25. ~Caterina~
25
~Caterina~
I stared at the tracking chip I’d cleaned after extracting it from Julian a couple of hours ago. It had been a very easy procedure to remove it and it hadn’t left him with any damage. It would heal within a few days completely, and it hadn’t even required stitches.
But that had been the least of it.
The fact that he’d been chipped at all was what had done the most damage.
The indignity of it, being treated like a thing rather than a person through having that done to him, it had served to intensify what Julian had already been suffering through as a result of Angelo’s other heinous actions.
But while it was despicable, it had also unwittingly revealed a very exploitable weakness in Angelo.
It had highlighted that his goal hadn’t only been to make Julian his little bitch , punish him and dominate him. It had become more than that. Whether that had occurred during Julian’s captivity, or whether the seeds had been planted beforehand, wasn’t clear. But what was clear was the fact that Angelo was so obsessed with him that he hadn’t been able to stand losing track of him, so he’d gone to extreme lengths. He was emotionally invested.
And that was definitely a weakness we could exploit.
One we could use to draw him out more than even the chip itself and get Julian the justice and closure that he truly needed, that desperate need which had been driven home to all of us tonight in a very painful way.
I secured the chip in a lockbox I’d had brought over from my apartment, then sank onto the foot of the bed.
I’d almost told Nico and Milo about my pregnancy earlier.
At first, I’d had it in my mind to wait for the perfect time to come around, but after having that talk with Julian, he’d made it clear that it needed to be a lot sooner. So I’d planned to do it after the attacks tomorrow, thinking that would have been a compromise on the whole perfect time thing.
There was no such thing, though.
Especially not for us, not until this was all over.
The mission tonight going haywire had just served to highlight how things could go off the rails despite the best laid plans and strategies guiding the way.
Plus, there was no definitive date etched on the proverbial calendar for when this war would be over, because there were unknowns involved. Reactions to our actions tonight and tomorrow night couldn’t be determined precisely and they’d all have a knock-on effect upon one another.
We hoped we could end this swiftly, but the truth was we couldn’t be certain of that.
And keeping this secret too much longer… it would become poison.
To us all.
That was the last thing I wanted.
But what had really settled it for me where confessing this secret was concerned had been walking in on the guys going at each other in the kitchen, seeing them strained with each other like that, on rocky ground. It had brought it slamming home to me how much I needed us to be together right now, how much I needed them, and, most of all, us.
I’d admired their comradery, their deep friendship and the familial bond between them all from the outset as soon as I’d borne witness to it, but being a part of it now was a whole other level. The idea of losing that, of it fracturing, I couldn’t stand it.
And I wouldn’t have it. I certainly didn’t want to become a factor for risking that.
Yes, I was concerned about being benched once they knew, but I’d also been able to recognize that it was driven in a large part by my trust issues that my father and his demeaning and misogynistic treatment of me were at the root of.
The guys didn’t deserve to have that put upon them.
They’d done so much to earn my trust, I had to be able to do the same in return.
And I’d been about to until Nico had mistaken what I’d intended as referencing Carlo’s intel that he’d been temporarily holding back from Milo.
Once he’d put that revelation out there, the opportunity to reveal the pregnancy in that moment had gone to hell.
Milo had been devastated.
After he’d walked out, we’d all gone after him and he’d locked his door and told us he needed time alone.
Since then, Nico had been corresponding with his soldiers and Carlo, double and triple checking that everything was in place for tomorrow. He’d also put feelers out to find out what the reaction to Shawn Price’s operations being destroyed had been from the Marchettis and the Leones, but nothing had been determined yet.
That was actually more concerning than if there had been something.
So was the fact that there’d been no activity from either Marco or Santino’s phones since the first couple of days that I’d infiltrated them when we’d been searching for Julian. Given how often they used them, like an extension of themselves, with everything they had to deal with on a day-to-day basis, the only realistic explanation was that they’d ditched them and had acquired new ones, which obviously also meant they’d somehow discovered that they’d been infiltrated. I was no amateur when it came to that, so the four of us had reasoned that it had to have been Angelo who’d tipped them off. He must have put the pieces together when I’d shown up to extract Julian, when he’d seen what I’d been capable of. He must have also tried to access the surveillance footage at that godforsaken house that I’d corrupted beyond functionality.
If he didn’t know it was me who was capable of that, he definitely would have suspected it was one of the four of us.
While I’d warned Nico about it during our drive to meet with Carlo that day, he’d reframed it as something positive, as both a deterrent to them now they were aware of the damage we could do even from afar, and also as another stand against them.
I believed some part of him thought that Marco would question his recent unhinged actions, including allying with my father, through seeing how much his own son was opposing him.
I understood it. I’d thought the same thing about my father until the point of no return a few years ago. I’d thought he could be saved, that he could turn back from the bad path he’d been headed down. But that hadn’t happened in the least.
Whether it would for Marco remained to be seen.
My phone buzzed, cutting through my concerned thoughts, and I snatched it up from my nightstand to see a text from Julian.
Julian: What do you think?
I frowned, wondering what he was getting at until another message came in—a screenshot.
I jolted as I opened it to see what he’d just posted on his IG.
Nico had asked him to spread word about the truth of our marriage.
Well, what we’d thought had been a marriage until tonight.
I gritted my teeth and forced myself to swallow that down and the issues with Joe that had arisen as a result, and I focused on what I was seeing on my screen now.
My best bud, Nico, and his new bride? Forced arranged marriage, guys. Sickening, right? They tried to silence us, but you’re getting the truth right here and now. She’s ours. Our woman, our love, our everything. Loved and adored. FU Santino. You too, Marco. #ourgirl #nowandalways
As if the caption wasn’t bold enough, the accompanying photo really drove it home.
Julian took a lot of selfies and shots of this and that, being an IG fanatic. But he didn’t post any that he’d taken of the four of us together. I hadn’t even seen him take this one, and the reason was made clear as I stared at the image of him grinning salaciously at the camera as me, Nico, and Milo were asleep, the four of us all wrapped up in one another in Nico’s bed. Although we were covered by a blanket, it was obvious we were naked beneath and my hair screamed just-fucked, too.
Holy. Shit.
I texted him back.
Caterina: You certainly went above and beyond.
Julian: Did you expect anything less, darlin’?
Caterina: You openly challenged Santino and Marco.
Julian: I’m already a target.
Caterina: Not like this.
Julian: It needed to be done.
Caterina: Where are you?
Julian: In the pool. Come join me.
Caterina: I don’t have a bathing suit here.
Julian: I know.
I rolled my eyes.
Caterina: Coming to talk to you.
Julian: Sure. We’ll call it that. Get Nico and Milo on your way. They’re in Milo’s room.
Caterina: I thought Milo wanted to be left alone.
Julian: You know Nico’s persistence better than most.
I certainly did.
Caterina: I’m not sure they’ll be in the mood for a dip in the pool. And I thought you were sleeping.
Julian: Change of plans. We all could do with some levity. You know, fun?
Fun? Right now? With everything that had happened tonight? Was he serious?
Before I could respond, he sent another text, being as astute as he always was. Unnervingly so sometimes.
Julian: More than ever, Cat.
Julian: “Right now, though, the four of us will just take a beat, be together.” Nico’s words. Remember them?
Now, who was being the persistent one?
Caterina: On my way.
Julian: *heart emoji*
I smiled to myself in spite of it all, then locked my phone and left it on the nightstand before heading out of my bedroom.
I made my way along the corridor, then down the stairs, heading over to Milo’s wing.
If we did decide to make us all living here together a permanent thing, we’d have to fix the room arrangements. I didn’t like how they currently were so far apart, the separate rooms.
Muffled voices reached me as I neared Milo’s room.
“I don’t blame you in the least, Nico. I know if you’d been aware, things would have played out differently. Very differently.”
“They would have. I never fucking would have had you pledging your loyalty to the people who were responsible for taking your parents from you. It makes me sick knowing this twisted truth, knowing all this time that—”
“It’s all right.”
“What?”
“I’m not gonna fly off the handle, or pull a Julian.”
“I thought—”
“That’s why I came in here, to process it all. And so we’re clear, I pledged my loyalty to you.”
“I know, you did. I know.”
“I do need your help with this, though.”
“I’m here. Name it, what can I do?”
“I want you to teach me how to properly compartmentalize this.”
“You know how dangerous that can be.”
“Just while we’re in the midst of war. I won’t let it impact me, or you, or any of us. So long as I know you’ll leave Leo to me when the time comes.”
“He’s yours. I swear it to you. And, yes, I’ll teach you how to compartmentalize it. Just temporarily, though. Understood?”
“Understood, brother.”
“Okay.”
“Hey, thanks for telling me tonight. I figured you’d hold off on it until all of this was over. Or at least until the attacks tomorrow and the corresponding blowback were beyond us. You must’ve been worried that it would fuck things up, especially if I lost it.”
“I was. But you’ve been willing to work with Carlo when you thought all these years that Benzino collateral damage had been responsible. Besides, seeing Julian tonight, then Caterina talking about the hurt and shock she’s feeling because of Stover’s secretive actions, it brought it to the forefront. Secrets are poison, especially to our foursome.”
I jerked back from the door, grimacing at that.
Shit.
It took me several moments to get a hold of myself and actually step back up to the door and knock. Not like me at all. This whole thing, everything that was happening… I felt like it was undercutting who I was, who I’d worked so hard to be over the last few years.
Only two things made it better, grounded me to who I was. The first was when I unleashed that dangerous, monstrous part of myself. But the second was my men. And if the first was in play, it was a risk to them. Or it had become a risk, anyway. Last time, I’d hurt Nico. And even when unleashing had been sexual and not combat-related, it had left him with marks that had taken days to heal.
I couldn’t… I couldn’t do that anymore. I couldn’t see any of them hurt, especially not at my hands.
They’d all been through enough as it was.
And when tomorrow night’s assault took place, that was only going to become a whole lot worse.
“Come in,” Milo’s voice called out.
I sucked in a steadying breath and opened the door to find Milo and Nico sitting on the foot of his bed, facing one another. Nico’s back was to the door, and he turned as I entered, beaming out at me in his usual loving way. Milo gave me what Julian called his teddy bear eyes.
Guilt slashed through me.
More so than it had already been doing as it was.
“Everything all right?” Nico asked, obviously noticing some uncomfortableness coming off me.
I cleared my throat and told them, “Julian wants us out by the pool. He said we need some levity and fun.”
“Fun,” Nico mused.
“A foreign concept right now, yes?” I tried to joke, partially succeeding—I hoped.
“Maybe it shouldn’t be,” Nico said.
But Milo was frowning and then he asked, “Julian said that?”
“Texted it, but yes.”
“Things like this were how he’s always blown off steam in the past,” Nico told him. “He’s clearly trying to get back to that, especially after what happened tonight.”
“Trying to, yeah. But whether he’s actually ready is a whole other thing.”
“There’s only one way to know,” I pointed out.
Milo nodded and rose to his feet. “Then we go slow and carefully.”
“Of course,” Nico agreed.
I nodded. “Definitely.” And I wasn’t going to bring out that dangerous side of me, either. For Julian and for them as well.
“We’ll get changed and meet you out there,” Nico told me. He smiled and added, “ Amore mio.”
I winked at him. “Right back at you.”
As I turned and headed out, I heard their voices carrying.
“So it’s like that, is it? With everything that’s been happening, I guess I didn’t pick up on it. But you’ve obviously declared your undying love for her and vice versa.”
“Correct.”
“Well, that certainly explains why you weren’t so upset about the marriage falsity.”
“It might have something to do with it. There’s also the fact that once it sinks in, it’ll make her feel better.”
“Freer?”
“And more in control again, knowing she’s not bound by it. And for me, it gets Marco and Santino’s taint off of it, of our relationship, of all of us. It’s better for our foursome.”
“I agree.”
I smiled to myself.
Yeah, it hadn’t sunk in yet.
It had been complicated by what Joe had done, how he’d gone about the entire thing.
It wasn’t like him to do something like that either, the manipulation, the extremely underhanded covert approach and basically moving us around like chess pieces on his fucking board.
At least, he’d never done it with me before.
Something had changed, and it concerned me as to what that was.