CHAPTER 12 #2
I want to talk to him. Find out more about how he is with his mate. Find out if it is common for human females to be utterly baffling to their males. Perhaps he will have advice for me. Kef knows I could use some. Every time I think I have an idea of what is going on, April proves me wrong.
I trail after Bek, following at a safe distance as he moves across the camp, and as I walk, I try to decide how to phrase my questions.
Do I ask specifics? Or do I try a broader approach?
I don't know him well enough to calculate this.
Actually, I don't know anyone in the camp well enough to determine this. Perhaps Corvak.
Is this what April means when she says I need friends? People who will give me advice and not look at me as if I am a strange three-headed creature if I speak to them?
Does...this mean Corvak is my friend? Ugh.
I'm busy thinking about how irritating Corvak can be when he's in a stubborn mood (which is near constant) when Bek scowls over his shoulder. "What do you want?"
I ignore the twinges of pain in my leg and keep my steps even, catching up to him. "I wish to talk to you."
"Why." The word is flat and not entirely a question. His eyes are mistrustful slits as he glares at me.
"Because..." I struggle to find an answer that does not make me sound like a fool. "My female — my mate — is confusing. I don't know what to think."
Bek pauses, considering this. He stops in his tracks and I do too, my ankle giving an unpleasant twinge. "The other taters have no advice? They are your tribe."
"Are they?" I comment, wry. "Have you met them? Would you take advice from any of them?"
He snorts, his stance relaxing a bit. His arms cross over his chest. "They are a strange lot."
"I am sure they are fine fighters," I continue.
"But we are males who have been kept separated from females all our lives.
They are not going to be the ones I go to for advice on relationships.
" Even thinking about it now, I know it would be a disaster.
Skarr would just go on and on about Vivi and how incredible she is and that females use mind control.
Kyth would stare at me as if that is somehow an answer.
Jason would be annoying and overfriendly.
And I will die before I ask Chalath for advice on anything. He thinks he knows everything already.
Bek rubs his chin, considering my words. "I do not know if I am the best when it comes to advice, but I will share what I know. What is the problem?"
"I do not understand the rules," I blurt, frustrated. "I am trying to do everything I can to please April, and yet the more I do, the less happy she is."
"The best thing to know when it comes to females is that there are no rules.
" He puffs up, his expression turning proud.
"My Elly is the best thing that has happened to me, but I still get things wrong even when I try to make her happy.
We think differently, but I value her thoughts because it allows me to see a different perspective. "
"But I don't know what that other perspective is because it keeps changing," I grit out. "One day April is happy with me and the next she is disappointed."
He tilts his head, regarding me. "What did you do?"
"Why do you assume it was me who did something?"
Bek's expression turns knowledgeable. "When females get mad, it is usually over something we did that hurt their feelings. They will not tell us because to them it is obvious, and our lack of awareness just hurts their feelings more."
Angry over feelings? "Bah, it is not that. April is tough. Her feelings are not in play."
His expression turns pitying. "If you say so."
This just irritates me more. I know April better than anyone. She talks a lot. She would surely tell me if something I did bothered her. She has certainly never held back her opinions before. How many times has she told me she doesn't want to look at me? That I annoy her?
Even so, those retorts felt like...affection rather than irritation. Like playfulness. I want that playfulness back. Bek continues walking, and though my ankle throbs a protest, I keep pace at his side. "Have you made your mate angry in the past?"
He laughs. "Many, many times. She has thrown things at me, too, when the words did not sufficiently describe her anger."
His mate? I picture the fragile, quiet human always paired with Bek. I cannot imagine her standing up to him, much less throwing things at him in a rage. "What rules did you break?"
"This is where you are confused," Bek says. "When it comes to making your mate happy, there are no rules."
This is even more maddening to hear. "Rules govern everything."
"Your mate is your mate. She is going to think differently than others. She might want different things than others. It is up to you to find out what she wants and provide it for her."
Could this be the least helpful conversation I've had yet? Possibly. "She won't tell me what's wrong, but I am supposed to somehow decipher what bothers her and fix it?"
"Precisely." Bek seems amused at my confusion.
I shake my head. If he doesn't know the answer to my question, he should just say so.
He is saying a lot of words but none of them mean anything.
Still, it does feel good to talk to another who is confessing that he has no clue what his mate wants most of the time.
It makes me feel less...alone in the situation.
Perhaps all females are difficult to understand at times and that is what he's trying to tell me.