Chapter 8
Annamaria
Sixteen years old
Rafe: I’m in Chicago.
Rafe: I’ll be in the woods behind your house during your party.
Rafe: Meet me at sunset.
I’ve read Raffaele’s texts so many times I’ve committed them to memory.
When I woke up this morning, this was not how I expected the day to begin.
I thought Raffaele would send me a cute GIF or one of his stupidly funny memes to wish me a happy birthday, not get on a plane and fly all the way from New York just to see me.
I’d been a ball of nerves all day, which my family has thankfully dismissed as my usual anxiety over the lavish sweet sixteen my parents are throwing tonight. Everyone knows that crowds make me uncomfortable, so no one has questioned my jitters.
If I had it my way, I would have spent my birthday at home with my family, not at the old Salvatore mansion.
But a milestone like this couldn’t be avoided.
Not when your father is the Capo dei Capi of the Outfit.
His youngest daughter turning sixteen was always going to be a grand event, whether I wanted it or not.
The party fills the large living room with music echoing off the high ceilings as guests crowd together, drinks in hand. Conversations overlap, laughter rising and falling in waves, and no one pays attention to anything beyond the following greeting or toast.
“I drift toward the floor-to-ceiling sliding glass doors, keeping my movements casual as I slip between clusters of people. Beyond the glass, the backyard is washed in color, shades of pink, lavender, and orange bleeding across the sky.”
When I slide open one of the doors and step outside, the noise behind me instantly dulls.
The cold greets me right away, sharp enough to bite, a reminder that March still belongs to winter more than spring.
Patches of old snow linger along the edges of the yard, their surfaces dark and slick as the ice beneath them slowly melts.
I move carefully across the damp grass, my breath fogging in front of me as I pull my arms closer to my body. The sky deepens as the sun sinks lower, the colors growing richer by the second. The same colors that tell me what I already know. That it’s time. It’s time to see my friend.
However, as I stare at the woods behind the old Salvatore mansion, knowing that somewhere within them Raffaele is waiting for me, a sudden feeling of dread roots me to the spot.
Why won’t my feet move? Why am I hesitating? Raffaele’s my friend. My best friend. I should want to see him. It’s been three years since I last laid eyes on him. Surely seeing each other again should be cause for joy, not trepidation.
Yet fear still has its grip on me, holding me exactly where I stand. What if he sees me and I disappoint him somehow? What if he realizes he’s wasted three years on a friendship with a dud? Or worse, what if someone sees us?
If someone sees us, then he’s as good as dead.
Damn you, Rafe. What were you thinking?
“Anna?” I hear Marcelo’s girlfriend, Isobel, call out from behind me, snapping me from my spiraling thoughts.
“Izzie, hi,” I say, turning toward her, discreetly wiping the silent tears streaming down my face.
“Are you alright?” she asks, hurrying over to me.
“Yes, I’m fine.” I offer a meek smile.
“Are you sure? You don’t look like it.” She frowns, placing her hand on my back and rubbing it gently.
“It’s nothing really. I’m just… I don’t know. A little sad, I guess.”
Sad that I’m too much of a coward to do what I want. Sad that everyone has found their person, while I refuse to even go and see mine.
“Is it because it’s your birthday?” Isobel asks, mistaking the reason behind my sadness for something else. “Most girls would be excited about turning sixteen.”
“Is it only sixteen? I feel older than that.” Her frown deepens with my unsettling answer.
Damn it. Why did I have to go and say that for?
It’s not like Isobel knows how I’ve grown up.
I doubt Marcello has had the talk with her about our family’s business yet.
Not until he’s absolutely sure that she’s trustworthy.
As far as she’s aware, I’m just your everyday sixteen-year-old girl.
A girl who was raised with the kind of privilege only immense wealth provides. What baggage could I possibly have?
“I would have thought you’d be more excited,” she says, trying to cheer me up. “Most teenagers get cars at this age.”
“Not me. I get chauffeurs and bodyguards to drive me around,” I counter sullenly.
Damn it. There I go again being too damn transparent and truthful with my answers. But I can’t help it. All my nerves are shot. My usual composure weakened. All because of Raffaele and his unexpected visit.
“Yes, I heard that your parents are a little overprotective,” Isobel replies with a compassionate smile.
“That’s a generous way of saying it,” I sigh. “But I’m used to it. Besides, that’s not the reason why I’m a bit… off today.”
“What is it then? Why are you sad, Anna? Is it because of the party? Did your parents not let you invite your friends from school?”
What friends from school? I don’t even have bullies anymore.
After Stella and Marcello dealt with Alec and Tim last year, the rumor mill at Sacred Heart ran wild.
People started saying my family must have killed them just for looking at me.
Even Blaire’s clique—the ones who used to invent new ways to torture me—stay far away now, afraid they’ll be next on my family’s kill list.
No.
The only friend I have is somewhere in those woods waiting for me. Raffaele risked his life to come see me on my birthday, and here I am, going over all the reasons why I shouldn’t go to him.
My gaze drifts back to the woods, their darkening edge pulling at me more than Isobel’s attempt at conversation ever could.
“I don’t have any friends,” I say at last. “And the one I do have wouldn’t be welcomed in my home. Not anymore.”
But he’s here. Raffaele is here now. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t go to him? A crappy one, that’s what kind. One that doesn’t deserve such a good friend in her life.
“Can I ask you a favor, Izzie?” I ask, before she has time to process what I just admitted to. “Would you mind covering for me for just a little bit? I think I’d like to take a walk to clear my head,” I lie while gesturing toward the woods with my chin.
“I don’t know, Anna. It’s going to get dark pretty soon. I wouldn’t want you to get lost in the woods in the dark.”
“Don’t worry. I know these woods like the back of my hand. I won’t get lost,” I lie again, though this time my voice wavers just slightly.
It’s true that I’ve spent enough time playing in these woods as a child to know every inch of them by heart. But that was always during the day, with the sun overhead and the twins or Stella at my side. I’m not entirely confident I’ll find my way as easily in the dark.
It doesn’t matter. I’ve made up my mind.
If Raffaele managed to find a way to see me, against all odds, then I’ll manage to find my way back home afterward.
When I see Isobel’s unconvinced expression, I glance back toward the mansion. Muffled laughter and music drift through the closed window doors as the guests continue enjoying themselves. I gesture toward the house as I make my final point.
“Besides,” I say quietly, “everyone seems to be having a great time. No one will miss me.”
“That’s not true. Marcello is searching the house as we speak, looking for you.”
“Of course he is.” My shoulders slump despite myself.
I should have expected it. Ever since what I now have coined as the event, my siblings have been more hyperaware of my comings and goings. I can never fully disappear, not even for a moment. Not without one of them noticing.
“Marcello is excited about giving you his present,” she quickly adds, as if that might lighten my spirits. “I don’t want to spoil the surprise, but I think you’ll like it. No, I’m positive you’ll love it.”
“I’m sure I will,” I reply, though the words feel hollow even to my own ears.
Isobel exhales sharply, her jaw tightening as she looks at me.
“How well do you know these woods again?”
“So well, Izzie.” I smile, the first genuine one I’ve felt like sporting all evening. “I promise I won’t take long. Consider it your birthday present to me. Please.”
“Hmm,” she murmurs, glancing toward the woods and then back at me. “Promise me you’ll be safe?”
“Promise,” I say, the word coming easier than anything else has tonight.
“Okay then. I’ll keep your brother busy for half an hour.” Relief rushes through me.
“Thank you, Izzie.” I step forward and wrap my arms around her.
“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” she replies, returning the embrace.
I hold on to her a second longer, lowering my voice.
“Also, thank you for giving Marcello a chance. My brother deserves someone who sees how wonderful he truly is. I’m so thankful he found you.
” She doesn’t say anything right away, but when I pull back, her expression has softened.
“Marcello doesn’t think he is, but he is a good man—the best man I know.
Make him happy, Izzie. Help him find his way. He’s been lost for long enough.”
With that, I turn away before emotion can betray me and set my sights on the woods. I don’t look back as I walk toward them. If I do, I know I’ll lose my nerve.
I take a deep breath and step into the woods, silently hoping the sun will linger in the sky just a little longer before it finally gives way to night.
I don’t think I’ll get lost—not truly—but if my family discovers I left the mansion just to wander into the woods alone, they’ll worry. They always do. As if I’m something fragile, like glass, liable to shatter if the world presses too hard.
I hate that they see me this way. Weak. Breakable. But most of all, I hate that sometimes I see myself in that light too. The only one who doesn’t see me like that is Raffaele. To him, I’m not delicate or in need of saving. I’m just a girl. A normal teenage girl. And he’s my friend.