CHAPTER 14
APRIL
I spend most of the afternoon running between my hut and the caves designated as safe storage.
There's always more to be packed up and tucked away, and every time I want to take a break, another nautilus is beaching itself, and it makes me move faster.
I'm sure I could live without rolled-up hides that I haven't had a chance to turn into leather yet, or this pile of bones that will someday become tools, but with how difficult everything is to come by here, I'm not taking chances.
Dawn returns from a hunting excursion with Chalath, Jason and Natalie.
She finds me hauling a basket of furs to the caves and I quickly explain what's happening.
At her direction, Chalath takes the basket from me and hauls it the rest of the way.
I put my hands on my hips to take a break, my shoulders and lower back aching.
"Holy shit, that is wild," Dawn says, putting a hand to her brow and gazing off at the shells on the shore. "I've never seen anything like it."
"I know. I don't think I was prepared for the reality."
"How can you be?" She shakes her head. "This is some crazy dinosaur shit. Devi must be having a field day."
Oh, she definitely is. Devi might be having the best day of her life.
Whenever one of the gigantic nautili parks itself, she's out there with a length of rope, measuring the size and making note of it on a piece of leather.
Her patient spouse trails after her, holding her things like the world's biggest lab assistant.
"How much more of our stuff do we need to grab?" she asks me.
I wipe sweat from my brow with the back of my hand. "Most of it is up here already," I say. "I've got maybe two baskets of stuff left and that's it. Natalie will probably need more help. I can handle this."
"You're sure?" Dawn asks.
I nod. "Two baskets is doable." Hell, after this afternoon, two baskets left feels like a vacation.
"I can help with those baskets," Chalath says. "Then I will be over to assist Natalie."
He glances over at Natalie, but the other woman is busy picking shells up from the beach.
She turns one over, exclaiming, and then puts it down again, muttering to herself.
Natalie has some weird fixation about finding whole shells and gets easily distracted.
Helping her pack is probably a good idea.
"Go for it. I've got this. We'll just need to figure out sleeping arrangements for the night, but that's a problem for later. "
"Makana?" Dawn asks.
"Valmir's watching him for me." I head back down the sandy beach, towards my hut. It's not anywhere near the sea creatures that have hauled themselves onto the shore, but I don't want to take any chances. I don't want to be the one dummy who didn't get their stuff moved in time.
Chalath follows me, quiet, and when I duck into my hut again, Valmir is still seated on the stool by the door.
Makana is on his back, his furry belly exposed to the air while Valmir scratches him.
Valmir bristles at the sight of Chalath.
The two cat aliens glare at each other for a moment, and I grab the nearest basket and hand it off. "Thanks for helping."
"Of course," Chalath says. He pauses by the door, nostrils flaring, and shoots Valmir a look before leaving. My face gets hot, as I can only imagine what he smells, but it's too late to worry about something like that. I grab the last basket.
Valmir gets to his feet. "I can carry that."
"Keep watching Makana. I've got this," I reply, heading after Chalath. "Back in a few."
After the last of the baskets are dumped, I part ways with Chalath. He heads off towards Natalie's hut and I return to my now-empty one. Valmir is on the edge of the platform with Makana tucked under his arm like a football, and his tail is lashing furiously.
I'm suddenly exhausted and I don't want to pick a fight.
I sit down on the platform next to where Valmir is standing and relax, gazing out at the ocean view.
There's another large shell rising out of the water, and the slushy waves frame several others that haven't moved since I last saw them. "Did I miss anything?"
"No." After a moment's hesitation, he sits down carefully next to me, favoring his ankle. "Most people are leaving for the night. Even Devi has put away her notes."
"Makes sense. Not much you can do after dark." I push the tip of my boot into the sand. "Really, not much you can do even in the sunlight other than get out of their way."
I gaze out at the shoreline. There are seven of the big snails in varying sizes that have pushed themselves up on the shore.
People were gathered around them for a while, but the beach is deserted now.
Everyone's probably tired from transporting stuff or figuring out where they're going to sleep tonight.
I'm not too concerned because I just have myself and Makana to look after, but I think of the people like Angie or Steph who have small kids. That's a lot more to consider.
Thinking about kids makes me think about my own situation all over again.
My khui is still throbbing frantically, but it feels less insistent at the moment because I'm so tired.
There's a solution, I think wryly. Just work myself to exhaustion every day and it's easy to ignore resonance. Problem solved.
I lean back on my hands and glance over at Valmir to see how he's faring. Does he seem as hollow-eyed as he was the other day or is he better? It's hard to tell in the fading afternoon light. He won't look over at me, either. "How's the ankle?"
He shoots me a look. "How's Chalath?"
Oh, someone's pissy. "Why can't we ever have a normal conversation, Valmir?"
"Because we're resonating. We can't be normal around each other. We can only be completely unnatural." His tail thumps with agitation.
I make a face at that. "Speaking of resonating, do you want to move forward with this tomorrow? Taking Makana home? Or does your ankle need more time to heal up?"
"You want to do it tomorrow?" He won't look over at me. It's as if making eye contact will somehow send him over the edge. I know how that feels. Even sitting here next to him feels dangerous.
"We need to get ourselves figured out. Might as well do it tomorrow."
He notices my flat tone and his brows go up. "So enthusiastic."
"I'm just tired." Tired in body and tired in spirit. This was originally a fun challenge, but the fun has gone and left a sourness in my belly and a defeat in my soul. My life has been planned out for me whether I like it or not. Best to get it over with and figure out how to move forward.
He grunts, handing me my pet. "Then I will see you tomorrow."
I get the vague sense that I've hurt his feelings all over again, and I collect Makana from him, cradling the creature in my arms. He settles in against me, tucking his smaller body to mine.
Valmir leaves, heading up the beach for the healer's hut, and I could swear he's limping.
My heart aches. Such a liar, saying he's fine.
I stay for a while longer, staring out at the beach and the darkness and wondering what tomorrow will bring.
It's my last night with Makana, my sweet little friend who has come to be such an anchor for me in what feels like such a turbulent time.
His leg is all healed up, which means it's past time for him to go home.
He's never used the cage that Valmir built for him, preferring to huddle under my blankets and curl up with me to sleep.
He's the least curious and adventurous animal I've ever met, and I suspect he'd probably be perfectly happy in my hut for the rest of his days.
That doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to go home. I'm just his caretaker, his hānai, and it's my job to take my sweet little guest back to the wild so he can live his best life.
He deserves to be wild and free and happy.
And me? I don't know what comes next for me. Raising a baby with a guy who's impossible to read and even more impossible to please? With someone who doesn't want to even be around the others who have come to be family to me?
I wish we weren't such a mess. I wish resonance was so much easier to figure out.
I wish my partner was even vaguely interested in the life I'm trying to build. How long can you force someone to be somewhere they don't want to be in the slightest? What if I build everything up again just to have it all torn away from me once more?