part.” Paul used his glass to point toward his closed door. “If they only knew how much I actually know.”
I shook my head, finished my drink, and set the glass down. Then, I took a deep breath and sighed.
“Will you show me to my daughter’s room?”
He shook his head.
“You’re serious? You really aren’t going to let me see her?”
“Pfft. Nonsense, by all means, visit your daughter. But I’m not going with you.” Paul chuckled. “You’re completely on your own for this one.”
I rolled my eyes. “Alright, what is her room number?”
“Five-eighty-seven,” Paul said as I stood.
That can’t be right.
“But that’s…why is her room in the boy’s wing?”
Paul leaned back in his leather chair, the look on his face far too smug for my liking.
“Her room is not in the boy’s wing, but that’s where you’ll find her.”
He lifted his glass in a mock salute and then finished the drink.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
Paul’s lip curved up, humor dancing in his eyes, but he didn’t say another word. Yup, whatever the answer, I wasn’t going to like it.
“You really are a troublemaker,” I mumbled.
He chuckled as I opened the door. I paused and looked at my friend and smiled, hoping he knew how much he meant to me, then walked out. Paul was an enigma inside a paradox, living in an impossible equation, and yet I wouldn’t want him any other way.
Marching across the foyer, I ignored the stares and prepared myself to face my daughter. I could only pray that this time I found the right words and that one day Ren would find it in her to forgive me.