Chapter 4
T he chatter among the other patrons at the pub almost drowns out my rushing thoughts. I'm hoping the whiskey tonic I'm nursing will help even more.
Finn slides into the booth seat across from me.
"Thanks for coming," I say as I wave the server over. I look over at my brother, thankful that he's gained the weight he lost after he wound up with a blood infection that kept him in the hospital these past weeks.
He frowns at me behind his ruddy beard. "I don't want to come back."
I can't hide my surprise as my eyebrows shoot up into my hairline. "I wasn't going to ask you to," I say slowly, trying to figure out where this is coming from. "Is this because of rumors? Of Damien trying to stir things up? I took care of that."
Finn scoffs and guzzles half of the beer the server left at our table before answering me. "It's more than Damien, and you know it," he bites out, swiping at his beard.
I love my brother, but sometimes I see our father in him, and I hate it. Like now, when he's giving cryptic answers swathed in righteous anger. I want to shake some sense into him.
Taking a deep breath to tame my own rising rage, I think through my words before I say them, a coping habit I learned under the rule of my father. Choosing my words carefully was the best way to avoid a beating with Sean. But as I start to speak, I halt. This is my brother, not Sean. If Finn can't handle my anger, then he shouldn't be anywhere close to leading our family. Toddlers aren't fit for leading.
"Just hold up a second. I have no idea what you're so angry about, and even if I did, that's no reason to be taking it out on me. You don't even know why I asked you here!"
Finn blinks before finishing his beer. "You're right. I'm sorry," he holds his hands up in a universal surrender gesture. "I think I hear more of the rumors than you, as I'm dealing with daily calls and text of assholes begging me to come back and take over."
I lean forward. "Who?"
Finn narrows his eyes before crossing his arms. "I'm not telling. You' ll just kill them, which will make them even more scared of you."
"Oh, so everyone fears me and that's why they want me gone?" I snap. "If you were out killing anyone who opposed you, they'd be singing your praises and telling you how great you were."
Finn laughs at that, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiles at me.
"It's not funny!"
"It's a little funny."
"Sexism is not funny, Finnegan."
"Oooh, bringing out the full name. Now I know you're mad."
Rolling my eyes, I move on. "So folks are complaining. What's new? They'll get used to things, eventually."
The energy turns somber as Finn replies, "I don't know if they will, Sloane."
It's my turn to blink at that. Of all the things I thought he would say, I never thought he'd say that. I let my anger roll over me, turning into an inferno that smolders the fear.
"Look, I asked you here not because I want you to come back or take over. I know you don't want that and I understand. Frankly, I don't want that. I'm the oldest, anyway." Finn looks down his nose at me and I know he's about to interrupt and tell me all about how I may be older, but he's stronger and so I keep talking, not letting him get a word in. "I asked you here to see if you had any advice or ideas. Some words of wisdom. Ways to get people to stop this bullshit. Without killing them, I guess. Even though that would have worked."
"You don't want me to come back?" Finn's eyes bore into mine, looking for a lie that isn't there.
"Nope, not even a little. Well, maybe a little. But only at Christmas, so I can watch you unwrap nail polish and hair gel in front of everyone else." I'm rambling and I know it's because I'm nervous. Finn's words were more than unwelcome. They crumbled the very ground I was standing on.
"Marry Liam."
"What?" I practically yell, and I can feel the heads turning my direction.
Finn continues on. "If folks were going to come in line, they would have done so already. Instead, it's just getting worse. And folks on the outside are going to make plays soon. A little bird told me that Eddie Mulligan was going to visit soon, to propose an alliance."
"An alliance? We don't make alliances."
"Marriage. And there are others. Others who won 't take no for an answer."
"Are you kidding me right now?"
Finn signs and runs a hand through his short copper hair. "I wish I was."
"And let me guess, Cara Mulligan is the little bird?" Finn and Cara had been lovers for years and because Finn wasn't supposed to be a virginal mafia princess, it was allowed.
"Look," Finn said, holding up his hands again, "I know the situation is shitty. I know it's not fair. But change doesn't happen overnight. You have to go slowly."
"So I have to get married?" I demand.
"Liam is the best choice. You know him, you know he'll do as you ask. He won't try to control you. You'll be partners."
"And what of the O'Neils? Liam controls the Calders now that Kieran is gone. Am I supposed to just become a Calder now?"
"I doubt it. You'd have to ask Liam, but he's probably fine with you not changing your name. You could probably get him to agree to a partnership in name only if you wanted."
"You think he'd really go for that?"
Finn tilted his head at me, seemingly puzzled. "I think he'd do anything you asked him to."
I huffed. This is not at all how I thought this conversation was going to go.
"Not everything can be solved with violence, Sloane," Finn says as he gestures for another beer.
I don't know what to say to that, but I do know I'm determined to prove him wrong. I'll do this on my own, without the shield that Liam Calder can provide.