Chapter 2 Tristan
TRISTAN
Not a single person looked up from the television when Cole and I walked into the hockey house. Not our teammates, not the girls, not even Katie.
I wanted to tell them what Eva had done, that the reason we’d lost was because she’d betrayed us.
But doing so would mean I’d have to admit my own complicity, that I’d known she was selling our information, and instead of doing something to stop her or to help her out of a terrible situation, I’d doubled down on Cole’s blackmail, forcing—
Forcing wasn’t the word, though, was it? No, it was much uglier.
Eva had betrayed us. She’d betrayed me. She’d betrayed Cole. Of that, I was certain, and I nursed the anger in my heart to blot out the cruelty of leaving her alone to face Jedediah Carter.
Cole walked up the stairs without a word and slammed his door in my face, leaving me standing in the hallway, my duffle slung over my shoulder, more lost than ever.
Cedric
Hey, buddy, you okay?
My cheeks heated with shame. My brother had called in a lot of favors to get scouts to go to that game, and all I’d done was show them my team hated me.
Instead, I called my mom, on voice instead of video.
“Hey there,” she said. “I’m going to set the phone down so we can talk while I wash dishes.”
I smiled at the thought of her in the tiny house we grew up in, looking out the kitchen window to watch me and Cedric playing in the backyard, skating on the pond behind our house during the frigid Colorado winters.
“How’d the series go?” she asked, as if she didn’t already know. Ma followed all my games, cheering me on from the sidelines. She always had.
“Awful,” I admitted, flopping backward onto my bed.
“Game two looked rough.”
“You watched it?”
Shit. That meant she’d seen what my teammates had done. Or rather, what they hadn’t done—abandoning me for the Hawks to beat the shit out of me.
“How’re you feeling?” Ma’s question was deeper than my physical injuries.
My gusty sigh drew a laugh out of her.
“That bad?”
“I fucked up,” I said.
“Language, Tristan!”
“Ma,” I whined, then blushed when she didn’t say anything. “Sorry.”
“What happened?”
“A girl—” How could I explain this to her?
My mom laughed before I could find the words. “Is this that girl you’ve been avoiding talking to me about all semester?”
Ugh. Moms. Why did she have to be so damn astute?
“She—” I took a deep breath. “She did something shitty, and then I did something shitty, and then she did something shittier, and then I did something shittier, and now, everyone hates me.”
“Wow, kiddo, that’s quite a complaint.”
“Ma!” The last thing I needed was for her to give me a hard time about this, but dammit, I was smiling despite myself.
“That doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship.”
Her words drew me up short. It wasn’t. It wasn’t healthy at all. When Eva had been in trouble, instead of asking how I could help, I’d doubled down on being an asshole. Now, her life was in danger, and so was her father’s.
Fuck.
When I didn’t say anything, Ma prompted, “You seemed like you really liked her.”
“I do. I did,” I corrected.
“You do,” she corrected me right back. “And it seemed like she might like you too?”
“I thought she did,” I muttered. “But—”
“But?”
“But she obviously didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth.”
“Was she cheating on you?”
“No.”
“Was she lying to you?” Did it matter that she was selling secrets to Jed Carter instead of the bratva when her father’s life was on the line? And hers?
“Yes,” I muttered. Fuck. “I think I would have lied too in her situation.”
Ma hummed quietly, the sound of dishes clanking in the sink a familiar accompaniment to our conversation, Homesickness washed over me—for my family, for Colorado, for a place where I didn’t have to code-switch. I missed normalcy. I missed Eva.
“Ma, I fucked up.”
“There’s very little that can’t be fixed in this world,” she said softly, more kindly than I deserved.
“I don’t know how,” I whispered.
Her laughter rang out, bright and cheerful. “Oh, Tristan. Start by saying you’re sorry.”
“It’s not that simple,” I answered, resentfully. “She—”
“She what, Tristan? She owes you an apology too? Is she a toxic person who lies and plays games?”
“Never,” I snapped before I could even think about it. “She’s so fucking good and smart and—”
“Uh-huh,” Ma said, and I could hear the smile in her voice.
“I hate it when you’re right,” I sighed, smiling right back at her, even if she couldn’t see me.
“Do you want to fix this?” she asked. “Do you want to be with her?”
“Yes,” I answered. Unequivocally.
“Then it sounds like you’ve got some work to do.”
Dammit.
By the time I’d showered and put my gear away, my head had cleared. Eva was the one who’d told me she didn’t date, who’d pushed me away until I took away her ability to do so. She’d tried to protect me, and I’d been too fucking stupid to see it.
Me
Hey
Me
Did you make it home okay?
She didn’t answer. Why would she? I’d find her tomorrow and apologize, grovel, if that’s what it would take.
She deserved better.
I knew that.
Thank god, she knew that.