Chapter 25
Jude
I fucked her, good and proper.
And what did Mina do?
She pulled a goddamn knife on me.
Fuck.
I had tried so hard not to give in to my urges… to give in to my addiction.
I tried so fucking hard…
But apparently, spending most of the night with Mina and not being able to touch her like I wanted to was too much for me to handle.
She said she doesn’t feel anything for me.
She said to leave the past where it belongs.
But her words don’t match her actions.
Her disdain and contempt don’t match the way her body responded to my touch—like it was made for just that purpose.
It was only after the haze of lust had evaporated that Mina became this unfeeling thing.
A thing of my creation.
I did this. Me. I ruined her.
I turned her into this weapon, her tongue sharpened to perfection, knowing exactly what to say to cause the most destruction.
But should I even be surprised?
I chose my family over her love, and for that, I will never be absolved of such a sin.
There was a period when I deceived myself into believing I should never have left London. I should have stayed and pledged my allegiance to the Firm like she wanted me to. If I had done that, I would have still been able to do what I loved and gotten the girl of my dreams.
But then I remembered the strings that came attached to Victor’s offer.
If I had stayed behind and married Mina, The Firm would have never accepted her as Victor’s successor—not when they could have had her husband step into the role.
And what a crime that would have been, considering she excels in it far beyond anything I could have ever aspired to.
Even if I didn’t have the weight of my own birthright to carry, I would never dream of stealing hers.
I have my doubts that her current fiancé is as selfless.
While Victor may have named Mina as his heir, I believe he’s underestimated Felix’s ambition. There’s no way the underboss will sit quietly on the sidelines, taking orders from his wife for long.
No.
Even at Mina’s induction, I saw how Felix didn’t flinch in the face of those waiting for her to fail. He’ll turn those same doubters into allies, using them to seize power the moment he gets the chance.
And by then, neither Victor, Remus, nor Rolo will be able to stop him—unless they drive a dagger into his chest.
I just hope Mina realizes that Felix’s ambition far outweighs his honor or loyalty before it’s too late.
“Hey, are you okay?” Stella’s worried voice pulls me from my thoughts.
“I’m fine, Stella. Just thinking.”
“I can tell by the smoke coming out of your ears,” she teases before sitting beside me on the stairs, bumping her shoulder against mine. “Want to talk about it?”
I glance at my little sister and smile. “You really don’t want to be bothered with my shit, little firecracker. Trust me.”
“Hey, lay it on me. You never know. Sometimes, talking things out can bring clarity.”
“You sound like Marcello.” I offer a weak smile.
“Good. He was always my favorite brother anyway.” She winks.
“Ouch!” I laugh, the sound foreign to my ears.
“See? I’m making you feel better already.” She grins widely. “Now, tell me what’s on your mind, big brother. Let me lift the weight of your baggage for a little bit.”
“Trust me, my baggage is better off neatly packed and stored away where no one can see.”
“Fine, don’t tell me.” She huffs, clearly disappointed with my refusal to confide in her. Then, with a smirk, she adds, “But I’d bet you my lucky dagger that whatever is on your mind has to do with Mina Crane.”
My eyes widen at her perceptiveness.
Fuck.
Was Marcello right? Am I that easy to read?
“I knew it!” she whistles, pleased with herself that she got it right on the first try. “You’ve been off ever since she got here.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Oh, yes, you have. You’ve been sulking like a moody teenager. It’s not a good look on you, big bro.”
“Geez, thanks,” I grumble.
“Just calling it like I see it. Now spill.”
“There’s nothing to spill. And even if there was, I wouldn’t be talking to my seventeen-year-old sister about it.”
“That means sex… Oh, my God! You two boned!”
“Jesus Christ, Stella! Keep your voice down.”
“What? People bone all the time. It’s human nature.”
“I’m not having this conversation with you.” I push myself up to my feet, putting as much distance between us as possible.
“If you don’t talk to me, who else will you talk to?” She rushes to follow me down the corridor. “Not Marcello. I bet he’s still a virgin.”
“And you’re not?” I ask over my shoulder and immediately regret it when I see the glint in her eyes.
“I’ve fooled around,” she admits smugly, forcing me to halt my step and swiftly turn around.
“First, don’t say shit like that to me ever again. Second, if I ever find out who laid a hand on you, I’ll kill him myself. And third, you better pray that Dad never finds out because he’ll do so much worse than just kill the poor bastard.”
“Which one?” She tilts her head slightly to the left, looking confused.
“You fooled around with more than one guy?!” My eyes widen in alarm.
“No, idiot. Which dad?”
“All three of them, Stella,” I say flatly. “All fucking three.”
“Fine.” She sighs. “Then let’s put my sex life on the back burner and talk about yours instead.”
“I said no.” I rush my steps down the hallway again.
“Oh, come on. You gotta give me something? Who made the first move? Was it you? Was it her? I bet it was her. Did you two smash more than once? Oh, shit! You did, didn’t you?” She laughs at my pain.
“I’m not listening,” I mutter, plugging my ears with my thumbs.
“Jesus, Jude, when did you become such a prude? We’re all adults here. Stop acting like a fucking child.”
I stop in my tracks yet again and turn around to face my baby sister once more.
“No. I’m the adult. You’re the child.”
“I’m seventeen—legal, as far as the state of Illinois is concerned,” she has the audacity to say with a straight face.
“No, you’re a Romano. Vincent Romano’s eldest daughter, to be more precise. If word got out that you’ve… that you…”
“Had sex?” she supplies unrepentantly.
“That.” I grit my teeth. “It wouldn’t bode well for the family.”
“Right, cause principessas have to stay virtuous until marriage,” she states with a scowl. “God, I hate how misogynistic this family is.”
I know when she says ‘family,’ she doesn’t mean our own. She means the famiglia.
“It’s the twenty-first century. A woman can have sex if she wants to. I bet you didn’t care about Mina being a virgin when you had sex with her.” Heat rises to my cheeks, and Stella, the damn bloodhound that she is, catches it instantly. “I knew it! You guys got it on the way before she got here. Admit it!”
“It’s different with us,” I try to explain.
“How? How is it different?” But my face must say it all because every taunt she was ready to hurdle at me leaves her all at once.
“Because you were in love with her,” she says softly, almost apologetically. “Oh, my God… you loved her.”
“Loved? Love? Are the two even exclusive? But hey, who needs love when power and loyalty do just fine?” I reply self-deprecatingly.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” she murmurs, looking sad for me. “I thought you two were just hooking up.”
“Emphasis on the were —past tense,” I confess as I lean against the wall, sliding down to sit on the floor.
“Does she know how you feel?” Stella asks after a pregnant pause, taking a seat beside me.
Distraught with her question, I run my fingers through my hair before shaking my head reluctantly.
“She used to. Or at least I thought she did. But now… I don’t know anymore. Nothing I say or do seems to get through to her. It’s only making things worse. I fucked up, Stella. I fucked up really fucking bad. And she’ll never forgive me for it.”
“Did you apologize? Did you say the words ‘I’m sorry’ before you told her you want her back into your life?”
“The engagement ring on her finger kind of defeats the purpose of me confessing my undying love for her now.” I exhale heavily.
She leans her head against my arm, her green eyes filled with empathy and sympathy—two traits Stella doesn’t like to show the world.
“I’m sorry I teased you before.”
“It’s okay.” I shrug.
“No, it’s not. I thought you two were just having some harmless fun. I had no idea that you felt this deeply for her.” She sighs. “Does she love you back?”
“No… Yes… I don’t know. I really don’t fucking know,” I mumble, depressed.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It is what it is.”
“Is there anything I can do?” she offers, concerned.
I playfully tap her jaw lightly with my fist to get that worried frown off her face. “Nah, I’m good.”
“No, you’re not.” Her voice is soft… troubled. “You haven’t been good for a while now.”
I raise a brow. “And what makes you say that?”
“You’ve been different since you returned home from college. I thought it was the job. That you were just more serious now that you were a made man. But that wasn’t it. It was all because you missed Mina. I get it now. No one can be happy when they miss their better part. And with Mina here… it makes sense why you’ve been even more morose lately.”
“Morose. Big word,” I tease, wanting to lighten the heavy mood her intuitive words created.
“Annamaria’s making me memorize the ‘word of the day’ calendar, thinking it might help me with my SATs in the spring.” She smiles almost sheepishly.
“Of course she is,” I chuckle halfheartedly.
Stella then studies me for a long moment before saying, “Don’t shut me out, Jude. I know you say you’re fine, but you don’t have to put on a brave face for my benefit. If you’re hurting, then let me hurt with you.”
“We Romanos aren’t exactly known for being the touchy-feely type. Talking about feelings doesn’t come naturally to us. We’re all about bottling things up until the point of eruption. You know that.”
“That’s not true. Mom doesn’t hide her feelings,” she points out. “Neither does Anna.”
And just like that, my heart aches all over again.
She’s right.
Neither my mom nor my baby sister shy away from showing their emotions, especially when it comes to the people they love. Mom expresses it through her fierce protectiveness, while Annamaria does it with her boundless, selfless heart. They wear their love like armor, unshaken and unapologetic. And in a world that often mistakes kindness for weakness, that just might make them the strongest of us all.
I’m about to agree with Stella when we hear footsteps approaching.
“There you are,” Dom announces the moment he spots us sitting in the middle of the hallway. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you two.”
I shoot to my feet, every muscle tensing at the grim look on his face.
“What’s wrong?”
“Your father wants to see you. Both of you.” His gaze lands squarely on Stella as he adds that last part.
“What did I do now?” she groans, pushing herself up from the floor.
Dom crosses his tattooed arms, leveling her with a scrutinizing stare. “I don’t know, Stella. You tell me.”
“How am I supposed to know?” She throws her arms up. “I get blamed for everything in this house.”
Dom’s expression softens slightly for a second, as he always does when one of us looks hurt. But he shakes it off just as fast, remembering why he came to get us in the first place.
“Follow me. Your father is waiting in his study.”
As we trail behind Dom, I lag just enough to lean toward Stella. “What did you do?”
“Your guess is as good as mine, big brother,” she whispers back. “I’ve been busy.”
Fuck my life.
I don’t dare press her for details. I’ve known Stella long enough to understand that asking questions only leads to trouble. The real mystery is how I got dragged into whatever drama she’s caused.
However, when we step inside the study, it becomes immediately clear that this isn’t about Stella’s usual brand of chaos. This looks like a syndicate business, which raises the question of why Dom insisted on Stella’s presence.
I’m unable to give that question much thought since my gaze is immediately pulled to Mina. She’s standing in the far right corner of the room, her expression schooled into perfect neutrality. However, I can tell by the slight narrowing of her eyes that she would prefer to be anywhere but here.
My father, of course, is sitting behind his desk, unreadable as ever, while both Gio and my mother sit on a nearby couch, my mother’s lips pressed into a thin, unyielding line.
Unlike Stella and I, she knows exactly what’s coming.
The tension thickens in the room as Dom shuts the door behind us and locks it.
Our father remains seated with Marcello flanking his left, just like at yesterday’s meeting.
Now that my father has a captive audience, he stands up, spreading his palms wide on the top of his desk.
“I’ve given our recent dilemma a lot of thought, and I’ve finally found a solution that will cut off at the root of our problem,” he says evenly.
My chest instantly tightens since nothing good could ever start with such a sentence.
“As you all know, my intention was for Marcello to be inducted into the Outfit and take the omertà at the end of the month. However, I’ve changed my mind. The ceremony will now take place this Sunday after Mass.”
Tense silence falls on the room, but I don’t miss how Marcello doesn’t so much as flinch as if he had already been made privy of the news.
I glance around the room, waiting for someone else to question my father’s sudden need to hurry his induction when he dragged his feet with mine.
When no one does, I step forward. “Why the rush?”
The corner of my father’s lips curls into something that isn’t quite a smile but dangerously close to the ghost of one.
“Because I’ve decided to call the heads of all the Outfit’s prominent families as well as our allies to attend the ceremony. Lady Crane has already agreed to delay her departure to attend the event, while Gio has made similar arrangements with the French-Canadian and Irish mobs. And just before you walked in, I personally extended the invite to the Donatos, which they have accepted graciously in turn.”
And there it is. The true reason behind his haste to induct Marcello into the syndicate.
My father then sits in his chair, leans back, and throws his sights on Mina with an amused grin now fully formed on his lips.
“How did you put it, Lady Crane? ‘If you want to catch a rat, let it think it owns the walls?’ Well then… let the hunt begin.”