Chapter 28 #2
That’s the thing about heartbreak. You know you’ve been wronged, betrayed, and humiliated, yet your heart still can’t stop loving the one who broke it.
That’s why it hurts so much. Because all that love inside you has nowhere to go now.
So it beats… and beats… bruising the walls of your heart with every strike, needing to be let out.
But since the person it was meant for no longer wants it, no longer deserves it, you trap all that love inside, even as it fights to be set free. As it fights you.
My turbulent thoughts are interrupted by the swing of my bedroom door.
“God, haven’t you had enough for one night?” I mumble, already knowing who’s entered the room.
I don’t need to open my eyes to know it’s Matteo. And it’s not because his rich, earthy cologne follows him everywhere he goes, or because my ears have already memorized the sound of his sure footsteps. No. It’s the way my body always goes on high alert the moment he’s within reach.
“I brought you these,” he says ever so softly.
My eyelids flutter open as I turn my head in his direction, only to find a stack of first-edition books now stacked neatly on the dresser.
“Can a capo be killed with a million papercuts? Shall I use the pages in those books and find out?”
“You could try,” he says with a smile, shoving his hands into his pockets.
God, I hate his smile. It makes him look softer. Kinder. But it’s just another one of his lies. Another useful tool he likes to pull out of his manipulation toolkit.
As he stands there, studying every inch of my face, I turn my gaze to the ceiling, depriving him of his favorite pastime.
“If you’re waiting for a thank you, then this will be a long night.” I sigh.
I still feel him studying me when he says, “I’m about to meet your father. Do you even know which one I’m talking about?” I don’t respond. “No matter,” he continues. “All three will be in attendance. I assume Marcello, too. Maybe even Jude. Possibly Stella.”
A flicker of fear rises in my chest at the thought of them being anywhere near Matteo. He may pretend to be something he’s not with me, but I doubt he’ll extend them the same courtesy. Matteo won’t be kind or gentle. He’ll be a Cosa Nostra capo. A nightmare incarnate.
Just the thought of my fathers and siblings being in danger has me pushing off the bed and standing straight to face my captor.
“Why are you telling me this?” I ask outright.
“Would you prefer I kept you clueless?” I shake my head.
No. I’ve been clueless for long enough.
“That’s what I thought,” he says, taking a step closer to me.
“Why are you meeting them?”
“To set my terms, why else?” he says, taking another step closer. “You look worried.”
“Wouldn’t you be?” I spit out.
Matteo shrugs unapologetically as he eats the remaining distance between us. When he gently hooks a finger under my chin and tilts my face up to his, it takes everything not to flinch away. It takes even more not to melt into him.
“What if I told you that you alone had the power to dictate the outcome of my conversation with your family tonight?”
“I don’t understand. How?”
He smiles at me, though I see a flicker of insecurity behind his eyes. It’s quick and fleeting, but I see it just the same.
“How, Matteo?” I repeat when he refuses to give me an answer.
“I can ensure no harm ever comes to them. I can make sure that whoever shows up for tonight’s meeting leaves unharmed. I won’t lay a single hand on them.”
“You would do that? For me?” He nods, and as much as I search his eyes for a lie, I don’t find one.
Not a single trace. “Why would you do that? Wasn’t the whole point of kidnapping me to pick a fight with my father?
To start a war?” When he doesn’t respond, misery lingering in his dark eyes, another possibility forms in my mind.
“Or was this just about getting back at my family? To get even with the Outfit… because of what happened to your brother?”
“They killed my brother. I took their daughter. We’re nowhere near even.”
The cold way in which he says those words makes me miss the kinder side he puts on display for me.
“Don’t hurt them, Matteo. Please,” I beg, placing my palms on his chest.
To my surprise, that single touch snaps him out of whatever furious daze he was just in.
“I don’t have to hurt them. Not tonight or any other night. Not if it will bring you pain.”
“Does that mean you won’t kill them?” I ask suspiciously. “Ever?”
“It’s like I said. You hold all the power here. You, and only you, can stop this war from even happening.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I am a man of my word. The Outfit can keep its empire. All I want is New York.”
So that’s what he wants. He wants to use me as a bargaining chip to force my father to leave his beloved city alone.
I’m not sure Matteo gave much thought to his plan, though. Even if my father agrees to his terms and returns New York to the Cosa Nostra, Matteo and everyone else involved in my kidnapping will still need to be brought to justice.
As Capo dei Capi of the Outfit, he would have no choice but to demand his pound of flesh.
As my father… he’d personally see to it that Matteo and Raffaele died by his hand.
Matteo’s plan of restoring the Cosa Nostra to its former glory has more holes than a bullet-riddled body after a mob hit. Much like his will look like after my fathers and siblings are done with him.
Still, Matteo is not my concern here. My family is.
“What will I have to do? What can I do to make sure that my family remains safe?”
Matteo smiles, even if he does look a bit sad.
“To ensure peace,” he says, running his thumb over my chin, “a sacrifice must be made.”
“And what sacrifice is that? How can I end a war before it even starts?”
“With marriage vows.” I swallow hard as his words settle in my chest.
“Marriage vows? As in…” I swallow again, unable to form the words.
“As in you marrying me, yes.”
Matteo’s certifiable. That’s the only explanation I have.
Matteo is out-of-his-mind insane.
But then it hits me. He’s not insane. He’s a devious genius.
By marrying me, my father would have no grounds to seek revenge on Matteo.
Yes, I was taken against my will, but the moment I agree to marry into the Donato family, the hows and whys of how I got there become irrelevant.
I would no longer be an Outfit principessa, but a Cosa Nostra queen.
And in our world, that difference means something.
No, not just something… it means everything.
If my father attempts to even raise his hand against Matteo, he’d be in the wrong. And the whole world would know it.
That means any alliance the Outfit has with other mob-affiliated families would be in jeopardy. None of the other famiglias would back my father in his pursuit of bringing me home.
That would leave the Outfit to wage war with New York all on their own, in Matteo’s home turf no less.
Though I’m unaware of how evenly matched the rival families are in terms of manpower, I’m pretty sure Matteo has the upper hand, knowing the ins and outs of his own city better than my father ever could.
All I see is carnage. Carnage and wedding rings.
“You don’t have to give me an answer right now,” he says, releasing my chin, only to brush his knuckles gently along my cheek.
“Let me prove to you that I meant everything I said tonight. That no Romano will be hurt under my watch during this meeting.” Fear has me clutching the lapels of his suit jacket as he leans down to press a soft kiss to my temple.
“Just think about my proposal. I’ll be home in a few hours.
Hopefully, you’ll have an answer for me then. ” And with that, he leaves.
For the next four hours, I pace the room back and forth, like a madwoman, until the space no longer feels big enough to contain me. Where before I was adamant about staying in my room, tonight I need space to gather my thoughts.
Luckily, I don’t run into anyone in the halls or on the stairs leading down to the first floor of the penthouse. Part of me considers making a run for it, but when I spot the cameras mounted in the corners, I know I wouldn’t get far.
I let out a breath when I step into the living room, which leads to a familiar patio just beyond the large floor-to-ceiling glass doors.
I rush toward it and step outside, the noise of the city traffic below rising up to meet me.
It’s different out here. Like the city is happening somewhere far below, removed from me.
The sharp blare of horns reaches me in softened bursts.
The steady hum of engines blends into a low, constant drone.
A siren cuts through it all, faint but persistent, echoing between buildings before fading into nothing.
It all feels unreal. As if I were watching it all from behind glass, even though there’s nothing between me and the open air.
The warm June breeze brushes against my skin, gentle at this height, carrying none of the grit or chaos I know lingers down below. Up here, everything feels… cleaner. Calmer. But it’s just another lie. No matter how peaceful it feels, I know what this city is capable of. What he’s capable of.
I grip the railing tighter, my eyes scanning the endless stretch of lights and movement below. So many people. So many lives moving forward, unaware of the girl standing high above them, trapped in a gilded cage.
For the first time since I got here, the silence doesn’t comfort me. It suffocates me. Because it serves as a reminder that this city wants me to make it my new home. It wants me to enter an unholy union with the heir to the Donato throne.
If there’s one thing scarier than becoming king of the Cosa Nostra underworld, it’s being the girl he wants to crown his queen. He’ll inherit an empire built on blood, while I inherit the cost of his vengeance.
To ensure peace, a sacrifice must be made. Those were his exact words to me. For the past week, I have been inundated with lies, but those… Those were the most honest words he’s spoken.
When the fine hairs at the nape of my neck stand on end, I know I’m no longer alone on the balcony.
“You’re back,” I say, still staring at the city below.
“I am,” Matteo retorts, the sound of his footsteps approaching me.
“And my family?”
“All alive and well,” he says, assuring.
I let out the breath I had been holding since he left to meet them.
They’re safe. Thank God.
“Your fathers, Vincent, Giovanni, and Dominic, left the meeting of their own accord. Your brother Marcello did too. I’ve been told Jude stayed behind on their private plane, babysitting your sister Stella. Apparently, her presence in my city wasn’t exactly sanctioned by her boss.”
A pang hits my chest at the mere mention of my sister’s name. But I don’t have time to dwell on it, not when something else he said catches my attention more. Especially since he insinuated something similar earlier tonight.
“Fathers?” I parrot, feigning ignorance.
“Secrets like that never stay buried for long.” He chuckles in amusement. “Someone with a bone to pick would have found proof of your family’s dynamics, sooner or later.”
Proof. He’s got proof. Damn it.
“I guess it was just our bad luck that we crossed paths, then,” I counter, my grip tightening in the rail.
“I don’t see it that way,” he whispers, now standing behind me. “Luck had no part in this. Fate, perhaps. Not luck.” When I offer nothing in response, he lets out a low, steady exhale. “I kept my word, Anna. Are you ready to give me yours?”
“My family will never accept this.” I shake my head, refusing to turn around even when I feel his chest graze my back.
“They will,” he says calmly. “I’ll make sure of it.”
“You can’t control everything, Matteo. Even if this ridiculous plan goes the way you expect, my father will still retaliate. He won’t just accept our marriage because tradition dictates it. Lives will be lost.”
“Yes, lives will be lost,” he replies, unfazed.
“How many, depends on you.” Silence stretches between us as he lowers his head toward mine, his mouth so close to my ear I feel his breath against my skin.
“Marry me,” he says softly, while brushing my hair to the side.
“And you will belong to New York. Your father won’t be able to raise a finger against it ever again.
And I will make sure that everyone you love will remain safe. ”
I turn my head slightly, just enough to search his face for a speck of truth I can hold on to. Something to tell me I’m making the right decision. Something that will guarantee this sacrifice isn’t in vain.
“You promise that everyone I love will be spared? Even if war is a given?”
“All I want is New York,” he replies while staring deep into my eyes. “New York… and you.”
I don’t have a choice. I never had a choice. Only the illusion of one.
It was always going to come down to this—me marrying Matteo Donato.
I should have become a nun when I had the chance.