Chapter Twelve Alexandra
Sunlight streamed across the bed, warming me from beneath the sheets.
The moment my eyelids fluttered open, panic set in.
Where was I? My eyes frantically spun around the room.
And then it all came rushing back to me along with the feeling of a brass band pounding out a rhythm in my aching head.
I groaned as the memories of getting drunk off my ass and begging Deacon to stay with me flooded my mind.
It also didn’t escape me that I was in just my bra and panties.
Of course, I was glad to remember that it had been me that took my clothes off and not Deacon.
Holy shit, I’d slept with Deacon.
Glancing over, I found the bed empty. For some reason, it bothered me more than it should have. Rolling over, I felt the indention Deacon had made in the bed. I guess he really had just stayed until I’d fallen asleep.
When I thought of what he told me, I flopped onto my back and rubbed my head. I’d never imagined he would ever be so open and honest with me. Even though he did it kicking and screaming, it meant so much to me.
I don’t know what it was within me that needed him to entrust something so dark with me.
Even though he wouldn’t acknowledge it, I could see him so much better than he could have ever imagined.
He had locked himself down so tight emotionally that the only way he could fully accept and love Willow would be to let go of the ghosts of the past and the pain they still inflicted on him.
While I should have been horrified that he had murdered his father, I wasn’t.
After the lifetime of hell he had faced, coupled with his mother’s death, he had been justified in doing what he did.
I didn’t know what it said about me as a person that I could overlook something so terrible in his past.
A knock came at the door. “Yes?” I called, pulling the covers up to my neck.
Deacon appeared with a cup of coffee and something wrapped in a napkin. “Mama Liz sent this to you.”
Sitting up in the bed, I reached for the goodies. After sitting the coffee down on the nightstand, I unwrapped the napkin. “Oh, a homemade biscuit. I haven’t had one of these in years.”
My heartbeat thrummed wildly at the genuine smile that stretched across his face. I so rarely got to see that type of smile—one that didn’t hide sarcasm or a teasing remark. “She thought you might like it.”
“I hope she didn’t go to all this trouble just for me.”
“Nah, she makes a big breakfast for us every morning.”
“Where’s Willow?” I asked, after taking a sip of scorching hot coffee.
“Back at the house. I didn’t think it would be a good idea to let her know you were here.”
I nodded as I chewed carefully on the biscuit, not wanting to overload my alcohol soaked stomach. “She’d ask too many questions.”
“Yeah.” He cocked his brows at me. “Kinda like her teacher.”
A nervous laugh bubbled from my lips. “Yeah, I suppose so.”
Neither one of us appeared to be able to mention what had happened last night. Deacon cleared his throat. “Just so you know, your car is outside.”
“It is?”
Deacon nodded. “New alternator was all it needed.”
“How much do I owe you?”
“Nothing.”
I shook my head. “I can’t let you do that.”
“You do enough for us. Well, for Willow.”
“I really wish you wouldn’t do that, but thank you. I really appreciate it.”
“Keys are in the ignition. I know you gotta get to work.”
Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, I saw it was six thirty. “Shit. I do.” Just when I thought of flinging the cover back and hopping out of bed, I realized I was half-naked.
As if he sensed my panic, Deacon started for the door. “Yeah, so, I’ll see you this afternoon.”
“Yes. And thanks again for my car.”
“You’re welcome.” He opened the door and then closed it again. Glancing at me over his shoulder, he said, “I trust that what was said in here last night will stay just between the two of us?”
“Of course.”
“Good,” he murmured. Then he slipped out the door without a good-bye.
There wasn’t a chance I would ever share with anyone what Deacon had told me last night.
We had both been extremely vulnerable in revealing the wounds of our past. Considering the shame and immense sadness I still carried with me about my own dark period in my life, I could never betray his trust, just as I wouldn’t want him to betray mine.
In the end, it was a relief for me to unburden myself. For reasons I didn’t understand, it made me no longer feel so alone.
That Sunday found me miles away from Deacon’s world.
A smile played at my lips when I thought of what Deacon would say about my surroundings.
He would classify me sitting in the driveway of the two-story, cookie-cutter, Colonial house on an upscale street as being in my White Bred world.
He was probably right considering it was worlds away from the Raiders’ compound.
Riding shotgun up front with me was my Black Lab, Atticus.
His wet nose nudged against my arm to hurry me along out of the car.
He appreciated Uncle Paul and Aunt Joy’s house as much as I did.
Part of the reason was he came from a litter that belonged to Mahalia, Uncle Paul’s prized bird dog.
I guess it was like coming back home for him just like it was for me.
As soon as I’d barely cracked open the door, Atticus bounded out, not even bothering to wait for me.
He was on the porch woofing excitedly by the time I got both myself, and the food I’d brought, out of the car.
As I made my way up the familiar porch steps, the front door opened, revealing the smiling face of my Uncle Paul.
“Well, hello, stranger! I’m glad you remembered where we lived,” he ribbed good-naturedly.
I grinned. “I’m sorry. Things have been really busy lately since I’m doing homebound services.”
Uncle Paul nodded before drawing me into his arms. I couldn’t help but thank God for him.
My dad’s siblings lived out of state, and my brother, Charlie, and I had never been close to them.
With both sets of our grandparents gone, we could have been sent to one of them if it hadn’t been for Uncle Paul.
When I pulled away to smile up at him, I could see so much of my mother in his face.
They had the same dark, wavy hair, although Uncle Paul’s had far more grey than my mom’s had had.
Their blue eyes always seemed to have a warm twinkle in them that immediately set you at ease and made you feel loved.
Both had been tall, but where my mother was lean, Uncle Paul had his “law enforcement induced donut gut”, as he liked to joke.
“Come on, let’s get inside,” he said, holding open the door.
“Is Lydia here?” I asked.
“No, she’s on some dig in New Mexico.”
Uncle Paul’s only child, Lydia, was an anthropologist. Fifteen years ago, she had left home, and Georgia, at eighteen and barely looked back. She now tried to make it back to Georgia at least once a month since she had two sons of her own, whom Uncle Paul and Aunt Joy adored.
After I headed into the foyer, Uncle Paul took the bags of food out of my hands.
As I started to go to the kitchen, a voice from the living room called out to me.
“Yo, Al, come get this wild animal off me!” Charlie yelled.
I grinned knowing that was his way of getting me to come see him.
All these years later, he still wasn’t good at expressing his emotions.
I entered the living room to find Atticus sprawled out on the couch beside Charlie. Instead of being truly aggravated by Atticus, Charlie was giving him a rub-down, which caused Atticus to groan in ecstasy. “Hey, little brother, it’s good to see you,” I said, as I flopped down on his other side.
He grinned, which caused two dimples to pop out on his cheeks. It made him adorable to me, but I’m sure they caused girls his age to swoon. “It’s good to see you, too.”
“How’s school?”
Cocking his head at me, Charlie replied, “You mean am I studying and going to class or partying too much?”
I nudged him playfully. “I wouldn’t be your overbearing big sister if I didn’t ask.”
“True, very true.” When he still remained evasive, I cleared my throat to prompt him. He held up his hands. “Fine. I’ve got solid B’s at the moment.”
“Oh, Charlie, that’s wonderful. I’m so proud,” I replied, before throwing my arms around his neck.
“It could all get shot to hell before the end of the semester,” he teased.
“Not on your life mister.” I pulled back to give him the same stern look I gave my students. “Don’t make me come to Athens and follow you around.”
He snorted. “Look, I know you don’t have a life, but even I can’t imagine you doing that.”
“I do have a life,” I countered.
“Your group of girlfriends who do monthly margarita nights counts as a life?”
“We go out more than that,” I lied.
“Right.”
“Besides, I’m very busy right now with teaching. I’m even doing homebound services.”
“Yeah, Uncle Paul told me.”
My brows rose up in surprise. “He did?”
Charlie nodded. “Said he was worried about you.”
I swallowed hard. “Why?” I asked, although I already knew the answer.
“‘Cause of where you’re teaching.” With a wry smile, Charlie added, “Who would have thought my good girl big sister would be hanging out with a bunch of dirty and dangerous bikers?”
Rolling my eyes, I replied, “They’re not like that.”
“Are you sure about that? From what Uncle Paul said, the Raiders have been known to have their hands in all kinds of dirty dealings like gambling and gun running.”
I shrugged. “It’s just a rumor. None of them have done time for anything.” I knew that was a partial lie considering Deacon’s father had been in prison before he started the Raiders.
Charlie’s teasing expression turned serious. “Promise me you’ll be careful.”
“Is that actual concern for me, little brother?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, it is.”
Patting his leg, I replied, “You don’t need to worry. I’m fine. I promise.”
Although he nodded his head, I could tell he wasn’t convinced. But before he had the chance to press me for more details about the Raiders, Aunt Joy appeared in the doorway and beckoned us to come and eat.
Thankfully, neither Charlie nor Uncle Paul brought up the subject of the Raiders, and I was able to have a fun, carefree lunch with those I loved most in the world.