Chapter 40
Selena
Before I fell asleep, I’d braced myself for nightmares. After what had happened with Preston, it would be impossible not to dream about it.
But none came. It took me a full five minutes to realize that when I woke in the morning, wrapped in Brody’s arms. His smell was in my head, his body pressed against mine, and I could still feel exactly what it’d been like to have him inside me.
Stripes of sunlight fell across the bed. Slowly, so as not to wake Brody, I moved my hand toward a broad stripe. Warmth sank through my skin, and for the first time in a year, I really felt it. The cold that had settled in my bones was absent for once.
I knew I should get up and shower. I had rehearsal in the afternoon. I slid toward the edge of the bed.
“Don’t even think about it.”
I jumped at his voice. He tugged me back and pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around my waist. I couldn’t wriggle away.
“You should sleep more,” I said.
“I feel like I’ve slept for a lifetime.”
“Close. It’s ten a.m.”
Brody opened his eyes. “Seriously? Fuck, you wore me out. I haven’t slept this late since… actually, I can’t remember when.”
“We should get up then—and don’t even suggest going for a run.”
“Exercise is important in the morning. Luckily for us, there’s a fun way to get our workout in this morning.”
“How?”
He rolled on top of me, settling his hips between my legs. “How else?”
“Seriously? Again, already?”
“Sweetheart, I’ve come inside you. I’m hooked. I’m never going to stop,” he said firmly.
Never? What did that even mean?
Then he tugged the covers down to trail kisses down my body.
“Wait!” I tried to draw the covers back over my body. The streaming broad daylight was intimidating. Sure, I’d laid my heart and soul bare last night, but that didn’t mean I was ready for Brody to see every single scar and mark on my body.
“It’s too bright,” I complained.
“It’s perfect. I can actually see you this morning.”
“That’s exactly the problem.”
He pulled back and grabbed my arm, looking at the little healed lines from when I’d cut myself a few weeks before.
I was about to argue that we needed to close the curtains, when Brody leaned in and kissed the scars.
My heart all but jumped to my mouth. He kissed every single one and then moved to the other arm. That one was far worse. It had the brand. He studied it, my arm hitting the light just right to illuminate every ugly rivulet of melted skin.
Then Brody leaned in and touched his lips to it. He kissed the ugliest part of me, and after last night, I knew that he saw me. All of me. With all my issues and failings and weaknesses.
Then he continued downward, pressing my legs apart, and I stopped caring about the light.
“Now, Selena, I want you to read it again, but this time, you dare to look Claudio in the eyes. Your ladies-in-waiting are fluttering around you, protecting you from his robust, hearty male energy,” Director Cho announced.
Everyone around us chuckled. Lincon puffed his chest up and swaggered over, making everyone laugh more.
“Am I doing it right? The robust, hearty male energy?” he asked in a mock-serious tone.
I laughed. “Until you speak, it’s great.”
“Damn it.” Lincon grinned.
“Okay, and go!” Director Cho called.
I took a second to steady myself and then looked up at Lincon, gave a small, shy smile, and started my lines.
Time melted away, and before I knew it, Director Cho was clapping loudly when the scene ended, and conversation hummed around us.
“Excellent, you both nailed that. Let’s move on to Lincon talking to the guys. Selena, you’re done for today if you need to go.”
I nodded and grabbed my water bottle, bidding goodbye to the rest of the cast as I made my way out of the drama department.
Late summer was turning swiftly into fall in Hade Harbor. The trees were already turning, tinges of gold and yellow ripping through the woods that circled the HHU campus. Fall was my favorite season. Not too cold, sunny and bright, but not hot. This year, I was looking forward to cozy fall nights.
Because of Brody.
I pushed that smug, knowing voice from my head.
It was dangerous. I couldn’t be falling this hard for Brody.
Sure, messing around was fun, and it was healing me in a way I’d stopped hoping I could be healed, but he was still my stepbrother at the end of the day.
There was no changing that. It was the truth I tried to run away from in my head.
Weirdly, Brody didn’t seem to care. The same Brody who had such strong paranoia about his family’s reputation. It was odd.
I hit the main path through campus and turned toward the ice rink.
Winter had been asking me to meet her there to watch the evening practice.
I’d pretended it was a pain; I’d even gone as far as to beg to meet somewhere else, when honestly, I wanted to watch the Hellions train. I wanted to watch him train.
I spied Winter sitting right at the edge of the ice.
Coach Williams sometimes sent fangirls away from practice, because there were just too many of them, and they often distracted the players by shouting out or lingering by the ice to talk to them.
But Winter was an Ice God’s girlfriend. Coach Williams would never tell her to sit farther back.
“Here, I got you this,” Winter said and passed me a red paper cup.
“Ooh, what is it?”
“They just got their fall drinks in. I know you love a good pumpkin spice anything.”
I took the huge cup and inhaled the familiar scent of fall. “Yes, I am that basic, and I don’t even care.” I sipped it and groaned. “Man, that’s so good. It’s really going to be fall soon.”
“You know you can get that flavor most of the rest of the year now?”
I shook my head firmly. “Nope. You can only have it around Fall. That’s the rule. You have to be disciplined about these things, or they’re not special anymore.”
Winter nodded. “I can see you’ve given this way too much thought.”
“Oh, definitely.” I looked at the rink.
The players had just started to skate out on the ice.
I spied Brody immediately. Cal skated just behind him. He was the one who spotted me first and skated over. I hadn’t seen Cal since the party; well, not properly. Standing in the dark bathroom doorway behind Brody didn’t count.
Cal slid to an impressively sharp stop right in front of us and leaned over the boards. He shoved his cage back and surveyed me with his blue-green eyes.
He didn’t speak. He just studied me, his head tilted to the side.
I nodded and wrapped my hands around my coffee, needing something to do to avoid meeting his curious gaze.
Coach blew the whistle from the middle of the ice. Cal nodded to himself once and slammed his cage back down, then turned and skated away.
“Well, that was weird.”
“He’s a man of few words,” I told Winter.
“So I hear, or don’t hear. Whatever. He’s hot. Don’t tell Asher I said that.”
“You just have a type: the silent, strong, brooding type.”
Winter laughed. “Guilty as charged. What about his brother? He doesn’t seem like the silent type.”
“He’s not. He’s not broody either, or mysterious. I feel like with Brody what you see is what you get.”
“So, arrogant, English asshole?” Winter ventured, a phrase I’d used often to describe him.
“Exactly. On the surface anyway,” I muttered, watching as the guys started their warmup stretches.
Jesus, just watching Brody stretch was threatening to turn me on. He stared across the ice, right at us. I wasn’t close enough to see if his eyes were on me, but I felt like they were.
“Just on the surface? He sure was arrogant and really fucking annoying last night when he hid you away and refused to let anyone know where you were or what you were doing. Oh, and when he kicked everyone out. Actually, that was pretty impressive. I thought Marcus was going to sue for breach of agreement.”
I sighed. I could just imagine it, and yet, I couldn’t feel bad about it. Brody had thrown me a rope last night when I was about to drown.
“So, what did happen between you two last night? I want to hear all of it, every detail. Don’t leave anything out.”
I slid her a sideways look. “Promise me first that you won’t tell Asher.”
Winter held her pinkie out. “I promise not to tell him anything, unless it’s something that he could help with… like breaking someone’s skull, in your name, of course.”
Knowing that was the closest thing to a commitment I’d get from Winter, I hooked her pinkie in mine and shook.
She wanted to know, so I’d tell her.
While Brody and the guys skated different formations, blocked plays, and strategized for the next game, I told Winter a sanitized version of what had happened last night.
I left out the cutting. She’d freak out.
But I told her about me and Brody, and that we’d slept together.
I couldn’t keep the secret in for one more second, and she was my best friend in the world.
She clapped a hand over her mouth and shot up in her seat dramatically. I quickly pulled her back down.
“Don’t overreact or anything!” I hissed at her, as she drew the attention of the players closest to us, including Brody.
He looked in our direction. Winter pushed my hands away to beam at me.
“I knew it! I knew he was obsessed with you, I just couldn’t prove it.
I knew it, wow. I never miss,” she said more to herself than me, and then turned a Cheshire cat grin on me.
“How was it? It’s been a while… so how was your triumphant return to the world of banging?
It was great, right? He has the aura of someone who knows what to do in bed.
That confidence, that body—I just know he was great. ”
“Oh God, don’t say that. Stop or I’ll tell Asher. Are you ovulating or something?” I teased.
She laughed. “Sorry, I’m just excited for you.”
“Excited for me to have slept with my stepbrother? Surely you should be telling me to be careful. What if my mom found out?”
“You’re not related. You didn’t grow up together. He’s just a hot guy you live with, like a sexy neighbor. I don’t care what your mom thinks, because honestly, she doesn’t deserve the consideration. You have to put yourself first.”
“I guess,” I said uncertainly. “Anyway, there’s not really a need to tell her anything. We hooked up. That’s it. It’s not like it’s an ongoing thing. It’s just a casual hookup.”
Brody skated past us and came to a hard stop, showering ice across the bench.
“Hey,” Winter protested mildly and made a show of dusting off her skirt, while speaking to me out of the corner of her mouth. “Looks like someone can’t stay away.”
“Shut it,” I whispered back, terrified of being caught talking about him. The embarrassment would be too much to bear.
“Heathen, my strap is loose, can you tighten it?” Brody called to me.
I nodded and stood, all the blood in my body rushing to my face as I made my way over to the opening in the boards where Brody waited.
With his skates on, he towered over me.
I reached up and grabbed the strap under his chin, pulling it tighter. I could feel the arctic heat coming off him.
“You can go tighter. Don’t hold back,” Brody murmured, watching me.
I attempted to tug the strap as hard as possible without pinching his skin.
“If you want me to strangle you, just ask,” I murmured.
He laughed, and his strong throat bobbed under my fingers. “Ditto. What are you two talking about over there?”
I flushed a little more. “None of your business. The play. Why?”
He smirked. “Is it none of my business, or is it the play? You’re looking flustered,” he added.
I rolled my eyes and stepped back, the helmet as tight as I could get it.
“Whatever. I don’t know why you even care—”
The whistle blew behind us. Brody had to go.
“Because it’s making you smile like that. I’m jealous,” he admitted and skated effortlessly backward, his gaze on me until he had to turn.
I sank back down beside Winter and ignored the look she drilled into the side of my face.
“Yeah, it’s totally casual, a meaningless hookup, nothing more,” she teased. “Girl, he’s in love with you.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, right. You’ve been reading too many books lately. Guys like Brody don’t just fall for girls they’ve slept with a few times.”
“I don’t care what you say. That man loves you. End of story.” Her smile faded, and she turned serious.
I’d called Winter earlier to explain what had happened with Officer Preston the night before. She’d listened without judgment and immediately jumped to figuring out a plan. She was my ride or die, always.
“But have you told him about the cop? What are we going to do?” she asked.
We. The way she just included herself on my side warmed my heart.
I covered her hand with mine and squeezed it.
“I haven’t told him. I don’t want to. I’d hate to tell him, actually.”
“Okay, but you know you have to, right? This guy is threatening you. Don’t be the girl who doesn’t ask for help, and tries to do it all alone, and pushes everyone away—”
“Are you talking about yourself?”
She nodded. “Yes, don’t be me. Communicate.”
“I don’t want to make my problems his problems. That’s not fair.”
“Yeah, and what happened last year was fair? Life isn’t fair, and you need to give him a chance to help,” Winter said matter-of-factly. “Do you like it when people you care about cut you out of their problems?”
I watched Brody going head-to-head against Beckett, slipping the puck past him and spinning out of his defensive moves.
I sighed. “Why do you have to be right all the time?”
She shrugged. “It’s a gift and a curse.” She shot me a small smile and squeezed my hand back.