Chapter 5
Ihaven’t slept for days. And I don’t think I’ve breathed regularly since I saw Delilah on the rooftop of the castle two nights ago. Having this girl in my life has fucked me so hard.
But she’s worth it.
Some of the tension built over the past week eases from my shoulders the second we step into my dorm room and the lock clicks behind us. Although Delilah’s finally safe, I’m still reluctant to put her down. She’s stiff in my arms, doing her best to distance herself from me emotionally, but it won’t last for long.
I’m going to make sure of it.
After gently setting her on the edge of the bed, I let my hands linger, savoring the feel of her body. She frowns, but the disapproving expression doesn’t hide the way her pulse leaps under the skin of her neck. How it quickens at my touch. That small reaction has my cock straining against my zipper.
I’m going to fuck the shit out of her when she’s recovered.
I’d give anything to be inside her, to erase the horror of the Trial by losing myself in her body, but I can’t right now. So, I kneel and slide her hospital socks off one at a time, taking extra care not to jostle her. She doesn’t speak, not even to thank me.
This girl always has a million questions to ask me and some smart-ass thing to say. But right now, she’s withdrawn, hiding in the recess of her mind where I can’t follow. I fucking hate it.
Her breathing is shallow, and she’s clutching the bed sheets so much that her knuckles are pale. I look up, expecting her to glare at me, but Delilah’s gaze is unfocused. Is she still pissed? Or is she in pain?
The idea of her suffering furrows my brow as I take her hand, still on my knees before her. “Hey.”
She blinks and drops her gaze to mine. “What?”
“Talk to me,” I say, keeping my voice low and soothing. It’s like coaxing a wild animal that’s ready to bolt.
She swallows, and the subtle movement of her throat catches my attention. It’s so feminine, so delicate.
I slowly get to my feet and brush my thumb along her jaw, marveling at her softness despite having touched her several times. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to it.
“What do you want me to say?” she asks.
“I know you’re still mad. Tell me what’s bothering you.”
She stares at me. “Your behavior is a problem.”
“You’re going to have to be more specific,” I tease, using her words from the past.
“You’re a psychopath.”
Her statement doesn’t affect me. I know I’m not reacting the way she expects. Delilah thinks remorse and guilt are the same thing, but to me, they’re not. I’ll never apologize for saving her life, but I certainly feel the claws of guilt slicing into my psyche every time I picture her face contorted in pain. Branding and stabbing her were not my choice. Protecting her is.
“Is that really how you see me?” I ask, more curious than offended.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” She shakes her head and blows out a breath. “You’re complicated.”
“How so?”
“You stab me, but then you say that it’s to save my life while refusing to leave my side. You tell the Order I’m your property, but you treat me like I’m someone important. Everything about you is a contradiction.”
I shrug. “I can’t explain to you what I don’t fully understand myself.”
I was brutal and ruthless before I met her. But now? I don’t have any limitations on what I’d do for her. Love is fucking insane.
Why does this intense emotion make me do the things I do? Say the things I say? I’ll never know. The only certainty in my life is that Delilah is the only woman I’ll ever feel this way about.
“That’s not good enough, Xavier.”
“It’s going to have to be.” When she opens her mouth, I cut her off by placing a finger on her lips. “I can tell you’re in pain. Do you need some medication?”
She nods, her eyes still carrying a hint of discomfort. I grab the bag and retrieve the bottle of pills, along with a glass of water. After a brief moment of hesitation, she pops the tablets in her mouth and swallows them.
“I’m going to take a shower.”
“Not without my help.”
Her breath comes out in a rush. “Um, I think I can do it.”
“I’m sure you can.”
I place my hands on her knees and grip the hem of her gown. Then I slide the material up her thighs until I reach her waist. She blushes and averts her gaze, but her shyness doesn’t deter me. Just like her inner fire, her moments of submission are a drug to me.
She lifts her arms, and I remove her clothing in one smooth motion while being mindful of her wound. The bandage is white, similar to the lace panties she’s wearing.
Delilah bites her bottom lip, her teeth digging into the plump flesh when I hook my fingers in the waistband of her underwear. “Stop that,” I say with a nod at her mouth. “You’re hurting yourself.”
“But it’s okay for you to stab me?”
I repress the laughter that builds in my chest at her snark. “That’s different. Besides, the doctor said you shouldn’t do anything strenuous.”
“I don’t think removing my panties falls under that category,” she mumbles.
“Don’t fight me, little raptor.” I can’t stop the grin that appears. “It’s not like we’re going to have sex. The only thing I’m going to do is take care of you.”
“Is it because I’m your bride? Your property?”
“No. It’s because you’re the only person in the world who matters to me.”
Like a pierced balloon, the fight rushes from her, every muscle in her body softening. She doesn’t move, but her resistance is nearly gone.
I tug on her underwear, and she lifts her hips. The scrap of material slips easily over her rounded ass, revealing her pussy. My cock twitches, the sight of her cunt making me ever harder than before.
Once I remove the lacy material from around her ankles, I stand and offer her my hand. Delilah watches me with wide eyes, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Her nipples are pebbled, and she’s so wet I can smell her arousal.
She’s going to obliterate my self-control.
I scoop her up and head into the bathroom. Delilah buries her face against my chest, her grumbling muffled. I set her on the counter, and she shivers from the cold marble. As soon as the water is warm enough, I strip and carry her into the shower.
“This is embarrassing,” she mutters.
I squint at her. “Why? You’re beautiful.”
“But you’ll see me.”
“I’ve already seen you. Remember?”
“It was dark then.”
“You might as well get used to it.” I set Delilah on her feet and keep an arm around her waist while I reach back to close the shower door. “I plan on seeing you naked often. Every. Inch. Of. You. And I’ll be the only one.”
She purses her lips. “What about doctors?”
“I wanted to kill him, but the surgery was necessary in saving your life.”
“You’re fucking nuts.”
I grin. “Agreed. You drive me insane.” I reach for the shampoo and squirt some into my palm. “Wet your hair.”
After rolling her eyes, she does what I ask. I work the soap into her hair, massaging her scalp and temples. She groans softly. The sound vibrates along her skin and through my fingertips. My cock juts forward, resting against her lower back.
“You might as well get used to that,” she mumbles, wiggling her ass against my dick. “No strenuous activity.”
I refrain from spanking her and repeat the process with the conditioner. Her shoulders droop, her body no longer rigid. I wash it thoroughly while cursing myself the entire time for thinking I could get through this ordeal without losing my shit.
As quick as I can, I rinse her off and wrap her in a towel. Hiding her naked skin is the best I can do, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting her.
I’m going to fuck myself tonight for sure.