27. ~Emilio~
27
~Emilio~
This was nice.
Normal.
Cozy.
We were all sprawled out on Julian’s bed in the living room suite that Nico had set up, in our bathrobes watching that Merlin show that Caterina liked. I got the appeal with her love of the myth of King Arthur, and it was certainly entertaining, although I was more of a high fantasy fan myself.
Nico was sitting up against the headboard with his arm wrapped around Caterina, who was munching on some of Julian’s Maltesers now he’d had his fill. He was sprawled out in the middle of the bed, his head in her lap as she stroked his hair. And I was nestled against her other side, playing with her hair with one hand while snacking on some toffee popcorn with Caterina, deciding to lean into the whole letting it all go theme of tonight and actually breaking from what Julian called my bodybuilder diet.
“Why are so many of these things only aimed at a younger audience?” Nico mused. “There’s a lot that can be done at a more mature level. A lot more of the darker aspects that could be explored.”
“And the fun and dirty aspects,” Julian added.
Because, of course.
I studied him as he was oblivious and focused on the show.
He’d handled what had gone down in the pool really well.
Easily, it had seemed.
It shouldn’t be possible with what he’d been through.
I mean, of course I wanted him to be okay, and I’d been so fucking happy seeing him not only being able to get physical, but to be reveling in it like he had earlier, bringing his dominating edge to the table and taking the lead like he usually did. Well, usually, it was a tossup between him and Nico, often the two of them together and feeding off each other.
But I was concerned that it wasn’t real.
Worse, that he’d convinced himself that he was fine and able to handle fucking so soon after what had happened, when he actually couldn’t.
He’d basically begged us to back off and let him do things his way, claiming that the alternative had actually been hurting him.
So we’d agreed to it.
And we’d planned to see how it played out and take it from there.
But then he’d broken down outside the warehouses.
Then he’d been in a rage.
And then it had all slipped away like it had never been, and he’d been on solid ground again, even pushing for us to get it on in the pool.
It was… it was a clusterfuck.
I understood if that was just how he felt at the moment, that it couldn’t be helped, and he was swinging from one thing to the other, his emotions going haywire.
But it worried me that he was pushing himself too hard to not be impacted in other ways, that it was the root of his emotions going from one extreme to the other, rather than it being the result of him actually working through what he’d suffered through.
But bringing it up clearly wasn’t helping. He’d only reacted really fucking badly so far.
And right now, in this specific moment, he seemed to be content, so mentioning it would only fuck all over that.
The thing with Julian was that he could hide the truth better than anybody I’d ever known. A big part of that was because he had the ability to read others so well. He knew what we’d each pick up on and he could work with it too fucking well.
“I’m thinking about selling Nocturne ,” he announced suddenly. “Or maybe just demolishing it altogether.”
What the—
“Why?” Nico asked. “We’ve severed Marchetti influence. You’re free of it now.”
“Yeah, I know, and I appreciate you helping me with that, but I just don’t think it’s appropriate anymore.”
Caterina shifted and choked a little on a Malteser she was munching on.
All that fucking had clearly worked up an appetite for her, because she’d gone through half of the bag already and two-thirds of the popcorn bowl we were sharing.
“Appropriate?” I asked. “Since when has that been an issue for you?”
Was this about what had happened? Was he finally acknowledging it again, about to start processing it?
That hope was quickly snuffed out when he told us, “It’s an issue now, I guess. I just feel like a change. A shift in my brand. Nocturne doesn’t fit with where I want to take things.”
“Take things in what direction, exactly?” Nico asked. “A wholesome approach? You?”
Julian turned on Caterina’s lap to look out at us. “Yeah, why not?”
“You don’t need to do that, Julian,” Caterina told him.
“I think I do, darlin’.”
“No. It’s really okay.”
“What’s okay? What’s going on?” I pushed.
“Caterina told us that you wanted to be exclusive. Is that what this is about?” Nico asked.
Julian and Caterina exchanged a look.
And then he looked away and settled back down to his previous position. “Yeah. That’s what it’s about.”
“You’ve been exclusive since the four of us got together,” Nico reminded him. “Are you concerned it’s too much temptation to keep Nocturne?”
“Exactly.”
“That’s bullshit,” I said. “All of us can see that you’re fully committed to our foursome. Committed in a way I’ve never seen from you before.”
Caterina cursed and pulled from all of us, then got off the bed, handing the Maltesers back to Julian—or what was left of them. “He is committed. He’s been amazing. All of you have. It’s me. ”
She started pacing then and tugging at the belt of her robe nervously too.
“Cat, it’s okay. I promise,” Julian told her, sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed.
“What’s okay?” Nico asked, his rapidly mounting concern mirroring mine.
“It’s all my fault. I’m sorry,” Caterina told us, looking so out of sorts, it had my gut twisting. “So much has been going on and the timing is atrocious. I just… and after Milo finding out about Leo earlier, I thought it best to wait. Again. But waiting is just prolonging it. It’s keeping a secret, a massive secret that impacts your lives too. I should’ve… I should’ve told you sooner. I’m sorry, I just—”
“Caterina,” Nico spoke, jumping off the bed and going to her. “Take a breath,” he said, reaching out and taking her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. “Just tell us what’s going on.”
“I’m fine,” I assured her, getting off the bed too and joining them. “I’m processing it and I’ll handle it. Don’t worry about that, all right? And certainly don’t let it put you off telling us whatever this is that’s clearly eating you up inside. I don’t want that. None of us do.”
Caterina’s gaze flicked to Julian, and he gave her an encouraging nod, making it clear beyond a shadow a doubt that he already knew what this secret of hers was.
I could see Nico straining not to bombard her with questions, to push it along. He even had to drop his hand from hers, so he could clench both down by his sides in order to hold himself back. He really had come a long way with her, from obsession to actual love, being able to recognize and do what was best for her above all.
I watched with bated breath as she shifted her weight uncomfortably, then pressed her hand to her stomach and looked between me and Nico.
“I’m pregnant.”
I choked as the words hung there heavily.
Nico took an unsteady step back and scrubbed his hand over his face.
He was usually the best at taking in information and processing it rapidly, then taking action.
But this wasn’t just information.
This was… something else entirely.
“A baby,” I uttered.
“That’s what pregnancy entails, the special little gift at the end,” Julian spoke, pushing off the bed with a bit of a struggle.
Yeah, he’d overdone it tonight. Another example of him trying to move along at light speed with everything. Goddammit, Sunshine.
He winced to himself, then tried to fake it, like he could simply shake off the ache he was obviously feeling. “Take those damn painkillers in the nightstand there,” I told him.
“I’m all good.”
The hell he was.
I gritted my teeth and looked away, focusing back on Caterina.
As she looked out at us, nervously awaiting our reactions, she was more emotional and unsettled than I’d ever seen from her before.
As much as I didn’t want her feeling that way, I was glad that she was putting it out there now, trusting in us, connecting with us, even when it was difficult.
The fact she’d actually told Nico and me right before the strikes tomorrow was a big deal, too. It must have crossed her mind that we’d try to pull her from the front lines of it all the moment she put the revelation out there. Yet, here she was, trusting us again.
“Legacy ,” Nico rasped, at last. “That’s what you meant before.”
“Yeah,” she responded uneasily.
Julian wrapped his arm around her. “Just give them a moment. I promise you it will be okay,” he said quietly, doing his best to comfort her.
I frowned. She thought we wouldn’t be happy about it? No, that wasn’t it at all.
And it wasn’t why Nico was struggling to absorb the news. I knew him better than anyone, and because I did, I understood what was at the root of his shock where this came into play.
He reacted badly enough when one of us was hurt, but with a baby in the picture—our baby—it would be another fucking level where that protective intensity was concerned.
And then there was his feral side and where that was all rooted, connected to his intense compartmentalization of the guilt for all the fucked-up things he’d done both as Capo for the Marchetti Syndicate and from losing control too. Caterina had accepted that about him. More than that, she got off on it, she loved it. But with a baby, that just wouldn’t fly anymore. He was clearly worried it would change things, change them , and also whether he could actually keep it in check when the time came, when the baby arrived and we became fathers.
It was a lot to absorb.
I saw him reach into the pocket of his robe where he’d put his lighter and smoke, but he stopped himself at the last second. She was pregnant, no smoking around her.
On my end, I was also coming at it from a protective angle, trying to figure out how to react when the inevitable would soon follow and she asked how this news would impact her contribution to this war.
Majorly, if I had anything to do with it.
Nico would be with me.
But I needed to get a grip and focus on the immediate and taking all this concern and upset away for her.
I stepped up to her and stroked the fluffy arms of her robe. “This is a little miracle.”
“Yeah?” she asked with a tentative smile.
It was so strange seeing her this way. So… unsure.
No, it was more than that.
It was stark vulnerability.
“Definitely. No question about it.”
“Told you,” Julian said, grinning at her and stepping back so I could wrap her up in my arms. “You’re taking the teddy bear eyes thing to a whole other level wrapping her up while you’re wearing that fluffy robe,” he teased.
“Teddy bear eyes,” I said, giving him a withering look.
“I love them, big boy.”
“I know you do.”
Caterina chuckled into my chest.
When I eased back, Nico was standing right there in front of the three of us, his gaze focused intensely on Caterina.
Emotion swam in his eyes.
“This is everything,” he spoke, his voice choked up as he uttered the words.
He stunned all of us then as he suddenly dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his ear to her belly. “Thank you.”
Wow.
Caterina smiled and slid her hands into his hair. “You’re happy?”
He lifted his head and beamed up at her. “Beyond merely happy. This is incredible. Are you happy? How do you feel? Now we know what was going on with the exhaustion and vomiting. And why you’ve been so hungry lately. Fuck, if I hadn’t had my mind focused on the upcoming strikes, I would’ve fucking noticed. I’m so sorry. What do you need? We should make an appointment for an ultrasound and—”
“Whoa,” Julian said, holding up his hand. “Excitement noted, N. But take it easy, yeah?”
Nico sucked in a breath and rose to his feet, telling a stunned Caterina, “I’m sorry.” He stroked her arms. “What can I do?”
“Nothing,” she said. “Now this weight is off, now you know and your reactions were better than I ever imagined, everything is good.” She smiled out at all of us. “It’s perfect.”
It would be if we weren’t in the middle of war.
“Nico, I’ll get one of our safehouses ready for her. We can—”
“No,” he ground out.
“No?”
“She’s not being pushed off onto the sidelines.”
“I wouldn’t put it that way. She’s pregnant. Carrying our baby. With everything coming, we can’t just—”
“She’s a part of this. An integral part. And that’s where she’ll stay.”
What was happening?
He shifted the subject in the next second, asking her, “So, are you happy about this, principessa?”
“I am, yeah. Nervous, though.”
“Of course, it’s gonna be a big change, a lot to prepare for.” He smiled wildly. “But it’s also going to be absolutely amazing.”
“Expanding our family,” Julian mused, looking all starry-eyed in that sweet way of his.
That rare giggle escaped Caterina, and that was it for all of us. We crowded her, wrapping ourselves around her.
A baby.
We were having a baby.