Chapter 25 #3
“But let’s be clear about one thing, Kill.
” Her voice drops into something cold and sharp.
“If she allows herself to love you back, and you take that love for granted… if you hurt her in any way… well. Let’s just say not even all the Bratva soldiers at your disposal would save you from my wrath. Is that understood?”
I smile, finally understanding where my Stella gets it from.
“If the day ever comes that I hurt your daughter, you won’t need to hunt me down. I’ll put the gun in your hand myself.”
“Good,” she coos, stepping back and glancing toward the crowded living room. “It’s almost time now,” Selene says, locking eyes with her husband. “Don’t go inside. Wait here. I’ve made arrangements for you.”
My brow wrinkles at the ominous remark, but I don’t dare move an inch.
“Selene,” I call out when she reaches the sliding glass door.
“Thank you.”
She gives me one last warm smile before slipping back into the crowd. I remain in the backyard as instructed, waiting, until none other than my Stella comes storming outside. She looks pissed. Enraged. And, God help me, she has never looked more beautiful.
“Come here,” she snaps, grabbing my arm and yanking me away from the windows where people can see us. Once we turn a corner, she shoves me against the wall.
“What the hell were you thinking, crashing my induction?”
“I wasn’t thinking. Clearly.”
She lets out a frustrated huff.
“What am I supposed to do with you? My dad is asking all sorts of questions.”
“Tell him the truth.”
Her eyes narrow. “And what truth is that?”
“That you love me. And I love you.” I thread my hand under her hair and press my palm against her cheek, forcing her to look at me.
“That even if it doesn’t make sense on paper, we make sense.
That living without you these last few months has been torture.
That I couldn’t go another day without seeing you—without touching you.
” My voice lowers. “Tell him you’re mine.
And I’ll tell him I’m yours. That I will forever be yours. ”
“Stop it, Kill,” she whispers, unable to meet my eyes. “I can’t be thinking about you today. Not today.”
“Would you rather I hadn’t come?”
She locks her gaze on mine, and I see all the pain she’s endured without me shimmering in those emerald jewels. “No. I’m glad you’re here.”
“Good,” I murmur, relief hitting me like a freight train. I draw her in until her head rests against my chest. Her scent—black cherry perfume and night-blooming jasmine—wraps around me as surely as my arms wrap around her. For the first time in ages, I feel like home isn’t lost to me.
“I fucking missed you.”
“I miss you too,” she says quietly, holding onto me just as tightly.
I brush her hair back, tipping her face up so I can see her eyes.
“You did?”
She sighs softly. “Of course I did. I’m not some unfeeling monster, you know. But that doesn’t change anything.”
“It changes everything, dusha moya. It fucking changes everything!”
Her green eyes sadden as she presses a hand to my chest, gently pulling herself out of my arms.
“Not for me, Kill. It doesn’t change anything for me.”
She tries to walk away, but I grab her by the waist and pull her back to me.
“You want me to leave you alone? You want me to forget you? Is that what you want?”
“It’s what I need,” she says quietly.
“Then make me believe you don’t give a shit. Make me believe it was never in the cards for us. Make me hate you, Stella, because anything less won’t cut it.”
Her eyes glisten as she softens against me, her resolve melting.
“It would be so much easier if hate was all there was between us,” she whispers, her gaze dropping to my mouth.
“Easier, yes. But who wants easy? Not us.”
She traces her fingers along the seam of my lower lip, and my heart slams against my ribs at her touch. Before she can say anything that will shatter the moment, I lean in and capture her mouth with mine.
Our kiss is desperate. It’s the kind shared by two people who love each other so fiercely it hurts, clinging like drowning souls who know they can’t stay afloat together but can’t bear to let go.
Her lips tremble beneath mine, her breath hitching as she kisses me back with all the longing she keeps trying to bury.
It’s messy, raw, the kind of kiss that tastes like heartbreak and hope tangled together.
“Stop,” she breathes, her forehead resting under my chin, her palms flat against my chest. “Just stop, Kill. Stop and let me go.”
“Never.”
“I can’t…I can’t do this today,” she says on a broken whisper, pushing herself forcefully out of my arms and running back toward the house.
I slide down the wall and sit there, wondering how the hell I’m supposed to convince her that loving her isn’t a choice for me. That her loving me isn’t a choice either. It’s in our bones now, written into our very DNA. Nothing else will ever compare.
I don’t know how long I sit there, but when I hear my name being called in a soft, willow-thin voice, I spring to my feet.
“Mr. Petrov? Mr. Petrov?” The small voice drifts again. “Kill… are you there? Kill? It’s me…Anna.”
I turn the corner and find young Annamaria searching the backyard for me. “Looking for something?”
“Oh, there you are!” she says with audible relief. “Come. We’ll be late.” She extends her hand to me like a peace offering, glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one sees us.
I take her hand and she instantly sprints into a dash toward the woods in front of the mansion.
“Where are we going?” I ask, confused.
“Shh! You need to be quiet. I don’t want anyone to know we’re here.”
My brows pull together, but I follow her lead and lower my voice. “Will you at least tell me where you’re taking me? I’m not entirely comfortable running into the woods with a teenage girl.”
“Well, that makes two of us,” she snaps then winces. “I’m sorry. That came out meaner than I intended. But I promised my mom I’d take you to Stella, so that’s what I’m doing.”
“Stella?” My eyes widen, instantly alert.
“Yes, shh,” she whispers urgently. “We can’t make a sound. If they find us, they’ll kill us. Well… not me. But you? For sure.” She grimaces at the thought.
We keep running for what feels like forever, and then it hits me where Annamaria is taking me—to witness Stella’s induction. My feet immediately run faster.
“Shh,” she whispers, pulling me behind a tree before pointing toward her twin brothers, who are currently hiding behind a large boulder.
“There,” she mouths, and I nod, taking in her silent instructions.
She counts to three, and then we’re sprinting toward the boulder and crouching down beside her brothers, who, by the look on their faces, are just as surprised as I am to see me here.
“What is this asshole doing here?” Lucky snaps.
“This asshole is your girlfriend’s uncle. Have some manners,” Annamaria scolds, and to my shock, young Luciano actually blushes.
“I like your sister. She’s got spirit,” I say, nudging Annamaria’s shoulder playfully.
“Well, you already corrupted one of my sisters. Don’t think I’m letting you take another,” Lucky grumbles, grabbing Annamaria and pulling her to his side.
“Don’t worry about him. He’s never liked to share,” Enzo mutters, dropping down on my left.
“I can see that. Very territorial, isn’t he?” I smirk. “Speaking of which…aren’t you supposed to be with my niece?”
Lucky scoffs.
“Yeah, like I’d ever bring Frankie here. She already has enough on her plate worrying about your sorry ass moping because my sister kicked you to the curb. I don’t need to add more anxiety to her life, thank you very much. I’m not a shitty boyfriend like you.”
Before I have time to put Lucky in his place, Annamaria swats him across the head.
“Manners!”
“The fuck? You’re hitting me now?” Lucky complains, rubbing the back of his head while Enzo chuckles beside me.
“Well, when you start acting like a jackass, I have to do something about it.”
“Hitting and cursing? Anna, you sweet angel…but today you’re on fire.” Enzo grins proudly.
“Oh, don’t encourage her. She gets enough of that from Stella,” Lucky mutters, still pissed.
“I don’t take pleasure in hitting you or scolding you, Lucky, but Kirill is as much part of the family as Frankie, Izzie, and Mina are. Stella loves him. So behave.”
“He is not family,” Lucky grits out.
“Yet, young Romano,” I remind him, just as I reminded Marcello earlier. “I’m not family… yet.”
But I’m glad to see that while the men in this family haven’t warmed up to me, the Romano women have. And something tells me that’s all I need for the rest to eventually fall in line.
What also warms my heart is that Stella’s whole family has somehow come to terms with the fact that she and I are in love.
Did she talk to them? Did she just come out and tell her whole family that we were together?
But if that’s true, then why keep pushing me away?
Why is she so set on both of us being so fucking miserable apart?
“Shhh, it’s starting,” Enzo whispers, pulling all our attention toward the large circle of men just a few yards ahead, and a small log cabin in front of them.
Giovanni is the first to emerge from the cabin hidden in the woods, followed by Jude and Marcello.
I don’t miss Mina and the Crane twins hovering at the edges of the large Capo circle, but what does surprise me is who steps out of the cabin next.
After his enforcer, Dominic, Selene walks out of the cabin arm in arm with her husband.
A few whispers ripple through the crowd, obviously not prepared to see their Red Queen in attendance but one look from Vincent silences every single one of them.
And just as the couple takes their place front and center on the small porch, Stella steps out, dressed in all black, looking like the vengeful goddess she was always destined to be.
“It’s okay… it’s okay,” I hear Lucky whisper softly.
It pulls my gaze away from Stella and onto him, his arm around Annamaria’s shoulders as he rubs her back soothingly while silent tears track down her cheeks.
Selene fought for this day never to come.
But judging by Anna’s tears, she feared it just as much.
I don’t have time to offer any words of consolation, because this is the moment Giovanni begins the Outfit’s sacred ceremony.
“Stella Sofia Romano, you are here today to be baptized into your new family, under God, and in the presence of your new brothers. You have been found worthy of joining this family, as all men present can attest to how our syndicate’s values already course through you.
Today, you will vow and give your oath to us that you will maintain and uphold all syndicate rules, as long as there is breath in you and blood running through your veins. ”
On bated breath, I watch Giovanni walk to a nearby table and pick up a blade before walking back to Stella. My jaw ticks when he slices through Stella’s palm, but I force myself to stay still when she curls her bleeding fist and lets it drip onto the image of a holy saint.
“Repeat after me,” Giovanni continues, “The spilling of this blood means we are now one famiglia. I live by the gun and the knife, and I die by the gun and the knife. This drop of blood symbolizes my birth into our family and the knowledge that we are one until death.”
My heart swells with pride as Stella utters those same words, staring smugly at the Capos who are bearing witness to her victory over them.
When she’s done, Giovanni raises a card in the air and says, “This is Saint Jude, the patron saint of lost souls. As a member of this family, in this life and beyond, your soul is ours and therefore never lost.”
Giovanni proceeds to retrieve a lighter out of his pocket, burning the card from its edge, and then hands it over to the nearest capo, that being her brother, Marcello.
Stella looks at him for a split second, gratitude flickering in her eyes. Then her gaze hardens as she turns back to the circle and gives her oath.
“As this saint burns, so will burn my soul. I enter alive with a pure heart and I will leave only once I’m dead.
I will hold the rules of the Outfit above all man made.
In my heart, first comes my syndicate brothers, followed by God, family, and then all else.
I will care for my brothers as I will care for their families should any depart honorably.
I will show no mercy to my enemies or traitors.
I will lay no hand on a brother’s wife, sister, or woman.
” The teasing little smirk she gives the other Capos when she says that last part almost floors me.
“She could have left that out.” Lucky huffs, but there is a hit of pride in his voice.
“No, she couldn’t have. She’s proving a point. That this syndicate is archaic and with her induction, old ways will have to change for the new blood that’s about to take over,” Annamaria whispers, her eyes locked on her sister’s grand accomplishment.
I don’t miss the curious glances Enzo and Lucky throw at each other, impressed that their baby sister is more mafia savvy than they gave her credit for.
But I quickly focus my attention on Stella, needing to see her come into her power all on her own.
“I will prefer death to snitch upon any of my new-forged kin. And let it be said that I, Stella Sofia Romano, lived and died a loyal and honorable made woman till my very end.”
And as she says those last words—with utter conviction, like this is the moment she has lived her whole life to accomplish—my heart begins to wither in my chest.
The flaming saint card finds its way back to Stella, and with a smug smile on her lips, she holds her bleeding hand over it. Droplets of blood fall into the flames before she chucks the card to the ground and crushes the remains beneath the razor-sharp heels she loves so much.
And as the love of my life basks in her triumph, my heart begins to wilt and die.
This… this is what she loves.
I will never be able to compete with the Outfit.
And I was a fool to ever think I could.
Here I am, watching her take her crown, and every part of me burns with pain.
Her mother told me not to lose hope. Told me to fight. Told me to fight for us.
But there is no us.
Not really.
Loving me puts fear in her heart.
And for her to be fearless… she has to close that heart off from everyone around her.
She tried to tell me.
She tried to warn me.
This is the woman she was always destined to become.
If I truly loved her, I would let her go.
I wouldn’t stand in her way.
I wouldn’t be the thing that held her back.
If I love her the way I claim I do, I’d let her fly.
And God, how I hate the fact that my love is that fucking selfless.
Selfless enough to grant her every heart’s desire…no matter how vicious it feels to me.