46. Hendrix #4
“What the hell is going on, Hendrix?” Bex chimes in. “Why do you look seconds away from asking me to dig an Archer sized hole in the ground?”
My best friend.
My best friend.
My best. Fucking. Friend .
“How long did you know?” I ask Archer, more as confirmation than an actual question—because when you get betrayed by as many people as I have, shock gets old real fast.
Sadness washes over Archer’s face, leaving him on the brink of shedding the same tears as I am.
“I’m so sorry, Hen. But only since September.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“No, of course not. I hate myself for keeping this from you. But my family gave me no choice.”
A maniacal sound bursts out of me. “Choice, choice, choice! Nobody ever has a fucking choice!”
“I know it sounds fucked up. But this world is dark, and so much bigger than us.”
“You know what else is bigger, Arch? Loyalty! And I’ve been giving you mine since day one.”
“I will always be loyal to you, Hendrix.”
“Yeah. As long as it doesn’t involve defying Mommy, Daddy, or Grandpa.” Harsh, yeah, but necessary to stop myself from burying him like Bex mentioned.
“My situation isn’t that simple,” Archer argues with a hell of a lot of confidence for a guy who just stuck a knife in his best friend’s back.
“And you think mine is?” I spring to my feet and stand in front of him.
“You think me finding out my real father was a homicidal psychopath, that the Bratva wants me dead, that Carlo actually died for me…is that fucking simple? I’ve been being lied to about who I am for my entire life, Arch!
Eighteen years. And you’re gonna sit here and tell me you couldn’t find the balls to be honest with me for five months? ”
“I don’t know what else to say other than I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, unless the apology is as loud as your betrayal, don’t fucking bother.”
Bex reaches for my hand. “C’mon, Hen…I know you’re upset.
And have every right to be. But if Archer didn’t tell you, it had to be for a reason.
” She gives him a judgmental side eye. “What he did was an absolute fucked up move, but sometimes people keep secrets because they’re the lesser of two evils. ”
“Are you really taking Archer’s side right now?”
She retracts her hand from mine. “I’m just playing devil’s advocate. Archer loves you, he would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.”
“Oh, really?” I cross my arms. “And what do you know? You’re barely around anymore.”
Another low blow given Bex and Crayton have been through their own share of devastation, but that doesn’t mean theirs should negate mine.
“That’s not fair, Hendrix.” Bex stands too, crossing her arms. “You know what I’m going through with Crayton.”
Of course I do, dammit, besides, she has as much of a right to avoid this place as I have.
Right or wrong, though, my heart hurts too much for my anger to discriminate. Especially when her swift defense of Archer makes me feel even more alone in this.
Because that’s what I am now. Alone.
So what else is there to do but fight for myself?
With a defeated shrug, I reply, “I get it. But everything you do lately is for Crayton.”
“That is not true.”
“Well, it sure feels like it. The same way it feels like everything Archer’s been doing is to benefit his family.”
“Also not true.” Archer stands. “I’ve been going through my own shit with my family, yeah, but my reasoning for not telling you aligned with everyone else’s.
Even Saint’s. You finding out the truth about your dad when the Ivanovs put a target on your back would’ve ended in a worse disaster than we are in now. ”
“ I am in now.”
“Believe it or not, Hen, my intentions were truly to keep you from getting hurt. Both physically and emotionally. This shit with Nikolai Ivanov isn’t some high school drama we dealt with last year with his rancid daughter Alexis.
Two dangerous families have been at war since last January, and all any of us have been trying to do is make sure you stay alive. ”
Another wave of anger soars through me, but this time it’s from Archer’s pure contradiction.
“And how well did that work out, huh? I almost got abducted and killed alongside Carlo. The entire time being convinced by everyone it had something to do with Vic’s allegiance to the Salvinis.
” With an incredulous laugh, I add, “Did any of you stop to think that maybe if you trusted me with the truth things wouldn’t have gotten this bad?
That maybe I would’ve chosen common sense over lashing out? ”
“I love you, Hendrix. But the stakes were too high to bet on your temper. Your mom taking that money from the government put her back on the map the Salvinis have been hiding you from for years. The Ivanovs never knew Luca had a daughter with your mom. They were convinced her brief relationship with him was strictly a fling.”
Archer’s swift judgment, along with him journeying through the timeline of my existence as if it’s some history lesson in a book, has my anger boiling over into tears.
“Your lack of trust, and expert ability to look me in the eye for months knowing all of this, speaks volumes on where I stand in our friendship.” Glaring between both Archer and Bex, I add, “Since day one I’ve had your guys backs through everything.
I kept your secrets, soldiered your battles, even chose your wellbeing over my own.
I did it all without hesitation…you know why?
” The rhetorical question is for Archer, which I answer for him with a poke to his chest. “Because my love also plays a big part in my fucking temper.”
Archer speaks words that symbolize an attempt to reason, so I hold out a hand for him to quit while his tongue is still intact.
“I may want to kill you right now, but I’m not as unhinged as you seem to think. I hate that you lied to me, Arch, but the rational part of me gets it. Everyone has secrets, but I would never, ever keep such a vital one from either you or Bex. No matter how much the truth may hurt.”
Something about what I said makes Bex start crying, which makes zero sense since she isn’t the one who’s been lying to me.
Whatever her issue is, though, will have to wait, because my emotional meter is running hot—and the only thing I have to cool it down has been waiting months for me in my nightstand drawer.
So, with nostrils flaring, I make my way over to it.
“Where are you going?” Archer asks.
“For a smoke…not that it’s any of your damn business.”
Bex swipes a hand across her cheeks, attempting to perk up as I retrieve the unopened box of Newports. “I’ll come with you.”
“No. Both of you stay here.” I shrug. “Or get out, I don’t care as long as you leave me alone.”
Neither of them dare to argue. Not even when I reach the door.
“I love you, Hen,” Archer says just as I twist the knob. “And I really hope you’ll forgive me for my part in this.”
Forgive his part?
How could I when I haven’t even forgiven myself for mine?
A sharp glance at Archer is all I can manage before pulling open the door. Where the last person in the world I want to see is greeting me at the pass, proving once again that the universe isn’t done torturing me yet.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here…?” Annalie says, popping her gum. “A slightly less fat pig crying.”
My knuckles ball to iron fists, and I’d love nothing more than to take out the rage blazing inside me on Annalie’s face. Again.
She’s not worth proving everyone right, Hendrix. My conscience reminds me. So control your temper and keep moving.
It takes me a few to get fully convinced, but when I do it’s followed by a pitiful scoff. I attempt to sidestep Annalie, but she blocks me with one of her own. Then, with a devious smirk, looks over my shoulder.
“I see your royal skank highness is crying too.” Annalie tilts her head. “Tell me, Rebecca , is it because Hendrix found out you fucked her boyfriend junior year?”
It takes me a few blinks to register what she said, and I want to cackle at the outrageousness of it. Or even better, sit back and watch Bex beat the shit out of her.
“Wow. You really are one desperate, insane bitch.”
Annalie narrows her eyes at me. “Am I, though?”
I narrow mine right back. “Certifiably.”
“Then turn around and see for yourself.”
I listen, because after everything that just happened, maybe a good laugh at the enemy’s expense will balance my emotional scales.
The only problem is, when I find Bex, it’s the enemy who ends up laughing.
I was wrong about shock…it isn’t as old as I thought it was.
Just selective.
Because there’s my best friend, looking back at me in horror with fresh tears streaming down her face. Bex’s glassy eyes plead with me, but she knows better than to speak.
Unlike Annalie behind me, who brings her fake lips to my ear and whispers, “Guess it’s not just my sloppy seconds you’ve been fucking.”
A rage, even worse than the night of Archer’s party, collides with the little self-control I have left. Forming a nuclear reaction so intense, my sanity explodes into a million deadly pieces.
The strongest of them being a hunger for justice.
I spin around, crushing my fist into the side of Annalie’s head so hard it knocks her out cold into the hallway. A decent start, yeah, but it’s not her actions that the real justice needs to be served to.
Pulling out my cell phone, I tap against the screen until I reach my destination…then, with tunnel vision stalk over to the bed. All while ignoring Bex’s spew about how her hook up with Saint “isn’t what I think it is.”
Cool story, bruh.
Add it to the list of lies and disloyal fucks who can go fuck themselves .
Which, at this point, includes every single person in my life. Except for one, and I say that because not only did Carlo prove his loyalty to me, he died honoring it.
Well, it’s time for me to honor my loyalty to him.
I drop to my haunches, sliding the safe out from under the bed, pressing my thumb to the sensor before swinging it open. My body moves on autopilot as I retrieve the box, not bothering to close the safe before heading to the door.
“Hendrix, where are you going?” Bex cries, right before Archer asks, “And who the hell is the gift for?”
I continue the silent treatment, holding the box under my arm and the phone at my side, but it isn’t until I’m kicking Annalie’s body out of the way that the two of them attempt to follow.
A ttempt being the key word, because the second I hear their feet moving my thumb presses the screen, and I’m listening to the sound of a steel door slide shut behind me.