Chapter 23 Elio #2
After a while, her sobs quiet to hiccups. She pulls back just enough to look up at me, her eyes red and swollen, her face blotchy from crying. And yet, somehow, she's still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
"I hate this," she whispers. "I hate that we can't just be together. I hate that we have to hide and lie and pretend. I hate that Desmond is out there somewhere, and I hate that Ronan doesn't know the truth. I hate all of it."
"I know, cuore mio." I press my lips to her temple. "I hate it too."
She's quiet for a moment, her fingers curling into my shirt. Then, so softly I almost don't hear it: "How much time do we have?"
I know what she's asking. How much time before Desmond is found, before this is over, before we have to end this and go back to being nothing to each other.
“I have to find him as soon as I can,” I say quietly. “So that you’re safe, so Ronan’s torment ends, so you can go home. If I can find him tomorrow, I will. This has to be over soon, Annie.”
"Then I want to make the most of it." She looks up at me, her eyes still glimmering with tears. "If this is all we get, if this is temporary, then I want every moment we can have.”
My heart is pounding, desire and dread warring in my chest. I know what she's offering. I know what she wants. And God help me, I want it too. Want her with an intensity that borders on madness.
But it's a terrible idea. The more we give in to this, the harder it's going to be to walk away. The more memories we make, the more it's going to hurt when it's over.
"Annie—"
"Please." She climbs into my lap, straddling me, her hands coming up to frame my face. "Don't tell me no. Don't tell me we shouldn't. I know all the reasons why this is a bad idea. I know it's going to hurt when it's over. But I'd rather have this, have you, even for a little while.”
Her words echo my own thoughts from days ago, and I feel my resolve crumbling. She's right. We're already in too deep. The damage is already done. What difference does it make if we take what we can while we have the chance?
"You're going to regret this," I say, but my hands are already moving to her hips, holding her against me.
"Maybe." She leans in, her lips brushing mine. "But I'll regret not doing it more."
And then she's kissing me, and I'm lost. I kiss her back with everything I have, pouring all the love and longing and desperation I feel into it. My hands slide under her shirt, finding the warm skin of her back, and she gasps against my mouth.
I pull her to me, kissing her again as my hands reach for the hem of her shirt. She helps me pull it over her head, and then her hands are on my shirt, fumbling with the buttons.
"You're so beautiful," I murmur, tracing the line of her jaw with my fingers. "So fucking beautiful, Annie."
She reaches up, pulling me down for another kiss. "I want more,” she whispers. “I want all of it.”
I give her everything I can. I kiss my way down her neck, her collarbone, the swell of her breasts. I want to memorize this, want to burn it into my memory so that when this is over, I'll have something to hold onto.
Her hands are in my hair, tugging, urging me on. I reach behind her to unhook her bra, tossing it aside, and then my mouth is on her breast, my tongue circling her nipple. She arches into me with a cry, and the sound goes straight to my cock.
I’m so fucking hard. I want to be inside of her more than I want to breathe. But I force myself to go slow. Force myself to—
My phone buzzes on the coffee table. I glance at it, and it’s Diego. For a moment, I force myself to ignore it. I don’t want to stop. I’m so hard, aching for her. I can’t stop, can’t—
It goes off again. I groan, reaching for it, and I gently slide Annie off of my lap as I answer it.
“Yeah?”
“Boss. We might have something. A couple of our men spotted Desmond near the old Connelly estate, just outside of the city. We’re going to go check it out.”
My heart kicks into overdrive. Finally. Finally, we might have a lead.
And at the same time, I don’t want to go. This might have been it. The last moment I have with Annie alone, and we have to stop.
I start to button up my shirt, and Annie sits up, her expression startled. "What is it?"
"Diego thinks they might have found Desmond." I hand her her T-shirt reluctantly. "I need to go."
“Elio—”
“I have to go.” I lean down, gripping her chin gently as I kiss her. I love you. I want to say it, but I bite the words back. “I'll call you as soon as I know anything."
Her expression is pained, as if she’s thinking the same things I am. "Be careful," she says quietly. "Please."
I kiss her once more, hard and deep. "I will. I promise." My mind is already shifting, planning, thinking tactically as I reach for my weapon. If Desmond is at the Connelly estate, this could be our chance to end this. To finally make Annie safe.
To start the countdown to when I have to let her go.
I'm halfway to the front door when I hear it—the sharp crack of gunfire outside.
I freeze, my hand going to the gun holstered at my back. More shots, rapid-fire, coming from the woods. I hear shouts and the screech of tires.
Fuck.
I spin around to see Annie frozen, standing in front of the couch. "What's happening?" she gasps.
"Desmond must have found us." I grab her arm, pulling her toward the linen closet. "Get in here and don't come out until I come get you."
"I'm not hiding while you—"
"Do it!" I push her into the closet, my heart pounding. "Stay quiet, stay hidden. I'll come back for you, I promise."
I see the fear in her eyes, but she nods. I close the closet door and turn just as the living room window explodes in a shower of glass.