23. Ivy
Chapter 23
Ivy
The crisp morning breeze kisses my cheeks as I stare at the family of swans paddling down the river.
It’s super early, but I was too restless to stay in, so I decided to go outside and enjoy my morning coffee by the river.
There’s a serenity about the place that’s soothing. It’s just what I need to balance me, if only for the time I’m out here. It’s a break. A moment of much-needed respite to regroup with myself.
I didn’t see Thorne last night. He was busy, and so was I. I was practicing for my piano recital next week.
Professor Grimfrost thought it would be a great idea for us to have a small event to get some practical experience.
I’ve done a million of this type of recital in the past, but I’m nervous for this one. Not because of the incredibly talented students in the class who I consider better than me, but because I’m not myself.
Being with Thorne makes me feel like the girl with the borrowed life again.
I know I didn’t exactly stop being her. But because everything about us is so reckless and volatile, I don’t know what to feel.
The logical part of me remembers our arrangement and is scared to death.
The other part of me loses sight of the logical side when I’m around him.
I just stop thinking the way a normal person should.
It can’t be a good thing to be so precarious around a guy who’s blackmailing you.
And what’s going to happen to us?
What’s going to happen to me?
I’ve even lost sight of my idea to get into the Knights’ database.
As it stands now, I’ve accepted that there’s no way for me to get into the system without asking someone for help. At the moment, that person is nonexistent.
The only thing I can actually do is keep my eyes open for an opportunity to present itself, whatever shape or form that might take.
The crunch of leaves behind me pulls me out of my tumultuous thoughts.
It’s Isabelle. She’s carrying a little box from the pastry shop.
We haven’t seen each other since my dramatic exit from English class on Monday with Thorne.
She gives me a little smile before she reaches me but I can see a ton of questions lurking in her eyes.
“Morning.” She holds up the box and smiles brighter. “I come bearing sweet, tasty gifts.”
“You’re the best. I’m in need of a sweet, tasty gift.”
“Perfect. I got deluxe strawberry and vanilla cupcakes with that pretty frosting we all love.”
“Thank you.” I move my coffee cup so she can sit next to me.
“Any time. I love that you love cupcakes as much as I do.” Isabelle sits and places the pastry box between us and opens it, revealing the deliciousness. “Mackenzie is always on some sort of weird diet. This week she’s not having refined sugar or anything brown.”
I laugh. “Anything brown?”
“Yeah. I keep telling her most girls would kill to look like her, but she never listens. She’s trying to lose weight for the Halloween gala. So she won’t be joining us for any treats until after. She wants to fit into her costume.”
“I wish that were all I had to worry about.”
“Is that your way of warming me up to talk about Thorne Ivanov? You knew I was going to ask about him, right?”
I nod slowly. “I’m sure there are a ton of people who want to ask me about him.”
“Actually, there are. You’re seeing him, aren’t you?” She’s looking right at me, staring with that gentleness I first liked about her.
I can’t tell her the whole truth, but I can give her a piece of it. “Yes, in some sort of way.”
She bites back a smile. “I guess that’s why you didn’t want to do anything with Aiden.”
“Yes and no. Thorne and I aren’t exactly official.” Talking about Aiden makes my stomach squeeze. I’ve been thinking about what Thorne told me about him. It made me realize that you really can’t tell what a person is like just from looking at them. I’ll be careful around him and make sure our meetings take place around people, just in case something happens.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to say anything. I’m sorry I warned you away from him.”
“No need to apologize. You were right. It’s just complicated. Thorne and I are an enigma I can’t wrap my head around.” And things have only become more complicated since we started sleeping together.
“Maybe it doesn’t need to be complicated. I won’t profess to know the inner workings of Thorne Ivanov’s crazy mind and his wild ways, but he seems really into you.”
God help my stupid heart. It’s fluttering at the thought of being that one special girl at Raventhorn who managed to win over the campus god.
But I’m not her. Isabelle doesn’t know the external circumstances.
“We’ll see what happens,” I say, giving her a hopeful smile.
“Yeah, maybe he will surprise you.”
“Maybe.”
I’m not sure if that would be a good or bad surprise, but I know that my feelings toward Thorne are changing in ways I never anticipated.
“You were absolutely amazing, sweetheart.” Mom hugs me hard. I sink into her warmth, unable to believe that she’s really here.
She and Levgen surprised me at my piano recital.
We’re in the music theater on campus. I went on stage to play my piece and when I looked into the audience, there they were, sitting in the front row.
I couldn’t believe it. I still don’t know how I managed to contain my excitement and restrain myself from flying off the stage and into their arms.
Seeing them inspired me to play my heart out. The moment the event ended I rushed toward them.
There was no way I would have guessed they would have even thought to attend. When I met Isabelle’s dad last week, I wished my parents could visit me, too. And here they are.
The event was hardly worth telling anyone about because it was so small. But Mom and Levgen flew across the country to surprise me because they knew how nervous I was.
“Ivy is always amazing.” Levgen gives me a hug when Mom and I pull apart.
“Thank you so much. I can’t believe you guys came to see me. Thank you for coming.”
“I’m glad this was a nice surprise.” Mom cups my face.
“It’s the best.” I hug her again, feeling close to tears. If only they knew what I’ve been through in the time I’ve been away.
“Come on, let’s grab something to eat.” Levgen taps my head. “There’s a bistro in the city that I used to go to when I went to Raventhorn.”
“That sounds perfect.”
The three of us head toward the exit of the music building.
Mom links her arm with mine when we walk through the doors. “We thought we could take you shopping tomorrow and spend the weekend doing some sightseeing. That’s if you don’t have plans.” She gives me a suspicious smile.
“Nope, I have no plans except spending time with you.” Thorne will have to understand. I already messaged him to let him know I had to spend time with my parents.
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
She and Levgen exchange a secret smile.
Mom thinks I have a boyfriend and I’m keeping him secret. Of course she’s right, but Thorne is a secret I can never share with them.
We head to the restaurant, where we catch up on what’s been happening in each other’s lives.
As we speak, I think about my father. My desire to help him is so desperate that I'm tempted to ask Levgen about accessing the Knights’ database. But I know I can’t ask him anything without telling him my reasons why. It would be so inappropriate if I brought up that topic now and it would upset Mom.
Worse of all, I know neither of them will help me. In their eyes everything to do with my father needs to stay buried with the past. Neither of them would want to do anything risky, no matter how small to draw attention to themselves.
I keep going around and around in a circle with my thoughts on the matter. Everything I think of is a no-go. Including Thorne.
Things are weird enough between us without me mentioning my father to him.
Levgen starts talking about the anniversary trip to Dubai he's planning to take Mom on, and I push my thoughts about my father away.
I won’t give up on him. I never will. Hope is still in my heart, even after all these years. Sometimes I just feel like if I keep wishing hard enough something will come up.
Right now I just have to be present in my mind and body. Mom and Levgen flew all this way to be with me. I need to enjoy the time with them to show that I’m grateful they’re here. And that’s what I do.
The meal we consume is so fantastic that Mom and I order another vegetable cannelloni to share between us, while Levgen gets a side of ribs.
“This place was everything back in my day,” Levgen says with a deep chuckle. “I can’t believe the food is the same.”
“This was a great choice. The food here tastes amazing.” Mom gives him a quick kiss.
"I’ll have to come back here,” I say, taking a sip of my soda.
“Yes, maybe someone special could bring you back for dinner,” Mom replies playfully.
“Mom, please.”
“Don’t you Mom, please me. I can tell you’re acting strange.”
I roll my eyes at her. “You haven’t seen me in weeks.”
“I don’t have to. I can tell from the way you sound on the phone, and you’re always busy.”
“Because I’m busy.” I’m not going to fool my mother tonight or any other night. She knows me too well.
“I think it would be wonderful if you had a boyfriend.”
“Just be sure he’s someone worthy of my little girl,” Levgen cuts in.
“I will bear that in mind when I decide to get a boyfriend.” I humor them with a half-truth and my heart shies away when I think of how freaked out they would be if they knew I got myself mixed up with Thorne Ivanov.
Not even just mixed up. I’m officially sleeping with him.
I feel like one of those people who have Stockholm syndrome. The only difference between me and them is that I haven’t been physically kidnapped.
The extra food arrives and we tuck in. Then I receive a text.
It’s nine o’clock at night. There’s only one person who would message me at this hour. My entire body goes rigid.
I retrieve my phone to check the message and see it’s from that one person I thought of. Thorne.
The message says.
Come out back to the alley and see me.
My stomach squeezes and I narrow my eyes, staring at the words as if I’m glaring at him. There’s no way he’s here. Right? How did he even know where we were?
“Everything okay, sweetheart?” Mom asks.
“Yes. It’s just my friend. They have a question about class.”
“Oh, okay.” She gives me a curious little smile.
I text back quickly:
What do you want?
The blue dots jump on the phone screen instantly, and he messages back:
I want your wet pussy riding my face.
I move the phone away quickly just as Mom is trying to get a peek, and the blue dots start jumping again.
If you don’t come out, I’ll go in and say hi to your family.
Oh my God, no. I couldn’t even lie about who Thorne is if that happened. Levgen would know who he is right away. Mom would think I’ve gone insane for dating an Ivanov when I know the gravity of our situation. Then I’d have double the stress drilling away at my nerves.
“I just have to make a quick call,” I say to Mom and Levgen, praying they can’t hear the angst in my tone. “I’ll be right back.”
“No worries, sweetie. Go speak to your friend.”
Speak. That’s just the problem. I don’t think Thorne wants to speak. “Thanks. I’ll be right back.”
I grab my little purse with my phone and rush out of the restaurant.
There’s only one alley on the left of the building, so I head down it. It’s dark and scary but since this is the good part of town, I thank my lucky stars it’s not dirty and dangerous.
There are a few dumpsters lining the walls but other than that the path is clean. I search for Thorne but don’t see him.
When I reach the very end of the alley a dark figure steps out from the shadows.
It’s him. He has the hood up on his sweatshirt, and he’s smoking again.
As he gets closer I’m reminded that this guy scares me and mesmerizes me in equal parts.
Sometimes I forget how dangerous he is. In the same breath I’m aware there’s very little I know about him while he knows so much about me.
He even knew where I’d be tonight.
Thorne slips his hood back, revealing his handsome face in the faint moonlight. It takes me back to the night we first met. We’ve come so far since that night.
“Hello, Bambi.” An easy, sexy grin slides across his face.
“What are you doing here?”
“I told you.”
“How did you know where I was?”
“I tracked your phone.”
My body goes rigid and anger slithers into my lungs. “You what?”
“You heard me.”
“That is an invasion of my privacy.”
“Listen to you trying to hand me my ass again. I told you you’re mine. Meaning you have no privacy.”
“Thorne, that is ridiculous. My parents are here, and you?—”
He pulls me in for a kiss, crushing the words on my lips away with his. Thorne nibbles at my neck and feels up my breasts then, I don’t know how he does it, but his kiss and his touch dissolve my anger to nothing but desire.
His kiss and his touch are all I’m aware of. I know I should have better control of myself, but the part of me that craves him forbids me.
He cups my sex and the jolt of pleasure at last triggers my awareness, reminding me we’re in the alleyway. A place where anyone could catch us.
“Thorne, we can’t do this here.”
“I don’t care where we are. I want to fuck you.”
“But someone could see us.” I press against his hard chest to loosen his grip on me but he pulls me closer.
“Either I fuck you here up against the wall or you come back to my car and have to explain to your parents why you took so, so long.” The cunning smile he gives me tells me he already knows which option I’m going to choose.
Obviously I don’t want to take too long.
“You asshole,” I mutter. His smile turns wider.
“That comeback is getting tired. Newsflash: you like me just like this. You wouldn’t want me any other way.”
“I don’t like assholes.”
“Yes, you do. You like the darkness, little deer.” He nibbles on my neck again. “That’s why you like me. You like that I’m dangerous, and my disregard for everyone else’s rules. And you like that I’m bold enough to do this.”
Thorne pulls my top down under my breasts, exposing them to the air, then he lowers to suck. His mouth on my skin ends the argument.
He swirls his tongue around my nipples, hardening them, and the sensation shoots down to my core, leaving me wanting more.
With that sinful I-have-you-where-I-want-you grin, he ushers me into a corner alcove where we’re secluded enough so people can’t see us. Or rather, not from the road. Someone could still catch us if they chose to come down the path. The staff from the restaurant, or just some random person using the alleyway as a shortcut.
But right now, I kind of don’t care.
Thorne unzips his pants and takes out his cock, then he turns me to face the wall and bunches up my skirt. He bends me over and slides my panties aside, then he slides his cock into me from behind.
I like this position. I always feel him deeper and it feels even better tonight. Maybe because we’re outside and the possibility of getting caught makes it feel that much sweeter.
He starts pumping into me and we both moan from the sweet pleasure.
“Jesus, Ivy… you feel so fucking good,” Thorne groans. “How the fuck were we supposed to skip tonight?”
He’s right. It feels too good. So good that I allow myself to get lost in the wildness of this moment and stop thinking about where we are, who’s waiting for me, and what we’re doing.
Thorne grabs my hips and fucks me up against the wall, pounding into my body relentlessly with rough, hard strokes.
My moans come faster with every thrust into my throbbing pussy.
Anyone passing by would definitely be able to hear me but, again, I don’t care.
Thorne speeds up and I try to grasp the wall to take the impact, as if I can sink my fingers into the bricks. I know I can’t, but I need something to balance me so I don’t fade away.
I can’t believe we’re outside fucking in an alleyway while my parents are waiting for me to return to dinner.
And I can’t believe how good this feels.
How many lies have I told tonight?
No, I don’t have a boyfriend, Mom, but look at me.
No, we can’t do this here, but this is wild, and I’d do it again.
No, I don’t like assholes, Thorne, but I like you.
My God. I like him, but didn’t I know that all along? Of course I did, and I don’t just like him.
When he took my virginity he didn’t force me. I gave it to him. I gave myself to him.
I wouldn’t be here now if I simply liked him.
He pounds harder, shaking the thoughts from my mind then he comes, and I join him when I feel his cum inside me.
Thorne pulls out but then he turns me around and slips his hand behind my head to guide me to his lips. We kiss and stay out here for far too long.
When he stops, I don’t want him to.
I don’t want him to leave either, which makes me realize that I’m in trouble.
Then he kisses me again.