Chapter 31 – Violet“mad woman” – Taylor Swift
VIOLET
VIOLET“MAD WOMAN” – TAYLOR SWIFT
“You know, I haven’t missed an appointment in months. You probably don’t need to be my chaperone anymore.”
Darby frowns at me from the driver’s seat of her baby blue Mustang, blond hair whipping around her face in the wind as we cruise down the main drag of Pacific Shores. “I like coming with you. It gets me out of the shop. Plus, you never say no to any of the lunch places I want to eat.”
I shrug. That’s true. And she’s been on a pizza kick lately, which is unfortunate for me and my lactose intolerance, because I can’t turn down cheese to save my goddamn life.
“You seem to be doing well, though.” Her hazel eyes flick to me from behind her sunglasses. “Is that because of therapy or…something else?”
I roll my eyes, coughing a laugh. “Therapy does help, but so does she.”
Kelsey and I dove deeper into my past with Elena, and to my utter surprise, Kelsey never once made me feel guilty about it. About being with Elena then, or being with her now, about falling in love with my brother’s girlfriend and refusing to let her go, even after he died.
She does think it’s a complex situation, and the only way to find resolution is if Elena and I learn to be completely honest with each other, communicate better, and adopt some healthier outlets for our grief.
Today, though, she told me that she actually thinks I’m making strides in that, and it finally feels like hope is beginning to bloom.
“Leo has been asking about you two a lot.” She arches a brow. “Asking what I know—if there is something going on.”
“I don’t expect you to lie to your husband for me, Darbs.”
“I know.” She sighs. “And I wouldn’t. But you don’t tell me much either, so I’m essentially as in the dark as he is. The only thing I know is how you feel, but I don’t know how she feels or what you two are up to.”
I swallow awkwardly, my cheeks heating.
She only laughs. “The guys definitely suspect you’re having sex, but if it’s more than that…I think you owe them a conversation about it.”
I nod. I have enough respect for my two best friends to ensure they understand I wouldn’t take advantage of their sister in any sense of the word, but considering our history, I think they know that already. They know I love her; what they don’t understand is the depths of it.
I can’t explain that to them without explaining everything, and that’s where I begin to hesitate.
Someday, we’ll need to sit them down and tell them the entirety of our history. It’ll be painful for all of us, but I think it’s the only way Elena and I can have any kind of future.
“Is it?” Darby asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“What?”
“Is it just sex?” She parks in the lot behind the boardwalk, taking the space in front of Honeysuckle Florals before killing the engine and turning to face me.
“I only ask because if this arrangement is some kind of…coping mechanism for the two of you, I worry about the outcome, were it to end. Would she turn back to alcohol if you got into a fight?” She lifts her sunglasses above her head, revealing soft, solemn eyes.
“Would you begin to have your…thoughts again?”
“No. No, Darby.” I shake my head. “I’m doing better about all of that, I promise.
Elena is too. It is more than sex,” I admit.
“And I have no intention of it ever ending, but we’re still trying to figure out what our version of more is.
What our version of happiness looks like.
” I rub the back of my neck anxiously. “I think we just need the time and space to figure that out on our own before we start involving other people. It creates complications we’re not yet fit to handle. ”
“I get it.” She nods. “Eventually, though, you’ll both need to address it with her family.
They’ve been trying to hold her together for years—especially Everett.
They still worry, and normally I tell Leo to stay out of things, but considering the circumstances, they deserve to be told face-to-face that she’s going to be taken care of.
” Darby smiles softly. “She needs to do the same for you too.”
“I know.” I sigh, pulling my phone out of my pocket and checking the time—I still have about an hour before my next appointment. “I’m going to stop into the coffee shop real quick and see her before she heads home for the day.”
Darby grins knowingly. “I’ll come with you. I need to ask Dahlia a question about my baby shower.”
I hop out of the passenger side and jog around the front to open her door, holding her hand as she lifts herself out.
She’s only about a month away from her due date, and by the way she waddles toward the back door to The Wicked Wildflower, her discomfort is growing about as rapidly as her baby girl.
The bakery is fairly busy as we walk inside. Almost every table is occupied with patrons working, reading, or quietly chatting with others. It’s brightly decorated in an orange and blue retro aesthetic, with floral paintings and vintage artwork lining the walls.
My eyes find the counter where I know I’ll find Elena. I do a double-take when I land on her face, because she’s wearing the vexed expression I usually find alluring. The deep-set brows, narrowed and blazing eyes, scrunched nose and pouted lips that tell me she’s hovering on the cusp of violence.
That look often has me fighting a battle between lust and lunacy, but in this moment, it has me coiling in fear, because my mother is the person on the receiving end of that look.
VICE
"Who do you think you are, living inside his house?”
Sadie Hayes seethes at me. Her heavily botoxed face is beet red, green eyes that match the color of her son’s are scrunched and narrowed beneath pounds of eye makeup, and lips peeling back as she bares her veneers right at me.
I’m making a great effort to appear unbothered, and I think I’m failing.
I want to fucking deck her. The only reasons I don’t are out of respect for the two children of hers that I deeply love, and because I don’t want to cause a scene in my sister-in-law’s business.
But she’s a terrible fucking person and an awful mother, and the fact that she had the audacity to ruin my Thursday by showing up in my place of work to demand I move out of the house I pay rent to stay in, has me right on the edge of jumping over the counter and ripping her hair out.
“Mom?” August’s voice is like salvation, and I shudder in relief at the sound.
Sadie spins, taking in the sight of her son—and Darby, standing behind him with a hesitant expression and a hand on her belly.
“Hi, love.” She opens her arms, stepping toward him. His face is etched in stone as he glances at me with an apologetic expression, avoiding her hug. “I have to go to Los Angeles this weekend, so I thought I’d pop over here a day early to see you.”
“You didn’t think to tell me you were coming first?” he asks, eyes withdrawn as they flick from her to me. “And why are you here in the bakery of all places?”
“I stopped into the tattoo parlor, but the cute little worker told me you were out to lunch, so I figured I’d grab a coffee while I waited for you.” She clears her throat. “I wanted to surprise you.”
August cuts his gaze to me, unconvinced. “Elena?”
Sadie turns, eyeing me with an expression that says not a word.
Like I’d ever fucking listen to her.
“I don’t think Sadie expected to see me working here when she walked in, so I caught her off guard.
” I force a smile, watching her swallow uncomfortably.
“We’re just catching up. I asked her how she’s liking Palm Springs, and she told me I’m wretched and demanded I move out of your house immediately. ”
She scoffs, rolling her eyes as she places a hand on her hip. “I did not use the word wretched.”
August’s eyes glaze over in a way that makes my heart ache. Like a parent watching their child throw a tantrum, and mentally preparing themselves to pull everything together and resolve the situation, even while falling apart on the inside.
Sadie Hayes is insecure and vain. Addicted to wellness fads, loving nothing more than to toss a snide remark at anyone eating dairy or gluten, all while happy to ignore the fact she has a penchant for painkillers she wasn’t prescribed.
She never came to terms with the fact that she didn’t reach the level of stardom as an actress that she had dreamed about when she was young.
What the rest of the world saw as a woman settling down to raise a family, Sadie saw as the epitome of failure.
She resented her husband and her boys ever since, expecting constant praise and validation to fill the void left behind by Hollywood while remaining negligent and self-serving. Her husband, Alex, is just as checked out as she is, doing whatever he can to avoid her outbursts and ignore her issues.
I think all August and Zach ever craved was her approval, but she’s the type of person who will never think anything is good enough. Not herself, not those around her.
She can’t be pleased, and she’ll never be happy.
With a tight jaw and a heavy sigh, August nods toward a table in the corner of the cafe. “Can we sit over there and talk, please? I have an appointment in a little while, but we can visit until then.”
She smiles, patting his cheek before walking over to the table and sitting down.
August looks to me, defeat and embarrassment present on his face.
He steps to the counter, leaning across it.
“I am so fucking sorry. I don’t know what she said to you, but I need you to forget it, okay?
You’re not going anywhere, and she has no right to be speaking to you like that.
” He kisses my cheek softly. “Let me deal with her so she can get out of our hair.”
“You shouldn’t have to deal with her either, Augustus. You need to tell her that the way she, and your father, have treated you is deplorable.” I take his hand off the counter and fold my fingers around his. “You don’t need to keep this facade with them. You owe them nothing.”